Hi all, first decent-length post here. First off, warmest wishes to all my future fit guys and gals :)
Now...the rage. Buckle up.
After decades of being told, "Oh you're not fat, you're a nice guy, decades of so SO little action with the ladies, the tide is turning. I should be happy - I am. Turned 50 and in the last 2 months, I was asked out by TWO girls. Both notably younger, both fairly pretty. That's more than have asked me out in the previous 2 decades. More likely ever. Life is great, and it's getting better. The handsome guy I long suspected was buried underneath a mountain of fat, is finally surfacing. I'm glad to say he's alive.
All good, yeah?
Here's what's cutting me up; I'm something of an elitist prick. There, I said it. I LIKE it there are dumb people who do the dumb things that need to be done, but that we won't touch. When people have the truth right before them, but choose to ignore it or deny it, I will react in one of two ways - disgust that they are that stupid, or relief that someone else isn't not as smart as I am. What I can't reconcile, though, is why women - even the sweetest, well-meaning ones - persist in telling us, "You're fine, you're not fat", or "Looks aren't important" etc, when the data, including both my own experiences and observing the partners of attractive women, F*KING well shows otherwise. I hate that society is so scared of telling people a biological reality - fat people are, all else being equal, less attractive by far, than people at helathy bodyfat levels. I hate that those girls asked me out when, if everything else their fellow sisters keep repeating were true, the amount of girls asking me out during my weight loss should have increased by ZERO.
Why Doctors blithely say, "Please lose weight" in the same offhand, "This-Crap-Happens-To-Other-People" tone they say, "Hello, please take a seat". Like the lifestyle changes required for losing weight, the acquisition of cooking skills, food storage skills etc, are as simple a changing the air-freshener in your car.
I'm glad I'm here. This isn't /r/WhoCaresAboutBeingFat . We're here because NONE of us wants to continue doing what we have always done - eat wrongly. The other day I called out a girl, otherwise quite intelligent and well-meaning, for being a fat-denialist. She asked genuinely, "How are you?" and I replied how stoked I was to be dropping blubber. She THEN saidd, "Oh no need you're not fat." I could have let her have it with both barrels but I simply said, "Look, I am. You're denying it but it's a fact".
(takes deep breath)
It would have been FAR kinder for my female relatives - who claim to love and care for me - to have said, just frickken ONCE - "If you want some success with the ladies, you're gonna have to drop some weight". Would that have sped up the start of my weight loss efforts ? Not by much. I just find it frickken galling that they participated in the same self-delusion that most women, most people do. This is MY OWN FAMILY, who should have told me the truth, and didn't. I mean, if you can't trust your own family to be forthright, who the hell will be brave enough to tell the truth? My own family participated in a society-wide taboo. I just can't reconcile how they could love me YET not say anything. Yeah, I'd have replied, "How the hell do I do that? What diet do I follow?". I frickken hate it that people pay WW like a hundred quid per month just to manage their own intake.
Ok - I'm sure a few of you are tempted to suggest I go and talk to someone on a couch, about this. MAYBE I should - but that's not the focus here. The 240lb elephant in the room is this frickken society-wide denialism, the fact in infiltrated my own family, and my inability to reconcile my smart-alec attitudes to how deluded society is. The fact there's not even a term for this. "Denialist" isn't even a common word. It's gonna take ma a while to process the enormity of all this. I hope some of you who have encountered the same will have some words of wisdom here.
:)
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2IwFXGo
