17F 5’2 SW: 160 CW: 137 GW: 120
TW: Mention of eating disorders.
Story starts at the third paragraph, the first two are background info.
So a little background: I live with my mom and I also grew up in Hispanic household, similar to Asian households I will get told if I’m getting fat or skinny and family will encourage you to eat more. I was never diagnosed but once I reached middle school I began to diet and developed disordered eating. I had symptoms of BED and became a secret eater as well, I would often hide food in my hoodie pockets and take it to my room and eat a horrible amount of food at once. I was constantly eating and food was always the number one thought on my mind. I mainly yo-yoed diet and when I did it I was overly restrictive leading to me binging in the days that followed.
Fast forward to 2020 at the beginning of October I finally decided that I would lose weight in a healthy way and at this point it was more for my health than looks because I was on the verge of being obese according to my BMI. At this point I was in a much better space mentally and could correctly do CICO since I was better educated. I’ve come a long way and have made peace with the majority of my “trigger” foods that I often overate on. Food no longer controls me and this is the healthiest relationship I’ve had with it since before middle school.
Okay now to the actual story. So this morning I woke up and came downstairs i said good morning to my grandma and mom and we chatted a bit, then somehow my weight comes up. I was recently gone for two weeks at my aunts house so I guess my mom hadn’t gotten a good look at me up until that point. She comments that I look skinnier than last time and then asks how much I weigh. I told her the last time I stepped on the scale I weighed 136.6, she then proceeds to give me a wide eyed look that says “wow that’s getting too low” even though I’m actually still considered overweight for my height. She then asks how much more do I plan on losing, my goal is 120lbs but to keep her calm I just told her somewhere in the 120s. She tells my that’s too low and I tell her it’s in the middle of the healthy BMI weight range for my height and that it’s perfectly fine. I also mention I’m doing it slowly and not starving myself (she isn’t aware that I struggled with food in the past as far as I know). I also mention that my 5’1 sister is quite slim and weighs 110. She never comments about how she needs to gain weight (she doesn’t need to) but always likes to make comments about mine. My mom then proceeds to say her frame is small and I have a bigger frame. I do have a slightly bigger frame compared to my sister but I’m pretty sure it’s not bigger than average. I’m also carrying quite a bit of fat and don’t workout consistently so being at the lower weight range isn’t a bad thing in my opinion. I’ve also looked back at pictures from before I became overweight and I was quite skinny and my frame looked small/average for my size. I carry more fat in my thighs and breasts but my wrists and ankles are kinda small and bony. Anyways back to the original conversation, it eventually ended with my mom saying “I think I know what type of frame you have since I’ve raised you” which is partially true but she is also very uneducated about weight loss. She thinks too much protein will make you gain weight and that I must do rigorous exercise to lose it. She also thinks carbs make you gain weight too (sigh), so I’m not going to really trust her opinion about my weight. I look skinnier than before but I’m no where near actually being skinny. I’m at the point where I look more normal but would be considered on the chubbier side.
I guess my main concern is that she is going to think I’m trying to develop bulimia or anorexia. Which I’m definitely not and like I said I have a healthier relationship with food, I eat 1400 calories (I’m sedentary) and I don’t go any lower than that. Does anyone else have a similar experience with parents thinking your losing too much when you actually aren’t? Not sure what to do about this and I don’t want her to start telling me to eat more or try to take me to the doctor. I don’t know if she’d actually make me do that stuff but there is always a possibility. If you wanna share your experience or have some suggestions please feel free to do so.
Also if you disagree with the fact that I’m counting calories and losing weight since I’m young and not considered an adult, please refrain from commenting because if I didn’t do this I’d probably be obese by now. Thanks!
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