Around 2019 I noticed I started to steadily gain weight with no changes to diet or exercise. I was 170 then, 5'5'', and while not thrilled I was far more content. I could run, and I enjoyed moving around easily. Now, 2025, I'm 291.
I have a thorough check up scheduled for the 24th of this month and I'm terrified of not getting taken seriously because of the weight. It doesn't help that I'm afab.
I need answers. I need to find out what's happening to me.
However, I'm far from a stranger to medical neglect and mistreatment. During my budding symptoms in my early 20s, I was told to my face that I'm being "A typical Woman" and "Stop pretending". My schizophrenia was showing up harder than ever, and after a life long battle of trying to mask, it couldn't be hidden anymore.
That's just one example.
Almost every day I have to force myself to eat. In my mind I'm still that size 4 I was for over a decade, and looking into the mirror makes me not recognize who I'm seeing. I'm scared of not being believed that I struggle to eat. I get nauseous and my throat closes. If not for medication, I wouldn't eat at all.
But something is wrong. Blood work over the past 6 years has come out "normal." So I'm scheduled to do it again in a few days, and I'm terrified. If it comes out "normal" again, what can I do? I can't just keep getting bigger and bigger, I want to be able to run again. I want to live somewhat normally.
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