Sunday, June 8, 2025

Emotional eating , trauma and weight gain

I'm a 36 year old guy. I'm 6 ft 1 and weigh around 140kg. I am single, trying to date but it's very clear no woman wants a man who weighs this much.

I always had an issue with my weight, I was molested when I was 8 years old and my family's staple of high carb diet didn't help at all. I always ate till I was overly full, there was no moderation. Some of my earliest memories were my friends laughing at how much I ate and my uncle telling my mother he thinks I eat far too much for my age.

I hated sports till I reached my 20s. During my early to mid 20s I was full of rage as the memories of what I had to go through started affecting me more and more. At university I studied medicine and I decided to take up boxing. I loved it and did very well in the sport, my grades were very good too but one day unfortunately I was standing in front of a group of girls in the gym , doing squats as a warm up and one of them groped my rear. I was too terrified to speak out but I still remember I was in a hazey, numb state for a good 2 weeks. I immediately quit the sport and my grades plummeted to where I went from being first of the class to getting kicked out of university. That was the last time I ever hit the gym.

Since then I have been yo-yo dieting. There were times in my life in my late 20s when I would work out at home obsessively almost to the point of near passing out but that sort of lifestyle is never sustainable so I'd give up, gain a whole bunch of weight and start again. Since covid though, despite all my efforts I haven't been able to slim down.

Im quite frankly tired of lying to people who show concern about my health. I have gotten to the point where I eat lunch alone at work, as a manager I attend dinners with other colleagues where I'd order a salad to show everyone that I'm very fat but I'm eating healthy but then immediately go to KFC on the way home and order a 10 piece bargain bucket all to myself and eat the chips the next day. I still live at home (I'll be moving to my new apartment in a month) and to bypass my mother who keeps a strict inventory of food in the kitchen and pantry, I usually snack at 2am when everyone's gone to sleep by ordering McDonald's at the 24 hour drive through.

This fat is not only killing me, it's made my life so much harder. Having to constantly hide myself from eveyome is exhausting. When I go to the office I am the only one who takes the lift, I go earlier than everyone so no one sees me avoid the stairs and how much the lift dips when I step on. I can't urinate properly, I have to sit down to pee and that involves fumbling around all the fat to find my pathetic manhood. I can't wipe my rear properly either, my arms aren't that flexible anymore. I'm tired all the time as I can't sleep properly and I went from looking young to looking like I'm at least early to mid 40s. I don't look at myself in the mirror and I avoid all glass reflections.

Today was the last straw when I was at a funfair with my friends kids for their birthday (they're twins) They wanted to go on one of the rollercoasters and as my friend recently had a knee surgery he was in a wheelchair so I decided to go. I couldn't fit on the ride, the staff there said the kids couldn't ride without an adult and I wasn't allowed to ride because I was too fat so we ended up going home. I tried arguing with the staff there but they weren't having it. The kids were extremely disappointed , they were crying for most of the journey home and as soon as I got home I burst into tears and have been unable to stop crying for a good hour. This is my lowest point , I can't believe I let things get this far. Even now, I ordered a large stuffed crust pizza out of desperation and hurt. I went From running half marathons with a pace of being under 5mins per KM to being unable to walk up one flight of stairs or fit in a rollercoaster.

Is it too late for me? I know weight loss gets harder when we reach our mid to late 30s but is my life now completely ruined with no hope?

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Anyone else dislike their post weight loss body? 😔

TL;DR

In my 20's at 220 to 250, I was curvy and solid hourglass. At my max of 325 (30's), i was still hourglass, just a very large version and not as deep of a waist definition. Now, at 40, I've lost about 40lbs in 6 months and am no longer a solid hourglass. At 235, my shape is now soft hourglass (barely). My hip to waist ratio is crap and I wish I would have stayed at 250, or 245. I can weight train, but it will not get that soft curve back.

DETAILED STORY:

I've always been very solid, very statuesque, and very curvy. In my early 20s, I gained a few pounds and I lost it. At 25, I was curvy, ideal size, busty hips, hourglass shape.

Early 30s, I gained weight, lost, gained, but for the most part, I stayed heavy, with intermittent parts of being slimmer. I'm 6 feet tall, I went up to 320 pounds. I stayed there for maybe a year. then lost it. But I ranged around 260 for a while, and then 300 for a while.

In my late 30s, I finally lost a significant amount of weight. I went from the 3 somethings to 260. I maintained 260 for over a year and a half and I was still curvy/voluptuous/hourglass. I went down to 250, 248. At that point, I was jogging a few times a week, no weight training, nothing else. I was still curvy. I was nice, actually. I think that was my ideal for me. My hip to waist ratio was very nice. My stomach wasn't flat, but it wasn't big, especially compared to the rest of my body. My boobs were still busty, and I still had a lot of cleavage.

At that point, and this was like a year and a half ago, I gained 30 pounds and went up to 280. I stayed at 280 for about six months. Then from this Feb until now, I went doen to 233. Now, while going down to 233, I enjoyed it. I saw the changes, and I loved it. However, once I got to 240, 233, I noticed significant changes. I was back to my weight of when I was in my early 20s, but I didn't have the same body. I know my muscle mass is different. I don't have the same amount of muscle as in my 20s. However, I lost a lot of cleavage, and cleavage is really what makes your breasts look bigger. Although you can have a large size of breasts, but if you don't have enough cleavage, it won't look as big. It won't have that oomph.

So I lost a lot of cleavage. There's that. My hips are starting to go down now, but my belly is not going down to match my hips. I don't know if eventually the belly will catch up, but I've already lost a lot of belly, but now I'm losing hip, and it's not looking right. I'm looking more square. Not fully square, but I'm looking more square. My hip-to-waist ratio is not as deep, not as defined, and I'm hating it, honestly.

I don't like it, and I'm at a point where I wish I would have stayed at 250 and just weight trained. Now I'm like 236, and I don't like it one bit. People are saying weight train, weight train, but when you weight train, you can build the muscle in your hips, but that fat that gives you the nice curve, you can't add that back in. So it's kind of crummy. It makes me feel like I should have stayed at 250 and just had lipo for the stomach and maintained everything else.

So at this point...People are telling me, just weight train and it'll get better. Weight train your butt, weight train your hips. And it sucks because my waist was 35 and my hips were 48. Now, my waist is still 35 and my hips are 45. And here's the thing, I've always been curvy since about 13. I've always been busty and curvy. Even in my slim weight, I still had an hourglass curve. When I gained weight, my curve became much more pronounced, significant. When I gained weight, I was still solid hourglass, but I was just a bigger version of my older self.

Now, I'm slimmer. I'm at the weight when I was in my early 20s. I am not hourglass anymore. I'm a soft hourglass as opposed to a solid hourglass. And that makes a difference and it's really hurting my feelings.What hurts the most is that I can't really, it's hard to get advice or talk to anybody about it because they don't get it. Either some people are like, you lost weight, shut up. Or those people are like, oh, you're fine, you're still shapely. And other people are like, oh, so what? You know, everyone has their own thing, but you're the one dealing with it. And so what matters most is how you feel, how the individual feels.

I'm hoping, I'm trying to find someone who experienced something similar so I can see what I can do or how I can approach this. People are always like, if you're curvy, you're curvy forever. That's not true. And as you get older, your body redistributes weight a little bit differently. So you could have been curvy all your life and then suddenly, guess what? You're a different shape. That is very possible.You may not go from hourglass to an inverted triangle, but unfortunately, your shape can change significantly.

Right now, I don't know what to do to increase my hip size. I don't know. So let me know what you find out. I'm still going to research and see what I can find.

TL;DR

In my 20's at 220 to 250, I was curvy and solid hourglass. At my max of 325 (30's), i was still hourglass, just a very large version and not as deep of a waist definition. Now, at 40, I've lost about 40lbs in 6 months and am no longer a solid hourglass. At 235, my shape is now soft hourglass (barely). My hip to waist ratio is crap and I wish I would have stayed at 250, or 245. I can weight train, but it will not get that soft curve back.

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About to lose myself. Again.

Hi all. Ive been on a weight loss journey. Ive been doing great. Feeling better. Lost 25kgs (around 50 lbs I guess?). Felt good about watching that scale drop. Some days were hard but I got eventually into the beat. My goal was to lose around 10 more kgs then see if Id like to lose more for aesthetic reasons.

Now Ive lost it. Ive been stressed and fell off the bandwagon. Got back on. But fell off again now. I feel that I want to eat everything in my direction. I feel awful and sad. Not just about the weight but generally I dont feel good and I dont know why.

I cant pinpoint what it is. Im in a period of uncertainty in my life but the main reason for stress is gone now. I feel that I cant leave my phone and I just keep scrolling meaninglessly. Dont want to go out. Deep shame. No friends to hang out with.

What do I do to get back on track? Have you had similar moments?

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Desperately hungry after 17.5% weight loss - how do I break through this plateau?

Hey all,

I (23M, 5'5") started my weight loss journey on March 7 at 190.9 lbs and I'm now down to 157.4 lbs, about a 17.5% total loss. My goal weight is 130.5 lbs, but for now I just want to get in the normal BMI range (149.9 lbs). I’ve done it by eating one big meal a day, prioritizing protein and fiber, drinking a cup of water every hour I’m awake, and walking ~1 hour 5x/week.

The problem is… I’ve hit a wall. Both mentally and physically.

Over the past 1–2 weeks, my hunger has been relentless. I’m not talking “oh I could eat,” I mean constantly thinking about food, stomach growling, craving everything, waking up hungry even when I’ve just eaten a balanced dinner. I’ve stayed within my calorie range most days, but it’s getting harder and harder. My weight has stalled too, so now I’m battling both a plateau and what feels like my body’s biological backlash.

From reading up, I understand this could be my body reacting to the sustained deficit: higher ghrelin, lower leptin, adaptive thermogenesis, etc. But I feel like I’m going to snap if I don’t find a way to push through this phase.

How do I manage this constant hunger without blowing my deficit? For those of you who got through a similar wall, what worked?

I still want to get to around 130.5 lbs, but not at the cost of my sanity or relationship with food. If anyone has experienced this kind of intense hunger after losing a significant amount of weight, I’d really appreciate your advice.

Thanks in advance, this subreddit has been a lifesaver.

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Saturday, June 7, 2025

Apple Watch calories

I recently got an Apple Watch and I already know to not expect it to be perfectly accurate with calories burned however the numbers were so different compared to before when it was just measured by my phone being in my pocket idk what I should believe.

I had two very similar days the one using the watch said I burned 645 calories with just over 7k steps. The day without it said 404 with 10k steps, should I be estimating that it’s something in the middle or just completely disregarding it?

Could anyone provide any information on how accurate they are? I’m progressing quite well with my weight loss journey and I know I can’t rely on the watch but it would be handy to have it as a guide to see how much I’m burning.

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It’s been almost 2 years since I first posted here at almost 400 lbs.

Since I first posted here almost two years ago, I ended up gaining even more weight. I think my highest weight was about 425-430 lbs.

Back in January of this year (2025) I restarted my weight loss journey. I started this journey at 418.3 lbs Jan 8th, 2025. As of today, June 7, 2025 I weight 393.3 lbs. A total loss of 25 lbs this year.

I know I’m basically back to where I started two years ago, but I feel a lot better than I did two years ago.

Since I’ve started losing weight (and keeping it off), my feet fit better in my shoes, I have a regular period again, and I just overall feel better.

I know I have a long ways to go still, but it does get better.

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Would it be possible for me to lose 40 pounds in 4 months?

For starters, I’m a male, 5’11, 226 pounds, and 27 years old. I started the year at 250 (the heaviest I’ve ever been) and I’ve been tracking my meals and exercising (mainly walking), but I have had cheat days and bad weeks which have slowed my progress. My biggest struggle has been cutting out alcohol and fast food, but I’ve tried to reduce my intake of those things as much as possible. I’m ready to get more serious about my weight loss, as I have my wedding coming up in October and I want to look as fit as possible for the big day. I also want to look better for my own gratification, because a lot of my clothes don’t even fit me anymore and I don’t like what I see in the mirror. For exercise, I track my steps and try to get at least 10,000 each day and I do 100 push ups daily.

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