Thursday, October 1, 2020

Exercise as the main method of weight loss?

Had to deal with anemia. Harder to fix with gut allergies. But things are pretty good. For the longest time, I did all the “right” things, fasting, drinking lots of water, and calorie restriction. All ended making my anemia worse. And even likely before full blown anemia, these things kept me in this not so vivid world. Looking back every weight loss stint, and they weren’t extreme, kept me in a goal oriented tunnel vision that seemed like a shadow of real life. I know everything I need to do now finally be at FUN/very meaningful place everyday. To be truly ecstatic where the body can’t throw your mind off, and you’re firmly stuck in the reality it’s wanted to give you. I found the equation and I know how to get that back to that spot over time.

To me, this is the only way to have weight loss and not incur damage. It won’t be incredibly difficult, just more difficult. I’ve done these weight loss cycles, and they always put me in vulnerable spots. Discipline meant nothing once you have routine, it was more, why am I hurting myself for this when there are more healthy methods. With only 30 pounds maximum to lose for a fitter body for me, it’s not an insane journey. My body is primed for exercise, but my mind is not. I can easily go out and exercise every day...but I haven‘t...

Just curious if others have have aimed for normal, even above average intake, and I’m sure some fasting days and restriction days peppered in, but exercise being the main long term method of calories lost.

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Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Starting off

So I'm 43 and have the same story as many other women. I've been overweight for virtually my entire life, and over the decades it's only gotten higher: I left high school weighing 180 pounds. A couple years later, work stress sent it to about 210. It was stable at that point for a few years, and in my mid-20s I lost a fair chunk of it over the course of one summer because I started running. Then I injured my foot and lost all motivation to exercise, although I've always been a hobby walker, as it were. (To clarify: for the better part of a decade - generally the entirety of my 20s, I walked all over creation - I literally would walk for a few hour every day. The caveat being that it was a leisure activity. Aside from that few months one summer, I was never seriously active). But even though I wasn't bothering to control my food intake, I think the walking actually provided me with real benefit as far as cardiovascular health, even though the weight itself never came off. Anyway, then I moved away from my hometown and took up residence on the other side of the country, and officially stopped walking at all for various reasons. Predictably, my weight went up to about 240. And it stayed there for the next several years. Then about 2016...things happened. Now I'm up to 270.

Going on, I did what we all do and tried various means of losing weight over the years. Some faddish, others more serious means of creating a CICO deficit, all with limited and temporary success.

Now, for all that I really do believe those years of excessive walking did actually provide real benefit in staving off the worst effects of considerable obesity...now that I'm 43 I can see and feel tangible problems finally catching up with me in middle-age. A few weeks ago, I stumbled across one of the many "no added sugar" challenges on Youtube. I don't go in for woowoo dietary science claims, but when multiple people report similar positive outcomes, and there's a few studies that at least suggest some corroboration - I pay attention. So I decided to try taking myself completely off added sugar (again, I want to be clear: I didn't eliminate natural sugars - didn't stop eating fruit, or high-sugar vegetables, like bananas or carrots, etc. I focused exclusively on added sugars), to see what happened. Three weeks later, after being forced to basically prepare and cook my own food, I absolutely noticed a significant change in my daily energy levels, and quality of sleep. I don't know if it's truly the result of going totally off added, refined sugars, or just the net consequences of doing so: being forced to be more conscientious about food effectively cuts out all processed, prepackaged food that contains high levels of sodium, fat, sugar, etc, beyond just avoiding junk food and fast food, which tends to naturally result in a calorie deficit.

One of the biggest deterrents for me in really getting started back into serious effort at weight loss the past few years has been struggling to have the sheer energy for it. I've made a number of attempts to get back into the habit of daily exercise and I always burn out fast because I haven't had the capacity to sustain it more than a few days. So now that it's been several weeks since I completely changed my entire food prep routine, and my energy levels have been stable, I decided to get my butt back to the gym.

It's...working.

I'm not bothering with keeping any kind of record of my daily caloric intake, and I'm only doing the basics of weighing and measuring. All the false starts and stops over the years have taught me the core basics: that weight loss is ultimately a question of CICO over the long term, that "weight loss happens in the kitchen," but also that CICO deficit can be achieved in one of three ways: less food; more exercise; a combination of less food and more exercise, and that long term success requires a realistic, honest engagement with what you eat.

So. What I've been doing since last Sunday. I plugged in my numbers based on age/sex/height/current weight and a guesstimate of my activity levels. Having a rough idea of how many calories I need just to maintain my weight, I've aimed at keeping my food intake every day at some range between 1500-1800 calories. I'm still eating 80-90% home prepped food, but I'm also giving myself permission to eat some prepackaged food. The rule I've set for myself is that it can't ever be pure junk and it must always be add-sugar free, and should be single-serving sized.
Likewise, I'm getting on the treadmill every day. Every day. I've been plugging in my numbers on the gym treadmill at my university (I'm a nontrad student) and aiming to burn 300 calories. I know that these machines can only give you an estimate, but I'm making it work. The first day, I couldn't really sustain a walking pace sufficient to burn 300 calories in a reasonable timeframe, so I recalibrated my goals. Since then, I've decided to aim for 45 minutes on the treadmill. In one single block of time if I can, or two blocks if I have to. Also last week, I set a pace of 2.5 and decided to focus less on the treadmill's calculated calorie burn, just concentrating on getting my time quota for the day.

Here is what I noticed, in a breathtakingly short period of time (I started this Sunday of last week). Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday were hard. Fierce motivation is the only thing that kept me going on that damnable machine. And then I ended up not going on Friday because I felt fairly ill that day. But I know my pattern, and the risk of falling off the wagon before you've had time to develop a habit, so I made a special point of getting back to the gym on Saturday, and it occurred to me when I reached the 30-minute mark that I hadn't really felt the drag of all those minutes. I was able to keep going and get a full 45 minutes in without feeling like I was having to hold myself at gun point. Sunday went largely the same way - suddenly, 45 minutes on the treadmill just didn't feel so onerous.

Note on the 2.5 pace. What I tried to do last week was give myself 3-5 minutes of warmup at 2.0-2.3 mph, and then kick it up to 2.5 mph for the 30-45 minute block (or 15-22 minute block), and then knock it back down to 2.0 for another 5 minutes. I'm specifically excluding the warmup and cooldown periods from the exercise duration so that I don't give myself an excuse to get lazy and fudge the numbers). When I noticed at the end of the week that the activity no longer felt like a chore I had to force myself through, I decided to implement some goals. Since I used to walk so much, all day, every day, at one point in my life I was a fast walker, even though I was nonetheless obese. But I lost that somewhere along the way, and now I'm embarrassed by how slow my pace is. I'd really like to reclaim that, so at the beginning of this week (Sunday, again, although I think I'm going to alter things so that my week starts on Monday, and I let myself have Sunday 'off' from cardio), I set 2.5 as my warmup pace and tried to sustain an exercise pace of 2.8 for as long as possible. What I've also done is occasionally kick it up to 3.0 or 3.2 mph for anywhere from one to four minutes, and then back down to 2.8. On Monday when I tried that, I overdid it and had to cut the pace back down to 2.5 for a while. But the last couple days, if I warmup at 2.5, I can maintain 2.8 for the next 30-45 minutes, with the odd one-minute burst of 3.0 here and there, and then drop down to between 2.2 and 2.5 for a 5 minute cooldown.

That is also working. After three or four more days of this I'm going to see if I can go for longer bursts of 3.0mph, alternated with a minimum of 2.8. That might be too ambitious, but I'm really encouraged by how quickly I noticed an improvement. Note: I'm also aware that even if I might notice sudden upticks of improvement here and there, I know better than to expect a continuous upward trend of progress, but I like to believe that if I'm careful, and realistic about daily and weekly goals, I could get myself to a sustained pace of 3.5 for a duration of 45 minutes by the end of October.

Back to the main point (sorry for the excessive detail and long-windedness, really!), I'm not tracking calories or foods. I have a general idea of the calorie load of my most frequent meals. For instance, I nearly always have eggs and bread for breakfast. (Sometimes it's an actual sandwich; other times I just used the bread to sop up my runny yolks). Typically it's two eggs and two slices of bread. Sometimes I have a banana, in which case I only eat one piece of bread. Sometimes it's three eggs and one bread slice with a smear of mayonnaise, or a thin spread of jam or peanut butter. I know the general calorie count of everything, so no matter the specifics, I know that 350 is a reasonable estimate of my breakfast calories. My other meals go the same way: my general rule of thumb is to generally keep each meal within 500 calories (the idea being that breakfast, lunch, and dinner = 1500 calories maximum), which allows me to have a snack here and there, regardless of whether it's a banana, a small package of beef jerky, or a package of flavored popcorn, without stressing it.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention this. The main reason I know that I'm at a CICO deficit is because up until recently the overwhelming majority of my excess calories came exclusively from beverages. Soda, flavored/sweetened coffee, etc. Sure, I overate plenty of just plain ol' bad, high-calorie food, but the real culprit was all the damn soda and coffee. I knew starting out with the no-added-sugar challenge that the mere elimination of all those liquid calories would mean a drastic reduction in calories, and it definitely has. I still drink coffee, but I'm limiting it to one per day, and only using a small splash of milk, and stevia powder, to sweeten it. All sugary soda is completely off the table. Now, I basically buy one liter bottle of diet. Dr. Pepper and make that one bottle last me the entire week. For the most part, I use that one bottle as my supper "treat" (because for so many years I had a soda alongside my supper), take a swig whenever I have a craving (don't know about anyone else, but I'm actually more addicted to the carbonation in soda than the caffeine itself), or take a swig if I need help to wash down some ibuprofen in the event of a headache or whatever. Stupid, maybe, but I think this is what I'm most proud of, because this is coming down from a habit of drinking multiple bottles of soda each and every day. I know I've crossed a threshold of accountability and moderation when I've honestly cultivated the habit of treating soda as a treat to have in moderation instead of an addiction I freely indulge in.

Basically the upshot of it all is that while I'm not explicitly tracking my calories, I do have a generally accurate estimate of what I typically eat compared to what I used to a couple months ago (which actually comes from all the years that I did count calories - I just have a solid working knowledge of the the calorie content of a number of the foods I eat most often.) So I know that for the most part my calorie intake falls somewhere between 1500-1800 each day, in addition to the fact that I'm burning somewhere between 200-300 calories on the treadmill (plus, of course, the continued metabolic increase that burns calories at a higher rate for some length of time after the cardio is over!)

That's enough for me. I'm realistic enough and self-aware enough to know that there have been odd days when my calorie intake has probably exceeded 1800, but I'm not worrying about it because I've trained myself to be conscientious of what I'm eating to the point where daily exercise, healthy food choices and moderation has become my new normal, and so I'm unquestionably eating at a daily deficit toward my maintenance calories, regardless of what the exact end-day totals actually are.

And the reason that I know this? Because literally two weeks ago I could not pull my size 18 jeans up over my ass. My size 20 jeans were snug. Not really uncomfortably tight, but definitely snug. And today I pulled on my size 18 jeans, which are slightly snug! The thing is, two weeks ago I started weighing myself daily, or almost every day. I don't really want to get caught up in watching the scale for the same reason that I don't want to cultivate the habit of tracking all my calories, but I did figure that it would be a good idea to track the scale daily as part of building a foundation of better habits (by which I mean, if I watched the scale daily for a week or two, it would help me get a good rough idea of whether I was actually being careful with food and exercise). But what actually happened is that the scale either didn't budge at all, or crept *up! Now, I know that weight fluctuates daily, and all the other tips and tricks we learn when we study up on the science. I also know that when you're truly morbidly obese as I am, that the initial weight will come off fairly quickly (although it eventually levels off). I also knew that I was being careful enough in watching my food intake and making sure to get a minimum amount of cardio every day, that it just didn't make sense that I wasn't seeing any results on the damn scale at all. So I did some quick reading, and I read up on water weight, glycogen stores, and what people here call the "whoooosh" effect. And then I started paying attention and did notice that my 20 jeans didn't fit quite right anymore, so I pulled out the 18s, and voila! That's all the proof I need, because I know that it's literally impossible to not be losing weight in my situation, and obviously I wouldn't be able to fit into the 18s if I weren't losing.

SO IN TWO WEEKS, EVEN THOUGH THE SCALE HASN'T REFLECTED A SINGLE POUND OF WEIGHT LOSS, I'VE LITERALLY GONE DOWN A JEANS SIZE. IN TWO WEEKS!

This is all the confirmation I need. I'm going to keep eating the way I've been eating, and concentrate on incremental improvements in my daily exercise routine. I've been focusing exclusively on the treadmill, because the great thing about it is that I'm in full control over when I start and stop (as opposed to, if I decided to go for a walk, or ride my bike somewhere, if I ended up injured, or overly tired, while I was, say, two miles from home, I'd kinda be screwed. The gym treadmill gives me the option to quit when I choose). But I think after one, maybe two more weeks of, hopefully, continued improvement in my baseline fitness, I'm going to start using different machines. Like, keep going with 30-40 minutes on the treadmill, but also 10 minutes on the stationary bike, 10 minutes on the arm-bike thingy, 10 minutes on the stair-climber, or some variation thereof.

Guys, I'm sorry that this got so long, and included such a huge minutiae of detail nobody wanted, needed, or asked for, lol. I'm just so excited, because I'm confident that I've set myself up for real weight loss and improved health on a long term basis. In literally the space of a month and a half, give or take, I've completely overhauled my lifestyle, and it has been easier than ever before, for no other reason than the fact that I made an honest commitment with myself to knock off the crap and get serious about my health.

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[Directory] Find your quests here! -

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Daily journal.

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30 Day Accountability Challenge - October Sign Ups

Hello losers,

This is the October sign up post for the DAC! Welcome!

For the newbies to the sub reddit, please start here, so much good info!

https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick_start_guide

https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/faq

And hey, maybe it’s not a bad idea to review them anyway to you returning conquerors. I do occasionally to remind myself of the basics.

Here’s what we do in the DAC my friends!

This is the sign up post to outline your goals, weight loss, self care, creative, whatever keeps your motor going.

There will be a daily update post for you to chime in about how day whatever is going!

At the end of the month, there is a wrap up post to reflect on the progress you made or didn’t make & what you learned. Learning is progress my friends!

We try to foster a supportive, caring place to discuss the actual day to day of deficits & counting & caring so much about how we fuel our bodies & lives. So be kind, interact if you like & hopefully you feel supported by the internet version of a push up bra!

Leading by example, here I go!

Weight by end of month (199 lbs, preferably trend weight): Not enough scale progress on my end. Gotta keep chasing it my friends.

Stay within calorie range (1700 weekdays to practice eventual maintenance, maintenance weekends, NO FAST FOOD):

Exercise 5 days a week: I want to chase more strength & a higher intensity like always! X/X days.

Self-care journaling (once a week, 60 minutes): Gotta keep the mental health up.

Self-care time (work on not using food as a reward):

Try a new recipe once a week: New stuff keeps it interesting!

Be more mindful, present in my body & express gratitude to avoid the hedonic treadmill: Gotta try to keep an even mental state friends.

Your turn!

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Post #5: adjusted my calorie goal, and things have steadied

So about two weeks ago when I started calorie counting I set my goal as 1780 - while for the first week I was eating over 3000 calories per day. I was pretty discouraged even though I was telling myself it was a starting educational tool. I read someone's post (wish I could link it but I've lost it now) saying they plugged maintenance calories into the app as the goal, and just tried to stay underneath that every single day. Well I have done that the last few days and it has been a HUGE game changer for me, psychologically. My goal is now ~2200 calories, I don't input any exercise, and I aim to just undercut my budget. It feels so good even just for the last 2 days to have a green circle without a huge red indent in it. I'm also not hungry or thinking about food 24x7 as I was when I was trying to eat within 1780 calories. My weight loss will probably be a lot slower - maybe 2 lbs a month if that - but I would almost rather it be really slow, so slow that it doesn't damage my hunger cues, it doesn't harm my metabolism, and I don't regain all the weight in a year. I have ~40 lbs to lose, and that's only 20 months. For the sake of my health, that's nothing. It's worth it to go slow. It's far kinder to myself.

edit - TLDR: working on sustainable weight loss by increasing calories while being in a deficit is helping me mentally. x

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My weight loss journey 1 year later

June 2, 2019, I waddled my 420-pound body up Clifton Hill in Niagara Falls. My wife and I have taken an annual road trip for our anniversary every year since getting married in 2014. Our 2019 trip was special as it was the first time I had ever spent the night outside of the United States.

I had always been fairly athletic despite my size. I played basketball and tennis almost every day growing up. My diet, however, was horrific. I lived off Hot Pockets and ice cream. But exercising every day at least kept me from ballooning as a teenager.

Then adulthood came, and the perceived time I had for exercise was replaced with work and chores. Leisure no longer felt like a priority.

Walking never felt like a challenge, and the walk from our hotel to the falls wasn’t hateful as it was downhill. But returning from the falls, I was gassed. The simple act of walking had fatigued me to the point that I had to stop. I was shameful.

I had never really felt “unhealthy” until this point.

Shamers be shaming

August 3, 2019, was a gut-wrenching day for many of us in the US. That Saturday, I had just taken Jenna’s car to get an oil change. We found out her rear brake lights would not work, and it appeared there were electrical malfunctions. We were planning on replacing her car at the end of the year, so leaning of a potentially expensive electrical issue prompted us to decide on buying a new car.

When I came home, I heard that there was a massacre at the El Paso Walmart. I checked in with our Saturday person at work, and she was going to need some relief at some point (any one who has worked in breaking news understands how draining these massacres are).

After working an unexpected Saturday shift, I went to bed planning on teaching a few classes in the morning and then going to buy Jenna a new car. After briefly falling asleep, I received a text that another massacre happened, this time just 15 miles down the road in Dayton. Having graduated from Wright State and then working at the Dayton Daily News, I had many friends living in that immediate area. My thoughts turned to them as I now had to work another shift, this time in an area I knew quite well.

While reporting on the events taking place in Dayton, some of my tweets went viral. Immediately, some of the responses weren’t about the shooting, but about my weight. There is this huge tragedy happening in Dayton, and my weight was the issue for some on social media.

To be fair to other reporters, this was a new experience for me. For many of my (especially female) colleagues, the vitriol of fat-shamers can be far worse. I am not an on-camera journalist, but for those who are, the shaming can be downright vitriolic. But given the two tragedies going on, it was tough to process this hate I was receiving.

A few weeks later, I watched a segment on Bill Maher’s show about how there should be more fat-shaming in society. It had me thinking that all of those people tweeting at me during another tragic night in our country were the ones who were right, and who am I to judge them?

I decided to get a gym membership. But the very thing that was driving me to get in shape was what was scaring me off. If these fat-shamers are so spiteful online, how much shame will I face at a gym?

Last September, I went for a walk at VOA Park in Butler County, Ohio. The loop there is 1.5 miles. I felt so exhausted just going once around that loop.

I had enough.

I knew I wanted to get into shape.

For several weeks starting around late September 2019, weighing over 420 pounds, I started walking as fast and long as I could. The 1.5-mile walk quickly became 3-mile walks. While I wasn’t seeing results on the scale, I was feeling better mentally.

Shamers replaced with cheerleaders

After a few walks, I already ran into a few folks at VOA Park who saw how much of a sweat I was working up, and gave me so much encouragement to keep moving. I never expected to get thumbs up from people. You quickly realize that for every person out there shaming you, there are dozens ready to push you and help you.

As the weather turned colder, I finally worked up the courage to enter a gym. And it’s true about Planet Fitness… it truly is the “No Judgement Zone.”

People there were so wonderful. Hearing people say “good work” was a great affirmation that I was in the right place.

My time spent exercising prompted me to do a lot of research on how to lose weight, and what I could do to drop weight. There are SO MANY diets out there. Which one is right for me?

It seemed the one constant was you have to watch your calories. If you burn more calories than you consume, you’ll lose weight. I am pretty good with numbers and statistics, so I realized that this could be a winner.

So I decided to go with a 2,000-calorie-a-day diet. Coupled with exercise, I found myself losing weight QUICKLY. In the month of December alone, I lost 25 pounds.

I have not put anything in my body that I don’t track. I track every calorie I eat. It is a great way to hold oneself accountable.

Last December was when exercising no longer felt like a chore but routine. I was no longer “forcing myself” to exercise, and had to force myself to take a few day off for rest.

This habit of eating 2,000 calories a day and exercising almost every day simply became my routine, and unlike past diets, it felt like this one worked for me. If I wanted to have a cookie, I could, but I had to make up for it somewhere else. My habit of eating a whole package of Oreos quickly disappeared, however. I have bought a few package of cookies since, but it seems they spoil before I get a chance to finish the container.

Then came COVID

March 11 started off a good day. My weigh-in had me down 78 pounds since October. I went to the gym and had a good workout on the stair stepper. I then went to work.

Our whole world felt like it changed in one night.

That evening, the NBA suspended the season, President Trump suspended travel between Europe and the US, and Tom Hanks announced he had the coronavirus. It felt like all of a sudden, the coronavirus was going to have a major impact on our way of life for months to come.

Leaving work that night in a bit of a haze, all I wanted to do was stress eat.

I got off at an interstate exit and was about to order a midnight McDonald’s hamburger.

Then when I got to the drive thru, I saw my gym membership dangling from my keys and decided not to undo the effort I put in that day at the gym. So I drove home and opted for a small, more calorie-friendly snack.

In the days to come, I decided to workout from home. I found myself doing step aerobics on a daily basis, thanks to my wife finding a fantastic YouTube channel. I am so thankful for Jenny Ford for her encouragement as she is a great step aerobics instructor. Even though I don’t do step aerobics as often, I plan on doing more as the weather gets colder. It’s a great full-body workout that requires very little equipment. And it doesn’t require going to an indoor gym during a pandemic!

Becoming a runner

At the start of 2020, I thought it would be cool to do a 5K. But I didn’t just want to walk one, so I decided if I could go 5Ks in less than 45 minutes, I’d sign up for one. Little did I know the only options for 2020 would be virtual.

I never really thought I’d enjoy running. It never appealed to me.

In May, I tested myself by seeing how fast I could go at the park. It was the first time I had jogged or walked in two months. I crossed the proverbial finish line in less than 40 minutes.

YES!

Time to sign up for a 5K!

It also turns out running is a great way to burn calories. This started to become my daily routine. It also is such a great way to clear the mind. I put on some music and don’t think about work or the ills of the world.

This is also where I picked up more cheerleaders. I never truly planned on documenting my weight loss journey. I thought to myself I am doing this for myself, and not those dreaded fat-shamers.

But I posted some photos of my first runs, and your support was so overwhelming. It truly motivated me to keep going.

On July 3, I ran my first official 5K. Not that I was counting, but my photo from that day had over 200 Facebook likes... more than I got for my wedding. HAHA

It was time for a new challenge: a 10K. I completed my first 10K on September 14 in 1 hour, 11 minutes. A few days later, I set my 5K PR at 29 minutes.

Let’s say beyond the improvement of my physical health, my mental health has improved so much too.

I have felt so fortunate to have my health and fitness back during a time that so many are suffering, I decided to organize a 5K to benefit Feeding America. A small group of friends have joined, and we have already enough participants to contribute nearly 2,500 meals to Feeding America.

If anyone is interested to join, it is on Facebook as the “Beat COVD, Beat Hunger 5k Fun Run.”

What’s next

As I end my first year of diet and exercise, I can announce I have lost 157 pounds. Even at 263 pounds, I am still considered “obese.” There is more weight I want to lose as I want to continue doing more with running. I have already started planning on running a half marathon in 2021. Nine months ago, even the idea of doing a 5K didn’t feel like a given.

I understand losing weight is not as challenging as maintaining weight loss. But I am sure with the constant support I have received from so many of you, I will give it my all in keeping the weight off.

One reason I write this is because I have gotten several messages from others saying how my new lifestyle has caused them to get more fit. I can’t tell you what it means to be an inspiration to others. Given all of the perceived hate in the world, love is what rules. And I have felt the love from my dear friends and family, especially Jenna!

Thank you to everyone for your love and support. You all mean so much to me and I feel so proud that I have been able to inspire others to get out and enjoy the outdoors.

PS, enjoy this fall weather! This is great running and biking weather!

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Weight Loss Help

Hi everyone. 19 f around 260lbs here. I really would like advice on how to get started on my journey. I have seen so many positive responses on here about getting started and people supporting each other which is what motivated me to make this post. I often lose my motivation because I tend to plan unrealistically. I am in college right now so of course budget is tight in regards to purchasing foods, so this often makes it harder for me to think of healthy food to get that is also affordable. Also, I do not know where to start with exercise; I think walking is a start but I also am really excited and intrigued in getting muscle. I want to lose weight to be a better me and feel better about myself as well as have better health. I would appreciate positive responses. :)

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