I've lost a bunch of weight over the last year or so, mostly unintentionally. I wanted to lose weight I guess, but it wasn't something I was actively working towards. I've struggled with my weight since childhood, with pretty large fluctuations every few years between dieting and binging, and have historically had horrible self-image. When I reached my heaviest at 240lbs a few years ago, I didn't feel great about my weight but it also... wasn't the worst? I had finally found at least a little peace with accepting myself after years of work.
Long story not short, I travelled to several countries over the last year volunteering on various farms, and for the first time in my life, the weight just...disappeared. I was doing physical labor all day in extreme weather conditions, and I was eating what the farms gave me to eat. It took so much of the decision process out of the mix. I've never unintentionally lost weight before, and it was bizarre to experience my body disappearing without me actually working towards that.
So, I'm back home now, and have no idea what size clothing I wear because I've just been altering my old clothes with sewing machines as I've had access to them. I've been trying really hard to not pay attention to a scale, but found out at a doctor's appointment that I'm around 170 lbs now. I do need some new overalls though, and went to a store today to try on some various sizes since I had no idea where to start. A store associate came over to me and asked me what size I was looking for, and I briefly told her I had no idea because I had recently lost quite a bit of weight. She immediately gave me a huge grin and told me "Congratulations!" It felt incredibly weird to have a stranger so legitimately want to celebrate a change in my own body, with no knowledge of whether I had worked towards it, had lost weight due to an illness, nothing.
I also insisted to her that I must be at least a size large, because I used to be a 2X in that brand. She convinced me to also take a medium with me to the fitting rooms. I was sure just by looking at it that it wouldn't fit, but I did it to end the interaction because I was uncomfortable. Well... the medium fit. The large was significantly too large. I still can't quite wrap my brain around that. When I look at the overalls on a hanger compared to my looking at my body in the mirror, I still feel like I still look too large for it to fit (body dysmorphia is a thing I struggle with fwiw). I've never fit into a medium ANYTHING as an adult, and I'm 37 now. That's never been in my version of reality.
I guess I don't know what this post is about, except to ramble about how bizarre the post-weight loss experience is.
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/u/tallerhoffer
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/dj0kRnt
