Hello, fellow Losers! I've been in this community for over 3 years now. I lost weight in 2018, gained it all back in the next two years. I was at the highest weight of my life on March 18, 2021: 182,5 lbs. I was 4 lbs away from being obese. My goal was to be not fat for my 40th birthday. And by not fat, I meant under the overweight BMI threshold (155 lbs), back in my usual clothes and feeling good about myself. I did not have a fixed weight in mind, but my guess was 139-145 lbs. I hit 139 lbs 2 days ago.
This is what I did and what I learned in the past 4 months and 25 days :
- Figuring out why I overeat was step one, and made all this possible. My problem was impulse control and take-out. Tired? Take out. Stressed out? Take out. Anxious? Take out. I got a check-up with my GP, and discussed my mental health. After evaluation, I was diagnosed with ADHD impulsive/hyperactive type. I'm now having help managing my ADHD and my impulses, and it made a world of difference.
- I weight myself every other day, and record my lowest weight each week. I ignore bad days. I ignore my period weight (it's always higher) and the day after a burger and poutine. What is important is the trend from week to week. I could weight myself once a week, but every other day removes a lot of the scale's power: it's just a number now.
- I don't weight everything I eat. I know it's the most common and true piece of advice here. It's the very best way to make sure that you are at a deficit. I've had EDs in the past, and a tendency towards obsessing so it was not a path I was willing to take. I measured my food for 2-3 weeks, at the beginning, and kept eating the same meals. Coffee in the morning, a sandwich with soup or veggies for lunch, and a homemade dinner with meat, veggies and starch. I'm sure that some days I went over my calories, maybe some days I was under but I never went hungry. I tracked my average weekly intake by tracking my weight. If I was at my target (1,5-2 lbs), I kept going. If I was under the target, I restricted a tad more the next week.
- I eat full-fat yogurt. I'm a picky eater. I don't like to try new food. I don't like spicy food, wiggly food, mixed food, or mushy food. Bananas are evil. Nuts are scary. Ketchup is spicy. I love bland, boring food like mozzarella, white bread, and pasta. I kept eating the food I love, but I ate less of it. I found white bread with half the calories. I got used to low-fat cheese. I replaced my Venti vanilla bean low-fat latte for a Venti drip coffee, one cream. But I couldn't get used to any other yogurt than full-fat Liberte Mediterranean 10% yogurt. It's certainly more caloric than any 0% greek yogurt, but it's also a well-balanced meal, with fruits. It's one of my to-go light meals. A satisfying meal under 300 calories is still a big win IMO. Any bowl of full fat yogurt is still a better choice than any McDonald's meal.
- And full-fat ice cream. I tried those light ice cream, you know, the one that starts with Halo and ends by Top that everyone raves about. I don't like it. Not at all. So I eat small portions of Haagen Dasz. It's tastier, and it's better than binging on a full tub of ice cream, no matter how low calories it is. It is also a good way to create the habit of portion control. Half a cup of ice cream is plenty.
- I was creative to create a deficit. I do intermittent fasting (mostly 19-5) and sometimes OMAD. I eat less on the days I'm less hungry and when I move less, more if I'm hungry or move a lot. If I want to go to a restaurant, I do OMAD. I added a few longer (but not long) fasts, between 48 and 72 hours. I know that this is controversial, and not for everyone. I like the reset of my hunger that comes with it and the mental exercise. I always plan it carefully, stay hydrated, and ready to stop if it doesn't feel right.
- ''You're not as big as you were last year'' and other horrible things I've been told. People around me put their foot in their mouths all the time. I always assume that it is out of awkwardness, not pettiness. Hanlon's razor is a principle that states "never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity". I have answers ready. Most used one: My health or weight or food is not up for discussion. Thank you. My rudest one: Wow, you must be so embarrassed you said that. Puts the awkwardness on them. I do not engage. I do not argue. I never justify myself.
- I chose my support system carefully (and why you may choose not to have one). The only person who was aware of my weight loss plan was my husband. Because he could be supportive without being overbearing. That is a huge quality in a life partner. I would have kept everything to myself if it was not for him, because I made a plan, curated to my needs, and did not need outside input from well-meaning people. I'm an adult, I make my own decisions. Don't let other people make you think that you are wrong. Too much input from a peanut gallery is not a good thing. Get all the information you need to get started and just do it.
- I was ready for this change, but people around me were not. That's why people feel the need to comment on change, they don't know it's coming. They are not prepared, and they are surprised. That's on them, not on you.
- I set myself up for success, as I do for my students. I teach horse riding and always get my students in a place where they will succeed. I don't ask the impossible of them, or the horses, I don't skip steps, and I make sure to end every exercise with a success. I did the same for my weight loss plan: I had a game plan and any weight loss, no matter how small, was a win, maintaining was a win. I did not expect my pants to fin overnight and I accepted from the very beginning that some days, I would overeat or binge or crash. If I had a bad day, and went back on track the next? That's a win too.
- It's not an all-or-nothing situation. I was prepared not to make it all the way down to my goal weight, but everything between where I was at the beginning and a lower weight was a success.
- I never fail, I succeed or I learn. Failure is the very best learning opportunity. If I failed, I serached why, and made the appropriate adjustment.
- I never exercised, but I moved a lot. Exercise is mostly irrelevant to weight loss, but activity level is not. I haven't been to the gym in years, and I don't plan on going back, but I try to move as much as possible. I walk in the house during calls, I walk the dog twice a day, I take coffees on the go with friends instead of in a coffee shop. I even went to the shopping center, just to walk in a climatized place on days when it was too hot to go out. I mow the yard twice a week, wash the cars, offer to do essands for my family... Basically, I try to do anything but sit in my butt at home. My step count went way down during the lockdown and since work from home is my new normal, I had to make adjustments. Standing is better than sitting, walking is better than stading.
- Find a job you love, and you won't have to work a day in your life. Do you know the saying? First, it's stupid. Second, it applies to weight loss. Some sports are now impossible for me (40 yo, bad back) and I had to let go of running and Cross-fit years ago. My only sport right now is horse riding. It's not as intense as Cross-fit, but it makes me happy and I love every minute of it. It's not a chore, so I never miss a day. I strongly recommend finding an activity you love, instead of trying to force yourself into a miserable routine. What sports did you want to try as a kid? What activities were you jealous of? Go for it! I teach horse riding, and I have a bunch of 50-65 years old beginner students. It's never too late.
- I never say Never and I never say Always. I won't eat dessert during the week is a good plan. I'll never eat dessert again is just absurd.
- I had a maintenance plan ready before I even started. My plan was to keep weighing myself weekly to monitor my weight and continue recording it, (I think that was where it went wrong last time), to maintain in a range and not a fixed number, to keep on intermittent fasting, not go back to drinking calories, to keep eating differently from my husband (we eat meals together, just not the same things.) and to remind myself daily that eating is nice for 10 minutes but feeling good about myself is great all day long.
- I ignored the food police. All along, people told me to eat this, or that, or to avoid carbs or grains or fruits... To have smoothies or Soylent. Or to remove red meat. I call that the Food Police. Most of the time, the comments come in the form If you want X, you shouldn't do Y. Very little of this matters. Calories in, calories out.
- People lie, and sometimes they lie with the truth. I could tell that it was smooth sailing, that I lost all the weight within less than 5 months. It's true, but it's not the whole truth. Prior to those 5 months, I had 3 falses starts, a bunch of new highest weights, new binging issues, a meltdown at Christmas and I had to buy new bigger pants twice. Don't believe social medias. People edit the truth, hide skeletons in the proverbial closet, and put filters on their lifes like Kim Kardashians puts on her pictures.
- I tried to be my best friend. I'm was so harsh on myself when I started, and some one asked me the very best question ever: would I ever criticize my best friend the way I criticize myself? Would I call fat? Would I say that she eats like a pig? Or that she's week? Of course not, she's my friend! Well, I redirected a bit of empathy towards myself. I'm just human, I mess up, forget or fail. I have bad days. Empathy goes a lot way when it comes to fixing negative emotions and emotional eating.
I'm now moving to a maintaining phase. I expect mistakes, and to gain back a bit. I'll keep my plan in place. If I failed and gain back so serious weight, I'll ask myself why, and work on a new plan.
I wish you all a great journey losing weight, and a lot of victories along the way. I'll keep reading you stories.
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