Hi guys! You probably remember me from the crying-next-to-the-pool post!
Over the last couple years, I've been experiencing a lot of weight fluctuations. I went from 202lbs to 171 and now I'm back to 187. It's definitely frustrating and it caused me a lot of emotional distress lately. Earlier in June, I decided I was going to get back on track but even though I made the conscious decision to do so, I felt like I needed to try a different approach this time.
So, I have been on vacation for two weeks now and being away from my routine and my work has allowed me to reflect on those years gone by. Summer vacation has always been the perfect time to reflect on the past year and the new goals I would like to achieve.
Each year the goal is the same: to lose weight. And every year the conclusion is the same: I failed.
This summer started like any other. I cried because I felt fat and inadequate. I cried when I noticed that I no longer fit in my favorite summer clothes. I cried before attending to social events. Two weeks passed and I finally got tired of crying in front of my mirror.
And that's when I realized I needed to do something I've never done: it was time to study my failure. But like study, study. I needed to do a lot of introspections and understand what lead me to this. I mean how come I'm still not at a healthy weight/shape/BMI after two years of "effort" ?!
So I thought about it. A lot. For the first time in three years, I decided to look at my journey from an outside perspective. I decided to check all my weight loss tools' history.
I studied my lose it history, I went over my journal entries. I looked at my weight stats and my Apple Watch history. And suddenly it hit me like a brick wall.
I couldn't trust any available data because I've been lying to myself all this time. There were time holes and a lot of missing datas. And I knew exactly why. Cause I never tracked accurately. I would only log healthy foods, I would only keep track of calories and workout sessions on good days. I never logged in binge-eating sessions, never kept track on the rainy days. I would never count my calories on "bad days" when I would eat tons of fast-food and processed food. I was so dishonest with myself that after two years of weight-loss journey, I was still wondering how come I failed so hard when in reality, it's so obvious why!
The reality is that I tried to outrun a bad diet, I tried to act like bad days didn't exist. I only made efforts 25% of the time!!! I only invested 25% of myself!! I decided to not track the binge-eating sessions so I could pretend they didn't exist. I basically decided to fool myself 70% of the time and then complained about not being able to lose weight and "plateau-ing"!!!!
So I decided that this year was going to be different. This new life is going to be different. I am not going to lie to myself anymore cause that's what lead me to this day. I'm going to look straight at it, the good, the bad and the ugly. This is my hold-me-accountable post.
I thought my conclusion could be helpful to some of you guys!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/37DzqG0
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