Currently, I am the most I have ever weighed in my life. Through most of my life I was very petite/thin, I struggled with my eating. I was 108lbs which is the least I have ever weighed and it was NOT good. Now, I was also a huge stoner as well. Still am. I met my boyfriend in 2015, developed a healthier relationship with food and eventually would get so stoned that I would just eat and eat and eat. After almost 5 years of doing that, I gained about 60 lbs. Because I was so thin and was told by my doctor to gain weight, in the beginning I didn’t really think too much about it, and would be like “Oh well I can do this, I’m too skinny and need to gain!” And then I did. I reached around 125-130 and felt SO happy with my body - I also got lots of compliments from friends back home when I would visit family about how I looked so much better/healthier and how they were happy for me etc. so I thought “okay! I have a healthy relationship with food now!” And I would eat to my heats content. And then I didn’t stop. I just kept gaining.
Now, I’m around 160lbs. (https://pixxxels.cc/sGrWGXT8) Give or take a few. I haven’t weighed myself in a few months, I only weigh myself at the doctor and have never let a scale be in the house - I focus too much on numbers and I don’t want to get too overly critical of my body and such. I might eventually get a scale, but I haven’t really decided on that.
I want to take the steps to get back down to the weight I was the most happy at. I feel that 125 is a healthy and acceptable weight and I want to be happy with my body again. I want to be able to keep up with my dog and go hiking and feel fit and wear clothing that I like wearing. I’m tired of hiding my weight gain in leggings and oversized shirts. I have the equipment, I just need the motivation.
For the last 2 weeks I’ve been monitoring my eating - no calorie counting, I’m not sure if I want to do that. But no binge eating, making healthy choices. I’ve been trying to work out at least every other day but I’m having this problem where I feel nauseous constantly. I get DOMS in my belly, after ab work outs and it makes me feel SO sick to the point where the next day I can’t really work out. I might go for a 15 min walk with the dog but I really can’t do much else. I paid a trainer for a full body workout circuit plan- it has 3 circuits and is about an hour long work out. I’ve been doing yoga almost daily. My biggest problem is just, keeping it going and not giving up after 2-3 months when I don’t see the results I want. The last time I tried getting fit at around 140, I got SUPER into fitness. Like I was obsessed. I would weight train 4 days a week and lost about 10 lbs but could not drop the last 5, I was frustrated and gave up and then gained even more weight 2 years later. I want to prevent that from happening. I don’t want to get frustrated with my body! And I just need a little pep talk.
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