Friday, September 19, 2025

Harder to lose weight in your 30s?

I'm 35 and I've lost 4kg in 6 months (85kg->81kg) but I'm pretty sure that when I put in a similar amount of effort in my early 20s I lost weight so much faster 😭

I don't know if it's my age or maybe I'm making a mistake and eating a lot more calories than I think I am.

I don't calorie count and I do tend to go for a "high activity, relatively high calories" approach to weight loss*, maybe that doesn't work as well as you get older as it does in your teens/20s..

*(10+ hours of physical activity a day, I'm a concreter and do a lot of sports, although I definitely believe diet is the most important)

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TTC and weight loss? (Weight loss/maintenance while pregnant?)

F/32/188lbs, 5'5

I worked crazy hard to lose weight to get back to a healthy weight, in about a year, I gained 38lbs back. Obviously, I take accountability for that.

My partner and I have decided to start trying to have a baby. I kept saying "once I lose 10lbs" when I was at my goal so I could have pregnancy wiggle room...then I started gaining. Now I have to lose 38 just to get back to a healthy normal. I had some personal issues going on and struggled with pain, had a depression flare up and then I blew it by losing gym motivation.

I know this is person dependent, but I'm worried that as I get back into weight loss/management, I'm going to end up back here. It makes me feel even more discouraged.

No one ever seems to mention this because it seems to be taboo, but is it possible to lose weight/maintain even if/when I do get pregnant? Nothing crazy, I'd just like to stay within a normal weight range and not continue down this path.

Has anyone here managed that under doctor guidance/nutritionist?.

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Accidentally put my husband's work pants on today-

-and they fit!!! We are both blue collar workers. I've had this pair of gray Carhartt pants that my Mom bought me for Christmas 8 years ago sitting in my closet since I opened them. I told her the size I thought I was then, but they were too small and I was too embarrassed to say anything. Anybody who buys work pants knows they aren't cheap, and I couldn't part with them because I felt so guilty about them not fitting. My weight has fluxuated drastically for the past 10 years. I'm 5'3 and typically more muscular, but in January 2024 I was 203 lbs (I doubt that was my peak weight either, I figured if I didn't look at the scale then it wasn't a problem). I was 180lbs in May and I randomly woke up one day and decided I was done being obese. I researched, started CICO, started moving more and going to the gym to build my muscle mass back up. I'm 156lbs right now, with a goal of 140lbs.

So. This morning I went to try and put on what I thought were MY 36x32 gray Carhartt pants only to find that they were actually my husband's 34x34 Carhartt pants. I realized something was amiss when I had a foot of extra pantleg. Then I realized what they were. And I have been tickled pink about it all day. I thought putting on my own pants would make me feel good, but accidentally putting on an even smaller pair of pants and finding they fit is just 😗👌My husband noticed right away and was like "Hey, aren't those mine? Hey, wait! Those ARE mine!!" and gave me a high five.

I have had a hard time seeing my weight loss, but this tells me OBVIOUSLY I have lost the weight. So I'm celebrating this not so small victory today. Thanks for reading, I hope you also discover an amazing non-scale victory today!!

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Determining what clothes I'll fit into after weight loss (weird question, more details inside!)

Hello everyone!

I'm doing a deep, DEEP purge of my clothes, which means I've run into a dilemma. I have stuff that fits, and I have stuff that doesn't... but I'm not quite sure what will fit me when I lose a bit of weight versus what's stuff that's just realistically never going to fit me anymore. I have ADHD so my "bins of old clothes" collection doesn't just include stuff I know for sure that I could wear when I was a bit lighter, it also includes things I last wore almost a decade ago, gifts from friends that might've never quite fit me right but I kept because of sentiment, or things that I bought in the wrong size and forgot to return. This is the stuff I'm worried about.

Is there a semi-reliably way to gauge what's "try again in a few months" versus "yep, kiss that baby goodbye and set it free?" Should I measure waistline, measure bosom, do something else? I can always wait and just keep EVERYTHING to try when I'm done with weight loss, but I'd really like to purge doomed stuff now if I can, haha. Thanks!

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Thursday, September 18, 2025

How can I count calories in a healthy way

I’ve had a very toxic relationship with food throughout my life. I started yo-yo dieting when I was 10, and it didn’t stop until a couple years ago. I’m 22 now, and I recently gained a lot of weight from a medication I was on. Now that I’m off that medication, I’m ready to start losing weight for real this time. I have a habit of saying that I’m going to lose weight, then not actually losing it because I snack too much or because I don’t count calories. Counting calories is going to be a crucial part of this, and I’m wondering if I can do it in a way that isn’t toxic.

My struggle right now is when I’m trying to restrict to fit within my calorie intake, it feels like a slippery slope. I don’t want to think of food as a trade off, where I can eat a treat or snack only if I sacrifice part of my meal. My maximum isn’t too low, so increasing it won’t work. I need to kick start my weight loss.

Also, once I’m maintaining my weight, I’d like to be able to eat intuitively. I don’t have a big appetite naturally, but I’m worried I’ll gain weight just by indulging in high calorie treats sometimes. Or what if eating out at a restaurant makes me gain weight when I’m done. I don’t want to live a life where I have to constantly think about what I eat.

What do you guys think?

Edit: forgot to add that I like to drink every once in a while recreationally. Would it ruin my maintenance if I had like 600 calories in drinks every couple weeks.

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Current weight loss has been much more successful. My thoughts below

In the past, I've tried to lose weight, but have usually leveled out around 180 lbs, then stagnated. My current goal weight is somewhere in the range of 165-170 or so. Since January, I've gone from a max weight of 194 (though averaging around 192), down to my current weight of 171.6 (averaging around ~172 currently).

I wanted to share what's made things more successful now, versus in the past.

1.) Being strict about socializing with friends during the diet A lot of weight loss strategies talk about the importance of being flexible, and also not going too hardcore. This is good advice, but I found that in the times where I was plateauing, I was being a little bit too loose with things - I'd give in to the temptation and go out with friends and eat, then when I got home, I'd tell myself, "Screw it, I haven't tracked anything, so I'll just snack on whatever."

A couple things helped with this problem for me: Being more strict about what I do when I hang out with friends. A weight loss diet is temporary, and in the period where I was committed to losing weight, I wanted to make sure I was actually sticking to it. If I did hang out with friends, I'd try to do something involving walking at a park, rather than going out to eat or drink.

Sometimes I would also let my friends know that I was taking a socializing break for a week or two (I'm also an introvert at heart, which helps), so I could just really focus on my deit and not eat out.

2.) Tracking food even when I eat out But I also decided enough was enough, and bought a folding food scale. My friends kind of teased me, but it only strengthened my resolve to be a complete hard ass about my diet. I would separate out my ingredients at restaurants and weigh them so I could at least have some general estimate of how many calories and how much protein I was intaking.

Even if it wasn't accurate, what this did is it put me in the mindset that I would continue to track what I ate the rest of the day - instead of spiraling into a binge where I just said "screw it."

Finally, when I was tempted to eat out or order in, I would at least do it from a restaurant that I knew listed their nutrition information. I've developed a list of some healthy go-to places for when I'm busy and don't have time to cook, or just being lazy and financially irresponsible, lol.

3.) Walking a ton I was already lifting weights, which should be a part of any weight loss plan IMO. But I ramped up my steps the further I got into my diet. First it was around 7,000-10,000 steps. Then over 10,000. Now, I strive for 15,000+ steps (though I don't always get that). I've noticed this helps me lose weight at a decent rate even when I've been a little less strict about my calories (albeit still in a deficit).


I've gotten down to a physique where you can just barely see my abs when I'm relaxed. I still want to try to get leaner (partly just to see how lean I can get, but partly because I want to do a lean bulk through the winter without losing too much progress and gaining too much fat). But so far this has been the most successful and sustainable diet I've done.

Hope this helps someone out there!

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what made this attempt different from all my failed diets

This is probably my 15th serious weight loss attempt over the past decade. Every other time I'd lose 20-30 pounds then slowly gain it all back when willpower ran out. This time I didn't start with food restriction at all. Just began tracking my water intake with waterminder because I kept getting afternoon headaches and figured dehydration might be involved. Weird thing is fixing my hydration made me naturally want to eat better without forcing it. When I'm not constantly thirsty disguised as hungry, I make better food choices and eat appropriate portions. Lost 28 pounds so far and it feels completely sustainable because I'm not fighting against my body's confused signals anymore. My appetite is predictable and reasonable when I'm properly hydrated. The key difference this time was starting with biology instead of willpower. Fixed the foundation first and everything else followed naturally.

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