The surgery (DUN DUN)

(This is a long one, sorry) So I am a 28 year old man, I have just recently passed 400 pounds which is somewhere I thought I’d never get. I’ve had semi successful weight loss periods in my life but I am addicted to food plain and simple. I’ve had depression since I was young, worse in my teen years than now but nowadays it’s more just a hopelessness with seasonal depression. I eat to cope and I eat when I’m bored. I wouldn’t say there’s a lot of instances of eating throughout the day but when I eat, I EAT. I also consider myself extremely unlucky, call it an excuse, whatever. My most recent successful weight loss experience was 3ish years ago where I basically ate nothing and exercised (walking, lifting weights) I felt great though I wasn’t without cravings and I had a few slip ups but I lost 50+ pounds. As my luck would have it, right when things were looking up, I broke my ankle. I was off my feet for 3 months and just fell into a funk. I’ve pretty much never gotten out of that funk and I’ve gained back all the weight and then some. I’ve tried to start with diet and exercise again but I always fail. Like immediately. As I get closer to my 30’s I’m starting to realise that I wasted my 20’s as an obese waste of space, I haven’t gotten laid since I was 20. The only woman I ever slept with cheated on me with some one VERY close to me and it obviously destroyed me and gave me an inferiority complex. I have been a sexual anorexic ever since. I want to be done being this pathetic loser and I know people will say (you can lose the weight if you just set your mind to it!) but you have to realise that I have believed that too only to fail over and over and over again over an actual DECADE! I don’t want another decade wasted and guys my size might not even make it out of their 30’s! So this whole wall of text boils down to this; what do you guys think of bariatric surgery (I.e. Gastric Bypass, Gastric Sleeve)? I almost got it in my early 20’s but talked my self out of it. My mother got it and unfortunately she became an alcoholic afterwards as so many do, she ended up passing away at 52 from a heart attack while suffering from pneumonia and liver disease. I’m not saying the surgery killed her but idk if she would be dead if she hadn’t gotten it. I want to lose weight but I want to lose a lot of weight. I want a new lease on life. I want to hike, Ride a bike again, ride a rollercoaster again, make love again, not get dirty looks anymore etc.. the surgery scares me but Dying of a heart attack at 35 at 500 pounds scares the shit out of me. There it is. If you read it all I thank you and I’d love to hear your experiences and opinions on all of it, Bye!

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Dealing with Binge Eating and Chronic Fatigue

I'm in my second year of college. I've been trying to lose weight for years now. I make progress, then I'll lose my progress, and I never reach my goal.

Its not about the numbers for me. I just dont want to look fat anymore. I hate my body, to be frank. I want to be fit and capable and I hate feeling weak and slow.

My biggest barrier to weight loss is my binge eating. I don't binge as bad as I used to, but my stupid body has such a bad metabolism that I don't have to eat much to go over. My maintenance calories are so low; its only about 1400-1500. But its not like I feel hungry on my diet. Its just that I crave it emotionally. Its like a drug; it lets me feel better immediately. No other coping mechanism even comes close. I do have other mechanisms, but they dont help as much. And I've tried most of the alternatives.

I do workout. I do weight lifting. And its easy for me to gain muscle since I tend to overeat. But I can't lose fat.

The other thing is, I'm not active in my daily life. Even before quarantine, I've been a sedentary person because I have issues with chronic fatigue due to depression. I only have so much energy every day that I can expend. Once I use it up, its gone, or I borrow from the next day and enter a cycle where I'm always more tired than usual. I also have chronic shin splints and knee issues, so walking/ running, the best exercises to lose weight, are off the table.

Its not like I'm super fat. I'm a 5'4" female, 152 pounds. But I'm not skinny either. I just wish something would change. I want to have energy. I want to lose weight and not hate myself. I do the calorie counting and the working out and try as hard as I can but I just can't lose the weight. I'm so tired. Its so hard to eat less and handle the stress of college at the same time.

My diet is generally healthy, and I pre plan all my meals. But I tend to binge at night. Even if I binge healthy foods, it doesn't matter, I'll gain weight. I dont even have to eat that much cos my metabolism sucks. I'm either super strict or all the weight comes back and I hate it.

It just feels like all the barriers and odds are stacked against me and like this is impossible. Im just doomed to be fat and ugly forever, forever hating myself. My roommates dont understand either. I wanted to post here so I could talk to someone about it.

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I’ve lost 30lb and I’ve started noticed changed in my body and I’m so proud :’)

SW:304 CW: 274 GW: 210-215 So yeah, basically I started taking weight loss seriously right after my 23rd bday@ 304lbs. Today 10/25, I’ve lost 30 lbs. I can even noticed my body changing!!!!! Today I put on a cardigan that I wore a lot last fall and it definitely is a lot bigger on me. My face is thinner. I also have more energy and have now gone 45 days without bingeing :’)

I lost 90lbs in HS when I was 17 and really fucked my body up and ended up with a eating disorder, from 19-21 I was in an extremely abusive relationship, after that I tried countless SSRI and antidepressants and honestly ages 18-21 didn’t give a fuck about my weight or health, I was just hurting in a lot of different ways tbh.

2020 has been a really shitty year but also for me it’s been the year I’ve grown the most. I think a lot of the time alone during isolation I spent just thinking about my life and what I’d like to change. I also found a medication after having some genetic testing done and found out Wellbutrin works best for me and it’s done wonders. Idk what changed, I woke up the day after my birthday and wanted so much more for myself. I stopped drinking my calories, have been eating between 1500-1600 calories daily, 30 mins of yoga daily, and try to get to the gym 3/4 times a week.

My current goal is 260ish by time I get to my graduation date on dec. 19🎉

I’m just really proud of myself, I don’t wanna sound like a pity party but I’ve been through a lot the last 5 years and I’m really proud of how I’ve improved my health. Physically and mentally 🥺🥰

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Help Gaining Intrinsic Motivation

Hi everyone,

**possible TW disordered eating, self image issues

I’m a long time lurker and I’m hoping to reach out to this incredible community. I’m closing in on 200pounds, and I’m 5’2”

The first time I thought I was fat was in 1st grade. I was healthy and exactly the right size, but I was bigger than my friend. The next clear memory I have is in 4th grade at a pool party. The first time I lied about my weight was in 6th grade. I’m a stress eater, a night snacker, a foodie, and my love language is cooking meals. I don’t have an ED, I just have an issue with eating correctly... if that makes sense? I’ve done my best weight loss using Weight Watchers, but I’ve found that after two or three months I slowly stop and slide out of those habits.

I know the “secret” to weight loss: eat healthier foods in reasonable portions and build in some exercise so that your calorie intake is made of the good stuff and you are in a calorie deficit.

I understand that bit, but I can’t do it. I can, for a few months, but then I slide. And slide. And slide. And I’m now the heaviest, and most unhappy, I’ve ever been. So I’m not building habits, I’m dieting.

How did you work on your relationship with food? How did you build that “I want to eat healthy and workout” mentality? How do I get to that mindset? What tools have helped you on that path? Where did you start?

I don’t want to just get skinny, I want to fix my brain along the way. I know the obvious answer is therapy but at this stage of the game, I cannot afford it.

I’m sorry if this is all over the place, I’m struggling and I don’t talk about it with anyone, so I’m not sure what information is relevant or if anything could help someone help me.

Thank you, if you’ve read this far, and for any feedback you can provide.

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Finally, some support

So this has been a long time coming.

I'm 21F, 220lbs/99kg and i've been struggling with my weight since I was very little.

I live with my parents, who have always been big eaters. Pasta and pizza's for dinner were a thing multiple times a week and we used to get fast food a lot when I was a kid. My parents were never really supportive when it came to weightloss, saying stuff like "you're just not built to be skinny" or "why even bother with your eating patterns".

My father got weight loss surgery a year ago and he is doing really good (lost 150 pounds, started working out) and my mother is looking to get surgery as well. This totally changed everything food related around the house.

This leaves me, struggling in coronatimes, trying not to cope by eating every single thing in sight. Last week I decided enough was enough and started seriously tracking what I ate everyday. I started limiting my calories (CICO is a life saver) in LoseIt! And have told my family I am trying to lose weight.

Usually on the weekend we would still have fried food or something pretty unhealthy. Today was one of those days.

I came down for dinner, which my mom makes on the weekends, and was surprised to not see a plate of fried food at my place at the table. She said "well I know you're trying to lose weight so I just wanted to ask you if you wanted anything other than fried food?"

I was genuinely surprised by this support in my weight loss. She has never showed support like this and usually buys stuff she knows I like to eat when I say I'm on a diet ( spanish moms am i right).

I ate some chickenbreast with noodles and vegetables tonight.

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How to build better eating habits

Atomic Habits for Eating

I recently read James Clear’s Atomic Habits and was inspired to take a look at the way habits impact how we eat, and, as a result, our weight and health.

James Clear discusses the pervasiveness of habits in our lives, with almost every action we take being the result of the accumulation of habits.

What is a Habit?

In the problem phase of a habit, you have a cue and then a craving. In the solution phase of a habit, you have a response and a reward.

With this in mind, habits are strongly contextual – based on time, place, and other factors like hunger levels.

There is also a strong focus on moving away from goals and into systems to develop new habits.

Examples of Eating Habits

As an example of a typical habit cycle, it is lunch, and I have walked into my kitchen. I see the blender, a cue. I crave food, so I start making a smoothie, my response. The reward is a healthy lunch.

This is part of the system I have in place to maintain my current weight and health.

An example of a prior habit would be my evening snack habit. It is 7p, after dinner, and I am settling in to watch video game videos on YouTube. The cue is the time and place, and my pantry has a Costco bag of tortilla chips. I begin to crave a snack, so I fill a large bowl with chips, get a Costco bar of Cheddar Cheese out of the refrigerator and get a thick slice of cheese, my response. The reward is 750 calories of unnecessary snack on top of three or four meals for the day.

Broken System

The system for that habit resulted in obesity, high blood pressure, and other health issues exacerbated by overeating and being physically inactive.

The Laws of Habit Formation

James Clear talks about the process for creating and destroying habits:

1st Law – make it obvious

Put out a bowl of apples on a counter

Make a defined healthy grocery list

2nd Law – Make it attractive

Stack healthy habits – add a small reward to a healthy habit

After you eat a healthy meal, do something you consider rewarding (check Reddit, or eat a small piece of chocolate)

Join a group like r/loseit where the desired behavior is normal

3rd Law – Make it Easy

Meal prep for the week ahead or meal plan for each meal

Eliminate options that are not healthy by not buying them

Automate – if you get groceries delivered, take advantage of removed grocery store cues

4th Law – Make it Satisfying

Use a habit tracker like Myfitnesspal

Created chains of activity, like meeting your calorie goal for the day, and don’t break the chain.

Never miss twice, give yourself a break if you don’t make it for a day, but never start a negative chain.

How to Destroy Habits

Alternatively, destroying a habit can also be valuable.

Make things you don’t want to eat invisible – hide them, don’t buy them, or have someone take them away. My example was to stop buying giant bags of chips and giant bars of cheese.

Make things you don’t want to eat unattractive – create a penalty for eating poorly, like having to donate to a charity you don’t support or losing access to Facebook (which may not be a bad thing). If I started putting on weight again, I would have to explain to my friends at the BJJ gym I had been eating poorly.

Make it more difficult to eat in a certain way by adding friction in the process – make a commitment to eat a certain way publicly and then disclose how you are doing, but also look at different ways to make it harder to eat as you have been. Get your spouse to take over buying groceries – my wife does a great job of making sure I don’t eat badly.

Make it unsatisfying by getting a friend, loved one, or even someone on r/loseit to be your accountability partner. Create a contract with yourself to make life better for future you, but also to make failure to comply public and painful.

Final Thoughts

I know there is a lot to unpack here, but read Atomic Habits if you want to learn more.

It is packed with valuable insight and would have been very effective in my weight loss process had I found it earlier.

I am happy to answer any questions or provide support to those who need it.

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I want to lose weight but I have digestive issues.

Hello ! This is my first ever reddit post and out of a lot of desparation I am asking reddit for some help ^{_^} Please excuse my English, I am from bangladesh. This may seem like I'm dumping all my problems here but I'm very new to weight loss and dieting so a little help and advice would mean a lot to me as I'm unable to either go to gym or see a nutritionist. I'm around 5'6 and 67 kgs and I'm very unhappy with my weight ,always have been. There were times I would starve myself to the point I've had ulcer and gas, I didn't know about proper diet , I thought I could lose weight by starving but that would lead me to over eating whenever I did eat and cause my stomach to hurt and have gas. (Current diet is really bad , consists of rice and curries , but i wish to change it ) Some advice would be nice on where to start and what would me good. I will start exercise too. Thank you very much ^{_^}

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