25F 5’3” SW: 130lb GW:115lb
I started counting calories January 2019 and actually reached got to 110-115lb by May. But unfortunately, probably due to my obsessive calorie tracking and restricting myself to not eat the food that I want to eat, I developed a binge eating disorder in August when I started stuffing myself with cakes and breads until I was painfully full. I’m talking about half a cake + a whole loaf of challah at all once and many similar instances. I would drive around to visit multiple stores then proceed to eat everything in my car in the parking lot. Just very sad, frustrating, and embarrassing looking back at it.
It took me a while, but I was able to slowly steer myself the right way and stopped the binging eventually. It was probably helpful that I took two vacations between then and the start of 2020 where I was unable to track calories since I ate out all the time. I learned to just enjoy the food I was eating without worrying how many calories they would be.
From the binging episodes and the vacations where I ate without considering calories, I ended up gaining all of the weight I lost back, so by January 2020 I was back at 134lbs. But I felt confident that I have fixed my binge eating and decided to tackle calorie counting to lose weight again.
The first time around when I reached my goal weight, I was devastated by the fact that after all my hard work by eating super healthy and working out all the time to lose all that weight, to maintain my goal weight, “I can still only eat around 1400 cal for the rest of my life!?” This time, I feel much more mentally prepared. Here’s my current approach that I think has been working very well for me and hopefully would help some of you:
-I decided to eat at the maintenance calorie of my goal weight from the start this time, and KNOWING that that’s how much a person who is 115lb can eat to maintain weight really has been keeping my mentality much more healthy than last time around.
-I also have taken on the mindset of “On days and meals when I have full control of how much I eat, I will eat around 1300-1400 calories every day for the rest of my life if I have the power to do so.” And that I feel like will offset any days that I eat out or eat an extra slice of cake (or two haha)
-I’ve came to terms with that while there are days that I go over my calorie limit, there are so many more days where I stay within my calorie goal. Like really really try to come to terms with this. I do not actively try to eat below my calorie range the next day after going over the day before. Every day is a fresh start.
-I have been eating things I WANT to eat, just smaller portions, to keep the calories down and not just eating super healthy food that I don’t care for. I do try to eat nutritious food, but when I want a slice of cake, I will eat a small slice of cake instead of a salad or chug water. Because, at the end of the day, a salad is NOT cake lol
I’ve lost almost 10 lbs since January 2020 so far. It’s slightly slower than my weight loss rate last year, but im completely okay with it. I feel good about my progress and feel confident that I can maintain my goal weight happily once I get there this time
tl;dr Binge-ate my success away, but feeling great on my second attempt
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