To start I am (18f) 5’7” and my cw is 230lbs (gw 140lbs). I have always struggled with disordered eating ever since I was young, and I had undiagnosed anorexia nervosa and I was at my lowest weight (around 95lbs). I never got official treatment for it but I did go to inpatient after a suicide attempt three years ago. Since then I’ve been binging at every meal and it got me to my current weight now. I’m trying my hardest to not slip into disordered eating again, but now that I have my mindset on weight loss to get to a healthy weight I find myself doing things that I used to do while I was anorexic. For example I find it nearly irresistible to not weigh myself every day or multiple times a day, I also find myself cutting normal sized food portions in half so I can get less calories per meal. Today I “forgot” to eat dinner so I could stay under my 1000 cal limit (my cal intake is supposed to be 1,500). The longer I go on with this weight loss (I’ve lost 10lbs since I started a week or so ago) I find myself slipping further and further back to my old ways. I want to lose weight the healthy way I want children in the future and if I carry on like this I will lose my reproductive system it will be unlikely for me to be able to carry a child. But the other part of me doesn’t care and all I want is to be thin and I don’t care what gets me there. I don’t know what to do and since I’m overweight I can’t get treatment anymore.
If anyone that has gone through disordered eating can you help me with this I will be extremely grateful. And if anyone has any tips that I can use that will keep me on track that would be amazing.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/31S7EU6
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