I just started working out and eating healthy so I can have a surgery to remove my ovaries in six months.

I have a predisposition to ovarian cancer, so my endocrinologist and my gynaecologist recommended to Lose weight and remove them as soon as possible otherwise I won’t be able to do the surgery. Unfortunately I am 40kgs overweight since my first broke up two years ago due to depression.

I am 23yo right now and 170cms tall.

My goal is to lose 2kgs a week so I can lose all 4 in about 6 months. Last 2 months I was already working out but it was just so I could handle the weight loss training without injuries.

My diet is minimum 800 calories minimum per day + what I can get if I can handle 30min+ bicycling that day.
Before I ate anything I wanted and probably around 2000 calories a day, which would be okay if I weren’t fat already or pretty much worked from home.

I log everything I eat and do on MyFitnessPal.

I am going to the gym every morning but Sunday because it’s closed.

Yesterday I fell off an old chair and cut my left leg as a piece of the chair was stuck on it. I basically cry everyday because it’s so hard working out. And because my leg hurts so much I can barely walk. (Have been Uber riding 700m to the gym everyday)

Props to my girlfriend who wakes me up with a warm coffee every day. She helps me taking care of my meals and exercises, and helps me walking up the stairs and around the house. She always liked to work out so she is going together to help me through these next 6 months ahead and beyond.

I hope that at the end I will be able to maintain a healthy life style. I just wrote this because I wanted to share with someone else, even if nobody is going to ready it.

PS: I MISS CHOCOLATE SO SO MUCH.

Give me any tips you guys have if possible. Any help is a big help.

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I feel broken. I wish I was raised to have healthy eating habits in the first place, like everybody else.

I don't understand how the vast majority of humanity just instinctively knows how to eat just the right amount of food. None of my thin friends need to weigh things out, make sure they eat only one serving, or give themselves "cheat days" because they know they can't help but eat a whole sheet of brownies in one sitting (most people don't even want more than one or two - my defective brain wants so many that it makes me puke). They just know how to eat like normal human beings. None of them have ever thought about their eating habits. I think that's what people mean when they say that some people "don't even have to try". Of course they're doing something, and their bodies aren't producing a healthy result with no healthy input. But for them, this behavior is just a natural part of existence.

For me, it's a lot more complicated. I'm about 10 lbs overweight, down from being close to 100 lbs overweight. Every day is a struggle. I have eaten at or slightly over maintenance for the past week and I hate myself for it. I wasn't raised with healthy eating habits at all. Till this day, no meal is considered complete by my family members unless half of the plate is some form of greasy potato. I wasn't aware that the point of a meal isn't to be so full that it physically hurts to eat more until I was an adult. So naturally, I did that too, and it became an intrinsic part of how I think. It doesn't just go away because I objectively know it's wrong and unhealthy. The feeling is still there.

I feel like I'll be stuck this way for the rest of my life and it sucks. It's so disheartening. I wish I could just be like everyone else and have this stuff come naturally to me. I'll never be able to cook a recipe without spending an extra hour weighing everything out, making sure I weigh out my portions, etc. otherwise I'll just inhale everything in sight. The second I stop counting calories meticulously, I'll be on the path to obesity again, because my brain doesn't work like thin people's brains do. It sucks so much.

THAT is the part of weight loss that's out of people's control.

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NSV: Weighed myself in public for the first time since High School

Ok, so some backstory in two parts: when I was in high school, I was around 200-210 lbs. I went to a high school that focused on medical, and one day we had to weigh ourselves in front of our ENTIRE. CLASS. I was the second heaviest person in class, and now everyone in my class knew that. It was mortifying. It gave me serious anxiety about ever weighing myself in front of another person and truly did a lot of work tying my self-worth to my weight (hooray peer pressure and embarrassment!).

backstory part 2: In the south we have a supermarket chain called Publix, and as I'm sure lots of markets do, they have scales at the front so you can weigh yourself. The last time I weighed myself on one of those Publix scales, I weighed over 220 lbs. Yikes. That was probably 2006?

This past weekend we went to Publix to start stocking for a Friendsgiving event we're doing this weekend, and I've been feeling really good about myself. I have been watching what I eat, eating more reasonable portions, and making healthier decisions for the last 8+ months and had been starting to get curious about whether my scale at home-- which was reporting 170-- was inaccurate. So I did the dreaded thing. I stepped on the Publix Scale.

166! It was the first time I'd ever seen a number that low on that scale, and I realized that I wasn't actually afraid to step on the scale that time. I'm 5'8, and my goal weight is 165. I'm officially down 33 lbs from when I got serious about weight loss (june-- my highest weight was 260-ish a few years back & been slowly trending downward with some upticks) and ready to maintain! But more importantly, I'm not afraid of facing my weight now. I feel happier than I have in a long time and I think I'm finally starting to grow comfortable in my skin.

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Weekends are the hardest!

So I have been on my weight loss journey for 18 months now. I have lost 120 lbs from 360 to 240. Im 6'4" so I carry that weight ok but I still would like to lose another 25 lbs. I do great during the week with dieting. Go to the gym 4 days a week without missing and am active the other days with tennis or golf. But come Friday evening my mind says, "you look good, no need to eat good. Friday night is pizza night." Then Saturday rolls around and it the same thing. Sunday too. Then Monday i'm disappointed in myself and start over eating good again. Basically I have been maintaining that 240 to 230 weight for the last 6 months and I feel like it is mostly due to the weekends. How can I get out of this rut? Obviously for the first year I was strict all week long on food. I am so close to my goal I just want to get there! Any thoughts would be helpful!

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Had a really gross and degrading experience with a trainer today.

I currently am in a transitional period in my career and have four months before I start my next endeavor. I decided to move in with my folks in Florida and away from my indulgent and exciting life in New Orleans as a way to solidify my fitness and weight loss journey. I've already made huge strides as of late but decided that I would like to start seeing a trainer to really help me get over the hump of going from overweight to a healthy BMI. I was referred to the resident trainer at my gym and was excited to get going on this. I walked in feeling excited and motivated and left feeling lost and discouraged. However, I decided I wouldn't give some random old man power over my journey and take away from this sacred process so I wrote him an email and sent it to his boss and corporate. Thought I'd share! Time to take it to a new gym!!

_____________

Hey L,

I wanted to reach out and give you some feedback on today’s session as I left with an uneasy and unsure feeling about my time with you today. While I can tell that you are accomplished and knowledgeable, I felt there was no interest in to what my goals were and what I was wanting to achieve. As I mentioned, without even being asked or inquired about, I’ve been on a fitness journey for quite some time now which has resulted in a significant weight loss of ~70 pounds and most recently 15lbs in the past couple of months. I felt like there was no consideration for what I may already know or what place my fitness level may already be at. The only way to know would be to ask a client these questions but you were too busy talking about yourself and any knowledge of me and my experience was known because I went out of my way to tell you. While yes, as you assumed within the first five minutes of meeting me, that I want to "lose weight and get rid of water retention” my main focus is strengthening my core and over all body as my aforementioned spinal fusion is something that I will have to take care of for the rest of my life. Its imperative that this journey be about more than just losing weight. The social, personal, and societal benefits surrounding my weight loss have been amazing but first and foremost, my focus is to strengthen my body to support my spine and range of motion for my future. Your comment about you wanting me to keep my femininity felt unnecessary and irrelevant as that’s ultimately not your decision and I don’t like being reduced to simply a feminine woman.

I also want to mention, you may want to ask your clients before you put their hands on them. If we had already had some kind of rapport beforehand that would not have been a problem. However, I had known you for 3 minutes before you decided to put your hands on my hips to gratuitously explain to me about the female body. Again, It felt unnecessary. I’m not simply offering up my body for you to touch or restructure but rather, I was there to gain valuable knowledge and insight from someone who has the experience as you do. For a first impression, it was not a good one. If what I went through was anything like what I should expect, I would rather have someone who cares a little more about what their client needs rather than what you want for your client. I understand it was a first session and was free at that, but there was little left to be desired when I left the gym. I left feeling like my journey had now become yours without any consideration or insight into where I was and where I wanted to be.

I understand that the optics of me being overweight may signal the idea of me lacking any kind of knowledge about fitness or nutrition but that is not always the case. I’m at a turning point in my journey where I go from overweight to a healthy and normal BMI. I’m excited about it and still am but I feel like I wasn’t given any agency in regards to my body and my journey.

I appreciate your time but I would like to respectfully decline any further sessions with you including the one we scheduled on Wednesday.

All in all, It is clear that we share different philosophies surrounding fitness and weight loss. I believe it goes deeper and reaches far beyond the surface levels that I experienced with you today. Your focus and discussion should be on or about your client not about your personal fitness successes. I think it’s best that I take my money elsewhere.

Best,

Wildlikechildren

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Ok, fine, FINE.

I'll count the damned calories.

I have this wishful thought that someday I can be one of those people who just naturally, EFFORTLESSLY eats in such a way as to become and remain eternally thin. So I shirked calorie counting because I'd never reach my goal of automatic, self-sustaining weight loss if I put so much thought and focus into it right? How can I become an intuitive eater if everything has to be planned and obsessed over?

Well, that's never going to happen. At least not without a few years of training wheels where I track my calories and limit my intake. Cause natural, intuitive eating for me right now apparenyly means overeating every single day and gaining back hard lost weight.

Yes, that means I can't drink a big glass of whole milk with every meal without cutting back elsewhere, no matter how nourishing and satisfying it is.

Dear body: I love you, but you don't know what you need and trusting you to tell me is like trusting a little kid that says ice cream for supper is the best option.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go log my breakfast.

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7 Healthy Casseroles to Bookmark