I weighed in after a depressing Halloween night...

And the scale showed my goal weight. I can officially eat at maintenance.

I honestly have mixed feelings about reaching my goal weight and losing 25 lbs in exactly 3 months; I have become accustomed to (and even enjoy) eating my boring vegan diet, meal prepping every week, eating at a deficiet. I don't have a lot of money so buying additional healthy food will be somewhat difficult.

I feel like I should feel so proud and exhilerated, and I am about having the strength to battle a binge eating disorder and reimplement healthy habits, but it all just feels slightly muted and numbing. My insecurities of needing validation and attention were made apparent last night. I just wish I could love myself. That I could be enough even when others don't vocalize or demonstrate that. And even though losing weight has helped me feel more confident, it is definately not a solution for all problems. Comparison is the thief of happiness.

Now here's to beginning my mental weight loss, where I shed all the extra baggage of negative self image and beliefs.

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(SV) SW: 210, CW: 180, GW: 140 - 5'5"

My weight loss journey started because my boyfriend told me he was not attracted to me anymore. I slowly incorporated changes by counting calories to see how much I was actually eating and then aiming to drop my calories to 1495 a day to lose about 1.5lbs a week. Then I started adding more exercise, now I bike a couple of times a week and try to run a few times a week. I switched to the intermittent fasting method and only eat twice a day now and I'm down 30lbs to my lowest weight since high school! He broke up with me a few days ago and I don't want it to impede my progress because I'm doing it for myself at this point but I haven't had motivation to do anything for the last week. I'm looking for advice on getting back on track. I haven't allowed myself to overeat in the week but I've been drinking quite a bit. I'm posting to keep myself accountable as well. I think reading posts in this community has really helped me realize that lasting change is important and I appreciate this community so much.

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Falling off the wagon

Hello all. Weight loss is a serious struggle, as I am sure you all know. I have struggled with Binge Eating Disorder for a good chunk of my life, long before I even knew that there was a disorder with that name. However, I can certainly tell you that I have always loved food. My mother says that as a baby, I wanted to be fed constantly.

Anyway, I have lost a lot of weight. My highest weight was something like 320, and I recently got as low as 180, though I am back up to 210. I hovered around 300 for several years, through college and grad school and thereafter, until I finally was able to do Beachbody's 21 Day Fix program. (I am not trying to advertise here, of course, I am simply telling you how I did it.) Since then I still try to follow the food plan, but have done other exercise programs since then such as TurboFire, 21 Day Fix Extreme, T25, etc. I can safely say that even though I have fallen off the wagon with eating several times, I have not given up exercise.

Regardless, I am having trouble getting back on. I know I said I got as low as 180, but this morning I weighed myself and found I was about 210. Granted, some of this is likely bloat and water weight, seeing as I did binge several times within the past few days, and I am in the middle of my period. But I can say that I am probably about 200 pounds, give or take. I hate myself for letting myself gain this weight after getting down so low, and I keep looking in the mirror and seeing a fat slob, when before I was seeing someone who was getting thinner and prettier.

I am concerned too because it is getting into the holiday season. Halloween already provided ample opportunities for me to gorge myself. I recently moved as well, finally leaving my parents' house and getting my own place, and I can easily say that the stress of that was one of the major reasons I fell off the wagon in August. I am still very stressed right now... I work full time as a software engineer (which I absolutely love), but I am a professional musician on top of that. My music career has really taken off lately, which is great! But unfortunately I am so incredibly busy all the time, especially during the holidays.

This will also sound very silly, but when I first hit my 100 pound mark, I inspired an internet friend of mine to start her weight loss journey. (I know she lurks here sometimes, so if you're here, then hi! <3) And now that she has gotten so far, hitting her own 100 pound mark, I feel like a failure for having fallen off the wagon. Now she has lost more weight than I have. I know it's not a competition, but I feel like it's really hammering my failure in.

My main issue is food and bingeing. I have a very "all or nothing" attitude, which I know is not helpful. I can follow a plan really well throughout the day, but at night after a long rehearsal and work day, when they're handing out Halloween candy and I have to drive an hour home, that candy looks pretty damned good. And it's not like I eat one piece; I eat a lot of them. I am doing several Christmas shows this year, one of which I had done last year, and the pit and I would often go out to dinner between shows. Or there would be cookies and candy or whatever in the green room. And like I said, the stress of the performances and all will make me all the more likely to fall off the wagon.

I have told myself that November is my month. It's a new day and a new month. I am not worried about Thanksgiving because surprisingly my family and I have always had a fairly healthy Thanksgiving. I just need to be able to not buy shitty binge food at the grocery store, and I need to resist when I am stressed and there is delicious junk food. Apologies for the tl;dr! I am part of the Mario challenge right now, which has gotten me to take more walks in addition to exercise, but I feel shitty because my weight has not gone down, but has gone up.

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4 Favorite Fall Recipes (PS. They’re Pumpkin-Free!)

An interesting observation

This is my third time losing over 90 pounds. Each of the previous two times, I gained it all back, plus more. Thanks to my meticulous tracking during my periods of weight loss, I have data going back over 15 years.

https://imgur.com/a/5PF0xct

When I put it all into one spreadsheet and created a graph, I noticed something interesting. When I gained weight back the previous two times, I stopped weighing myself regularly before I experienced significant weight gain. This created a horrible cycle:

Binge/overeat --> don't weigh self because I don't want to see the result --> keep eating because I don't have to see the result

And eventually I'd regained everything I'd lost plus some. This time around, I'm trying to learn from the lessons of my previous experience so that I'm not doomed to repeat the same cycle. This has been a huge insight for me, and I hope it can help someone else!

I find it helpful to weigh every day, but a lot of people find that it becomes too obsessive. You don't have to weigh daily, but if you're anything like me, you should weigh regularly - whether it's weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly.

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Day 1? Starting your weight loss journey on Thursday, 01 November 2018? Start here!

Today is your Day 1?

Welcome to r/Loseit!

So you aren’t sure of how to start? Don’t worry! “How do I get started?” is our most asked question. r/Loseit has helped our users lose over 1,000,000 recorded pounds and these are the steps that we’ve found most useful for getting started.

Why you’re overweight

Our bodies are amazing (yes, yours too!). In order to survive before supermarkets, we had to be able to store energy to get us through lean times, we store this energy as adipose fat tissue. If you put more energy into your body than it needs, it stores it, for (potential) later use. When you put in less than it needs, it uses the stored energy. The more energy you have stored, the more overweight you are. The trick is to get your body to use the stored energy, which can only be done if you give it less energy than it needs, consistently.

Before You Start

The very first step is calculating your calorie needs. You can do that HERE. This will give you an approximation of your calorie needs for the day. The next step is to figure how quickly you want to lose the fat. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. So to lose 1 pound of fat per week you will need to consume 500 calories less than your TDEE (daily calorie needs from the link above). 750 calories less will result in 1.5 pounds and 1000 calories is an aggressive 2 pounds per week.

Tracking

Here is where it begins to resemble work. The most efficient way to lose the weight you desire is to track your calorie intake. This has gotten much simpler over the years and today it can be done right from your smartphone or computer. r/loseit recommends an app like MyFitnessPal, Loseit! (unaffiliated), or Cronometer. Create an account and be honest with it about your current stats, activities, and goals. This is your tracker and no one else needs to see it so don’t cheat the numbers. You’ll find large user created databases that make logging and tracking your food and drinks easy with just the tap of the screen or the push of a button. We also highly recommend the use of a digital kitchen scale for accuracy. Knowing how much of what you're eating is more important than what you're eating. Why? This may explain it.

Creating Your Deficit

How do you create a deficit? This is up to you. r/loseit has a few recommendations but ultimately that decision is yours. There is no perfect diet for everyone. There is a perfect diet for you and you can create it. You can eat less of exactly what you eat now. If you like pizza you can have pizza. Have 2 slices instead of 4. You can try lower calorie replacements for calorie dense foods. Some of the communities favorites are cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash in place of their more calorie rich cousins. If it appeals to you an entire dietary change like Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian.

The most important thing to remember is that this selection of foods works for you. Sustainability is the key to long term weight management success. If you hate what you’re eating you won’t stick to it.

Exercise

Is NOT mandatory. You can lose fat and create a deficit through diet alone. There is no requirement of exercise to lose weight.

It has it’s own benefits though. You will burn extra calories. Exercise is shown to be beneficial to mental health and creates an endorphin rush as well. It makes people feel awesome and has been linked to higher rates of long term success when physical activity is included in lifestyle changes.

Crawl, Walk, Run

It can seem like one needs to make a 180 degree course correction to find success. That isn’t necessarily true. Many of our users find that creating small initial changes that build a foundation allows them to progress forward in even, sustained, increments.

Acceptance

You will struggle. We have all struggled. This is natural. There is no tip or trick to get through this though. We encourage you to recognize why you are struggling and forgive yourself for whatever reason that may be. If you overindulged at your last meal that is ok. You can resolve to make the next meal better.

Do not let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress. We don’t need perfect. We just want better.

Additional resources

Now you’re ready to do this. Here are more details, that may help you refine your plan.

• Quick Start Guide - Build your foundation!
• Loseit Compendium - Frame it out!
• FAQ - Answers to our most Frequently Asked Questions!

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30 Day Accountability Challenge - October wrap up!

Happy Halloween everyone! It is also the last day of this fabulous month. I hope you have conquered & taken joy in October! I'm taking a hostess break for November but I will be around & cheering y'all on! The lovely Joisan08 is hosting, here's the sign up post - https://redd.it/9rz0y9

Goal wrap up -

Stupid extra toothpaste: I did mediocre here. I will keep this goal until it is the final step in my stupid oral hygiene routine.

Weight by end of the month < 300: Started the month at: 310.4, 311 trend weight. This morning: 294.4, 297.6 trend weight. Delta: 16 lbs, 13.4 trend weight.

I call this a mother fucking victory.

Stay within calorie goal of 1650: My net calories were in goal/lower than goal. I took an extra maintenance day. I tried to let myself have extra calories when it felt like my body not my brain wanted it. Brain versus body hungry is still sometimes tough to discern. But the rate of loss told me I was okay to have a little more when I felt my body needed it.

Exercise 5 days a week & really get a sweat on: 22/31 for the month. I pushed myself for more intensity when I work out & I think it really paid off as far as results. I still have a lot of fat but damn if I'm not feeling muscle tone under it. Plus my butt changed shape.

Improve my relationship with food & my body: It can be tough to roll with all the punches when you wake up in a different body damn near every day because of weight loss shenanigans. I think being mindful & appreciative of those changes is important. I was much more pleased with my body this month than last.

Journal once a week, uninterrupted 60 minutes about stuff that matters (in addition to other journaling I already do): 4/4 weeks down. Keeps me closer to sane.

Self-care treat once a week: 4/4 weeks down. I'm getting pretty okay at taking care of my self.

Let's hear about everyone's month long journey, shall we? And tell us if you're dressed up! :)

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