Why am I like this?

I've basically been on my weight loss journey most of my life.

Looking back to when I first thought I was fat is heartbreaking, because I was 9 years old. I always had such thin friends, and I hit puberty pretty early, so my curves made me insecure. I have felt uncomfortable in my body for as long as I can remember.

I have been working out from home for the last 15ish years. I have this pattern... I'll get very into my new health routine, I'll lose weight/build muscle. Then something will happen - I'll complete a workout program, or go on vacation, or get sick/injured... Doesn't matter what it is that happens, the result is always the same. I'll just stop everything.

I truly can't think of a single reason why I continue to self sabotage. (I've heard of people subconsciously sabotaging because they were once SA'd and don't want to attract attention in case this occurs again, or they subconsciously gain weight to spite a parent who cares too much about appearances... Etc.) I have never had anything like this happen, so I'm even more frustrated because I don't know what the mental block is, but I know one must exist, because WHY?

I'm trying to get back on the horse this week, but I'm just so frustrated and feeling defeated. This is such an unhealthy way to live, but I don't know how to overcome this weird mental obstacle.

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★OFFICIAL WEEKLY★ Tantrum Tuesday: Share your complaints, vents and gripes July 29, 2025

I Rant, Therefore I Am

​Well bla-de-da-da! What's making your blood boil? What's under your skin? What's making you see red? What's up in your craw? Let's hear your weight loss related rants!

Please consider saving your next rant for this weekly thread every Tuesday.

Due to space limitations, this may be a sticky only occasionally. Please find it using the sidebar if needed.

Don't forget to comment and interact with other posters here, let's keep the good vibes going!

Daily Threads

• US Accountability Challenge: Stay accountable with friends from North America.
• EU Accountability Challenge: Stay accountable with friends from the EU.
• Daily Q&A Thread: Post your questions, receive answers.
• SV/NSV Feats of the Day: Share your scale victories and non-scale victories.

Weekly Threads

• Day 1 Monday: Introduce yourself and share your goals and strategies.
• Tantrum Tuesday: Share your complaints, vents and gripes.
• Weigh-In Wednesday: Share your weigh-in progress and graphs.
• Track with Me Thursday: Make new friends and find accountability buddies.
• Foodie Friday: Share your favorite recipes and meal pics.
• Century Club: For those who have lost or would like to lose 100lb+.

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Question About Movement

I’m a 62-year-old female that currently weighs about 288 with a goal weight of 150. I’m down from my all-time high of 380 (really? Did I used to weigh that?! It’s been 4-5 years or more since then.) I’m not even really sure how I lost it after years of being on every diet ever!

I’ve gained and lost tons of weight over the years, but have not done well maintaining any significant weight loss except this most recent amount. I was 20 pounds lighter, but then I went through a phase where I just started eating like a fool. I gained this 20# and it will not budge!

Here’s my question, how do people pass the time from roughly 7 pm until they go to bed? All I want to do is sit around and watch TV (I do get up and walk a few minutes every hour). Or do people just go to bed really early? I know sleep is a big component of weight loss . . .

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What’s something you stopped doing that actually helped you lose weight?

Most weight loss tips are about what you should start doing — eating clean, exercising, tracking macros, etc. But I’ve been wondering... what about the stuff you stopped doing?

Like maybe you stopped obsessing over the scale, or stopped skipping breakfast, or stopped doing super intense workouts you hated.

Sometimes the biggest progress comes from letting go of stuff that wasn’t working or was stressing you out.

So I’m curious, for those of you who’ve lost weight (or are still on the journey), what’s something you stopped doing that made a real difference?

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17lbs in 1.5 months

Hey, just wanted to share something with someone!
I started this weight loss journey at 183 lbs on June 9th, and I just weighed in at 166 lbs, down 17 lbs! 🎉

At first, I wasn’t super consistent with my calorie deficit. From June 9–22, I was kind of winging it eating too little during the day (maybe 1000 calories and 60g of protein), and then ending up starving at night and binging on like 4 vegan Insomnia cookies... which probably added 1200+ calories. Not ideal.

But starting June 22, I got serious:

• I began tracking my calories daily (aiming for 1200–1400 max).
• I make sure to hit 90–100g of protein a day.
• I joined a boxing gym and go 4–5 times a week to their conditioning/cardio classes (~425 calories burned per class according to my Apple Watch).
• Two weeks ago, I added their strength training class 3x a week after my M/W/Sun cardio sessions.
• In July, I also cut down on carbs, only having them once a week (1–2 cups rice or 4 corn tortillas max).

To help with cravings, I swapped the cookies for things like Toto protein cookies, Aloha PB Cup bars, and protein anabolic ice cream, total game changers for my sweet tooth!

I've kind of been in hermit mode during all this. A big part of that is because being around certain friends tends to throw me off. For example, my friend who's on Ozempic and his cousin back when I was doing 75 Hard, they’d say things like “live a little” whenever I passed on pizza or drinking. They made me feel like I was being too hard on myself for trying to make healthier choices. Meanwhile, I never judged them for not finishing their food or for how they were managing their own health stuff. Even when they looked a little slimmer or anything, I would compliment their hard work and never tried to sabotage/make them slack their goals.

His cousin especially would comment on people’s weight like actors on TV or even mutual friends who gained weight and that just started to really bother me. It made me feel like I couldn’t focus on my own goals without being lowkey judged or guilted. It also made me think they were secretly commenting on my weight gain too.

So yeah, that’s part of why I pulled away and went into hermit mode. I just wanted to focus without the pressure or commentary. Now that I’ve seen them again recently, I’m re-evaluating those friendships a bit. Even though friends/ colleagues at work, some other friends and at people the gym noticed the change and my clothes are definitely looser those friends didn’t say anything at all. Not that I need constant validation, but it definitely made me reflect on how supported I actually feel around them. Sorry for the rant but I just wanted to tell someone.

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Struggling Mentally After a Long Weight Loss Journey

So in March 2023 I got sick (Covid, I think but it wasn't serious. It affected my appetite and I felt like I probably lost weight so ran with it), on the day I first weighed myself I was at 165.6kg at 183cm. My goal weight was originally 90kg, the lightest I've been on this journey was 84.7kg a couple of weeks ago. Today I'm sitting at 86.9kg because my weight has been creeping up lately and I'm not sure why. I've been obsessing lately with scaled weight and it's really affecting my mood and it seems to completely ruin my day when it's showing higher yet I barely care if it goes lower because I feel I should be doing more. People tell me a lot that I can't have much more to lose and that I'm going to be too thin but I still look at my gut and see fat (even though I know a good portion of it is loose skin). Navy body fat calculations have me at 19.6% BF and an expensive BIA scale had me at 16.8% the other week but I'm still struggling to be happy and accept myself and I'm not sure if I ever will. I've decided to take a break from calorie counting this week in the hopes that two things happen. Firstly that my body resets itself and that I can try and stop obsessing and spiralling mentally.

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starting my journey

pls take down if not allowed!

im new to my weightloss journey and looking for beginner tips and tricks. im 23 y/o female. im currently about 230 lbs and 5’4. about four years ago, i was closer to 140 lbs and hoping to get back down to that weight. I’ve gained a lot due to bad eating habits and stress. if anyone who is in or has been in similar shape- please drop your beginner tips below! I’m trying to be patient with my weight loss journey so i understand results aren’t immediate

ive been going on walks at night (about 2-2.5 miles a night) and trying to drink more water. im open to any advice and suggestions :) thank you in advance

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