Thursday, July 16, 2026

50 lbs gone. Not linear, but it works!!

SW: 180 lbs (81.6 kg) CW: 129.4 lbs (58.7 kg). I am 5'3" (160 cm) and 32F. I lost most of the weight December 2023-October 2024, going from 180 to 132 in about 10 months eating 1400-1500 calories a day and prioritizing protein. I was vegetarian at this time so I supplemented protein a lot. I was also rock climbing and walking, as well as lifting maybe 3 times a week.

Took a "maintenance break" and gained back up to 139 from October 2024 to June 2025 😬 and got back down to 131 in October 2025. Gained again to 135 from October 2025-June 2026. Stayed active throughout with lifting, yoga, pilates, and a lot of walking (10k+ a day)

I work in special education for a public school district and have definitely noticed a gain/loss pattern that I'm determined to break this year lol

This morning, I saw 129.4 on the scale. Breaking 130 lbs has felt IMPOSSIBLE for the last couple of years. I attribute it to getting my ADHD, food noise, and comfort eating under control, as well as learning more about nutrition, and separating food from emotions. Now that I'm at a healthy weight, using a food scale to measure everything is crucial. I eat the same meals often. I have a go-to grocery list to lessen decision fatigue even when I haven't meal prepped because I'll always know what to make. I aim for 120+ g of protein a day and now usually stay between 1200-1400 calories of whole foods with little to no snacking. I'm still getting about 8-10k steps a day now that it's summer but my activity has gone way down this month because I'm finishing university (late, i know) and taking teacher certification exams. Weight loss in this range has been slow but steady, especially when compared to losing 6-9 lbs a month back when I was class 1 obese lol

Aiming to get serious in the gym again in August after taking my last exam and planning on slowly increasing my intake a bit once I get more active again. My original goal was to get to 120lbs but I mostly want to lower my body fat %. Using the navy formula I'm estimating it to be around 27% right now and I'd like to get to the 22-24% range. (Apparently can't get a Dexa right now because I have healing piercings I can't take out??? I haven't asked about glass retainers yet.)

Just wanted to celebrate myself. I worked hard!! It's not always smooth sailing but it's possible!!

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NSV *kinda*

I'm down just over 50lbs. My husband has not made much comment on my progress. I asked him not to because he doesn't celebrate me in a way I feel celebrated.

He started off kinda making comments like "of course you're going with the vegetarian omelette" or "are you sure you can eat that?"

These comments are well-meaning and supportive, but I was and am still feeling insecure about sharing my weight loss with anyone. I don't want excess commentary on my choices from family and close friends.

Anyways, tonight when we were having our adult time, my husband went to grab my thighs. They've always been his favorite part of my body. *Cue pause* and barely audible "wtf??"

I was like "what's wrong?"

And he said "Well I guess I just hadn't realized how your body has changed. There's a lot less to grab than there used to be" (MASSIVE EYE ROLL to this bc I haven't dropped any pants sizes)

I was torn between feeling flattered and self conscious. I told him when I started that I'll likely wind up with loose skin and he said he would love me no matter what. Anyways, there's my kinda sorta NSV for today!

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Loose skin after loosing 60 pounds and I don’t feel good about how I look.

I don’t know what to do but it bothers me that I have loose skin on my arms, legs and stomach. Standing up I look good, but then when I lay/sit down I look fat still. My thighs and calves have always been larger parts of my body, it’s mainly just muscle when I touch them, but they jiggle from the fat loss surrounding the muscle and I don’t like that, my muscle on my calves look big, kinda loose and it looks odd because I have small ankles. My breast are much smaller now, but they’re long and you have see folds from the loose skin.

I started this journey back in November October, I still want to loose about 40 more pounds overall before starting to maintain. But I don’t know, there’s apart of me that feels regretful for gaining all that weight when I know, I was young and didn’t really get much of a say in my diet, plus experiencing traumatic experiences in my childhood and teenage years, your body will hold onto fat to feel a sense of safety.

Now that I’m older, I can eat clean, I mainly do walking as my work out of choice, that’s how I lost the weight. I’ve been practicing yoga everyday recently because I want to become an instructor. I just feel dysmorphic in a way that my body is a reminder of my past self, I’m going to have to carry all of that with me physically as a reminder of all the things I’ve been through. I’m in my mid twenties, I want to feel young again after having to be the adult my whole life, I’m slowly getting that spark back in time. I would like to look lean and tone. I want to have a strong back. I want to be confident in a bikini and not conscious about my body. I feel that my confidence is growing as I lose the weight, but as I get closer to my goal weight, I feel like I’m at that stage of weight loss where you think that you look fatter than you actually are, until you look in the mirror one day and say “huh I look different” you know?

I’ve been overweight my whole life and this is the result of that, my weight currently is probably the lowest I’ve ever been since maybe 15/16. I don’t want to get surgery, because I don’t want the scarring. Non-invasive methods won’t work as well as going under the knife, and might go in the opposite direction of what you’re looking for. I heard that using copper peptides, skin tightening creams with retinoids can help, plus red light therapy, but that can only do so much when you’ve been overweight your whole life. I also think as I go closer to my goal it intensifies my relationship with beauty which I’ve always struggled with.

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What Do I Do?

Back in 2023, I started my weight loss journey at 213 pounds (5'3/159 cm). I fasted, counted calories, and walked 10k steps a day and a year later I was at 154 and very close to being out of the overweight category. The thing is, I started being quite unhealthy in the way that I lost weight and it wasn't sustainable. I slowly gained back like 30lbs over a year. Then I went off to college and came back and now im 225lb at 5'3. I gained quite a bit more than your average freshman 15. My clothes dont fit anymore and I cant seem to regain my consistency with weight loss. I really love fashion so it hurts every time I try and wear something cute I could slip right into in the past that now wont even come up my thighs. I have ADHD and some other mental illnesses and its hard not to stay in the bed all day over the summer when my work and whatnot are all on zoom. Because of my ADHD I also tend to eat out of boredom.

Sidenote: I used to have a fitbit and I lost it and never bought another, and I wonder if a fitness watch would help me to move more. Has it helped you?

What would you do in my situation? I did it in the past but why is it so hard now?

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Wednesday, July 15, 2026

Halfway there

So I started at 400 pounds, and now I’m at 305.
Whether that’s an accomplishment or not, I’ll let other people decide. Most days, I still feel like I have such a long way to go before I’m healthy, and that can be mentally challenging. You lose all this weight, and while there are amazing improvements, there are still a lot of struggles.
When I weighed 400 pounds, I could barely walk 400 steps before I was in serious pain. On a typical day, I walked maybe 1,000 steps total. I’d walk to my office, sit down because I was exhausted, and then walk back. That was basically all the exercise I could manage.
Now, I average about 5,000 steps a day, and on some days I hit 10,000. Even when I go for a 1 or 2 mile walk, it’s nowhere near as painful as walking just 400 steps was at 400 pounds.
People don’t always realize how physically painful it is to be that heavy. My calves hurt constantly, my shins ached, and every step felt difficult.
Even though I still feel very overweight, I’ve gotten something back that I didn’t realize I had lost: my mobility.
I can walk to a coffee shop. I can go grocery shopping in person. I can clean my apartment without feeling like I’ve run a marathon. Those are things I used to take for granted.
My next big goal is to start going to the gym. I haven’t stepped foot in one during this entire journey because I’m scared of people judging me. But I think that’s my next step.
For those of us who start at this size, weight loss isn’t just about the number on the scale. It’s about getting pieces of your life back, one step at a time.

If you’re just starting, and you’re where I used to be, don’t underestimate the small victories. One day you’ll realize you can walk into a grocery store, clean your apartment, or grab a coffee without thinking twice. Those moments add up

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Should I shift to focusing on body recomp rather than weight loss?

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Can we talk about discipline and weight loss?

I know I need to lose weight. I also know how to lose weight and what works.

What doesn't work is my depression/anxiety/ decision fatigue.

I have narrowed down my failures to also emotional eating because growing up I have never talked about feelings / taught to. /Made acceptable.

So I eat.

Bored i eat. Stressed I eat.

I also struggle with PCOS and insulin resistance.i did lose a whole bunch of weight when 18 but frankly it was easier to focus on a weight loss journey when just me.

Now in 30s since having kids it's a whole another trip. I'm constantly tired. If not physically then mentally. So I look at all these tips on how to skip motivation focus on discipline. I read it all. I make all the plans except idont execute.

All I know is I have a coworker with kids in 30s who has weight issues and swelling and now with knee issues looking at replacement. Idont want it to be me. With my kids.

How and where do I just at one point tell myself to not freeze and do it.

To not eat at night when exhausted .

To trust the process and start the journey.

If you made it this far thank you.

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