[20F] I'm 5'4" and 200 lbs. I've had eating disorders on both ends of the spectrum, I suffered from anorexia ~3 years ago and now I binge eat. I realized recently that I've NEVER in my life been at a healthy weight--I've either been far too much over or far too much under. This is making my current weight loss journey even more daunting because I don't have to just lose weight, I have to try to maintain a healthy relationship with food and exercise forever.
In a way, weight loss is easier for me because there's a goal to work towards or an end in sight. But in doing so I tend to become obsessed with calorie intake and starve myself, then I binge eat when I hit a goal. I'm really worried I will truly never be healthy, I'll just be constantly fluctuating between two ends of the unhealthiness spectrum (although I will say that how I'm treated when I'm unhealthy-skinny is far better than how I'm treated at unhealthy-fat, as unsettling and unsurprising as that is).
Has anyone else dealt with this? Does anyone currently maintaining their goal weight have any advice?
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