What you're willing to do vs. not willing to do long-term to maintain a goal weight range

I've intentionally changed my lifestyle and food behavior and have lost a substantial amount of weight since August 2023 (~20 months). As I approach the end of my weight loss phase and the beginning of my maintenance phase, I'm setting boundaries of what I'm willing to do vs. not willing to do for the rest of my life to maintain my weight.

Here's what I want maintenance to look like for me:

• I can eat two healthy and satisfying meals each day (in the range of 400-600 calories each) consisting of mostly unprocessed/minimally processed foods, have room for a protein shake for macro balancing (~200 calories), and have 200-300 calories allotted most days for treats that might be highly-processed or less healthy but bring me enjoyment (or use those 200-300 calories toward the occasional bigger meal - see below) - so around 1600-1800 calories/day
• I can enjoy eating out once a month without obsessing over the calorie content of the meal, choosing the lowest-calorie option on the menu, or making the restaurant meal the only thing I eat that day (these days I eat half a restaurant meal by default, take the other half home for a second meal later on, weigh it on my food scale, and use ChatGPT to estimate its calories and macros based on weight and description)
• I can indulge rather than restrict or miss out on special occasions (birthdays, holidays) a few times a year

This is what I'm willing to do to maintain my weight long-term:

• exercise 5 days/week for around 30 min each time, including a mix of cardio and weight training, and take at least 1 full rest day each week (knowing that TDEE-wise, this'll land me between "sedentary" and "light exercise", based on recent analyses)
• spend 2-3 hours each weekend meal-prepping healthy recipes on weekends, weighing and measuring all ingredients
• weigh myself daily and adjust my calories if my weekly averages trend upwards
• accurately log my food intake daily
• calorie cycle for planned indulgences (i.e., if I know I'm going to have a big, 1000-calorie Thanksgiving dinner, eat 100-200 calories less than usual the days before and after)
• continue intermittent fasting and omit breakfast, though in a more relaxed way (I currently do 20:4 or 19:5 most days; would like to relax this to 18:6 or even 16:8 depending on the day)

This is what I'm NOT willing to do:

• stay at 1200-1500 calories/day long-term in maintenance (given my gender, height, and age, this likely means I won't get smaller than a US women's size 6/8, and I'm fine with that)
• exercise 7 days/week with no rest days or for >1 hour/day (speaking from past experience -- I did this for years, often spending 1.5-2 hours/day on cardio at the gym and never taking rest days, and it was not healthy for me mentally or physically)
• wake up at 5 AM to exercise (also speaking from past experience)
• log 10,000+ steps/day every single day (also speaking from past experience)
• never eat out
• never eat dessert
• sacrifice all flavor from food I enjoy so that it's low(er) calorie (also speaking from experience - there are only so many tweaks you can make to your favorite coffee shop order before the drink tastes totally different in a bad way)

What about you all -- what are your "willing to dos" and "not willing to dos" as you've approached or transitioning into your maintenance phase?

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When did you know to go into a "maintenance week"?

Hey all, I am in the process of losing the last 15-20lbs (yipeee!) and I am really struggling with getting ANYTHING to come off at this point.

Here's what I am doing right now:

1 HOUR of incline 10 on the treadmill at 2.9mph 5x a week

It's worth noting I work a serving job so I am getting around 12-15,000 steps 5x a week as well. At the beginning of my weight loss journey I was counting calories but now I intuitively eat. I know for sure I am eating less than 1,200 calories a day because at this point I know the calories in everything I eat and I am sure to measure out single servings every time. Even though I intuitively eat, I'll track my calories randomly (just a normal day of eating, or I'll track at the end of my day to be sure) to make sure I am still eating in a deficit.

Typically every 10 pounds or so I notice I tend to plateau with my weight, so blah blah blah 10 pounds come off and I am already mentally preparing myself to see a plateau sooner rather than later. Bam! I hit my plateau, no biggie right? I've seen this before and I know exactly how to fish myself out of it so I can keep going with my weight loss.

So I went ahead and tightened up on my calorie intake (started counting them again to make sure I am hitting my goals than intuitively eating) and hit my cardio hard and fast. A few days go by... nothing. Fine, no worries the last 10-15 are the hardest right? So I must be there. A week, then two weeks go by. Absolutely nothing. I am probably 2 weeks into this plateau and I am totally struggling!

I've been seeing that the body will adjust it's metabolism to be slower after extended calorie restriction to reach homeostasis again. In order to counteract this, people mention going into maintenance for 1-2 weeks so your metabolism will readjust before attempting calorie deficit again.

Has anyone gone through the same thing? What worked for you? Tips? Advice? Literally anything is appreciated. I am desperate!

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My mother doesn’t understand how unhealthy crash diets are

So I’ve bern losing weight with CICO since September, and despite having a number of factors working against me (PCOS, CSU, chronic depression, and agoraphobia) I’ve lost 25lbs. Seeing my success my mother decided to start her own weight loss. She has about 20lbs to lose whereas I have about 100 more to lose, but I told her I’d be happy to help her out with encouragement and any tips I’ve learned.

We live 4500 km apart so I don’t actually see her often but we speak on the phone. She called today and told me it’s been going really well the first week, she’s already lost 3lbs. She said she’s been eating a 6’ tuna sub each day. That’s it. Nothing else. I explained to her that a tuna subway is less than 500 cals and she should be eating 1200 per day. She just kept saying “but I feel fine” and got really angry when I said it’s really unhealthy (how can it be unhealthy when it has so many vegetables and good protein?!). I know ultimately I can’t stop her from making poor choices but I’m legitimately worried about her so I’m wondering if anyone has some tips on how to show her what a healthy diet looks like without coming across accusatory or like I’m “fear-mongering”?

Thanks!

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how do you cope with being seen regularly in public?

I [29F] consider myself at the beginning of a weight loss journey after a long, slow battle with weight gain. I am not obese, just overweight, but I spent most of my adult life a healthy weight until the past few years. What I'm struggling with currently is the emotional toll of being seen by others.

I live in a major city in the US. I work onsite at an office 3-4 days a week and have to walk 20 minutes each way and take a long bus ride to commute to work on those days. I dress nice daily, wear makeup, style my hair, but none of that matters. Being out in public to this extent and being seen by others, as well as having to see myself in mirrors and reflections, is really taking a toll on me. When I sense anybody looking at me I get so anxious, and when I am at work I just want to hide. For example, I was just in a work meeting and I was so uncomfortable that I kept my arms crossed over my stomach and my stomach sucked in for the whole hour as I sat in my chair, yet I knew it wouldn't help, that everyone around me was perceiving me and my body and my size and there was nothing I could do about it, nothing I could do to change their perception of me or make myself look better. I am fortunate in that I haven't been bullied and people haven't made rude comments about me, but that's not the issue. Just knowing that they're not blind and they can perceive my body as it currently is is embarrassing in and of itself.

I am going to try to channel this negative emotion into motivation for productive things that will contribute to weight loss, such as exercising consistently, but I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to manage this feeling on a daily basis. It's taking everything I have right now not to break down and cry at work and I can't focus on my tasks.

Also, I cannot currently afford to go to therapy, so please do not suggest that route.

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A loss is worth celebrating (even if you and/or others don’t see the changes) 🩷

https://imgur.com/gallery/eAvfU1p Scared to post these pics… but here we go. 🥲

I’ve officially lost 30 lbs since January. I’m working out every day, eating less/measuring my food, and overall and most importantly, being consistent! But yet, even still, my clothes fit the same, I see the same body in the mirror, and worst of all, nobody has said anything to me or has stated that they’ve noticed my weight loss. I know, I know- seeking validation in the comments of others (and not getting said validation) is not what makes or breaks my success. And I can say it louder for the ones in the back because I swear I cannot be the only one! I feel like I’ve grown up and throughout my entire 22 years of life being told what’s wrong with my body, how I need to lose weight, am fat etc~ so it makes sense that I would be consciously (or subconsciously) hoping for that verbal validation from the opposite end- aka, the desire for positive comments to counteract all of those negative ones. Well, here is my first photo comparison where I feel like there is a bit of change but nothing drastic. Given that I want to lose 80 more pounds, I suppose that 30 may not be all that visible and that’s okay. I just need to keep going. And if you’re feeling the same way- yes. Keep going. We’ve got this. 🩷

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Looking for new protein powder recommendations

I currently have OWYN protein powder in the morning with water. I don’t have any dietary restrictions, I just like the way this one tastes. It’s served me well, but I’m looking for a new option.

This one isn’t keeping me as full as it used to, earlier in my weight loss journey.

I’m looking for a recommendation that’s the same price or lower ($1.30/oz), and has the same or more protein (20g).

And of course, doesn’t taste awful when mixed with just water.

Does anyone have a protein powder that they swear by?

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Big Breakthrough on my BED I'd like to share

Warning: very long but m any posts such as this have been what's motivated me mentally through this journey. Hope this fits here.

SW: 220 CW:159 GW: 135 F/27/5'5"

Starting out this journey, I had no concept of what calories were (I believed that the more calories something is the fuller it makes you, the more nutritious it is), I had never ever seriously tried to understand the math and science behind weight loss and had struggled with binge eating and alcoholism. Really, the only thing I did know was that I would need a serious mental shift and lifestyle change in order to heal whatever it was that got me to my heaviest weight.

I've been actively trying to lose weight since Feb 2024 with the exception of a brief break from counting November-January. Since being back at it, I've had several days and even weeks that I'm reassessing what my defecit should be, how much I should move, or if I should give up and just try to be happy where I'm at (yay plateau!). I am extremely goal oriented so I've been really beating myself up everytime I give into the pressures of a quick snack at work, a small bite of something here and there, basically anything that's not on plan. I adjust my food plans almost every day and end up trading some decent protein for an okay snack and regret it.

After going off plan for a solid week, I finally sat down and talked it out with myself. "Why am I so uncomfortable not getting what I want? Why am I so uncomfortable being uncomfortable? What about food excites me so much that I can't stop myself?" Essentially, I was trying to get to the root of my lack of self discipline. Ah, Yes! Chilldhood! More specifically a perfectly blended cocktail of low self esteem given to me exclusively by my mother, LOADS of emotional negligence and a lack of a young social life. Basically, food was my best friend, my hobby, and my comfort. Although this is a very specific set of circumstances given to me, the underlying theme here can apply to a lot people: I had very little if any fulfillment outside of eating. When I was bored, I'd eat. And I was bored most of the time. When I was lonely, I'd eat. The only real hobbies I had from childhood allllll the way until a few years ago was eating and the internet.

I had a big breakthrough when I realized that I will not heal my BED or lack of self-assurance and worth until I break this cycle of always giving myself what I think I want. Or, to word it differently, I cannot heal until I find fulfillment in hobbies, interests, and LIFE outside of food. I had this mental shift a few days ago and since then, a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I've begun to do the things that my younger self would have loved to do but had such little self-worth, she was too afraid to try. Guess what? The food noise has lessened immensely. Yes, of course, this journey is going to continue to be long and challenging- I'm rewiring the same brain I've had all my life! The way I've learned to cope is by constantly comforting myself with food or alcohol or various other unhealthy coping mechanisms. Now, I'm telling myself that I have to feel and not mask the discomfort. I can't just reach for a muffin or a quick snack. I have to reach for my journal, a book,my best friend, a walk, a hobby. I have to go for the things that fulfill me actually and not just temporarily.

To tie this up, I now understand that I will not stick to my calorie defecit if I'm always coddling myself. I need some tough love. That tough love is to tell myself no to what I want and instead, give myself something that I need: love and fulfillment. Food does not need to be the center of my life. I, myself, can be the center of my life. I can fill my days with learning, moving, and creating things that are precious to me.

Turns out the weight loss advice is all valid: It's all a mental game.

TLDR: In order to stop my BED I have to fill my life with life. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

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