Having your heart broken helps! (35M) (SV) -65lbs!

Hi guys, first post Im'ma give it my best to make the post worthwhile!

I stepped on the scale at work today to see 99kg (Going to use lbs from here on but my scale at work is kg and it was a nice number!). I literally thought the scale was wrong at first. "Is this one broken?" was the first through to go through my head. However this is the culmination of about two years of "work" and one year of actual work.

2 years ago I met a lady who seemed to be a dream come true for me. And while I'm tempted to go into the long, sad story, that's not the point of this post nor subreddit. It ended with, "Well Clay, I thought you were going to lose weight and you really haven't. You know I'm not attracted to fat guys. Goodbye."

I was devastated. When I met her I was 270lbs. This was my biggest in over a decade and a half and I was determined to work on it anyway. I had previously gone from 300lbs to 199lbs in college. So the journey began!

Over the year i tried various things but just couldn't get down below 250! I tried one meal a day and keto, primarily. However I was struggling. The one meal a day was often 2k calories or more, and on keto I was hamstrung by family coming over to offer free food or ask me to pick them up something. (It bears mentioning my stepdad has been losing weight for no really well explained reason and mom was having me get him things like milkshakes to give him calories.... I was too weak to not say no to milkshakes!) I was getting frustrated and 250lb was a "checkpoint weight" for g/f and I that I. Just. Couldn't. Reach.

I tried adding weightlifting to my routine, biking, etc. If you think about the timeline...guess what happened around this time? Yup, Covid. It became difficult to go the gym but i lucked up with a friend of mine having a home gym but it wasn't as good as PF. Then I had KNEE SURGERY for a torn meniscus from a fall before. I had a lot going against me and due to that I struggled.

The break up came and went as described above. After a bit of a pity party, I started to get mad... I started to get pissed and I started to get motivated! Aaron Bleyaert famously tweeted something to the effect of "Want to lose weight? Get your heart broken!" Oh, I found it! and boy do I agree with that advice now. I had always planned on getting back on keto, but suddenly the hunger pains didn't bother me as bad. The food was less an issue than me worrying about self improvement. I also got back to work which helped a lot, having a routine and schedule (plus on this contract i was on my feet a lot.) I essentially combined Keto with OMAD, with the small exception of allowing myself some kind of snack if I were hungry. Only enough to not be hungry though! I'm talking about one keto peanut butter cup or one smoked sausage, that kinda thing.

The weight started coming off! Before I knew it I had blasted past the 250lb barrier that had stopped me before. I found myself eating less, even for my one meal. I found that, for the most part, my cravings went away. I do allow myself one cheat meal a week, though. It is enough to keep me satisfied and I find it doesn't blow my ketosis. I eat more veggies than off keto. I honestly think i can eat like this forever.

So, motivation coming from heartache is not something that most people would want/can/need to experience. I think the motivation needs to come from within. Maybe having a boost is fine but at the end of the day it comes from you! This is encapsulated in something that happened to me early this year. I was nearing the end of my contract and that meant a cross country drive. I figured "eh I'm already gonna have to eat out on the drive, might as well start now! (Almost two weeks early)" I had myself a few off-keto meals and then...

I was holding a platter of sushi from a grocery store. I love sushi. Then why am I borderline in tears holding this sushi? I was feeling like shit. I was thinking of the progress I had made and how these past few meals was ruining it. I knew I was bumping up on ruining my ketosis and, while confident I could reign it in eventually, I do not have a 100% success rate.... But I hadn't had sushi in a while...

I wish I could tell you I put the sushi down. I wish I could at least tell you it was some amazing sushi that was totally worth it. It wasn't. It was garbage supermarket-grade sushi and I bought it and eat that shit like the fatass I was, seasoning it not with soy sauce but the tears of my own weakness. BUT! I decided to get my shit back together, stop right after that and even did my best to stay on keto during the drive home.

Honestly, I think that's about all there is to say. After that incident I've been very strict on myself to not go off any more than my usual cheat days. I also eat well for my meal. I've gotten to where my food is just a thing I do, not something I think about all day, everyday. And today, after not even really worrying about weighing myself often anymore, I checked on myself and saw 99kg... NINETY-NINE kilograms! Want some NSV? My old 42in pants I have worn for like 5 years literally can't stay up anymore. I had to buy new pants!

I'd say the takeaway is that outside factors can influence us and our performance. But I think its important to find the reason to do things for yourself (and what works for you.) I think if my weight loss had been simply motivated by something as superficial as "Ugh I'm so mad at her!" I wouldn't had stopped after that sushi... Celebrate the successes. Be strict on yourself but also congratulate yourself on the lbs lost. I won't lie to you and tell you there weren't times I thought, "Well I'm 245lbs now and that's only ten pounds less..." with some element of disappointment. But time will march on. You can be ten pounds less in two months or two years but you'll still reach that time all the same. Take the steps.

Edit; great. Miscalculated. It was actually 55lbs not 65. Whoops

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Day 1? Starting your weight loss journey on Sunday, 08 August 2021? Start here!

Today is your Day 1?

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Welcome to r/Loseit!

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So you aren’t sure of how to start? Don’t worry! “How do I get started?” is our most asked question. r/Loseit has helped our users lose over 1,000,000 recorded pounds and these are the steps that we’ve found most useful for getting started.

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Why you’re overweight

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Our bodies are amazing (yes, yours too!). In order to survive before supermarkets, we had to be able to store energy to get us through lean times, we store this energy as adipose fat tissue. If you put more energy into your body than it needs, it stores it, for (potential) later use. When you put in less than it needs, it uses the stored energy. The more energy you have stored, the more overweight you are. The trick is to get your body to use the stored energy, which can only be done if you give it less energy than it needs, consistently.

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Before You Start

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The very first step is calculating your calorie needs. You can do that HERE. This will give you an approximation of your calorie needs for the day. The next step is to figure how quickly you want to lose the fat. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. So to lose 1 pound of fat per week you will need to consume 500 calories less than your TDEE (daily calorie needs from the link above). 750 calories less will result in 1.5 pounds and 1000 calories is an aggressive 2 pounds per week.

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Tracking

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Here is where it begins to resemble work. The most efficient way to lose the weight you desire is to track your calorie intake. This has gotten much simpler over the years and today it can be done right from your smartphone or computer. r/loseit recommends an app like MyFitnessPal, Loseit! (unaffiliated), or Cronometer. Create an account and be honest with it about your current stats, activities, and goals. This is your tracker and no one else needs to see it so don’t cheat the numbers. You’ll find large user created databases that make logging and tracking your food and drinks easy with just the tap of the screen or the push of a button. We also highly recommend the use of a digital kitchen scale for accuracy. Knowing how much of what you're eating is more important than what you're eating. Why? This may explain it.

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Creating Your Deficit

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How do you create a deficit? This is up to you. r/loseit has a few recommendations but ultimately that decision is yours. There is no perfect diet for everyone. There is a perfect diet for you and you can create it. You can eat less of exactly what you eat now. If you like pizza you can have pizza. Have 2 slices instead of 4. You can try lower calorie replacements for calorie dense foods. Some of the communities favorites are cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash in place of their more calorie rich cousins. If it appeals to you an entire dietary change like Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian.

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The most important thing to remember is that this selection of foods works for you. Sustainability is the key to long term weight management success. If you hate what you’re eating you won’t stick to it.

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Exercise

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Is NOT mandatory. You can lose fat and create a deficit through diet alone. There is no requirement of exercise to lose weight.

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It has it’s own benefits though. You will burn extra calories. Exercise is shown to be beneficial to mental health and creates an endorphin rush as well. It makes people feel *awesome* and has been linked to higher rates of long term success when physical activity is included in lifestyle changes.

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Crawl, Walk, Run

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It can seem like one needs to make a 180 degree course correction to find success. That isn’t necessarily true. Many of our users find that creating small initial changes that build a foundation allows them to progress forward in even, sustained, increments.

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Acceptance

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You will struggle. We have all struggled. This is natural. There is no tip or trick to get through this though. We encourage you to recognize why you are struggling and forgive yourself for whatever reason that may be. If you overindulged at your last meal that is ok. You can resolve to make the next meal better.

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Do not let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress. We don’t need perfect. We just want better.

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Additional resources

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Now you’re ready to do this. Here are more details, that may help you refine your plan.

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• Quick Start Guide - Build your foundation!

* Lose It Compendium - Frame it out!

* FAQ - Answers to our most Frequently Asked Questions!

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Have you ever had to take a step back in order to heal a relationship with food? I feel torn between taking it slow and being healthy vs rushing the journey so I can be perfect.

I have PCOS. I feel like weight loss with the added on health concern feels much more stressful cause I know you can eat anything and lose weight at a deficient but when you’re prediabetic, your periods are absent and you have thinning hair and high cholesterol — that’s not necessarily the best route.

I weigh myself daily and I get upset when there’s a fluctuation but I also obsess over food every single day. The internet has become so overwhelming. It was much easier to lose weight when I was 13 and I was told, “Move more, eat less”, I didn’t track a calorie at all (I was eating less) and I was exercising 5 days a week for an hour or longer.

Now it feels so hard to get back to that point as I’m 23 now and back then I had my dad but this journey is now my own.

I rush through my plate. I struggle to trust my body. I don’t want to eat poorly anymore nor rely on take out to sustain me. I feel so hungry and powerless all of the time and I feel like screaming.

I hope to take it day by day but I’m just here venting…. I’m all over the place and I just feel so weak.

Truth be told I’m in a rush to lose weight to start my life because I always felt too ugly or too fat to be loved as I am, to experience intimacy or life in general. I’ve never been kissed.

Im here as a means for help. Im in therapy and we have discussed this but it’s not been helping. Some things take time I suppose

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Do you miss not feeling "controlled" by what you can eat?

Hi there! I've personally lost weight a few times in the past and have always gained it back to hit another all-time high. About 40 days ago, I realized I got to a massive all-time high and it freaked me out so I started my "diet" again. Since then, I'm down ~15 pounds or so. I don't feel miserable or unhappy and I'm essentially doing CICO, trying to get in as much protein as possible, and eating meals I enjoy (with proper substitutions like low-fat cheese, low-carb tortillas, lean meats instead of their fattier versions, etc.)

In all the times I've lost weight in the past, I never actually hit my goal weight but would always lose 15-20 pounds and then "take a break" and gain it all back. That's why I feel better about this time because I'm determined to get to my goal weight but I'm doing it in phases (the first phase ends in 20 days and I'll have maybe one cheat day and a little bit of time on maintenance before starting phase two).

All of that being said, I've told myself that this is my final weight loss journey. I'm losing it and keeping it off this time because I'm sick of "losing" weight all the time. But a part of me is terrified about falling off the wagon and gaining it all back like before. Is there anything you guys have done to deal with this mentally? Also, sometimes I feel so controlled (even though my diet is not very restrictive) but at times I miss stuffing my face with fast food to my heart's content and not having a care in the world about calories, even though it made me feel horrible after and, well, caused me to gain so much weight.

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The scale was WRONG!

I (24F) started my weight loss journey in early 2021. 5 months in, after cooking at home, weighing my food, tracking my intake, and using Peloton a couple of times a week, I lost 20 lbs! I could see some gain in muscle and looked more toned than when I started. I decided to keep up my routine and not weigh myself every day, but rather every couple of weeks.

After going on vacation and relaxing for some time, I weighed myself... and realized I had gained all the weight back.

I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering where this new weight had decided to settle. I wondered if I was just bloated with water weight, because I didn't look like I did when I first started my weight loss journey.

After freaking out for a couple of days, I decided not to wallow and go back to what I knew was working, but wasn't showing up on the scale.

Well, today I was staying at my parents' home and noticed they had a scale. I stepped on and saw that I WAS actually 20 lbs lighter than my starting weight!

Turns out, my "smart" scale was not calibrated properly and was displaying an inaccurate number.

This has truly made me realize that the scale IS just a number, and that whatever was on that scale didn't change the fact that I did lose fat, gain muscle, and learn how to take better care of myself.

I will still be using the scale, but I've learned not to rely on it when the change is something I can see in the mirror and feel in my bones!

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Social Effects of Weight Loss

Long time lurker, first time poster (using throwaway for this). But... has anyone noticed a difference in how they're treated in social situations or even just in public in general since losing weight? Cause I just need to rant a bit (hopefully its allowed)

Over the past three years, I've lost 80 lbs and gone through a body recomp going from 210 lbs to 130 lbs (5'6" F, 25) after being obese my whole life. I'm now maintaining aside from continuing to tone up/build muscle. I was lucky in how I lost weight in that I lost almost all of it from my stomach and face while maintaining my boobs and butt, so I went from an apple shape to an hourglass shape.

Before I lost weight, I was pretty much invisible in social situations. People in public acted like I didn't exist and I was always that token fat friend amongst my social groups. Now... everything is different. Strangers notice me... but not necessarily in a good way? Men are friendlier and more talkative in general, but it almost always leads into flirting or trying to ask me out. The worst of them leer, make vulgar comments and just overall act creepy (I know not ALL guys are like this, so pls don't pm me anything angry about that). I've also noticed that women in general are ruder to me than before... but I don't think I'm acting any different to provoke that kind of reaction.

Many of my friends no longer invite me out as much and almost act like they're threatened when I'm around their boyfriends or go to bars with them (since I get attention there now too; before I never did). I also get unwanted comments from friends, coworkers and family about what I'm eating, how I'm "starving myself", and them trying to push food on me or claiming that I'm not "enjoying life" because I stopped eating as much junk food. Basically trying to get me to gain weight back.

I was so excited about losing weight as I can now dress more fashionably and pull off styles I never could before... but now that I'm there I feel like I want to hide in my oversized clothes again to try to avoid the attention I'm getting. It sucks lmao. At least I feel better health-wise.

Rant over, but I'd be interested to hear if anyone else who has been successful in weight loss experienced this.

TLDR: Lost a bunch of weight, now people treat me different but not necessarily in a good way.

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Mini trampolines for weight loss and exercise goals

I just wanted to share how helpful using a mini trampoline has been for me in the past year.

Like many others, the pandemic took a toll on my fitness and weight loss efforts. Where I live, gyms were closed and masks were required while walking outdoors, even when no one else was around, so I pretty much stopped exercising. It was upsetting, and my diet also got worse from not exercising (out of boredom and feeling less motivated, I guess).

I finally had enough and bought a mini trampoline from Walmart for about $35, and it's been a great purchase! I use it to jog in place as a replacement for a treadmill or elliptical. There are other ways to use it for resistance training as well, but I'm a cardio queen so I can't give my personal experience with that.

Although I bought it for use during quarantine, I still love using it for a daily workout. It's really great for moments when I don't feel like leaving the house, and also when my motivation is low and don't feel like going to the gym. When I lack motivation, I can convince myself to do a 10-minute jog on the trampoline, and I often continue longer or keep doing mini-workouts throughout the day. This is also really great if I don't have time for a full workout. I live in an apartment, and it takes up barely any space. I've also asked my downstairs neighbor if she can hear any sort of pounding when I use the trampoline, and she said that she's never had.

TL;DR: Mini trampolines can be an affordable, portable, convenient tool to add to an exercise routine.

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