First post to this community, and on mobile, no less. Be gentle, please.
I first started down the slippery slope of gaining weight after I lost my beloved grandpa on 2018. I had gained a little previously, but actually managed to lose 30 pounds to go from 210 to 180 in preparation for my wedding.
My depression had been waning until that point, but losing PawPaw kicked it into overdrive. I turned to weed to cope. Long story short, I very quickly went from 180 to 250 at my highest.
I was just so fucking sad, I wanted anything to make the hurt go away, even for a minute. Weed sort of helped, bit with the catch that I would become a snack dumpster, just eating trash until I was sick a few times.
I got into therapy, went back to school. Things started looking better. Weight loss was on the back burner for a while as I laser focused on school. I basically steadied for a while.
Recently, I started doing exercise in earnest, along with tracking my food and exercise with the Lose It app. Since I finished school, I've been able to put more focus onto trying to lose weight. And honestly, it wasn't really fast or a whole lot, but I managed to go from 231 in September to 218 as of last week. I was elated.
I thought I was doing alright. But then this past Tuesday, my dog suddenly got very ill and passed away in my arms. It was so fucking fast- she had been acting totally fine on Monday. She was acting a little off that night, but it escalated so goddamn fast. The situation went from "she probably has a stomach bug," to "her kidneys and liver are shutting down, and this blood test indicates she likely has cancer" within 10 hours.
I am broken. I have still been tracking my calories, but eating infrequently, but eating pizza or lazy food when I do. Honestly, it's been hard time get out of bed and shower, let alone exercise. I've skipped my regimen 3 times this week, and I'm so mad at myself. It's not even long, it's just a 12-17 minute workout routine from the Lose Weight 30 Days For Women app...not a whole Zumba video or some shit. But I just can't focus.
My heart is broken, and I worry that it's going to send me down the same path I went when I lost my grandpa and completely fuck over all the progress I made.
Not sure what I'm asking, if anything. I guess I'm just looking for support? Idk.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3jKU8aR
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