I started my weight loss/fitness journey in the fall of 2018 (240 lbs., 5’5”). I progressed really well and had lost 60 lbs. by fall of 2019. Then, began the backslide. COVID happened, I had to care for my terminally ill father and within a year I had gained back 40 of the 60 lbs. I had lost! I was so freaking discouraged and felt like such a loser. I can’t tell you how daunting it felt to start again.
Well, in December I had routine labs done at the doctor and found out my liver enzymes were elevated. He ordered an ultrasound and I found out I had a fatty liver. That was enough to kick my butt back into gear. I felt physically terrible and knew I had to get back on track or I was facing a quick decline into chronic disease. (I am a nurse and see the long term effects of obesity every shift I work).
This time around, I was more determined than the first. I knew that I had done it before and I could do it again! I started at 221 lbs. on January 5th and this morning I weighed in at 179 lbs. So, I am officially back to where I was before the backslide for a total of 41 lbs. lost.
I have been more successful than the first attempt because I was able to use my previous failure as motivation. I know now how easy one or two bad days turns into weeks and then months and then next thing you know you are almost back to where you started. I don’t let myself fall into patterns of bad days because I never want to go back there again.
This time around, I am focused more on a long term healthy lifestyle instead of getting to a goal weight as quickly as possible. (Last time I had an unrealistic goal of losing 90 lbs. in one year to reach 150 by my 50th birthday). If it takes years then so be it. I have also focused on eating a high protein, lower carb diet and the carbs I do eat are unprocessed. That has really kept my cravings under control as well as binges (which I did quite often the first time … hence the several bad days in a row turning to weeks and months).
I’ve joined a fancy gym and I am swimming and working with a personal trainer. I am in the best physical condition of my life and hopefully will only improve as I get the rest of the weight off.
A last thing that is different this time is that I am trying to be kinder to myself. During the first attempt, I constantly put myself down and felt I’d only be happy when I reached my goal. This time, I am really working on my self talk and trying to appreciate my body every day for where it is at and for what it allows me to do. I am saying “yes” to things that I never would have before because I’d feel self conscious. I’ve decided to live life fully in my today body, not waiting for the “perfect” body of the future.
So, if you’ve fallen off the wagon, I hope you’ll be kind to yourself and know that you can get back on. We can do this!
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