SV- Couldn't believe it when the sales said I was 400g from weighing 100kg but now I'm halfway to my 30kg goal! 99.6kg (219.6lbs) to 84.6kg (186.5lbs). Sharing my progress pic to keep myself motivated!

Progress pic

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So today marks the halfway point for my initial goal of a 30kg loss, things have been slowing down a lot so I thought I'd post this to remind myself of how far I've come. Warning: wall of text below...

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Almost a decade ago I was diagnosed with an autoimmune thyroid disease (Hashimoto's) where my body slowly kills my thyroid glad. Although since then my blood tests have shown that my thyroid levels are still normal, doctors can't figure out why I'm constantly incredibly fatigued and find losing weight to be difficult. Over those ten years I've gained and dropped weight so many times, with my last up and down being from 85kg to 65kg in 2016/17. Since then I've known that I've steadily gained weight and a few times attempted to lose it but never really went all out.

Skip to August 2018, I went to see my endocrinologist as this year has been really tough with my fatigue. I'm doing my PhD at the moment but I've been falling behind because some days I was struggling to get out of bed. My endo asked me to step on the scales and I almost cried when I saw 99.6kg flashing back at me. 400 grams away from 100kg... My endo said that the extra weight is definitely not helping me with my fatigue and I really need to lose it for them to determine if there is a different underlying cause. I really think this was the big push I need.

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My partner has been on board with it all which is super helpful and is dieting along with me. I don't calorie count but usually do a 16-8 intermittent fast with a low calorie dinner. We've also cut out all weeknight drinking and try to limit how much (if any) we have on the weekends. I really want to make the effort to change my lifestyle completely, so if I want to have a burger or splurge a bit on the weekends, I will.

I started personal training and managed to find the best PT for me. He makes exercise really interesting and I genuinely look forward to our Wednesday mornings. He started out with a weights program for me to do in my own time but I wasn't very motivated to do it and found myself skipping the gym a fair amount. We spoke about it and I told him about how I've really enjoyed boxing in the past and like the technical side of it rather than the 'fitbox' style. He used to be a pro boxer and started to incorporate this into our PT, eventually making me a program that has 30mins of boxing, followed by 30mins of weights which I do by myself twice a week. I wouldn't say I look forward to my solo gym sessions but I also don't dread it like I used to, it's now just a part of my daily routine!

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Some things I've found particularly useful on my journey so far:

- Waking up at 6.30am, making a coffee and catching up on news (or more likely, Reddit) for a bit before getting ready or going to the gym. For some 6.30am might be late, but for me this is really early. Sometimes my fatigue makes this hard but I'm always so thankful I do this. Starting my day off in a slow-paced, relaxed manner has made the rest of the day seem so much more achievable. Gotta go to the gym and feeling tired? That's cool, you've got 20 minutes to chill out before you've gotta go smash it.

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- Reminding myself that something is better than nothing. Some mornings the gym is such a struggle, I feel weak and tired which can lead me into a negative mindset of believing that this gym session is going to ruin my progress. When this happens I try to stop and remember that I got out of bed, put on my gym gear, got to the gym and I'm now exercising. This is 100x better than old me. This is progress. Sure, it might not be my best gym session but it's better than lying in bed feeling sorry for myself.

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- Trying to make this a lifestyle change rather than a diet. I'm not going to lie, I am terrified of reaching my goal and letting the weight come back like I've done countless times before. This really really worries me. I don't want that to become a reality so I'm trying to make this a long-term sustainable change. Sure I wanna lose all the weight as fast as I can but there isn't actually a deadline. If taking a weekend off and eating what I want means that I'll create a lifestyle I can maintain forever then I'll take that over reaching my goal weight really quick but failing at staying that weight.

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In case you're wondering, so far the weight loss hasn't helped much with my fatigue. My endo wants me to get to the 30kg loss and then re-evaluate but I think I'll bring it up again at our appointment next week. Bit of a bummer but hey, I'm bloody proud of my accomplishments given I feel like I could fall asleep at any moment.

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I was asked why I still have a lot of weight to lose

And holy crap, does it have me feeling inadequate. Happened right here on this sub, believe it or not.

I posted last night about how it's hard for me to get back on the wagon after I've eaten something unhealthy. A few hours ago, someone commented and we went back and forth about semantics and what it means to "fail." I was asked "If you haven't failed, why do you still have a substantial amount of weight to lose?"

It's taken me forever to learn to be patient and accept that healthy weight loss takes time. For the first couple of months, it always felt like I was racing against an invisible clock, and I fought like hell to break that mentality. And once I did, it felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I felt like I could actually embrace the journey for what it was, with all the difficulties and triumphs that came with it.

But just that one question has honestly ruined my night. I can't stop criticizing and asking myself why I've only lost 38 pounds instead of 45 or 50? I keep comparing myself to progress pics to see how long it took other people to lose the same amount of weight I have so far. And instead of looking at myself in the mirror after my shower tonight feeling proud of how far I've come and liking what I saw, I just felt disappointed to see how fat I still am and was overwhelmed to know how much farther I have to go until I meet my ultimate goal. It all feels like I'm racing against that invisible clock again. I'm back to wondering what I can do to speed up my progress and wondering if I should try keto to kick things up a notch.

Not to be dramatic, but this is the most helpless I've felt since May, and it sucks to realize just how easily someone's words can impact the way I view myself. It's embarrassing.

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I lost the weight but now my hair is suffering horribly. I don’t know if I am being unrealistic in assuming this is from my weight loss.

I am 24 F, I’m 5’0. My current weight is 105lbs, and my starting was 150lbs. My weight loss started in April 2017. I also went vegan.

This past July 2018, I noticed how thin my hair had gotten. It’s not falling out in clumps, but it sheds an excessive amount anytime I brush it, wash, run my hands through it, etc. Pinpointing with pictures when the thinning began is difficult, I don’t have many to reference with because I don’t like my photo taken. I can definitely see though that in the photos I took the day I started my weight loss journey that my hair looks MUCH fuller. I can also see in some other photos taken late 2017 that it does start to look a bit thin, but nothing too terrible. I also remember around this time in late 2017 thinking how about thin my ponytail was getting, but I guess it wasn’t enough to make me too concerned. Now I don’t even wear my hair in a ponytail because of how thin it is..I have about half the hair I used to now, and I don’t really see it growing back in.

A quick breakdown of my weight loss:

April 2017: 150lbs

July 2017: 125lbs

November 2017: 115lbs

February 2018: 108lbs

February 2018 - Today: Bouncing around between 105-109. Currently 105 again.

One major thing is I have been very bad with is not paying attention to macros, and focusing more so on calories. Because of this, I believe I may have been lacking protein from also going vegan. I estimate on average I was probably hitting ~20-25g. I don’t know if this is enough to prevent hair from growing back in. I have since been striving to hit ~40g a day.

I have had blood tests ran. Thyroid and hormones seem fine. Only vitamin D was deficient but I have been taking a supplement now for 3 months. B12 and iron levels are fine.

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440lbs...I need to LOSEIT.

I dunno what i'm trying to relate through this message.

Without being doxxed, I have had a completely crazy past few years. In 2011, I lost 110lbs in 6 months and was following the keto diet. I had women I found attractive suddenly getting to know me (as well as getting laid left and right) while enjoying my newfound energy and confidence.

In 2012, I got into a fight with multiple coworkers at work (unrelated to all this) and in December, I parted ways. I was scared, lost and confused, but realized I couldn't work with these people ever again. I had a girlfriend I had started dating a few months before, and she was very supportive through that time. January 13, I started a county government job. things were going great.

Throughout 2013, me and the girlfriend were having struggles. I started zoloft in March, and in October, I was released from 1 year probation and was workless again. 2 weeks later, mid October, my girlfriend called it quits. This setup my decline into the worst period of my life. I was depressed, sad and unable to form thoughts of how I wanted to live my life from that point forward.

I returned to my food addiction, eating thousands of calories and ballooning back to 450ish pounds. I was depressed and wasn't realizing it at the time.

February 2014, my life continued to change. In what I feel was an unfair trial, a brother of mine killed someone in a car accident and was charged with 2nd degree murder for it...even though the accident was caused by a medical condition.

Just like that, 2014 became the year I lost myself. Food, alcohol binges, constant fights with loved ones and trying to find validation in anything and everything. 2015 became a year of a tried (and failed) rebirth, as I tried to remove myself from negative aspects of life and form health habits. I was becoming friends with someone I didn't realize I was getting to close to, as she was to me. We moved in together in 2016. I found some stability in a job, but my freakouts were too much for her...I moved out and back with my parents at the end of the year. We stopped talking in 2017 and I had nobody close to rely on. In July, I attempted suicide and was 51/50 for a few days.

That brought on the biggest change of my life. I was diagnosed with BPD, Bipolar II, PTSD, OCD and eating disorder. I began a medication and therapy treatment that continues to this day. in December of last year, I once again attempted. Through unexpected connections, I ended up moving back in with this woman, who had now gotten a boyfriend. I was alone, but not really. We were still good friends and I slowly lost interest in any relationship except the friendship that we had. I think most of those problems were tied to my mental issues. our roommate situation leveled out, and although we are great friends, I moved out due to housing issues in June and only recently came back into the household after the housing issue wasn't an issue anymore.

2018 now, and I am pushing 440lbs again. I am in a completely different place mentally than I was in previous years before. I treated the symptoms of my issues (the weight) without treating the underlying causes. Now, I was finally making breakthroughs to the problems underneath. I am about 3 months out since the last suicidal ideations. I have a stable job again, with decent benefits and make shit money, but at least I am stable. I now live with someone who has become my best friend and I couldn't imagine life without her. I have been dating as well, although nothing has panned out.

With the work I am making on myself, my therapist has been happy to see my progress. She is happy I am opening up myself again to dating, as well as working on my mental health issues. I take medications religiously now, and overall feel about 70% better than I did in 2014.

Now, I want the weight gone! 440lbs is not a weight I ever envisioned myself to be at, let alone for what probably has been a decade. I have trouble walking, breathing, stooping... I have sexual problems which are probably the most embarrassing. Hygiene is a key issue and I take multiple baths a day because I feel I stink.

In the past, every time I attempted any form of weight loss regiment, workout regiment, I simply gave up. I don't know why I gave up. Life...depression...self deprication, I know these are all things that have made me hang up the gloves before.

Now, I want to try again. I want to survive. I want to prevail. I loved Keto and hope to try a variation of it, but I find constant motivation to be an issue. My disease makes me feel alone to the world and unimportant, so it is hard to come out of that mindframe when I'm in one of those self spiraling episodes. Every day I wake up and look in the mirror. I am disgusted beyond words at what I see. It becomes the seed that germinates in my mind about how worthless I am and how I'm a lost cause. It takes willpower and focus to even get out of that mindframe.

But I want to change. I want to tie my own shoes without being winded...or put on my socks while standing up. I want my clothes to fit well. I want to be sure wiping my ass isn't a 20 minute ordeal. I want to ride a rollercoaster, and have walks through forests and national parks. I want to travel in an airplane without worrying about my seat or the people sitting next to me. I want to experience the real world without my weight limiting what I can and can't do.

I don't know what to expect from the future. Part of me tells me I will die by suicide sometime in my future. Another part tells me it doesn't have to happen. At 440lbs, I feel like I'm not living anyways.

Lose it...I don't know where to begin to even start a healthy weighloss and workout regimen I can follow and not discourage myself. In the past year I have cutout all soda from my life and I try to stay away from fast food too. Somehow I don't feel it is enough. When I am sad, I get lost in it, and say "fuck the world" to everything. It is so discouraging and without weight loss in my future, I feel death is the only thing I can welcome that is certain.

help me lose it. I don't know where to begin.

Sorry for the wordvomit. I hurt so much inside, I feel I needed to get that out. is there still hope for me?

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Having a Hard Time With Calorie Restriction

Hi all! Longtime lurker but first time poster here. I’ve wanted to rekindle my weight loss journey and the first thing I need to do is change the way I eat. I’ve heard some success restricting calories before but never long term. I am a fairly small girl (5’1) and have a relatively low tdee/bmr so finding three square meals and snacks that fit into that is hard and I’m hoping you guys might have ideas.

My tdee is ~1800 and my bmr is ~1500. Right now I am 30 years old, 5’1 and weigh 190 pounds. I track everything using my fitness pal.

I’ve aimed for 1200 calories a day before and it was hard. This time I’m aiming for 1300-1400 but am still having trouble achieving that. My boyfriend and I subscribe to a dinner kit delivery service that ships us farm to table ingredients with recipes for fresh home cooked meals that we eat for dinner. Most dinners are around 750 calories (they provide a detailed macro/nutritional breakdown) so already half my day. I also started taking it for lunch too but recently stopped because i was only eating lunch and dinner and everything else was over on my calories.

I’m having trouble coming up with breakfasts, snacks, and lunches that fit in with this. I also plan to start working out more often, starting slowly with 30 mins 3 times a week. I am very out of shape and have had a sedentary job for 5 or 6 years.

I know I’m facing a lot of challenges but I’m very motivated! What can I do to eat within my caloric limits? Is this too few calories for me right now? Should I cut the dinner service or just limit my portion of it?

Thank you so much in advance!

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I've officially lost 40lbs for my surgery!

To quickly introduce myself, I'm an 18 year old female; I'm 5'9; my start weight was 273 and I am now 230. I also have a genetic disorder (ehlers-danlos syndrome) that results in frequent dislocations of my joints.

This summer, after +25 dislocations of my left kneecap, my medical team and I decided it was necessary to reconstruct my MPFL with cadaver tissue. I saw my surgeon in July to go over the game plan for surgery and we decided to do it in January of 2019, while I was on break from school. My surgeon also had a brutally honest conversation with me about my weight at that point. He explained to me how complications for surgery were much more likely because I was obese, and I was already at risk for increased complications from my genetic disorder.

I have had this same conversation with so many doctors over the years. My neurologist, my cardiologist, my geneticist, my pcp, and so many more. Always telling me that my excessive weight is adding extra strain onto my joints, extra strain that they can't handle. It turns out the reality check I needed was surgery. I am scared shitless of surgery. And while I would still need this surgery if I had been skinny my entire life, being obese will make my recovery much more difficult.

My goal is to lose another 15lbs before surgery in January. After surgery, I'll be eating cleanly at maintenance/very slight deficit for a couple months to insure that my body has proper nutrition and strength to heal (at my PCP's recommendation). But I don't anticipate on stopping my weight loss journey anytime soon. Even just losing 40lbs has made significant improvement in my day to day pain levels and my self confidence.

I'm going to see my surgeon next week to get the last details for surgery ironed out. He hasn't seen me since I started losing weight and I know he's going to be really proud of me. I'm proud of myself for finally taking control of my health.

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I'm starting today.

 Ok everyone I'm starting my weight loss journey today. I have about 100lbs to lose. I've done it before years ago but stress, depression and emotional eating has gotten in my way. I'm 5'8 F 260 lbs. 

Also, obesity runs in my family so I'm working on beating genetics and being healthier for my son. I want to use food to live/enjoy not boredom/comfort. My plan is to restrict calories/portion control (not ridiculously) and start exercising 3 times a week eventually working my way to 5. I've had an unhealthy relationship with food where I would literally not eat due to stress, my metabolism slowed and I would feel sick then binge eat. I'm trying to accept that food is not the enemy. I'm not necessarily cutting out any food just paying close attention and logging everything. Any advice or tips about food, exercise, anxiety/stress would be appreciated. I'm also trying to get back into yoga that I really enjoyed for my lower back pain and really giving meditation a try. Thanks everyone. All these posts have been inspiring and I'm not putting it off anymore.

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