Sex life and self-esteem issues after a significant weight loss

This is almost embarrassing to talk about but I feel like this is the only place where I can find some authentic sympathy and maybe even some words of wisdom.

I have lost over 100 pounds and this weight loss is one of my proudest achievements but I still bare the scars of my previous obese life. Most days I overlook these things and I'm overjoyed for this new body I was able to give myself but I do admit I don't have a perfectly toned body (probably never will); I have big stretch marks on my rib cage, cellulite under my butt, thick thighs, some mild arm flab but my number one insecurity is what people like to call the "mummy tummy" which is basically belly overhang right above the pelvis that some women have after giving birth -- except I never had a kid. My baby was food. I'm actually planning to get a tummy tuck someday because I wanna live my best life without a fupa but until then.. I have to manage.

It's all nice and dandy trying to conceal this pooch in your clothes by wearing flattering things or shapewear... but when you're about to get naked in front of someone you wanna look attractive for, it's crippling. I started seeing this new guy and we just recently started having sex and though he's been nothing but a gentleman and never made me feel bad for this dreadful wobbly thing I have... it's hard for me to feel confident naked with this issue. This is gonna get TMI a bit, sorry, but it's even hindering me from sitting on his face or riding him because I feel the belly just flapping in the wind is going to turn him off big time. I know technically I should get over it because we've been in the heat of the moment switching positions and all, I know he's clearly seeing this saggy tummy in all its unflattering glory yet the moment we're done, I'm back to wanting to hide the pooch. I can't stand up if he's looking because I'm incredibly self-conscious. How do I mentally get over this? I've talked about my insecurity with him and the uplifting part in all this is that he constantly tells me how beautiful he thinks I am a million times over and clearly he still seems to be attracted.. so that's encouraging. Maybe I need time to be 100% comfortable with him?

Do other women (or even men) in this sub go through this insecurity? How do you deal with it? And for the men here, how do you sincerely feel about this? If the girl you started dating had such a flaw, would it turn you off or do you simply not care?

I would really appreciate some input even if it's only to commiserate =') A big thanks in advance.

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From one teen to all the others

First of all, I’m no expert on anything. I’m 14. (F)

It recently came to many people on this sub’s attention that an increasing number of teens have been posting about wanting to lose weight. After seeing this post, I want to share what I’m doing.

At my last physical the pediatrician said I was overweight, but it didn’t really make any impact on me. I was at a small school with small classes, and I wasn’t being bullied or judged for my weight. Sure, sometimes I felt insecure but mostly I was fine. Then came public high school. And while I’m lucky enough to have great friends and no bullying, I was suddenly aware that I was bigger than other girls. All the insecurity I hadn’t had before kicked in. By March I was sick of feeling like the chubby girl in every class. So I researched weight loss and it seemed to me that CICO and IF were good tools that showed results. They were tried and true and straightforward. More important to me was that I could do them without anyone noticing. Then came Covid and my school shut down. This is great! I thought. I could lose weight at home and have a triumphant return. I started CICO and IF. I fell into a rhythm pretty quickly, and was feeling good for the first 2 weeks. But then I started feeling unsatisfied and craving junk foods. So I would eat those cookie or chips that I craved, and then feel guilty. One night I even thought about making myself throw up to get rid of the extra calories. That scared me. That was bulimia showing its ugly face on my doorstep, and I wasn’t going to let that happen. I had a real WTH am I doing?? moment. I stopped CICO and IF a few weeks ago. As a teen I need to eat breakfast, why was I waiting until 1 pm to eat? Why was I counting and restricting calories when all I need to do is make healthier choices? So I made a change. I stopped counting calories and started eating more fruits and veggies, and less junk food. I’m actively making sure I’m staying hydrated, and I started eating breakfast. All these things have given me more motivation, more energy, and my bowel movements are healthier. Now I’m incorporating some exercise. I’ve started yoga and some Pilates using YouTube. And while the weight isn’t just melting off every week, I feel healthy and good about myself. I realized that sometimes slow and steady is the way to go. Crash dieting won’t help you, and some things just aren’t healthy for growing teens. We have to practice good habits that will last.

Before doing anything to lose weight talk to a physician and your parents or a trusted adult. Also check out this really informative post with some great links to articles and charts.

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Is there any benefit to being lower in the "healthy" BMI range?

5'3 / 22F / CW: 115 pounds / CW: 52.2 kg

Hi everyone. At the start of quarantine in mid-March, I weighed 125 pounds (56.7 kg) which was a weight I had maintained for about two years after a forty pound loss (18 kg). In other words, I already had a BMI that is classified as healthy. However, I was not exercising regularly and felt very pudgy in general so I decided to increase my activity and focus on eating at a deficit again. As a result, I have lost ten pounds (4.5 kg) in the past four months.

My goal weight has always mentally been around 100 to 105 pounds (45.3 to 47.6 kg) as it is towards the bottom of the "healthy" BMI range and would therefore put more distance between myself and an "overweight" BMI. However, weight loss has recently been getting very difficult. I am feeling exhausted despite not doing much outside of my daily exercise (around 30 minutes, sometimes a little over). I am CONSTANTLY hungry - even if I eat high fat or high protein foods that are supposed to increase feelings of satiety - because I have to stay at or below around 1000 calories to lose weight. I will eat a meal and then twenty minutes later feel hungry again. In particular, I lately find myself craving baked goods and literally nothing (not fruit or other healthier options with sugar, not savory meals, not even other food with high fat content, etc.) will make that feeling go away until I eat the specific baked good (I am on my period, but still).

I guess my question is for how long I should keep going. Is there any benefit at this point to me losing more weight to get myself further down into the "healthy" BMI range? I will of course continue to exercise, but I think that creating more of a calorie deficit with my diet will only get increasingly harder. However, my weight fluctuates quite a bit - for the past week (I weight myself every day) I have bounced around between 114 and 115 pounds - and I am scared that upping my calorie intake by around 200 calories or so a day will lead to very rapid and large weight gain. I do NOT want to return to where I was two years ago.

EDIT: I know that BMI is a flawed system that doesn't work for everyone - however, I am not muscular at all nor am I exceptionally tall so I think that it is an accurate measure in my case.

EDIT 2: Figured I'd also mentioned that water intake is no issue for me. I drink 2L on a bad day; it is very normal for me to drink 3L or more in a day.

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Who’s Your Super Hero Alter Ego for Running

Super Hero Nickname Generator is inspired by the latest Running Warm Up video! The last warm up exercise includes a ‘super hero’ style stance to help you channel some super speedy vibes. *You can see the 5 Minute Runner Warm Up here* I know it’s hard to stay positive and motivated to run – especially ... Read More about Who’s Your Super Hero Alter Ego for Running

The post Who’s Your Super Hero Alter Ego for Running appeared first on Run Eat Repeat.

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My sister told me she would be more impressed of my weight loss if I had a job

I graduated college last year, and I used my graduation as a way to turn my life around. I had the resources to take some time off to work on myself, so I did. Since I graduated I put my 200% into my health.

I started small, simple things like removing all liquid calories, drinking water only which I now do 2 gallons a day (give or take of the activities I done in the day), then started counting calories for a deficit (from 2800 all the way down to 1500-1300), started doing more activities as I got more comfortable (walking dog 10 minutes, which later turn to an hour, then speed walking, jogging, jumping rope, and now bike riding), I tried different methods to improve my weight loss such as IF, OMAD, Prolonged Fasting, etc. I started working out at home with a pair of adjustable dumbbells, 4 resistance bands and my own bodyweight.

I never did any of the above all at once, I gradually started something as the previous became part of the norm.

Now, I understand I am SUPER lucky to be in the position where I was able to give myself much needed time to basically change my life around, no kids / responsibilities etc and able to focus solely on myself.

She has done this to me pretty much since I lost the first 40 or 50 pounds. Would give herself the excuse that I only did it because X and she cannot do it. Since the beginning I have TOLD HER I understand where she is coming from, but she does NOT HAVE TO LOOK AT ME FOR INSPIRATION.

I have seen COUNTLESS of parents, people with X amount of responsibilities lose over 100 pounds on this sub and others. I literally show her posts of people similar to her base stats / circumstance which have given me plenty of encouragement to keep going.

She knows I been applying to jobs left and right, but this covid19 thing isn't exactly doing me any favors.

I get it, I had it easy but that doesn't diminish the effort I have put on myself to teach myself things I had seriously no idea before. I gained some much needed discipline and self control, and I know for a fact OTHERS have done as well with a crap ton of responsibilities.

I think it doesn't matter if you lost 5 or 50 pounds, if your situation is worse than mine, I think we are all ultimately doing the best we can to be a better version of ourselves at the end of the day.

Good luck

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B&A 3 mos Steady Weight Loss

Before & After (220 >> 188, Apr-July 2020)

I've always been a yo-yo dieter - but this time has been so different. In the past, I would diet because I hated my body; now, the changes I've made in eating have been an act of kindness for my body. Working out has been an act of kindness, too!

I didn't intend to "go on a diet"... I worked out one day and it felt good, so I worked out again the next day... one thing led to another, and I started my first Whole30 on April 13! Whole30 has been GREAT for changing my habits - even though I know it's "not about weight loss" on Whole30. Anyway. I've made it to Onederland, I'm halfway to my goal weight, I'm enjoying life without sugar, and I'm the healthiest I've been in the last 4 years. I'm hoping that this time it sticks!

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Do yourself a favor and count calories

I've been at the weight loss game for years; making sure to eat veggies, getting in my exercise, thought I was all up on nutrition and had a good idea about what I've been putting in my body. I've calorie counted before and have been trying to get back in the habit, but had a bit of a wake up call this morning when I actually logged what I was eating. Lately one of my go to meals is dry oats + a ripe banana + almond milk + cocoa powder + peanut butter, all mashed together, pretty tasty/nutritious right? Now I know about how calorific PB is and try not to go overboard with that, but didn't pay much mind to the oats, figuring they're super healthy/can't be that bad right? Man, a cup of uncooked oats is 300 calories. %#$!@! I added it all up and I'm at 590 for that meal.

*sigh* Live and learn; its not the end of the world and will just have to adjust for the rest of the day.

But once more for the people in the back, just because something is 'good for you'/ has a lot a of nutritional value, doesn't mean its low in calories, capiche?

Its really not that hard to count calories, you'll thank yourself later, I just wanted to post this to maybe save someone else some grief. Hang in there everybody! Its a marathon, not a sprint ;)

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