Hi /r/loseit friends. I find lurking in this sub really useful, so I thought it might help to add my perspective as a seemingly "naturally thin" person on how to do maintenance over a long time.
I'll be brief about my story: I gained a lot of weight in college and peaked at >140 lbs on my small 5'3" frame throughout my early 20s. I was just about overweight, but (due to some health issues) bore some markers of obesity even then. At doctors' urging, I started to diet, but briefly overshot to anorexia; I cycled down to 101 (gulp) and then back up to that >140 while trying to recover. But in the last 4 years, I've finally been able to stably maintain at 120-125 lbs, and in the last 6 months have cut down and maintained at 110-115 lbs, my ideal weight on a small frame. My goal is to stay in that narrow band for the next 2 decades (unless pregnant/nursing), maintain or improve my physical fitness with activity, and over time reduce the mindshare my diet occupies in my life.
Here's what I've learned in long-term maintenance that I hope will help you:
- Your weight is just another thing to deal with - it's not your value as a human. I've learned to think of excess weight as a pileup of something to deal with - like laundry or dishes piled up in your sink - dieting is a chore, it's annoying, it has to be done occasionally, but generating dishes or laundry isn't a personal failure or a "sin".
- Don't ever beat yourself up over a a failure like you wouldn't beat yourself up over a few extra dishes left overnight. It's just work to deal with later, and the occasion (Christmas cookies?) probably deserved it.
- Be gentle and realistic about goals. I know I will gain weight when I eventually pop out kids. I've actually saved up my old clothes that will fit me again at 120-130 and I'm genuinely excited to wear them when the time comes. We will probably all lose a little muscle and gain a little weight with age, and even as a "thin person" I'm no IG model; my tummy will always look a little fluffy and my legs will always have cellulite. That's okay! That's just real life outside filters and on real, 30-something body.
- Weigh yourself regularly. With all that gentleness, you do need honestly. Weigh yourself often - weekly or more. Especially when you slip, don't let the scale psych you out. Everyone else can see it whether you look at it or not. And every choice matters. To really belabor that metaphor: it's okay to have a backlog, but never good to just refuse to look at the sink!
- Rules are a shortcut; the key is to figure out what rules work for you and use them to save mental energy of thinking about your weight or diet. You'll probably figure out your favorite rules when you diet, which (if you're on r/loseit) you're probably really good at. These are my rules, but the real learning is to use whatever works for you to do less thinking and more living:
- Eat the same things. Counting calories and portion sizes works, but it takes a lot of effort; I have ~20 healthy dishes with good macros I know how to cook well and deliciously, and I know that I can maintain my weight if I eat those foods most of the time.
- Move by default. When I do the kind of big workout that makes me hungry, I'll often end up eating more and it only causes harm to my weight. (It's great for strength, though!) On the other hand, going on regular walks with friends (including on the phone), using a standing desk to work, and walking on errands help a lot. So does having some physical hobbies like cycling, hiking, or whatever else you enjoy, but focusing on a workout regime can lead to "dropping it" when things get stressful, whereas building in fun activities or mandatory errands keeps that endorphin rush.
- Don't eat or drink after X pm. I like junk but can live with intermittent fasting eating windows (generally 16 hrs a day, but really only stiff on "no food after 8 pm"). It prevents snacky noshing late at night and drunk bad choices. I let myself a couple exceptions to this rule a month of course. Light IF is also a great way to train the body to detox from eating constantly and builds creativity around food-less social activities in the evening.
- Build a helpful environment: keep healthy stuff visible, triggers out of your house. My fridge always has blueberries, apples, carrots, cucumbers, eggs, and lean tofu and chicken for snacking at all times - since they're my favorite healthful foods. Sometimes I make a bunch of roast veggies and box them for later snacks. I also know my triggers and just don't keep them in stock: I know I will consume 100% of my favorite chips purchased within 3 days of them coming into the house, so I buy a little bag and plan for it - yes, like an alcoholic with a tiny bottle of vodka. Managing trigger foods is exactly like managing addiction and you need to figure out whether you can do small quantities or go cold turkey - IMO there's no wrong answer to the "cheat food" question other than how they make you feel.
- Manage your tolerances especially for sugar. Sugar is triggering for nearly everyone, so in addition to the stocking issue (we bake cookies or pick up pastries from high-end shops sometimes, but do not stock grocery sweets like Oreos), my rule is to cultivate a taste for less of it. That just means reducing tolerance - so a smaller amount gives me the same sugar rush - and I do it by not eating sugar for a while. If I eat a whole chocolate chip cookie in a sitting I'm super happy but I need two the next day to be similarly happy, and it just escalates from there. So I eat one bite, or if I eat the cookie on one day I skip the second day. Same principle applies to amount of salt, butter, fat in foods, but sugar is the worst; there's a lot of research showing it's truly addictive to human brains and needs to be treated as such.
I'm not writing this because I'm a shining example of perfection - quite the opposite. For example, I binged an extra 500-1000 calories last night due to some work stress - giant bag of chips, chocolate, huge piles of crackers, ice cream, so much more. We all know the pattern. But instead of feeling guilt today I just know that means today I wear sweatpants, I'll cut out dessert tonight and drink water instead of juice for a couple of days, and maybe I won't restock the crackers when they're gone, and I look forward to my carb-bloat going down soon enough. And I'm remembering my decisions with a little annoyance and going to be a little more careful about that specific trigger next time. But it's okay! I probably gained 2 oz of fat all told; what's the big deal? It means nothing unless I let it ruin my week.
Weight loss is a psychological, physical, social, and logistical challenge. Having cycled up and down a few times, I now firmly believe that while maintenance is easier in most of those respects, it's a lot harder psychologically because it cannot be powered by self-loathing and other negative stuff that can push diets forward. Your plan is, simply, your life. It will continue until other health issues and aging (and death) get in the way, and so you have to approach it as attentiveness and self-care for your entire well-being. I'm still practicing and glad to be part of this community working on our health and our self-love together.
Best of luck to everyone, we will crush 2021 together! <3
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