Saturday, August 16, 2025

Discouraging and negative friend

Does anyone else have a friend who is just so negative and jealous about your weight loss journey?

My friend and I have both been wanting to lose weight, and I finally started to seriously count macros about a month ago. I’m down about 6lbs and I’m so happy! I have 10lbs to hit my goal weight.

My friend has about 40lbs to lose, but she refuses to make any changes. She’s constantly eating high caloric meals with red meat, cheese, carbs, etc, but then will always complain that she’s bloated, having skin issues, or other gastro issues. If I ever mention a healthy swap, like cauliflower rice or almond milk, she scoffs at me and things like “ew, that’s disgusting.” How do you expect to feel better if you’re not doing anything about it? She always says it’s some crazy health issue, and it’s never ever what she eats. Like right now, she’s convinced she has parasites, yet is drinking raw milk. And I’m just like ????? The cognitive dissonance is astounding.

This morning, I mentioned that I want to get back into running because I feel like losing 6lbs will make my mile time faster, and she was sooo negative and was like “that won’t make a difference.” Okay??? Like thanks for the encouragement? I’m so frustrated! I’m trying to be encouraging by giving her tips that have worked for me and she just won’t listen and claims “oh that won’t work for my body.” Like did you even try??? Ugh!

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Getting mad about so called friend

Been on my weight loss journey since the start of this year. (5'7 female) Starting weight 220 and down 30 pounds (I've slacked a lot but atleast have maintained) i have recently started back a 600 cal deficit.

My friend since high school (we are practically like sisters) has always been big, and lately shes been telling me negative things about my weight loss

For one, shes saying i disrespect women by losing weight. Um. I'm not doing this for men, and I let her know that. At first this was just a joking type of conversation, but it started getting heated after she told me to stop eating like a supermodel. Then saying stuff like "I could never eat that little!" "You must be tired all the time!" "How can you turn down those delicious cookies?!"

I am getting annoyed, and I've told her this. She laughs it off, and I'm ready to confront her even if it means it causes distance in our friendship

How can I approach this as kindly as possible?

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Friday, August 15, 2025

Losing Weight Post Cancer

Hi everyone!

I could use some help, recipes, and tips!

Last year, I went through treatment for breast cancer. During treatment, because of the medicine, being inactive, and going into menopause, I gained about 30 pounds during treatment.

Before treatment I’d lost about 60 pounds through calorie counting and exercise so I’m familiar with losing weight this way.

My issue is, I developed a disease during treatment that now requires me to be on steroids everyday and I’m struggling! I’m constantly hungry, incredibly tired because of my treatment and how my new disease affects my body, and can’t seem to lose weight because I’m constantly snacking.

I have no desire to be on any weight loss medication, but want to lose some of this weight because truthfully, I really dislike the way my post cancer body looks. My body was incredible in the way it got me through treatment, but I’m a bad sad with how I’m left looking now.

Anyone on here on steroids and can give me advice for recipes that are low calorie and filling, or tips for managing this hunger? The steroid hunger is different than anything I’ve experienced!

Thank you!

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How I have been losing weight happily after many unhappy attempts in the past ended up being what the happiest people who have lost all the weight did.

WARNING: I AM NOT TELLING YOU THAT YOU'RE LIVING YOUR LIFE WRONG

If you have been overweight / obese throughout your youth or for a prolonged period of time (say 5 or more years), you should not prioritise calories or building muscle (at least not for a while).

From my experience, the happiest people who have "lost the weight and kept it off" are the people who prioritised developing a healthy relationship with food, a new lifestyle and more active routines, and the things which make them happy. Counting calories didn't become a tool these people used until they neared the 2/3 point in their journey (and once they got to their goal weight, they had the lifestyle, routines, and relationship with food needed to not track and be able to maintain). They also didn't start going to the gym to achieve that "aesthetic" body, but instead incorporated movement and exercise that brought them joy.

On the contrary, I have noticed a lot of people who started counting calories from day 1 have made it so they can't maintain their goal body without tracking. They have corrupted their perception of food, will not be able to sit down with their families and eat whatever their SO cooks for them and their kids, and they say "I have accepted tracking will just be a part of my life." I think the biggest pusher towards developing this reliance on tracking calories is the modern day "gym-bro" culture, and not fad diets (which is a huge shift in the last 15 or so years).

Do what works for you, but for me and the people around me who are happy while losing weight / maintaining the weight they've lost would rather:
- Accept that your weight loss will take 2-3x the time you think it will take (say you think you will realistically lose 100lbs in a year and a half, accept that it will probably take 3-4 years)
- Worry about developing the lifestyle, routines, and philosophies the 'goal-weight-you' has (probably the things which let fit, healthy, thin, and happy become the byproducts)
- View calorie tracking as a self awareness tool, not a device to rely on for your weight loss
- View weight training as a hobby / an activity you include in your lifestyle NOT a requirement for weight loss or being happy

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Thursday, August 14, 2025

"How did you lose 10 pounds this month?"

(TW: Medical issues)

I have a tumor pressing against my stomach, Suzanne. Everything hurts and I've been living off of jello until the surgery.

I've never gotten this type of comment before. I know people can be really callous with weight loss, especially relating to medical problems, but it's also funny to me because I'm still technically obese with about 40 more pounds I'd like to lose. I guess the speed with which I've lost the most recent 10 is throwing my family off lol.

I have the surgery on Monday though and I'm excited for it to hopefully stop hurting and get to do activities again! I'm hoping that my university approves my accommodations requests for surgery recovery so that I don't need to take the semester off.

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Now what...? Reached my goal for the first time after hundreds of fails, and now I am unsure of how to proceed.

Hello, I am 21F and I finally managed to get to a weight that I am comfortable with and feeling amazing which is 50kg (I am 155 cm) my BMI is healthy for the first time since I was a young kid and I am ready to halt the deficit now

Thing is that I have actually never got to here due to yo-yo diets, so this is the first time that I have to sit with it and figure out what to do.

I have read a lot about how many people suggest that you just keep doing the same thing as you did when you lost the weight, thing is I am not even really sure what I did right?

The weight loss was 18kg, and It took me 12 months to loose which is quite sustainable and controlled I'm glad, maybe that's one of the reasons why it worked this time.

I also really didn't change my routine or anything, I did put in a bit more effort to walk more, and I did start to eat a tiny bit less than usual. I found that my problem most of the time was eating till I'm way too full and regretting it later when the fullness kicks in. So yeah.

One thing that was like a huge revelation for me was how bad volume eating was!!! My problem was with emotional eating and wanting to feel full (it was comforting in stressful times). BUT volume eating made me expect bigger portions, and while it worked for things like low calorie salads, popcorn etc etc, it didn't when the food was pasta, pizza and high calorie foods! Volume eating made me expect larger portions and made me feel like i needed to eat a certain amount.

Now i can feel that my stomach is smaller and that less food satisfies me, I love salads but stopped adding the low nutritional lettuce and leafs to have small ones, I am also still exploring my satiety and my hunger cues to figure out when I should stop eating.

In order to prevent that from happening ( or to be able to mantain the progress and create skills that help me with relapses) I have been thinking of focusing on new goals like better cardio or more movement in order to not get stagnant. I also know that usually when it goes bad, it's because I start to slowly integrate high calorie foods and I do not track them because I know that they will go above my deficit. This starts to slowly become more often and I start to get scared of going on the scale because I know I gained some weight.

And while I know it's ok to fluctuate, i do not wish to gain the weight and have to start over because it took so much time and energy to get here, the confidence i found in myself and the energy are things I hope I never forget while I am making food choices.

Now that I lost the weight, i would love to go deeper into the psychological aspects of food like food noise, food relationship and look into challenging years of dieting and having a bad relationship with food.

So my plan is to keep on eating smaller portions, to keep on tracking and slowly reverse diet back to a maintenance, I would also like to continue increasing on walking and running more now that I feel much better in my body and have the confidence to go out much more.

I will be keeping an eye out to see what has triggered me to go back to bad habits and stuff, now that i am not focused on weight loss I think it's going to be interesting to observe how this year has shaped new habits and to see if the things i changed have become a part of my lifestyle (i think so, because i actually managed to do it, and without a huge huge change in routine or anything strict)

Would love some help with this and if anyone has any tips let me know!

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