Tuesday, October 2, 2018

My plans to commit suicide accidentally contributed to improving my health

I've stuggled with depression and PTSD my entire life, and have always known that suicide is my inevitable outcome. Life simply holds little joy or meaning for me no matter what I accomplish or do. By my late twenties, my plan was to put my head down, work hard, accomplish whatever I could, and have as many amazing experiences as possible, as kind of a "fuck you" to anyone who would question my desire to die. I felt like I could validate my suicide if I achieved great things and still remained empty and devoid of purpose.

I made it through a nursing program at a local trade school. I started working in a rewarding career helping some of the most vulnerable children. I transferred to a university. I earned multiple degrees. President of my honors program, 4.0 GPA. I traveled the world. I worked a variety of interesting side gigs (became a legal researcher, poet, writer). And I still wanted to die.

And I ate. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. My BMI was 60, I had to special order clothing to fit me because even plus size sections often didn't go large enough, and I was getting closer to walmart scooter status. Eating was sort of a passive suicide, sort of like an appetizer before the main course.

And then I won a prestigious scholarship that would pay for grad school, stipends, pretty much assured that I could have any future I chose. It paid for travel, got me noticed by Ivy Leagues, had senators sending me letters and organizations reaching out to me to speak, travel, and work. All the work I did to justify my right to commit suicide ended up offering me a future I wasn't sure I wanted.

Well, shit. What now? I spent so much time running myself ragged, continuing on only because I told myself repeatedly "just a little bit more, and it can all be over."

So I did what I always did: "Let me try hard, and when it becomes too much or doesn't work, I'll just kill myself." (I know it's fucked up, but a lot of what I've achieved in my life has been a result of risk-taking and willingness to do whatever it takes because if I fail, I always have an out). I remember treating myself at a steakhouse for a last meal before starting, and thinking "this is the last time I'll eat this, because I'm gonna to kill myself once I give up."

I committed, and in just over a year, I lost a shitload of weight. Six months of zero carbs, high protein, moderate fat, extremely low calorie, but all monitored by doctors with blood/labwork to assess, reassess, and alter/update nutrition and exercise as needed. Light walking/hobbling because that's all I could tolerate, to 10k speedwalking (it may look dumb, but my knees are fucking gucci even after pounding pavement for hours). It was hard. Lots of tears. So much pain. Withdrawing from the world so that I could survive the hunger and the deep desires to binge, knowing I wasn't strong enough to be around food at all. Giving my money to my mother to hold because I knew I couldn't resist buying food. Smiling, chewing up and spitting out the food people pushed on me because I was hiding my weight loss journey. Developing new anxieties about food/exercise, and finding out I had so many issues/behaviors/flaws that I never addressed because it was buried under the weight. It came off, and it came off fast.

It didn't cure my suicidal ideations, but it did open up a new world for me, and give me plenty of new adventures and experiences. I moved to an idyllic city in central Europe and crisscrossed the continent for half a year. I took on new challenges, had actual relationships, went out and did all sorts of things I never could. I took new risks at work, became a nursing instructor and trainer. I experienced human relationships in a totally different way. It's just a different world when you grow up extremely obese -- I flipped out the first time I felt my collarbones, still can't process fitting into the seats on public transit, figuring out how to function when I'm seen as an attractive woman rather than a non-sexual being. I still told myself "just a little bit more, and it can all be over." The weight loss keeps unlocking new doors, and I can't seem to run out of things to do.

There will always be nights I stare up at bed my bedroom ceiling and wonder what I'd do with some train tracks and just a little more courage. A part of me will always want to die, and that's just something I'm learning to live with.

Last week, I did my weekly 10-mile hike, then broke out the sewing needle to take in a blouse that is too big on me, and calculated the timeline for finishing a second doctorate. I checked the scale -- Bam. Literally at the weight I was at 12 years old. Got a text from someone awesome I trained last year excited that we'd be working the same shift. Multiple invites to events and parties this month. Exam grades posted, and I crushed it. Three years out from when I started, this is my life now.

I called my Mother and said "Holy fuck, Mom. I think I'm gonna live to be old."

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5 Sneaky Fall Weight Loss Traps & How to Beat Them

September is always a reminder of fresh starts, but also of much busier schedules that bring on many fall weight loss traps.

But there are also many reasons why fall is a great time to lose weight. The cool crisp weather is nature’s invitation to be outside. It seems like you can walk faster and longer when there’s a little nip in the air. It’s also harvest time for fall vegetables and fruits.

Still, autumn certainly does not come without its obstacles.

8 Simple Swaps for a Healthier Fall

Here are five fall weight loss traps you might face and the best way to lose weight despite them:

1. Crazy busy schedules.

No more lazy summer days, not to mention vacation days. The kids are back to school—and to music lessons, after-school sports and extra-curricular activities—just to name a few. Mom and dad’s taxi service is officially back up and running. It’s tough to stick to a diet and exercise plan when you have so much to do. Not only does stress set up a cascade of hormones that can make you hungry (one of the sneakiest weight loss traps), logistics undercut you. Who has time to get a healthy dinner on the table when you only have an hour or so between activities? (Moms who feel like human taxis should click here to check out some fall weight loss tips from really busy moms >)

Luckily, there are simple solutions! Your supermarket probably carries prepared rotisserie chickens and pre-cut veggies that are a meal for your family in minutes. Now that you have your family covered, your Nutrisystem entrees are your meal in minutes. Just make sure you also have a bounty of grab-and-go Nutrisystem foods like the On-the-Go bars for when crazy schedules go even more haywire and take some time on the weekend to plan ahead for days that make an air traffic controller’s look tame. Shop and cook ahead. Stock up on grab-and-go snacks and bars to keep in your purse (Click here to discover five delicious lunch bars for easy grabbing-and-going >).

7 Grab-and-Go Snacks for Busy People

2. Fall food festivities.

Fall weight loss seems like an impossible feat because the season is essentially three months of nearly irresistible temptation; starting with the peanut butter cups of Halloween and ending with the lobster, drawn butter and champagne of New Year’s Eve. Oh and Thanksgiving, the holiday that’s all about the culinary weight loss traps; and Christmas, with its parties, cookie gifts and fruitcake, not to mention cocktails.

Turn a negative into a positive: Use the time before the food flows like wine to do a pre-emptive strike against holiday weight gain. Sit down with a piece of paper or in front of your computer and list all the no-no foods you are going to avoid and can do without. Next, take a look at the list and think of alternatives that might be just as satisfying. Here are some ideas to get you going:

Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas: Would a Nutrisystem Chocolate Peanut Butter Bar substitute for a Reese’s? Okay, you have a plan! It may also help to only buy candy you don’t like to hand out to trick-or-treaters and to vow not to raid your kids’ stash. Anyway, isn’t that stealing? Also, Turkey usually isn’t usually the problem—it’s the “friends” that it brings with it to the table.

Here are some tips if you don’t want to end the day feeling guilty and having to unbutton your pants due to these sneaky fall weight loss traps:

Stick to one or two foods you don’t have regularly (like stuffing and pumpkin pie) and pass on others than you may have more frequently, like mashed potatoes. Remind yourself that this isn’t your last chance to taste them. They’ll always be there.
Control the ingredients. If you’re the cook, consider using chicken broth in place of butter to bring more flavor—and less fat—to stuffing and even potatoes. Skim the fat from gravy. Make your pumpkin pie with fat-free condensed milk and at least part artificial sweetener or bake a low-fat pumpkin custard to avoid fattening pie crust. Click here to see the recipe for a healthier Pumpkin Pie that still has all the flavor >
Eat slowly. A study found that overweight people who ate at a slower pace felt fuller faster and reported less hunger even though there was no change in the hormones that affect appetite—a case of the brain overruling the body.
Donate the cookies. While homemade food gifts are wonderful to give and receive, they are complete weight loss traps. Your local nursing home, homeless shelter or soup kitchen might appreciate a little re-gifting of sweets. If you’re going to bake for family and friends, consider sweet fruit breads instead of cookies. You can’t take even a little taste of breads, while cookies can disappear before you’ve even started wrapping them. You can also explore the Recipes section on The Leaf for delicious alternative cookie recipes, like these 3-Ingredient Oatmeal Raisin Cookies >

ICYMI: Thanksgiving Recipes Edition

3. No more summer produce.

Goodbye fresh berries, tomatoes and green beans! We’re going to miss you!

The good news is autumn brings with it a new batch of vegetables perfect for fall weight loss. Some of them are highly nutritious but starchy, like potatoes and yams, while others, such as parsnips, rutabagas and turnips, may be unfamiliar to you but are the healthier options.

Click here to find out why turnips are considered a superfood >

The berries have disappeared and in their place are shiny apples and pears. It just requires a bit of a change in mindset (and a few good recipes, like this Slow-cooker Applesauce) to help you appreciate fall’s farm bounty. The first bite into a crisp, juicy apple may help you forget the delicious sweetness of the season’s first strawberry crop. Click here to discover five reasons why you should eat more apples >

You may even be surprised by root vegetables like parsnips, a carrot-like veggie that roasts to a candy sweetness and bulbous turnips that, when boiled and mashed with apple, can make you forget potatoes as a side dish.

This isn’t much of a challenge and it’s a tasty win all around.

6 Healthy Root Vegetables You Have to Try This Fall

4. Unpredictable weather.

Those crisp autumn days can suddenly turn cold, wet and blustery which can cancel your outdoor workout plans. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. If you don’t have a gym membership but have a mall nearby, combine a brisk walk with people-watching and window shopping. You can also find all kinds of fun workout ideas on the Fitness section of The Leaf!

It’s also good to have the gear—weatherproof and wind-resistant jackets, warm layers, hat, waterproof socks and sunglasses—that can help you stay active in any weather. Click here to discover more cold weather exercise essentials >

Don’t Let Cold Weather Slow You Down

5. The time change.

In November, most of us “fall back,” that is, we get one extra hour of sleep as we switch the clocks back an hour. Only it doesn’t quite work out that way. A 2013 study in Sleep Medicine Reviews found little evidence that most of us get more sleep. In fact, our sleep can be disturbed for up to a week or more after the time change. We may sleep less, get up earlier, wake up in the middle of the night and even have trouble getting to sleep.

Studies have found that sleep deprivation can lead to weight gain in part by increasing our desire for high-calorie, high-carb foods to give us instant energy to get through the day. Click here to read the 10 ways sleep deprivation affects your health >

To beat these fall weight loss traps, go to bed a little earlier in anticipation of the time change, avoiding alcohol and caffeinated beverages four to six hours before bedtime, keep naps to 20 minutes and maintain a consistent sleep schedule on the weekends.

Our Top 6 Fall Produce Picks

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7 Weight Loss Myths You Have to Stop Believing

Have you heard about miraculous secrets to shedding pounds overnight? You might see these claims in ads or even hear about them from friends who swear by the results they’ve experienced. But be wary—in so many cases these commonly repeated weight loss myths are anything but the hidden key to reaching your weight loss goals.

Here are the top seven weight loss myths that could be wreaking havoc on your weight loss progress:

1. Myth: Fasting is a shortcut to weight loss.
Fact: Not eating a couple days a week has been touted as the quick way to drop excess pounds, but simply reducing your daily calorie consumption led to greater fat loss than fasting, according to a 2014 review of published research by scientists at the University of Illinois–Chicago. Moreover, a 2015 study published in the journal Nutrition Research concluded that spreading out your calories over six daily meals and healthy snacks helps you maintain more metabolism-revving muscle mass than you do when you deprive your body of food.

10 Things Healthy People Do Every. Single. Day.

2. Myth: Low-carb (or no-carb) diets are best for losing weight.
Fact: Limiting fat in your diet is more effective at reducing body fat than limiting carbohydrates, report researchers at the National Institutes of Health. They compared the impact of low-fat vs. low-carb diets (with equal amounts of calories) and found that while total weight loss was comparable between the two diets, the subjects who ate less fat experienced greater body fat loss compared with the low-carb eaters. However, as we’ve said time and again, fat is not the enemy either, since healthy fats play an important role in your diet and in your body (get the 411 on fats here). A balanced diet that includes lean proteins, healthy fats and nutrient-rich carbs is your best bet when trying to lose weight. Just remember: Not all carbs are created equal. The high-fiber fruits and vegetables and whole grains in the SmartCarbs category of your Grocery Guide help satisfy hunger and keep you feeling full without causing spikes in your insulin levels or appetite.

Always Hungry? How to Deal

3. Myth: “Low-fat” or “fat-free” foods are healthier than regular versions.
Fact: As we said above, healthy fats have a place in your diet. But, since fats weigh in at 9 calories per gram (carbs and proteins serve up less than half of this amount), over-consuming this nutrient (really, over-consuming any nutrient) may impede your weight loss progress. For this reason, many people have jumped on the low-fat food bandwagon. But it’s important to be informed about the low-fat products you’re choosing. Many processed, low-fat or fat-free foods contain added sugar or salt to enhance flavor and they often have even more calories than the full-fat versions. Your best bet is to stick to natural low-fat snacks, like fruits and veggies. When you do opt for low-fat foods, do your due diligence and read the nutrition label to determine if the lower fat comes at a higher sugar, sodium or calorie cost. (Need help interpreting a nutrition label? We’ve got you covered here). If you do opt for low-fat versions of your favorite foods, just be mindful of your portion sizes. Studies at Cornell have found that we tend to eat 50 percent more of foods labeled “low-fat” than the regular version of the product. Remember: “Low-fat” isn’t permission to eat an entire box.

5 Ugly Foods that Taste Amazing

4. Myth: If you exercise a lot, you can eat whatever you want and still lose weight.
Fact: Exercise is a healthy habit that can help you reach your weight-loss goals, but without reducing your daily calorie consumption your progress will be slow at best. First, you don’t burn as many calories exercising as you might think: For a person weighing in around 185 pounds, 30 minutes of moderate-paced walking burns fewer than 180 calories, says Harvard Health Publications. That’s the calorie equivalent of a little more than one 12 ounce can of soda. Second, a 2016 study published in the journal Current Biology found that your body begins to adapt to higher activity levels and may gradually burn fewer calories as a result.

How to Stop Sabotaging Your Weight Loss

5. Myth: To lose weight, you must get used to feeling hungry.
Fact: Your food choices dramatically affect how hungry you feel throughout the day. Foods that are high in protein or fiber, regardless of their calorie-content,tend to burn slowly and leave you feeling full longer. Even better, the Journal of the International Society of Sports Nutrition reports that “increasing meal frequency appears to help decrease hunger and improve appetite control.” That is, eating more times a day not only reduces feelings of hunger, it helps you to control your appetite, which is essential to losing weight.

7 Ways Social Media Can Help You Lose Weight

6. Myth: Snacking impedes your progress toward your weight loss goal.
Fact: For many of us, snacks can account for more than a quarter of our daily calories. But if you munch on nutrient-dense foods (high in vitamins, minerals and fiber and low in calories), you’re more likely to maintain a healthy weight, according to the results of a five-year study known as the “National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey.” It revealed that healthy snackers were less likely than non-snackers to be overweight or obese.

Going Out to Eat? How to Master the Menu

7. Myth: Certain “fat-burning” foods amp up weight loss.
Fact: Grapefruit, celery, coconut oil and other foods are reputed to have a “thermogenic” effect, meaning you literally burn more calories eating and digesting them than they contain. But many of these fat-burning ingredients are simply nutrient-dense foods that are low in calories and high in fiber or protein—just like most other fruits and vegetables, and whole grains. These foods are healthy components of your diet, but they don’t possess exceptional characteristics that make them better than others at helping you lose weight. A well-balanced diet that includes a wide variety of foods is the foundation of steady, sustainable weight loss. Read more about negative-calorie foods here.

The post 7 Weight Loss Myths You Have to Stop Believing appeared first on The Leaf.

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Pumpkin Palooza! 10 Pumpkin Recipes You Need in Your Life

My Weight Loss Journey - From Sedentary with Crippling Anxiety to Active with a New Lease of Life

My weight loss journey started in February 2018. I left my job - it was contributing badly to my anxiety and emotional eating. I was being pressured to do a job that I didn't want, I was being verbally abused, my career progression was non-existent and I was completely demotivated.

I took two months off work to get my mental health back in check before returning to work. By the time I took my next position in April 2018, I had dropped 2 stone (28lbs).

Since April, I have continued losing weight and have to date lost 4st 11lbs (67lbs).

I am now walking at least 10,000 steps a day, have a much healthier diet, an improved relationship and am more open with my family. I have joined a gym and o at least 3 times a week, and also do Pilates every Tuesday. I am so much happier in everything, and although it's not all about the weight loss, I am incredibly proud of myself for it.

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Day 1? Starting your weight loss journey on Tuesday, 02 October 2018? Start here!

Today is your Day 1?

Welcome to r/Loseit!

So you aren’t sure of how to start? Don’t worry! “How do I get started?” is our most asked question. r/Loseit has helped our users lose over 1,000,000 recorded pounds and these are the steps that we’ve found most useful for getting started.

Why you’re overweight

Our bodies are amazing (yes, yours too!). In order to survive before supermarkets, we had to be able to store energy to get us through lean times, we store this energy as adipose fat tissue. If you put more energy into your body than it needs, it stores it, for (potential) later use. When you put in less than it needs, it uses the stored energy. The more energy you have stored, the more overweight you are. The trick is to get your body to use the stored energy, which can only be done if you give it less energy than it needs, consistently.

Before You Start

The very first step is calculating your calorie needs. You can do that HERE. This will give you an approximation of your calorie needs for the day. The next step is to figure how quickly you want to lose the fat. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. So to lose 1 pound of fat per week you will need to consume 500 calories less than your TDEE (daily calorie needs from the link above). 750 calories less will result in 1.5 pounds and 1000 calories is an aggressive 2 pounds per week.

Tracking

Here is where it begins to resemble work. The most efficient way to lose the weight you desire is to track your calorie intake. This has gotten much simpler over the years and today it can be done right from your smartphone or computer. r/loseit recommends an app like MyFitnessPal, Loseit! (unaffiliated), or Cronometer. Create an account and be honest with it about your current stats, activities, and goals. This is your tracker and no one else needs to see it so don’t cheat the numbers. You’ll find large user created databases that make logging and tracking your food and drinks easy with just the tap of the screen or the push of a button. We also highly recommend the use of a digital kitchen scale for accuracy. Knowing how much of what you're eating is more important than what you're eating. Why? This may explain it.

Creating Your Deficit

How do you create a deficit? This is up to you. r/loseit has a few recommendations but ultimately that decision is yours. There is no perfect diet for everyone. There is a perfect diet for you and you can create it. You can eat less of exactly what you eat now. If you like pizza you can have pizza. Have 2 slices instead of 4. You can try lower calorie replacements for calorie dense foods. Some of the communities favorites are cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash in place of their more calorie rich cousins. If it appeals to you an entire dietary change like Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian.

The most important thing to remember is that this selection of foods works for you. Sustainability is the key to long term weight management success. If you hate what you’re eating you won’t stick to it.

Exercise

Is NOT mandatory. You can lose fat and create a deficit through diet alone. There is no requirement of exercise to lose weight.

It has it’s own benefits though. You will burn extra calories. Exercise is shown to be beneficial to mental health and creates an endorphin rush as well. It makes people feel awesome and has been linked to higher rates of long term success when physical activity is included in lifestyle changes.

Crawl, Walk, Run

It can seem like one needs to make a 180 degree course correction to find success. That isn’t necessarily true. Many of our users find that creating small initial changes that build a foundation allows them to progress forward in even, sustained, increments.

Acceptance

You will struggle. We have all struggled. This is natural. There is no tip or trick to get through this though. We encourage you to recognize why you are struggling and forgive yourself for whatever reason that may be. If you overindulged at your last meal that is ok. You can resolve to make the next meal better.

Do not let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress. We don’t need perfect. We just want better.

Additional resources

Now you’re ready to do this. Here are more details, that may help you refine your plan.

Quick Start Guide - Build your foundation!
Loseit Compendium - Frame it out!
FAQ - Answers to our most Frequently Asked Questions!

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Weight loss coach or therapist or someone for accountability - suggestions?

Hey,

lately I've gained lots of weight back in the past 6 weeks after losing it by counting calories and exercise. This might be the biggest low I am hitting for the past 2 years. I was so motivated to become ripped and with weight lifting and it all just vanished when I got ill (a cold that kept reoccuring for over a month). I stopped working out, I started eating lots of junk (mostly sugar and fat) from boredom and frustration, and now I can't seem to bother anymore for shit.

I lost interest in basically everything but eating and playing games. I don't feel depressed, just...bored and lifeless.

So, I scheduled an appointment with some psycho counselor to help me with this, but until then (it is in a month) I want to spend some money to get something or someone to help me. The one thing I wanted was the Never Binge Again coaching by Glenn Livingston but it is too expensive (500 bucks), I can only spend 100 to 200.

I know a coach is expensive but I just need someone for accountability. I also considered paying a therapist. Or to just spend the money for the freezer that prevents me from meal prepping which I wanted to start anyway.

You know, I just need some fresh air, some spark, some hope, someone who cares or something that helps lifting me up. I know how to lose weight and I do not need a program or course on how to this or what exercises to do, I have a plan, I just need a kick-start.

What could I get for 100 to 200 bucks? What would make most sense for such a low? Have you ever bought something to motivate yourself and if so, what and did it help?

I also want to spend some money to raise the stakes.

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