Sunday, August 1, 2021

Self-compassion is my only path forward

'Consistency is key'

How many times have we heard this when it come to exercise and diet?

This is what we're told but nobody teaches you how to be consistent.

I've recently started exercising and it's almost been a month now. I have the momentum to keep going.

I haven't pondered until now about why this time is different, but today it's become so clear to me that it's because I've learned self-compassion.

Self-compassion begets consistency. If I can't do a single push up I tell myself that's alright, scale to the knees and do what you can. If my body hurts I say that's okay, this is a new practice and maybe all you can do is a walk today. I am driven to exercise because of the mental clarity and peace I feel at the end of my workout, and I tell myself "I am proud of you." I am proud even when my workout lasts just 10 minutes, or even when I'm not able to do a certain movement.

I've finally relieved myself of unfair expectations that I should already be strong enough or why can't I just do x 'like everyone else.'

I didn't know when I learned self-compassion earlier this year (in a moment completely unrelated to weight loss) that it would help me with this goal today.

Life will throw shit your way. You will most certainly experience hardship, and from personal experience you can only make things harder when you shame yourself.

I hope you are proud of yourself today for trying, or even thinking about trying for your goal. The mere thought of trying is a bit of hope you've put in yourself, and if you foster that hope and protect it you will go farther than you think.

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Day 1? Starting your weight loss journey on Monday, 02 August 2021? Start here!

Today is your Day 1?

Welcome to r/Loseit!

So you aren’t sure of how to start? Don’t worry! “How do I get started?” is our most asked question. r/Loseit has helped our users lose over 1,000,000 recorded pounds and these are the steps that we’ve found most useful for getting started.

Why you’re overweight

Our bodies are amazing (yes, yours too!). In order to survive before supermarkets, we had to be able to store energy to get us through lean times, we store this energy as adipose fat tissue. If you put more energy into your body than it needs, it stores it, for (potential) later use. When you put in less than it needs, it uses the stored energy. The more energy you have stored, the more overweight you are. The trick is to get your body to use the stored energy, which can only be done if you give it less energy than it needs, consistently.

Before You Start

The very first step is calculating your calorie needs. You can do that HERE. This will give you an approximation of your calorie needs for the day. The next step is to figure how quickly you want to lose the fat. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. So to lose 1 pound of fat per week you will need to consume 500 calories less than your TDEE (daily calorie needs from the link above). 750 calories less will result in 1.5 pounds and 1000 calories is an aggressive 2 pounds per week.

Tracking

Here is where it begins to resemble work. The most efficient way to lose the weight you desire is to track your calorie intake. This has gotten much simpler over the years and today it can be done right from your smartphone or computer. r/loseit recommends an app like MyFitnessPal, Loseit! (unaffiliated), or Cronometer. Create an account and be honest with it about your current stats, activities, and goals. This is your tracker and no one else needs to see it so don’t cheat the numbers. You’ll find large user created databases that make logging and tracking your food and drinks easy with just the tap of the screen or the push of a button. We also highly recommend the use of a digital kitchen scale for accuracy. Knowing how much of what you're eating is more important than what you're eating. Why? This may explain it.

Creating Your Deficit

How do you create a deficit? This is up to you. r/loseit has a few recommendations but ultimately that decision is yours. There is no perfect diet for everyone. There is a perfect diet for you and you can create it. You can eat less of exactly what you eat now. If you like pizza you can have pizza. Have 2 slices instead of 4. You can try lower calorie replacements for calorie dense foods. Some of the communities favorites are cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash in place of their more calorie rich cousins. If it appeals to you an entire dietary change like Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian.

The most important thing to remember is that this selection of foods works for you. Sustainability is the key to long term weight management success. If you hate what you’re eating you won’t stick to it.

Exercise

Is NOT mandatory. You can lose fat and create a deficit through diet alone. There is no requirement of exercise to lose weight.

It has it’s own benefits though. You will burn extra calories. Exercise is shown to be beneficial to mental health and creates an endorphin rush as well. It makes people feel *awesome* and has been linked to higher rates of long term success when physical activity is included in lifestyle changes.

Crawl, Walk, Run

It can seem like one needs to make a 180 degree course correction to find success. That isn’t necessarily true. Many of our users find that creating small initial changes that build a foundation allows them to progress forward in even, sustained, increments.

Acceptance

You will struggle. We have all struggled. This is natural. There is no tip or trick to get through this though. We encourage you to recognize why you are struggling and forgive yourself for whatever reason that may be. If you overindulged at your last meal that is ok. You can resolve to make the next meal better.

Do not let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress. We don’t need perfect. We just want better.

Additional resources

Now you’re ready to do this. Here are more details, that may help you refine your plan.

* Lose It Compendium - Frame it out!

* FAQ - Answers to our most Frequently Asked Questions!

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Lack of Support Rant

I started my weight loss journey in April and have lost a significant amount-- 41 pounds. Though it's not really important to this post, in the last week I've actually started trying to stop losing and begin body recomposition. I'm nearly 10 pounds below my original goal weight and am now just trying to change how I look-- more toned stomach, more muscle, etc.

Anyway, throughout this journey, I haven't really had the support that I expected I would.

My wife has consistently stated that I'm losing weight to find another wife. It started as a half-joke, but she's actually serious. She's self conscious because she's gained weight after having two kids. Obviously, I do everything I can to reassure her and have never once indicated that I would ever leave her. I love her. But I absolutely despise when she brings that up though, even if half joking. I've told her as such.

Tonight I also learned that my parents think I'm going through a mid-life crisis...At 34.

I've gotten compliments from some extended family and a bunch from colleagues at work ("I didn't recognize you", etc). But these don't really stick for some reason. It's my wife and apparently now my parents.

I don't get it. What the hell is wrong with trying to get into better shape simply because I want to? I know the answer to that is "absolutely nothing", but why can't anyone else see it that way?

I'm losing weight because I was tired of getting winded walking up stairs at work. Tired of clothes feeling tight. Scared of becoming morbidly obese. Tired of just being... Tired.

Now I'm body recomping because I've lost a bunch of weight but still have a belly bigger than I want. I still have anywhere from 22-25% body fat, using a calculator online and waist and neck measurements (not super accurate, but probably in the ballpark). I've worked incredibly hard over the past few months, sacrificed a lot of meals, early morning exercises, and have really pushed myself. If I'm not where I want to be after all that work, then I'm not just going to give up. I'm going to push through because I want to look and feel better and continuing is what it takes.

I want to improve my health and image because I want to. I don't have to justify it. Not to anyone.

Honestly, everyone else can back the fuck off or get on board.

/EndRant

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Starting again…

This journey has been a lifelong struggle. Last year I found I have PCOS so I’ve been trying to navigate that as well. I had some success earlier this year but I got a bit off track.

Anyway, I’m starting again this month with a fresh perspective and renewed motivation 😁 this is my accountability post, I guess.

I am going to be doing keto as I generally do better when eating lower carb. I’m also going to aim to be active more each day - I have an Apple Watch I’m going to use to help keep track of this (and also Carb Manager to track what I eat). I have set some small goals and a reward system that’s not food related at all.

I’m feeling pretty motivated already but I want to know - What motivates you on your weight loss journey?

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Help with ideas for type of diet strategy

I recently received some test results show my A1c levels are in the prediabetes zone and am needing to drop some (a lot of) weight. I already have high cholesterol and high blood pressure and am just to the point where enough is enough. I had lost about 80 pounds around 4-5 years ago before the birth of my daughter trying to live a healthier lifestyle in a lead by example kind of strategy, but due to various set backs, the stress of having a baby and other stresses in my life I folded and went back to my old familiar way of eating and gained all that back plus some. I have had almost zero energy to put towards any weight loss effort and have tried a couple times to drop some weight and can barely last a week. I’m just interested in suggestions of diet types to help lower my blood sugar and cholesterol as I’m not very familiar with the blood sugar aspect of it. My other big issue is my wife, part of my problem last time during my weight loss is she was incredibly angry about me losing weight while she was pregnant and was kinda sabotaging towards my goals (constantly buying unhealthy foods,ect.), and made it really easy for me to slip up. I’m not claiming she will do that this time, but I also don’t expect her to be helpful in my efforts. I know a lot of strategies involve controlling your environment and that has worked well for me in the past. So are there any things to do if you don’t have control over the foods around you? There have been times when we’ve tried to diet together and she still likes to make sort of complicated recipes that are kinda pseudo healthy and hard to track for doing CICO, where I don’t really mind somewhat repetitive eating of simple meals that are easy to track. I’m concerned I might have to decouple my eating from her entirely and don’t really know how to approach that situation. I’ve been able to find middle ground in the past, but my eating habits have been so terrible as of late that I just feel like it’s going to be so easy to slip into my old ways and I just tend to let things snowball once they start. Thanks in advance for any advice. I am going to start tomorrow so wish me luck!

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Struggling hard ... Jumping to extremes

I am 5'9" 230# and am struggling hard with my weight. I am ready to jump to extremes. I have been doing keto but am no longer losing. Now I am thinking about fasting three days a week, continuing keto and limiting my calorie intake to 1500 a day.

I am 41, single, no kids, low libido, no morning wood, I just changed careers after two decades in the former, and just feeling like I have failed in life and a lot of it is tied to my weight.

I know someone will respond to this saying that the weight loss isn't going to help and while that may in fact be true I have to do whatever I can to pull myself out of this dark place.

With that, if you have any suggestions on how I can lose weight please let me know. I just started Jefit workout plan to go alongside the new eating lifestyle.

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Cravings for sugar/junk food has been increasing since party at work

Last week on Monday, it was a coworkers birthday and we had some cake. At first I told them no but they insisted I had a small slice of cake. Cake is my weakness and I decided to get a very small piece of cake and I didn’t feel guilty. I was upset that I relented but I got over it. Fast forward to Friday, it was my one of my coworkers last day and of course, they brought 3 different types of cakes and pizza. I ate a little over 2100 calories that day and since then I feel like my appetite for sugar and junk food has increased.

Since yesterday and today, I find myself craving for some type of sugar or junk food in the house. I did eat some but I didn’t go over board. I usually stick to 1300 calories since I started my weight loss but I ended up eating 1500 yesterday and 1600 calories today. Those extra calories came from sugary food and chips like Cheetos, although I did restrict how much I had. I usually don’t feel guilty if I go over 1300 but only with healthy food. I know it’s not a lot but I know myself and want to stop before it gets worse so I’d love any tips that you recommend to stop these sudden cravings.

I also want to know if are ways to stop coworkers pressuring you to eat? This isn’t the first time this happened and I’ve told them that on a “diet.” They’re also one of those people that talk about obese people in front of me and make negative comments, but yet pressure me to eat sweets and junk food when there’s party or when someone bring treats in, which happens multiple times a week.

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