So about two weeks ago when I started calorie counting I set my goal as 1780 - while for the first week I was eating over 3000 calories per day. I was pretty discouraged even though I was telling myself it was a starting educational tool. I read someone's post (wish I could link it but I've lost it now) saying they plugged maintenance calories into the app as the goal, and just tried to stay underneath that every single day. Well I have done that the last few days and it has been a HUGE game changer for me, psychologically. My goal is now ~2200 calories, I don't input any exercise, and I aim to just undercut my budget. It feels so good even just for the last 2 days to have a green circle without a huge red indent in it. I'm also not hungry or thinking about food 24x7 as I was when I was trying to eat within 1780 calories. My weight loss will probably be a lot slower - maybe 2 lbs a month if that - but I would almost rather it be really slow, so slow that it doesn't damage my hunger cues, it doesn't harm my metabolism, and I don't regain all the weight in a year. I have ~40 lbs to lose, and that's only 20 months. For the sake of my health, that's nothing. It's worth it to go slow. It's far kinder to myself.
edit - TLDR: working on sustainable weight loss by increasing calories while being in a deficit is helping me mentally. x
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