Feedback on my plan

Hi all,

I am a 47 year old woman who has been overweight her entire life. I am one of those "tried everything, failed everything" types. I've lost weight but I always regain it. I have a lot of knowledge about weight loss (I'm a CICO, TDEE, the best diet is the one you can stick with advocate) so it's not a lack of understanding about the mechanics of weight loss that is the problem. Recently, I've sat down and thought about the behavioural issues that affect me. I put down some thoughts about it and I would love any feedback/extra advice about how to mange these ongoing problems. I thought they might be helpful for anyone who struggles with the same kinds of issues.

For context, I'm a single mother who works an emotionally and time demanding job. If I don't organise food, we don't eat. I'm often exhausted when I walk through the door. I also struggle with my own mental health. Organising and planning food for me is and always has been an issue - it's not something that comes naturally to me and it takes mental energy and effort just to do that part.

I've broken it into Calories In (Food), Calories Out (Exercise) and Unhelpful Thinking (obsessive thoughts about my weight):

Calories in:

Problem 1: Coming home late from work and being too tired/disorganised to cook

Solutions:

1. Plan meals every week and online shop every Thursday for weekend delivery
2. Have some cooked meals premade and in the freezer
3. Have some emergency Lean Cuisine meals in the freezer
4. Have some quick simple meals as a backup option - eggs, soup etc.

Problem 2: Letting myself get too hungry and then overeating

Solutions:

1. 16:8 IF. Eating window = 12pm-8pm
2. Eat lunch, no matter what (I take medication that makes me not want to eat breakfast but can also make it easy to skip lunch)
3. Remember, how hungry you are is a sign of how SOON you need to eat, not how MUCH (saw this gem on r/loseit this week - brilliant!)

Problem 3: Using food as a comfort tool (this is a biggie)

Solutions:

1. Recognise and distract: shower, listen to music, drink water, meditate/yoga
2. Do some DBT Distress Tolerance worksheets
3. Exercise in it's place - go for a walk, do some skipping
4. Work on some other self-soothing options (still to be determined, suggestions welcomed)

Calories out

Problem 1: Feeling like I don't have the time or energy to exercise

Solutions:

1. I MUST exercise in the morning. I'm not a morning person at all but if you don't do it first up in the day, there are too many reasons/excuses to not be able to fit it in. Plus, your dog is fat. Walk him.

Problem 2: I just generally hate exercise. It's boring and repetitive. I'm asthmatic. I hate the heat. I hate sport and would never join a team sport of any sort.

Solutions:

1. Ok - help. I have nothing for this one.

Unhelpful Thinking

Problem 1: Obsessing over CICO

(Yes, the evidence says that those who track and weigh regularly lose the most weight. However, for someone with obsessive thinking patterns, this can be a double-edged sword that can lead to spirals into negative thinking).

Solutions:

1. Only weigh in once a month (and not before or during Shark Week).
2. If planning meals, pre-fill MFP for the week and only add or subtract if you stray from the plan.
3. Stop thinking in terms of kilos lost and more in general wellbeing - how did you feel physically today? Satiated? Nourished? Enough energy to get everything done? (I can get into loops like "Ok, there's 15 weeks until Christmas, that means I could lose 15kgs before Christmas but only if I'm under my TDEE by 1000 calories a day so that I'm in deficit of 7000 calories a week which means I can't eat any more than 1200 calories a day and I also have to exercise off 500 calories a day, EVERY DAY, otherwise I won't lose the weight and then I'll be fat at Christmas and I still won't have any nice clothes to wear when I see family and they'll know I still haven't lost any weight but they won't say anything but I'll know they know and then and then and then...." - not helpful and mentally exhausting).

Problem 2: Being unable to engage in life until I reach a magic number

(Most of my clothes don't fit but I refuse to buy new ones because I'm definitely not staying at this weight so that would be a waste of money but not wanting to go out anywhere because i have no nice clothes - I told you obsessive thinking was a problem).

Solutions:

1. Just buy some damn clothes. No, you won't be happy with how you look. But you'll be a damn side happier that trying to squeeze into clothes that are too small.
2. Nobody but you thinks about your weight. Nobody but you cares about your weight. None of your friends became your friends because of your weight. Do you hair, do your makeup, look as nice as you can and concentrate on other people's happiness when you see them.
3. Ok so maybe dating is a bridge too far at the moment. Concentrate on building a healthy lifestyle you can sustain than includes active hobbies and making new friends. The rest will come.

​

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I'd love to hear any other suggestions you might have!

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