Monday, August 31, 2020

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For me

Hey everyone! I first started my weight loss journey July of last year. I have since lost 80 pounds! I still have probably at least 20 more to go until I’m at a “normal” weight. And for the first time in YEARS I’m at overweight instead of obese!

I lost weight by counting calories, IF and OMAD. I did some running in the beginning but I only seriously started exercising in January.

I’ve been maintaining since June at about 179 and today I decided I’m going to push myself to get back into becoming healthier. Originally I didn’t have a goal set, I just wanted to look better. I wanted to feel better. And I do, but I’m still not 100% comfortable with my body yet.

The reason I stopped losing weight is because my fiancé didn’t “approve” of it. I remember standing in the kitchen feeling so confident in a size 14 pair of jeans (that were slightly loose!) after being in a tight 18 for over a year when he told me I looked sick. It crushed me. Not once In a whole year did he compliment me on my weight loss. He only picked at me saying things like “you know I like bigger girls” “your butt used to be so much bigger” “you don’t look the same” “your thighs are too small” “you need to gain more weight”. I felt every single one of those insults. I stopped losing weight. I stopped eating healthily. I stopped caring. I thought maybe if I just stayed at that weight he’d come around.

But today, after finding out that he has been cheating on me (with bigger women actually) Today, I restart. For me. For my health, for my confidence. For me.

So here’s to day one, again.

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Don't rush and overcomplicate weight loss

I've been there. One day you suddenly see clearly everything for what it is. You don't exercise, you don't eat well, you're overweight and you're leading an unhealthy lifestyle. You panic. You decide that this is it. You need to change immediately. You throw out the junk food, you buy recipe books, you purchase a gym membership and you vow to never touch junkfood again.

All is going good until you've had a rough day two weeks later. You get home and order takeout. You wake up the next day feeling guilty but decide to move on. But today is not better than yesterday. So you eat your feelings away and decide that maybe you should take a break from all this dieting stuff. You have enough on your plate and planning everything takes so much effort. Not to mention food is the only thing that's bringing you joy right now. And I mean, you did last two full weeks, that's something! So you let yourself go.

A few months later you suddenly see everything clearly again. And rinse and repeat.

You've heard it over and over again but let me say it again. Weight loss should be sustainable. And preferably slow. You're not doing yourself a favor by shedding more than 2lbs a week.

I know fast results are what people want but they are not realistic and they raise chances of gaining the weight back. I know some people aim to lose the weight quickly and only then start building habits to maintain but that's very hard and odds are against them.

You need to make weightloss a way of life. Something you can do without thinking about and obsessing over. Something that's a part of your life but not the centre of it.

Small changes over time, moderation, some exercise and smart choices. That's all you need. It's not easy but it's simple.

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Afraid to go on the scale

The last time I checked the scale was so long ago I can't even remember. I have gained so much weight, that I have had to go back to the store buy clothes that could actually fit me, *many* times.

I have struggled weight loss with all my life, but it has been nothing like this.

What hurts the most is that a lot of this weight is weight I HAVE GAINED BACK!!!!!! Which makes me so unbelievably disappointed in myself, that I can't even express it. I started at 150lbs, and went down to 126lbs (I'm 5'3). The last time I had the courage to check the scale, I weighed in at 196lbs...

That was a long time ago... and now I'm scared. I had to go back to the store yet again for a bigger size, because the other big clothes I bought no longer fit me....

I can feel the weight on my body, and I hate it. It's uncomfortable. Even laying down, my fat rolls around my sides and my back, and it is painful. The stairs in my house now seem impossible. I'm tired doing even the most simple things....

I'm devastated, especially because I gained all my weight back... I feel lost. I feel like giving up. I'm afraid of looking at myself in the mirror, taking pictures, and stepping on the scale because I know I will hate what I see.

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As of September 1st 2020 I will begin my journey into weight loss

I’m 17M, 5’8, 198lbs and as off today I will begin my journey into losing weight. My target goal is to be 160lbs by the end of the year! That’s 121 days (just over 17 weeks) which means if I lose 2.2lbs a week I will achieve my goal! Of course it sounds easier than it actually will be but I believe in myself that I will be able to accomplish my goals and end this year well. I have set myself rules in this journey. I will do atleast 8k steps per day whether that be walking to and from college, or going for a walk/run. I will permit myself to 1 treat meal a week. As well as making sure I keep an average of losing 2lbs a week. I will cut out all of the junk food/fast food/sugary drinks in replacement for healthy lower calorie options. I’m sure this won’t be read by anyone but this is more as a way to document my progress week-by-week. I will be back next week to give an update if you’re interested 👍 good luck to everyone on this same journey 🤜 we can do this together...

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Getting used to: Being Full ≠ Being Fat

SW: 220lbs CW: 200lbs GW: 150lbs

I’m grateful for this community. So many of you have inspired my journey and I’m down 20lbs from July 7th to now thanks to a new nutrition and exercise routine.

However, it’s amazing to see my body adapt to food and movement but my mind struggles with old patterns of negativity.

This is the first time I’m on a holistic journey - weight loss and exercise all these years has meant either being fatigued or famished and people telling me it’s “normal.”

So now when I feel full after an extremely clean and balanced meal, I have to hold my hand to my heart and have gratitude because the phrase “oh I ate so much, I feel fat,” arrives so effortlessly.

Over the past few days, I’ve eaten within my calorie limit but took a break from eating clean and I spent all day thinking I was definitely 210lbs with all the carb/water weight etc. and after a hearty meal, stood on the scale “just to check” and I was 202 lbs.

Again, in that moment - I had to practice kindness, not belittle myself, call myself silly etc but calmly tell myself, this has to get better. My relationship with the self, food and my mind is what’s equally important, if not more.

So just a random rant out there - to anyone who may be struggling in their hearts and minds like me.

Please continue to Feel full. Feel whole. Feel loved.

❤️

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Your fitness journey should be for you and nobody else

Hi everyone. I started my weight loss/fitness journey in December 2019. I’ve made some really good progress on a pretty large goal.

I am 38% of the way through and feel better than ever. Im not ready to disclose the details yet but 38% is still more than most.

I’m the best shape I’ve been in five years and the changes I made have done a total 180 on my life. My chronic condition is healing and everyday I get better and healthier.

Some days are easy and other days (especially closer to my TOM, I wanna swim in chocolate). But still, I keep my eye on the prize and the mental will power requires strength.

But right now all I feel is defeated and triggered. I was talking to my mom as I prepared dinner and she made a comment about the amount of work I still need to put into my abdomen area. She might as well have punched me there because that’s how her words hit me.

I felt like all my progress was still not good enough. I was taken back to my high school years when I was physically in great shape but wasn’t stick thin and she made me feel awful about it. It was those years where I felt no matter how healthy and great I was feeling, I was fat and ugly. When you’re a naive girl in high school who is told from every angle she needs to be beautiful, you develop a cute little condition of body dysmorphia. No matter how good you look or feel, you’re ugly and fat. It’s like being gaslit about your body.

And her one comment brought all those years of torment back. It was those years of torment that made me stop caring for me to then lose control of my health and now I have years of damage to undo.

Side note: she is overall a great mom that loves me a lot and would go to the ends of the earth for me. She’s been really proud of my progress and praises me more than she messes up. She was raised in a similar toxic background but it would be unfair of me to not include the loving side of her. She’s very selfless and very affectionate and has become a better mother over time. But still... I can’t ignore the impact this has on me.

Anyways, I won’t be eating dinner tonight.

Just needed to vent. Please don’t trash my mom. I think when I am emotionally stable, I’ll let her know how her comment impacted me and I think she will take that feedback to heart.

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