Based on a lot of questions and posts I see here, I wanted to share this. Weight loss is great, and can do so.much for you, including making you healthier. (I'm on mobile, do sorry for any mistakes.)
But here's what it can't do or shouldnt be able expected to do:
- It can't make you happy or make you like yourself if you don't now.
It you think everything in your life is awful, but it will be Instagram-worthy once you lose weight, you're setting yourself up for failure. Weight loss doesn't automatically make you happier, more outgoing, etc. If you are depressed or hate yourself fat, those issues won't melt away. Get done therapy while you lose.
- It won't make your body perfect by erasing all evidence of your previous weight.
You'll have loose skin. You'll still have stretch marks. You'll still have "trouble areas" where the fat seems determined to stay. You may lose all the weight in your breasts but not your stomach.
If you go into this expecting to look like a fitness model at the end, you're setting yourself up for failure. You can't choose where on your body you loose weight, and only youth and plastic surgery will truly tighten that loose skin. Remember: Loose skin with stretchmarks is healthier and hitter than being obese.
- It will not make you irresistible to the men or women you want to attract.
If you've been unlucky in love, you may tell yourself it's because of your weight. So you expect to be hit on a lot once you're thin. But it doesn't work like that. You still have to put yourself out there, ask people out, and be interesting enough to catch their interest.
So if this is your goal, work on n your insides while you work on your weight. Practice asking people about themselves without a goal of getting in their pants. Try out things where you might hear a "no" so you can get used to extending yourself. Get hobbies and interests if you currently don't. Get involved in some classes or activities to meet people (friends for now) and have interesting things to say.
- It will not make the people around you see the light and want to do it, too.
You know when someone asks you if you've heard about Jesus, and you roll your eyes, even if you're Christian, because you know you're in for a sermon from someone who is so excited about their own conversion that they want to convert you? Don't be that guy.
Just because you finally saw the light about your weight doesn't mean your parents, spouse, siblings, and friends are ready. Think if yourself a year before you started to lose weight. If someone excitedly told you it's good to eat better and lose weight, you'd want to punch them in the face.
Be a good example and answer questions well, but don't preach.
- Losing weight won't make you love exercise if you didn't already.
Losing weight makes exercise easier and makes it feel better, but don't think that hitting onderland comes with a burning desire to run. You'll need to find exercise that you are excited about, like hiking or swimming laps, or find a way to make exercise you don't love more tolerable (like music, going with a buddy).
- Losing weight won't kill your desires to binge, eat junk food, or eat your emotions.
"Fat logic" tells us skinny people are naturally skinny, are less hungry, don't like junk food, etc.. It's bullshit. They have to think about what to eat, decide not to have a second cookie, etc.
Being skinnier won't take away your desire to eat how you used to sometimes. You will have to keep working to do the right thing, bit know that almost everyone else is doing the same, even if they make it look easy.
- It will not necessarily lead to everyone complimenting you.
So many Redditors post variations of: "I thought I did good lose my X pounds but no one said anything so they didn't notice, which means I lost weight for nothing, so I might as well eat a million cakes." 🙄
First, we've all been frustrated when we don't have outsiders noticing and complimenting.
Second, not commenting isn't not noticing. In polite circles, people don't comment in weight, whether complimenting or insulting. They are being polite, not blind.
Third, if this makes you threaten to give up and binge, you need to decide whether you're dieting for the right reasons. Are you doing it to be healthier or because you can't function without external validation?
- It won't make you thin forever with no effort on your part.
When you hit goal, you don't get to go back to McDonald's value meals or the other high-cal thigs you used to eat. Regaining absolutely happens.
You will eat at maintenance level or you'll gain. But you know what to do to lose it again. Just know that fitting in skinny jeans doesn't transform your brain into an endless source of skinny choices.
There. I hope that doesn't come off as negative. Losing weight is awesome, necessary, and rewarding.
But I think if people took these lessons to heart, they'd go in with the right mindset and then feel rewarded by their loss rather than devastated that losing weight wasn't a cure-all for their entire existence.
