Right, this is going to be a long one, so if you want to get to the good bits (The actual weight loss in the title), skip to the stars below. Otherwise, I plan to walk you through my relationship with my body since childhood, how size and weight loss have affected my self-esteem and then, finally, how I've gone about getting fitter this year.
Age 7-10
I was always a fat kid, a cute little silver-haired blob of a child. Of course, eventually, this stops being cute and starts to become a serious issue, both in terms of physical and mental health. Although I was generally well-liked, due to my size I had my problems with bullying, and this is what initiated my first serious attempt at weight loss around the age of 7. I remember very little of this, but it was very successful and huge props to my mum for getting a kid who hates vegetables to eat healthily.
Around 6-7 yo (on the right)
Around this time, I also started getting into sports, which no doubt helped with that initial round of weight loss. On my mum's request (I think) the cub-scouts group I was a member of began a fitness drive and on a whim, I signed up for an inter-school cross-country event. Now here is where some issues started to develop which would put the brakes on any serious attempt to get fit. A combination of tight-Achilles-tendons, in-grown toenails, eczema and asthma put some serious dampeners on my ability to do exercise.
I won't go into too much detail but I may be able to put into context how I felt at the time; If you have ever gone for a long run and experienced a lack of ankle flexibility and soreness in that area the next day, thanks to my tight AF tendons that was me, all the time. We've all stubbed our toes and it hurts like hell, right? Thanks to in-grown toenails, that was me, all the time. Most people have also had a bout of eczema, or at least some form of dry, itchy or even painful rash, that was me, all the time. Around my knees, groin, upper leg, forearm, elbow, upper arm, armpit, chest, belly and upper back…all the time. Most areas were just itchy, but my knees and groin, due to chaffing, were extremely painful. Every single one of these issues was exacerbated by, you guessed it, exercise.
Age 11-16
Age 11
I hit puberty early so by the time I got to secondary school (age 11 if you're not from the UK), I was relatively tall and strong. In fact, at one time, I was the biggest in the year group (though this would later take a sad turn). After a couple of surgeries for my toes, years of stretching for my ankles and straight-up dealing with the pain from eczema, I was able to finally get some good work in. So, now I'm 13, 5'8 and around 82.5 kg (13 st.). I bulk up. Motivated by a lack of self-esteem (I considered myself fat and ugly here) and teenage hormones, I hit the gym after school, start doing callisthenics at home, and even start playing rugby.
Age 14-15, probably the fittest I have been
The internet wasn't quite the wealth of knowledge that it is today so most of what I was doing in the gym and at home, I would now class as 'dicking around'. However, in the next two years, I put on some good muscle and hit 90 kg (14.2 st.), at 5'8. Yup, after I hit 5'8 at 13, I just stopped. One of the tallest to one of the shortest in the space of two years. Not really a big issue but growing requires a lot of energy and when you stop growing but keep eating…you get fatter. Exercise as part of my school lifestyle kept most of this at bay, but then another hurdle presented itself. Leaving school and fitting exercise around college (high school to Americans…I think).
Age 16
Age 17
So how did I manage to fit exercise around college? To put it bluntly, I didn't. As a result, I reached my heaviest up until this point at around 95 kg (15 st.). In particular, I remember seeing a photo which had been taken at a friend's birthday party and thinking 'oh god, I look unacceptably fat there'. My mum had recently started her own weight loss effort; An extreme diet which went by the name of 'lighter life', this was the first time I had heard of keto and it sounded like a great idea, so I jumped on-board. As I said, this version of keto was extreme, 600 calories a day split into 3 meal replacement 'packs' which provide all of the nutrition that you need. It was…actually, fine.
The picture where I thought was too fat
The appetite suppressing effects of keto, the very quick weight loss, and the lack of flexibility (needed due to my lack of knowledge on nutrition and my lack of willpower) resulted in me dropping down to 79 kg (12.5 st.) in the space of around 2 months. I looked the greatest I ever have and more importantly, I felt…fat. Yup, at this point I still felt fat and ugly.
After the weight loss, and another (with some fabulous red lipstick, probably the leanest I have ever been)
Moobs
There is another issue that I haven't addressed yet but has followed me throughout the whole life so far, the primary reason for me wanting to lose weight, and the primary reason for my lack of self-esteem. As Fight Club would say ‘Bitch tits’. I have always had a large chest, and not only have I always hated looking at it in the mirror but it's some golden ammunition for asshole kids. Man-boobs were the reason that, no matter how much weight I lost, I still thought I was fat and ugly. Is it gynecomastia? Maybe. I have rehearsed a discussion with a doctor thousands of times in my head and the result is always the same, 'I can't help you, or even diagnose you until you lose weight'. And I never felt like I had lost enough weight, so I never spoke to anyone about it.
University
Around 18-19, when I started uni, I was back to 90 kg (14.2 st.) and didn't care anymore. I ate like shit and did very little exercise, eventually settling around 95 kg (15 st.). However, coming out of the puberty tunnel did wonders for my eczema, although I was both the fattest and least fit I had been since I was a kid, I felt the most comfortable I had ever been. Then…disaster struck at age 21! I was lucky enough to meet my girlfriend Kerri (praise Tinder), years of blissful gluttony followed.
My first year of uni, and third year
PhD
Slowly but surely, the weight crept up, spurred by the stress of now doing a PhD. To make matters worse, I was now living by myself, with all-too-convenient access to food in the centre of town. I ballooned up to 108 kg (17 st.) over the course of around 4 years. Ok, now this is no longer a matter of self-esteem but could have serious ramifications to my long-term health.
Me, at my heaviest - The before photo in my progress picture (below) better illustrates my size here though.
Wait…I said to my long-term health. Why do my feet hurt all the time? Why am I so out of breath? Why is my eczema back? At this weight, a slew of problems re-surfaced. Most notably my tight Achilles tendons. Which, under 108 kg of body weight had evolved into Plantar fasciitis. This resulted in excruciating foot pain in the mornings and when walking or standing for more than 20 minutes. I felt immediate relief doing targeted stretches, but any long lab days where I'm standing for 6+ hours were a nightmare. Not to mention the effect that much weight has on mental health. Hormone levels go a bit haywire at this size and I constantly felt fatigued, unmotivated and depressed. My productivity was all over the place. Something needed to change, I didn't just need to lose a bit of weight…I needed to get fit!
***\*
Educate yourself
In 2019, at age 25, I had started to eat a bit healthier but still weighed in around 107 kg. Fortunately, the stars aligned. Kerri was also eager to lose some weight, Pinch of nom had just released a low-calorie cookbook, and my friend Nic agreed to start rock climbing with me at our local bouldering centre 'Bouldershack'. I got serious, I took and step that I had never taken before…I educated myself. As always (and I suggest everyone do this for a week anyway), I started by counting my calories, aiming for around 1500 kcal. I did this for the first couple of months and for the first time in my life, I developed an intuition for how much I should be eating. This is my number one tip. Imma reel off some of the key points that have helped me this year (bear in mind, these helped me, weight loss is very personal, and they may not help everyone) …
- Count your calories and macronutrients, develop an intuition for your nutrition!
- Intermittent fasting (only eating between 12-8 pm). This helped me in the first 3 months to control my appetite and limited my ability to snack in the morning and evening, something I am frequently guilty of.
- Weighing myself every day. This may go against a lot of the advice you see, telling you to only weigh yourself once a week to avoid demotivation, but I find the information invaluable. Knowing that the fluctuations are caused primarily by water weight and learning how to control that enabled me to keep my weight loss consistent and avoid slumps in motivation. This leads me on to my next point…
- Monitor your salt intake and be mindful of medication. Although this won't affect your weight loss, this will prevent you from fluctuating all over the place. Both salt and some forms of medication e.g. ibuprofen, cause you to retain more water. Keeping this in mind when I had those weeks where out of nowhere, I don't lose anything or even put weight on, was crucial.
- Get an active hobby. Exercise is hard. It's hard to get yourself motivated to spend 20 minutes on a treadmill or something similar. So, finding a sport that you enjoy can help to not only burn calories but get fitter and put on some muscle. Bouldering has added to my list of reasons that I want to get fit and I'm sure people will tell you; if you get good at it, exercise becomes addictive. Also, Parkrun, everyone should Parkrun. More on this later.
Before I continue talking about myself, I'm going to take a quick detour and highlight some forums and YouTubers that I used to motivate and educate myself. Firstly, the Reddit communities r/loseit, r/progresspics and r/bodybuilding. Seeing other people achieve incredible transformations is a great motivator to do so yourself!
Secondly, the wealth of YouTubers that I am now subscribed to. This all started with Jujimufu (Juji &Tom) and from there I discovered the likes of Magnus Midtboe, Larry Wheels, Martins Licis (Congrats on WSM 2019!), Brian Shaw and Eddie hall, during the usual Youtube wormhole. A special recommendation goes here for 'Vitruvian Physique' who stands out as an educator, providing research articles to back up his claims. If you would like to learn about bodybuilding, nutrition and fat loss, I would highly recommend his channel.
It begins
So, with a wealth of knowledge at my fingertips, I set about with a 1500-1800 calorie intake target, bouldering twice a week, intermittent fasting, and some tasty, low-calorie recipes. A typical day would start with no breakfast but around a pint of water, and another pint before lunch. Lunch would consist of a generous portion of salad with 100g of cooked chicken, some kind of sauce to top it off, an apple, a protein bar and some more water. More water through the workday. Another pint of water and a banana when I get home. Dinner was whatever took our fancy from a low-calorie cookbook, usually around 400-500 kcal plus a ‘healthy’ dessert and a couple more pints of water before bed.
The weight started to fall off immediately and at a high rate (average 0.82 kg/week). This motivated me to stay strict, avoiding anything that even smelt sweet and I don't think that I ate bread or pasta for the first two months.
Two months in
When I hit 100 kg (15.7 st.) for the first time in about 4 years, I took my first progress picture (see below) and I was shook. Not quite by what I looked like now, but what I looked like 2 months ago. In my mind's eye I was never I that fat, was I? Suddenly the issues I was having made sense and my motivation here was at an all-time high. I chugged on for 3 more months, at a steady rate of 0.7 kg/week. One big motivating moment for me happened around 95 kg (15 st.) when I completed my first strict pull-up, this was something I had never been able to do. Not even in school when I was significantly fitter and, I thought, stronger. The benefits of bouldering, people.
Parkrun
Five months in, around 91 kg (14.33 st.), and it was here that I reached my first blip. Several summer events meant that I lost focus. But I was still short of my original target of 89 kg (14 st.). So eventually, I rolled up my sleeves and cracked on. It was at this point that my friend Katie introduced me to 'Parkrun', a local 5k run, held weekly by volunteers. As I hadn't run 5k since school I was very nervous about how difficult it would be. I tentatively set myself the target of running the whole distance, no matter how slow I needed to go. Completing this challenge that I set myself and finishing in a time of 33:45 was a huge deal for me. Bouldering had done great things for my strength, but I had put off any sort of cardio because I thought I was 'too heavy'. The weirdest thing for me…I enjoyed it. There's something about a community event, running with a thousand other people who each have their reasons for running today, that makes you want to go faster. And I did, I got hooked immediately and have been going every week for nearly 3 months now (see graph below) and hit my PB this week of 25:55! I feel fit for the first time in 10 years. I even ran a 10k! 10 km is a distance which, at the start of the year, I couldn't have even walked. So, to run that far is ridiculous, and thank you to everyone who follows me on Strava for your valuable kudos. Though motivation doesn't stop your nipples from hurting.
Blip number 2
Weight loss had been relatively easy up until this point, just make sensible choices and the fat will fall. However, now that I had incorporated a couple of runs into my week I started to feel fatigued and since I had just met and exceeded my 89 kg goal (now at 87.5 kg, 13.8 st.), I no longer felt the need to carry on. As such, I eased off for a few weeks and settled back at 90 kg (most of this increase will be water weight). I did feel better and fitter, but I just wasn't satisfied.
The present-day
Although I was no longer obese, 'Healthy' was spitting distance away. Hence, the return of meal replacements. I had planned on writing this for a while but didn't want to if I wasn't at my leanest. I'm also impatient and wanted to post this as a finish to the year. So, to lose as much weight as possible in 3 or so weeks, I hopped on exantediet.com and ordered 50 meal replacement packs. To my relief, the recommendation was no longer 3 packs a day equalling 600 calories, but 3 packs per day plus 200 calories of high protein low carb food (for this I chose 2 eggs). However, this is also an extremely stressful time in my PhD, my last month in the lab before I write up my thesis. So, I went for a more relaxed approach, consuming around 1000-1200 calories a day, 1500 when running or bouldering. This brings me to today, this morning I weighed in at 85.1 kg (13.4 st. and I estimate 25% body fat…the top side of healthy). Scales for proof! The weirdest thing is that my body is starting to have a shape, I'm no longer an amorphous blob. It's very exciting, like unearthing dinosaur bones; what's this... Ribs?! A pelvis!? Although I weigh more than I have done in the past, I no longer feel fat and ugly, I feel great!
What you've been waiting for... the progress pics and a before & after
For you stat nerds... the weightloss graph
For you runners... the 5k times
The future
I will continue to lose weight in the new year with a goal of 80 kg (12.6 st.) which, by my reckoning, will put me around 20% body fat. From there who knows, my new workplace will have a gym so maybe I'll lift some proper weights and work on getting dem gainz! This post (essay?) has gone on a lot longer than I expected but I want to finish by thanking everyone who has supported me. In particular, Kerri Fear, thank you for putting up with my shit!
The final value for weight loss in 2019 - 108 kg > 85 kg - a loss of 23 kg, 3.5 st., 50 lbs
