tl;dr: I weighed everything I ate, used the Lose It app, logged everything even when I went way over, and have lost 58lbs in 6 months.
I've lost ~60 lbs since April. I'm 5'8". My weight was 245 in March, and I'm 186 now. My goal weight is 145, but I'm posting now because I'm beginning to think about this process less and less. Maybe this is what people meant when they said that time was going to pass either way. If you put good habits in place, and you let time pass, you get results. I'm slowly but surely getting those results. I've written this in the hopes that it can motivate you if you need motivation. My only regret is a common one: I wish I had done this years ago.
One day, I randomly started weighing my food. That's how it began. I was curious, and I weighed out a portion of cheese I was about to eat, and saw that I was planning on eating four times the normal serving. Since that day I've been weighing my food and logging it in Lose It.
My overall rate of loss is 1.63 lbs/week. I used the app's calorie goals until it took me down to 1200, which was too low for me, so I set a manual limit of 1300, which is where I am now. I'm not working out at all except for the occasional dog walk around the neighborhood. I sit around as much as ever, but it's much easier to pop up and move around than it used to be, so I probably do move more overall.
Here are the ways my life has changed that I didn't expect. I hope my experience helps someone else.
Honesty: Nathaniel Branden articulated the change in my life. I began reading his books a month after I made significant changes, and I realized that what he was describing was what I had done. I was made aware that I was eating huge portions of hugely caloric foods. I knew that already, but it was in the background, like an email reply I kept needing to write. Then, suddenly, I was punched in the face with reality, and instead of choosing ignorance and bliss, I chose reality. I chose to live in reality. It's a radical choice. Honesty meant that I would log every food I ate. Even if I went to the donut shop and ate two dozen donuts, I would log it. Honestly. If I ate a whole pizza and cinnamon whatevers from Domino's, I'd log it. Honestly. If I really wanted to eat something and it was over my calories, I would eat it, and log it.
The failure of so many of my weight loss attempts in the past can be traced to dishonesty. There's a reason we call it a "cheat day." For me, cheating is just dishonesty in broad daylight.
Honesty has become a much bigger part of my life overall because of this change. I've always been honest; I never told white lies. But now I realize that lying to yourself is still lying. I don't have a time machine, but I think we used to consider a person's character to be something significant, something you cultivated and maintained, and something that relied on foundations of qualities like honesty. I've rediscovered honesty as a foundation that behavior comes from, not a pass / fail exam I take when I make a public claim. This has obviously transformed my body, but I've also stopped messing around on Instagram. That app should be called Photographic Falsehoods. I've stopped believing gossip because it doesn't come from the primary source. If I wasn't there, I don't believe a sensational story about someone. I've stopped taking news analysis and headlines as fact and started watching politicians' statements in full (which are sometimes hard to find), like when I believed Trump said white supremacists at Charlottesville were good people until I watched his full statement and he didn't. I've stopped assuming malice from people's actions, like mistakes at work or someone on the HOA telling me I'm in violation of a bylaw. Honesty is shocking and liberating and radical at the same time. Yet it's far more peaceful mentally.
Crossing my legs: I used to have to haul one leg over the other, pulling on it with my hands to get it in a place that didn't hurt. And then it would hurt after a few minutes anyway. Now, I can cross them easily, they don't hurt quickly, and I don't take up nearly as much space while crossing them.
Flexibility: I haven't worked on my flexibility at all. (Haven't worked out at all.) And yet even still, when I go to sit on a couch or in an upholstered chair, I naturally tuck my legs under me and contort myself in all sorts of shapes. I've never done this before and didn't think I was even the type of person to do it. Chairs and couches often hurt my back because I would sit on the cushion and lean back, which, for whatever reason, hurt my back. Not anymore. I've been much more comfortable sitting on anything soft, and again, I take up much less space.
Mattress: I used to think all mattresses sagged within a year or so of getting them. I'm sure that's true to an extent, especially depending on the material it's made of, but the innerspring mattress that I got about a year ago and thought I was already wearing out has seemingly improved in quality. It doesn't sag because I'm not piling an extra 58 pounds on it. It also used to squeak with every move I made at night, which is, shall we say, undesirable. It stopped doing that, too.
Jeans: I was 245lbs, squeezing my body into a size 20 jeans. I'm now a loose 18. It's been nice to go back to my "skinny jeans" and wear those instead of having to buy everything new. But it also says something about the fat distribution I had. Guess it was all in my eyebrows or something. Ha.
Feet: I used to get really dry heels. I would moisturize them nightly with a special sock. If I missed one day, they'd go back to being right angles instead of rounded. Now I don't have to do that anymore, wear flip flops even now at least every other day, and they still look rounded.
People noticing: Since I've been doing this by myself for so long, I kinda forget about it. We had a socially distanced work party recently, and I thought that some people might notice, but didn't have high expectations. A friend from work who I've seen often has said that she doesn't really notice because she sees me all the time. But, I also noticed once I really started losing major poundage, she started working out and eating healthier too. At the socially distanced work event, people were just greeting each other, saying it was good to see everyone. Then as I was walking along, someone stopped me and went into a long "holy shit you look amazing" speech. Which felt GREAT. I said I wasn't sure anyone noticed because no one had said anything, and those two people said everyone had to notice because it was a huge difference. They asked me what I had done, and seemed receptive to my boring and simple explanation. The main question was "do you still eat the things you want?" And I said of course, but within reason now. One other person said in passing "you look great," and the next day on a video call, a coworker said she saw me from a distance and noticed I looked great. The interesting pattern I noticed was that people who tend to say something positive are people who are one or more: friendlier / women / more southern / funnier / overweight / happier / "brutally" honest. The ones who don't say anything tend to be: more "polite" / thinner / feminine / men / city dwellers.
People being nicer: At the work event, the group of younger guys who I am friendly with—but not friends I'd seek out in a crowd—made a point to talk to me. Another male coworker who is a friend declared to a group call that he really wanted to catch up with me soon. I don't think any of these guys are romantically interested in me. I do know some men are attracted to overweight women. But I've developed a new theory: Men tend to be less friendly to overweight women because they don't want the women to mistake the friendliness as romantic interest, or have it be seen as romantic interest by their friends. They're friendlier to healthy weight women because, if that woman mistakes their friendliness for romantic interest, well, they just feel more like Adonis. So in a weird way, their rejection of overweight women could be partially because of their own insecurity. Just a theory.
Self-esteem: I read a book by Nathaniel Branden that said self esteem is feeling like you are well suited to your life, and you feel like you are capable of dealing with its challenges. To me, this explains why I had low self esteem when I was obese, and why it has improved since losing weight. I feel more capable of meeting life's challenges now, even if it's just sitting with friends in a park and standing up again at the end. Having a body that feels right increases my confidence to try things.
Going downstairs: I realized about a month ago that I don't worry if someone sees me hurrying downstairs. I used to worry about it because I was really jiggly. Now, it's just the boobs.
Seeing overweight people: I don't think about other people much unless I'm looking right at them. Sometimes, when I see someone who is young and overweight, and from body language seems uncomfortable, I feel bad for them because I know how much my life was limited by not feeling suited to it in the body I had. It's also like when you're thinking of buying a car, and suddenly you see that car everywhere. I see how many overweight and obese people there are today, and it is mind blowing when you consider the change from a few decades ago.
The 29%: The CDC says that 71% of American adults are overweight or obese. I haven't been in many winning brackets in my life, but this is one I can control, and I want to be one of those rare healthy weight people.
Healthy food: I used to think healthy food was gross. Now I have a taste for it and I realize I was wrong. I think of food differently now. I hold the nutritional value of whole foods in much higher regard than I used to. I get excited about good fruit.
Unhealthy food: I used to think that I was "treating myself" all the time—that naughty foods were a consolation for life's disappointments. Now I see tasty, unhealthy food as a novelty. I think that's where they all began. The milkshake isn't so different from the fried Oreo. There's nothing wrong with cookie dough wrapped in a wonton wrapper and deep fried, but it's certainly a novelty, and I've begun to treat it that way. I don't eat state fair food every day. It wasn't intended to be eaten every day. Many more foods fall into this category than just the ones they actually sell at the fair.
Digestion: I used to get an upset stomach all the time. It really limited my life. Thought I had IBS. The vast majority of those issues are completely gone, or are predictable.
Skin tone: My face used to be red most of the time, and the difference in color between my cheeks and my neck was significant. Now, my skin is far less red overall.
The step ladder: I have a step ladder that has a 220 lb weight limit. I used to get up on it all the time when I was 240+, and each time I would take things up on the step ladder with me too, I would hope that this wasn't going to be the time it broke and killed me. Now I am safely within the weight limit, no matter what I take up there with me.
Meal planning / prep: I eat a salad every day for lunch. I have several dressings and rotate in veggies and toppings like wonton strips. I have a vacuum sealer and make chicken in bulk for lunch and freeze it, which has been very helpful. It's a great way to eat lunch and has made my life much easier. Dinner is usually a lean meat (because I can eat more of it) and 2-3 vegetable sides. I think I eat dinner like they did in 1950, and it's pretty good. I have a vacuum sealer and make chicken in bulk for lunch and freeze it, which has been very helpful.
I'm writing this now because I don't come here as much anymore, and I've already forgotten some of the things I thought "oh wow!" about earlier. This feels more like a lifestyle now, and I don't think about it as often as I did before.
If I can do this, you can do it too. Being honest with myself and weighing everything has brought me a lot of freedom and a whole new life.
