At this point I feel defeated, hopeless, and want to give up. (Former 340lb female, stalled for years. Long post.)

Hi all,

This is going to be a dark and long post. I appreciate ya'll reading, but please take care of yourselves if it's bringing YOU down. That's the last thing I want. Also, I swear in it. Sorry!

I have been on this weight loss journey for almost 6 years now. Only time I've been a healthy weight was when I was early elementary school age. I have been overweight/morbidly obese since then (around puberty). I don't really know what it is like to be healthy and free from being weighed down like this.

I am a female, average height, and started around 340lbs. Through lots of hard work, some unhealthy restricting, and some healthy habits, I got down to 215. At that point, losing weight was exciting. I couldn't wait to see what size I could get into. Everyone around me was noticing. I felt amazing, and it felt EASY most of the time. Eating 1200 - 1500 cal was EASY. I had a 1,000+ day tracking streak on MFP. "Just don't eat so much, move more, and make healthier choices!! :)" I really did like who I was, and who I was becoming. I felt like my own friend.

However, even before the pandemic hit, in 2018-2019 I started to really struggle. I started to go up from 215. I struggled from 225-240 for over a year. I would gain then lose, then gain and lose, and so on. Then of course this wonderful thing that COVID is hit and impacted EVERYTHING even more-so. These big life plans I had got smushed (i.e school, moving to another country, etc) and I believe I used that as an excuse to finally have the wind knocked out of my sails (that didn't even have much left to begin with.) I had decided to finally go on a depression medication near the end of 2019 after much reluctance.

I am now up to 265 and I feel like I am fighting tooth and nail for my health, but I just want to give up. I feel damned if I do, and damned if I don't. I get momentum and quell my binge eating for a few weeks, start feeling pretty decent, and then the scale goes up. I am in such a fragile state that I am feeling like I can't keep going like that. I can't keep going, giving it my all, exercising and taking care of myself, just to see NOTHING. That was never the case a few years ago. I don't have that much in me. Lately I've just been feeling like what is even the point?

I am in therapy. I have been put on Contrave (off now), and now I am on Vyvanse... but I don't even know what to do anymore. If I give up, I will just keep gaining and my weight will be over 300lb in no time again. If I keep fighting, I will continue to feel hopeless and like I can't beat this. I can't even get back down to 240, how am I supposed to get anywhere near 140 or any other healthy weight for me? If I am struggling so much (most days) to eat under 3500 calories, 3000 calories, or even 2500 calories... how am I supposed to do 1800 to maintain one day?

This is honestly such a depressing post, and I am crying as I type this. I know I am not alone in this, but I am so tired of being told to keep going. I am not stupid. I know how to count calories, I know how to move my body, I know about water weight, macros - micro nutrients, etc. I have been in this deep dive to becoming a healthy person for years, and years. I've even hired weight loss coaches and participated in their programs, etc, etc. The amount of money and energy I've spent on becoming a healthy person is maddening. I mean, fuck, I was able to lose about 125lbs... so.... why am I so weak these past few years? Why can't I even lose 10lbs now? I think I'd cry with joy if I could do that.

I am starting to think and feel like I am destined to be obese/overweight for the rest of my life, just like my parents and siblings. At this point, I feel like my only option is to get weight loss surgery or to be put into an inpatient program (which honestly is not a good option during COVID.)

I know I would feel so much better if that scale would just move down.... However, even when my FitBit is telling me I am burning 4500+ cals (avg of 3400 a day, I'm a frontline busy mf worker, and workout via cardio outside of work) and I know I am eating roughly 2000-2500 cals when I am "doing better", the scale actually goes up a few pounds??? I just throw my hands up. I am so impatient because it NEVER USED TO BE LIKE THIS. My body just feels fucked. I feel so fucked. Something is not adding up and it is frustrating beyond belief.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I guess I am hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel, or some advice from someone who has been where I am. My doctor has now referred me to an obesity specialist, on top of EVERYTHING else I've tried, so I know I am not "really" giving up, but in many ways I am. I am mentally exhausted with this. I am just so tired of having my organs and bones suffocated by all this disgusting fat. I hate it. I hate it so much. I just need to close my fucking mouth.

This is me, casting my line, hoping there is some wisdom out there from someone to take the edge off of this.

I hope you are doing well on the other side of this screen. I wish I could give you a really wholesome elbow-bump. Take care, and may your weekend be wonderful. My apologizes for the mini novel of hopelessness. 🌹 I do try to be an optimist in life, but man if this shit don't fucking suck.

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I’m finally seeing a difference!

I began 2020 at 165lbs (F27, 5’2”); I started being serious about my weight loss in April, but didn’t lose anything at all for months. I was frustrated and stressed. I felt like I was trying so hard but it was never enough. By August, I was still fluctuating between 158 and 160, but decided to try intermittent fasting. I’ve finally been losing weight and losing inches! I’ve lost 16lbs and a total of 10 inches!! I feel so much better and my am really proud of myself! I feel like I talk about my weight a lot and am annoying my friends and family about it, so I wanted to just share my excitement and pride with someone!

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I reached my goal today! Down from 200lbs to 159lbs in two years.

F27, 5'7" CW: 159lbs, SW: 200lbs, Goal Weight: 155 - 160lbs

Today I (27F) weighed in at 159 lbs. This means that I'm finally at a healthy weight for my height.

I never thought I would make it, but I did it! In 2018 I weighed in at a little over 200lbs. When I saw that number two-ish years ago I was mortified. I knew I had gained weight, but I didn't expect a 50lb gain in just one year. I knew I needed to change.

In winter of 2018 / spring of 2019 I began Noom and started going on almost daily walks. However, I didn't see much of a change at all. I quickly became discouraged and went back to my old ways.

It wasn't until March 2020 that I started to take it seriously. I wasn't healthy and I wasn't happy. I downloaded My Fitness Pal and began logging my calories, sticking to around 1700 per day. I began taking my dog on daily walks, started light yoga, and eventually picked up hiking. I continue to hike nearly every weekend. My hikes are usually between 4 - 7 miles in length and take about 2-4 hours depending on the elevation gain and trail conditions.

However, I think the biggest change has been my eating habits. I focus on protein and veggies and have cut back my snacking and portion sizes considerably. I try to treat carbs as a side dish and if I do have pasta for dinner I try to mix things like spinach, arugula, or asparagus in with the noodles.

I no longer eat two huge bowls of ice cream every night. When I have a hankering for something sweet I'll have a pudding cup or a chocolate chip cookie or two. And I always track these calories to make sure I'm not eating more than a I realize.

Here are the things I've learned, and that I think everyone should remember through their weight loss journey: - You have to want to change. - Sometimes good things are outside of your comfort zone. - Setbacks are normal. - You can still enjoy food and be healthy.

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I tried keto. Not sustainable. I thought I needed to go vegan or cook luxurious healthy meals but...

It all really is about CI/CO. However, I incorporate it with fasting which has done wonders for me. I just came off a 5-day fast in which I lost 9lbs and yes, all of it has stayed off minus a pound which I lost as of today.

I’m mostly doing fasting because it has aided in my binge eating problems. I’d say I owe a lot of my weight loss thanks to Fasting. I started in late august at 315lbs with my highest being 318. Safe to say I’m now 278.

Last year, I was 276 in August. In March of this year I was 299lbs July, I was 318. In August, I was 315. Now it’s nearing the end of October and I’m at 278lbs!

This is honestly so exciting.

I’ll admit I was scared to begin for fear of not being able to lose weight because I kept reading so many posts about women with pcos who struggle to lose weight and I figured it would be the same for me. So I tried to dive into keto, cook all these crazy meals and buy all these expensive products to aid in my keto weight loss journey. But after I got off my 5-day fasting session, I realized.... I don’t need keto. It’s not sustainable because it takes away my freedom of choice. My ability to choose whether I want to have a slice of pizza that day or bake some cookies.

Health over food, yes I agree. But yesterday was a tough day. Dad got diagnosed with pneumonia. Him and my mom are the only real family I have so I made a frozen pizza, I had a small candy bar and ... I overate a bit. But I drank lots of water. And I got on the scale today and was happy to see I went from 279 to 278. That’s when it dawned on me this is not going to be instant. This entire journey is about a whole life transition. I have to make good, healthy choices but it doesn’t mean I can’t splurge from time to time or make a healthier alternative.

I am keeping it low carb for the most part. I am also incorporating gluten free, too. I don’t drink any soda, coffee and I rarely drink tea nowadays. But I’m not going crazy about it by trying to force myself to be keto. Everyone’s body is different. My body stalls when I eat beans yet when I eat a pizza, the weight still manages to fall off. And uhh... I guess goes to show nutrition is a personal thing. It’s an experiment of sorts.

I’m glad to be 22lbs away from 300lbs and I never want to be at that level again. So here’s to hitting 270... then 260.... and so on and so forth. <3

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Inspired by this sub, here's what's worked for me down 14 pounds in the last 50 days.

I lurk on my main account and I am constantly inspired by the people of this subreddit. They've helped me on my own weight loss journey. Here are somethings that have really worked for me that I want to share. I try very hard to stick with these but I'm not a monk, a slip up here and there has not erased all of my progress. I hope you can find value in one or more of these tips.

1. Don't drink your calories. Just don't do it. No soda, no beer.
2. Coffee and tea (without additives are your friend)
3. Sparkling water is your new best friend. I find it fills me up much more than still. I'll splash fresh or bottled lemon juice to mix it up. This is not lemonade this is squeezed lemon juice no sugars added.
4. I start my day with a cup of coffee around 6:30 AM, I have a second cup around 7:00 and then I pick a time for my first real food, usually 10AM or 11AM. Mentally setting the time makes it easier for me to know I have something to look forward to but also means I've gone through 4 or 5 hours with basically zero calories in. I know coffee on an empty stomach doesn't sit well with everyone but this works for me. I'll splash in a bit of Kirkland almond milk which is ~10calories.
5. Move. You need to walk at least 30 minutes a day. That can be broken up if you need to but you have to move. One thing to remember the larger you are the more calories you're going to burn just by moving. This movement helps with that calorie deficit.
6. Exercise. Commit to at least 5 minutes everyday. There's no excuse for not doing 5 minutes. You'll surprise yourself and end up going longer somedays.
7. Attach exercise to things you love to do. I stationary bike on Sundays while I watch football. I have a friend who does step ups while watching Netflix. I look forward to hoping on the bike each week because now I've associated it with something I enjoy. Also instead of sitting on the couch drinking beer and eating chips I'm burning calories. Huge.
8. Diet. You need to know what you're eating and how many calories are in it. I reach for protein dense foods. Canned tuna, non-fat greek yogurt and grilled chicken. I make an effort to ensure I've always got one of these on hand so I can make the healthy choice. I kept a Costco size greek yogurt at my office when I was going in so I could grab that for lunch.
9. Skip the French fries. Be the crappy friend who steals one or two off someone else's plate but do not chose them as your side when dining out. You're a side salad person now.
10. Keep it out of the house. This is one of the biggest for me. My wife has no problem taking a few chips putting the bag away until tomorrow. If I know it's in the house, I'm going to keep going back and even if I pour myself a small bowl and put the bag way I know it's there and I'm going to eat more than I should. I need to work on self control but it's a lot harder to get in the car or walk down the street to go get the chips or ice cream vs walk to the kitchen. If you struggle with portion control I say keep it out the house.
11. Prepare your own food. This isn't for everyone I know but I find joy in cooking. Not only does it take time which means you're spending time not eating while preparing but you also can control what's going into what you eat.
12. Learn to read nutrition facts on food products. Check serving sizes, added sugars, sodium. Some salad dressing are equivalent to soda with the amount of added sugar.
13. If you're going to have a meal that you know is unhealthy plan for it. I know I want to grab a burger and a beer with my friend on Friday night so I make sure to get in extra exercise and eat healthy Friday before that meal. Don't use the unhealthy meal as an excuse to throw off all the healthy behaviors and actions. Use it as catalysis to do more healthy stuff. This helps with the guilt of enjoying something and also creates the mindset of if I want X I need to do Y. I've found this leads to times where I'm feeling lazy and don't wanna hop on the bike or go for a long walk so I skip the beer or burger I was going to indulge with.
14. Gum is your new dessert. Sugar free preferred. Over time this will also create a cue for you to know the meal is done.
15. Feeling hungry before bed? Drink a glass of cold water. This isn't a new idea but again just tricking your body to say hold on and getting yourself away from the fridge where there are calories you don't really need is the goal.
16. Protein powder is your friend. Protein helps you feel full. There's all kinds of protein powders if you've got dietary restrictions. Find one that sits well with you and be sure to read the nutrition facts. Some of these "healthy" powders are so full of sugar you might as well be drinking a can of Coke.
17. Go to sleep early. I know the late night fridge raid is where I undo all the mindful work I've put in all day. Brush your teeth and get in bed.
18. Slipped up and ate crap for a few days, make up for it. Swing extreme the other way. Now this might not work for everyone but for me it does. I'll do 3 hrs on the exercise bike if I know I ate like garbage and slacked off on the gym during the week.
19. It took time to put the weight on, it's going to take time to take it off. It's not a sprint. Some weeks you'll see little progress and then you'll have weeks where the pounds just melt. Don't get discouraged. Stick with it and know that moving more and eating less will result in weight loss.

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Starting my weight loss journey..again(Female, 31, 5’7, 194lbs). Looking for motivation!

I’ve consistently gained weight the last few years, not much, but 5 pounds a year adds up. I’m athletic looking so no one really notices, but the scale doesn’t lie. I want to make sure my body is healthy as high blood pressure runs in the family and breast cancer, so keeping my weight down is critical. I also want to have a child in the next two years, so getting to a healthy weight will be better for pregnancy.

I downloaded LoseIt today - used to use MyFitnessPal, but figured I would change it up. The holiday season is hard to lose weight, but with CoVID, I won’t be doing much, so hoping that is helpful. My husband is very supportive of a healthy lifestyle and we try to workout 4/5 days a week together. My biggest problem is carbs and sodium, I just love pasta and tend to over salt my food. I also am a regular marijuana user - helps with anxiety, but also increases my appetite. Working on easing that out, but it’s very helpful for my mental health. Posting for accountability. I know I can do this, one day at a time right?

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Back in the 200's after 2 years!

Just weighed myself and I was 299!!! 26 pounds so far! Though my journey is still going to be pretty long (I have about 100 pounds to go), It's still a good personal milestone! My main "diet" has been CICO (even though it is technically not a diet), and it has been working wonders so far. But one thing that I have been avoiding that I believe is also helping quite a bit is avoiding sugar, and turning to healthy low calorie fruits for my sweet tooth instead. My next milestone is 275, hoping to reach that by next year. There are obviously still many improvements to my lifestyle that can be made, which can increase the weightless process, but everything in time! I can finally go for walks again because of the weather! So happy! Exercise is something I have not been fond of my entire life, but walking is one for of exercise I can get behind! Depending on how long you are walking, you can lose a bunch of calories! I hope everyone reaches there milestones/goals for there own weight loss journeys as well. Have a good day!

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