Is it wrong for people to take you more seriously after weight loss?

On a throwaway as I don't want my friends to see this post.

I was slim most of my life but gained a lot of weight from 2014 to 2017 (100lbs). Started to get my shit together in 2018, lost 50lbs and met a guy. We dated for a while but he never wanted to be exclusive. He was very honest about it, he told me openly he was multi-dating and he wasn't going to stop.

I had very low confidence at the time because of my weight, despite the 50lb loss I was still obese and very uncomfortable in my own skin. My lack of confidence was apparent, I couldn't hide it. He ended things with me due to this, but part of me really thinks he didn't view me as a viable option because of my physical appearance.

Anyway, it was over and I continued on with life. I have now lost the other 50lbs... 100 total. Confidence is back and I feel wonderful. I am just more focused on building muscle now. The weight loss has changed my life in so many ways. Having people treat me so differently has been eye opening. I am much more empathetic because of this but perhaps also a little oversensitive.

In quarantine I have been reflecting a lot, which lead to me reach out to the guy I mentioned. We hadn't spoke in 10 months but I always hated how things ended between us. The last conversation wasn't great and I had regrets. I apologised and we got to talking, I suggested being friends and he agreed. I felt so good about this, like a weight had been lifted because I thought he disliked me.

Obviously he can see my new picture and I told him about my weight loss, he was very nice and supportive. We had been talking as friends for a couple of weeks but now he told me he wants to take me out on a date whenever the pandemic is over. I said no because he seems to have a lot going on in that area and I don't want to be involved. He told me he isn't seeing anyone else and is willing to try again with just me. I told him I would have to think about it.

The change of heart... and so quickly has me in my feelings a little. We dated for months and he never wanted to be exclusive and now we haven't spoke in almost a year, talked for 2 weeks and he is willing to do it.

Am I being too sensitive? Is it wrong for people to take you more seriously after weight loss?

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Conflicted about calorie counting

About a month ago, I started my weight loss journey in earnest. I’m using LifeSum to track my calories and doing 30-45 minute yoga sessions about 5 times a week. I’m feeling great and seeing results!

For a long time, I’ve stocked my social feeds with body positive content, and I find that this usually only helps my motivation by fostering a deeper love and respect for my body. However, I recently read a post by one of my favourite body positive influencers that called calorie counting an “unhealthy weight loss behaviour”. So I did some googling and found a lot of articles claiming that calorie counting is deeply unhealthy and compulsive. I want to protect my mental health, and it’s important to me that any lifestyle changes I make that result in weight loss are sustainable and rooted in self love, so this worries me. But calorie counting seems to be the best method I’ve tried so far. I don’t feel deprived or hungry, and I’m way more aware of macros.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Is there anything I can do to practice caution in calorie counting?

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Day 1? Starting your weight loss journey on Friday, 03 April 2020? Start here!

Today is your Day 1?

Welcome to r/Loseit!

So you aren’t sure of how to start? Don’t worry! “How do I get started?” is our most asked question. r/Loseit has helped our users lose over 1,000,000 recorded pounds and these are the steps that we’ve found most useful for getting started.

Why you’re overweight

Our bodies are amazing (yes, yours too!). In order to survive before supermarkets, we had to be able to store energy to get us through lean times, we store this energy as adipose fat tissue. If you put more energy into your body than it needs, it stores it, for (potential) later use. When you put in less than it needs, it uses the stored energy. The more energy you have stored, the more overweight you are. The trick is to get your body to use the stored energy, which can only be done if you give it less energy than it needs, consistently.

Before You Start

The very first step is calculating your calorie needs. You can do that HERE. This will give you an approximation of your calorie needs for the day. The next step is to figure how quickly you want to lose the fat. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. So to lose 1 pound of fat per week you will need to consume 500 calories less than your TDEE (daily calorie needs from the link above). 750 calories less will result in 1.5 pounds and 1000 calories is an aggressive 2 pounds per week.

Tracking

Here is where it begins to resemble work. The most efficient way to lose the weight you desire is to track your calorie intake. This has gotten much simpler over the years and today it can be done right from your smartphone or computer. r/loseit recommends an app like MyFitnessPal, Loseit! (unaffiliated), or Cronometer. Create an account and be honest with it about your current stats, activities, and goals. This is your tracker and no one else needs to see it so don’t cheat the numbers. You’ll find large user created databases that make logging and tracking your food and drinks easy with just the tap of the screen or the push of a button. We also highly recommend the use of a digital kitchen scale for accuracy. Knowing how much of what you're eating is more important than what you're eating. Why? This may explain it.

Creating Your Deficit

How do you create a deficit? This is up to you. r/loseit has a few recommendations but ultimately that decision is yours. There is no perfect diet for everyone. There is a perfect diet for you and you can create it. You can eat less of exactly what you eat now. If you like pizza you can have pizza. Have 2 slices instead of 4. You can try lower calorie replacements for calorie dense foods. Some of the communities favorites are cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash in place of their more calorie rich cousins. If it appeals to you an entire dietary change like Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian.

The most important thing to remember is that this selection of foods works for you. Sustainability is the key to long term weight management success. If you hate what you’re eating you won’t stick to it.

Exercise

Is NOT mandatory. You can lose fat and create a deficit through diet alone. There is no requirement of exercise to lose weight.

It has it’s own benefits though. You will burn extra calories. Exercise is shown to be beneficial to mental health and creates an endorphin rush as well. It makes people feel awesome and has been linked to higher rates of long term success when physical activity is included in lifestyle changes.

Crawl, Walk, Run

It can seem like one needs to make a 180 degree course correction to find success. That isn’t necessarily true. Many of our users find that creating small initial changes that build a foundation allows them to progress forward in even, sustained, increments.

Acceptance

You will struggle. We have all struggled. This is natural. There is no tip or trick to get through this though. We encourage you to recognize why you are struggling and forgive yourself for whatever reason that may be. If you overindulged at your last meal that is ok. You can resolve to make the next meal better.

Do not let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress. We don’t need perfect. We just want better.

Additional resources

Now you’re ready to do this. Here are more details, that may help you refine your plan.

• Quick Start Guide - Build your foundation!
• Loseit Compendium - Frame it out!
• FAQ - Answers to our most Frequently Asked Questions!

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Does your body ever feel any different during a plateau? Water retention, soreness?

Every 6-8 pounds of weight loss I experience a plateau. It is so routine that I’m almost expecting it, even though I’m not changing anything drastic in terms of my diet and exercise from one plateau to the next - it seems to be a temporary setpoint that I just have to wait out.

Anyway, to keep myself from going crazy and wanting to binge / sabotage myself during these plateaus, I’ve started to journal a bit about how my body looks, feels, any changes I experience during these plateaus.

For me, it starts with a bit of fatigue, feeling drained or depleted. It’s usually accompanied by more DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) after workouts. My skin feels more plump, like a soft, gooshy watery layer under my skin. Sometimes I feel like my cellulite looks a little worse. Sometimes I get insomnia!

Sometimes I workout a little harder to shock my system, sometimes I take a rest day and eat at maintenance for one day. I haven’t quite figured out what it is exactly that does the trick. But once that “whoosh” comes, my stamina comes back, my cellulite doesn’t seem so bad, my recovery is better, my sleep is improved.

Does anyone experience something similar during plateaus? Anything different? I’m genuinely curious.

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How likely is it to UNDER estimate calories?

Here’s the background:

I wasn’t very overweight to begin with, so I never bothered with a food scale or anything. I knew my calorie counts wouldn’t be super accurate but it worked perfectly anyway. From August through December of 2019, I lost a bit over 20 pounds and was happy with the results.

Throughout, I’ve used MyFitnessPal to track calories. It’s not like I’m tracking food I don’t eat; on the contrary, I sometimes don’t bother to track if I go over my limit.

I was steadily losing 1 pound per week during my weight loss, on 1200 calories a day.

In December, when I decided to switch to maintenance, I was 130lbs with a waist circumference of 29”.

I’ve been eating 1700 calories a day (or so I thought?) I weighed myself weekly and started to see a very slight downward trend, but dismissed it since it was so small.

Well, it hasn’t stopped. Yesterday I weighed in at 126.2lbs - lower than ever before, and still continuing the steady downward trend. Not only that, but my waist circumference has somehow gone down to 27.5”.

My full stats in case they matter: 19F, 126lbs, 5’5”, pretty much sedentary. http://tdeecalculator.net says my TDEE is even lower than 1700 but that’s clearly not the case.

To illustrate my activity level: I go on 1-2 hour leisurely walks a few times a week and work out sporadically (like for less than 20min at a time and less than once a week). I do outdoor chores but that’s for less than 5min a day, and on days I don’t intentionally go for a walk, I get embarrassingly few steps in.

Either my TDEE is higher than I thought - which seems weird, considering my intentional rate of weight loss showed otherwise - or I’m eating fewer calories than I thought. Or something else I haven’t thought of is to blame.

I’m so confused.

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From triple cheese burgers to triathlete

21, M, SW: 110 kg, CW: 63 kg

My journey started 6 months ago. I was sick and tired of being obese. I found menial tasks to such as walking for 15 min or climbing the stairs to be tiresome. I had very little confidence and a low self esteem. No one was interested in becoming friends and basically get zero attention from the opposite sex. So one day, I decided enough was enough and started exercise. First, I started running 3 km in my local park, and boy did I find it difficult! I wouldn’t even call it “running” since it took my 40 minutes to cover 3 km, but it was a start. Fast forward a week, and I was able to do 5 km. A month, 10 km. From then, I was seeing a lot of progress and was really starting to enjoy getting my heart pumping. I decided to get into swimming and cycling and within 5 months, I was able to complete my first sprint triathlon! Right now I’m currently training for an Olympic distance triathlon and an absolutely passionate about triathlon. Thanks to my weight loss, my confidence and self esteem has skyrocketed and am attracting a lot of attention from a lot of people. I don’t feel invisible anymore!

my weight loss transformation: (https://imgur.com/gallery/Lht9reD)

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How hard is it to maintain a goal weight? Any tips?

[20F] I'm 5'4" and 200 lbs. I've had eating disorders on both ends of the spectrum, I suffered from anorexia ~3 years ago and now I binge eat. I realized recently that I've NEVER in my life been at a healthy weight--I've either been far too much over or far too much under. This is making my current weight loss journey even more daunting because I don't have to just lose weight, I have to try to maintain a healthy relationship with food and exercise forever.

In a way, weight loss is easier for me because there's a goal to work towards or an end in sight. But in doing so I tend to become obsessed with calorie intake and starve myself, then I binge eat when I hit a goal. I'm really worried I will truly never be healthy, I'll just be constantly fluctuating between two ends of the unhealthiness spectrum (although I will say that how I'm treated when I'm unhealthy-skinny is far better than how I'm treated at unhealthy-fat, as unsettling and unsurprising as that is).

Has anyone else dealt with this? Does anyone currently maintaining their goal weight have any advice?

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