Tuesday, April 16, 2019

How to stop eating when I'm not hungry?

So, I've been trying to get back on the weight loss bandwagon for a bit now. My lowest weight was 160 last year, although I was pretty sick. Today when I went in to the doctors office I was at 188 and I noticed when I was leaving, I ended up going home and eating food. Not because I was hungry. Not even for the taste since I can't taste or smell anything, and I realized I don't just eat when I'm bored but I east just to eat. I had a handle on it a while ago where for a year and a half I only ate when hungry and only ate healthy things, but now I have no idea where to start again.

How do I stop eating when I'm not hungry? What methods helped you?

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Bitch, did I say I was Ugly? [RANT]

(This is my first time posting here so please let me know if this isn’t the place for this)

(F20, 5’9”, CW 215lbs/GW 150lbs)

My weight loss journey started in January at 205lbs. I don’t own a scale so I wait to see my progress at doctors offices when they weigh me.

So yesterday, when my doctor weighed me I found that I gained 10lbs since early March. I was very frustrated because my progress and determination is not yielding any results. I haven’t been as strict as I could be, yes, but I truly have been trying to do all the things my doctor told me to do earlier this year, and have nothing to physically show for it except for weight gain(?)... so I had a little breakdown, and the doctor replied with something that kinda took me aback. The conversation went as follows:

Me: I am 20 years old, and 215 pounds. I am constantly uncomfortable, I feel my weight around me constantly. None of my clothes fit me anymore, just look at what I’m wearing?? (points to leggings and a baggy shirt) I am eating mindfully, I cut back on carbs and sugars, I don’t eat fast food or drink soda, I try to get in exercise when I can, Id like to think I live a relatively healthy lifestyle?? I’m just tired of feeling like this!

Doctor: feeling like what?

Me: FAT! I’m tired of feeling fat!!

Doctor: takes off glasses Well, I’d just like to say that you are very pretty.

Me: insert confused nick young meme (thinking: bitch, did I say I was ugly??) Um... yes, I know that I’m pretty?? I never said I wasn’t? I’m FAT, not UGLY.

It just bothered me. My fat doesn’t coincide with my physical attractiveness. Those are two separate things. I’m sure once I lose weight, I will become more attractive because our society favors thin and fit, but I am doing this for my health! And my body! Not for looks. It just surprised me that my doctor would tell me this when I very obviously was concerned about my body.

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how do i stop binging?

i unfortunately, have binge eating disorder, and i know that alot of people that have gone through a weight loss journey/health journey, have also suffered from binge eating at one point in their lives. today i binged, and while i was doing it, i knew i was binging, and i couldn't stop myself even through i was already full. i also know what triggered this specific binge but most of the time there is no trigger, it just happens. the longest i went without binging was 13 days. this time i lasted for 8 days. i need help and i don't need to hear the usual "make sure there isn't snacks at your house" or the "drink lots of water" or the "get lots of sleep" or the "go for a walk" etc. i need NEW advice, NEW ideas, because this stuff isn't working for me. i need to stop binging, not just because it's making my weight loss journey go slower, but also because it's not good for my mental AND physical health. how did you deal with binge eating? what helped? what didn't? any new tips and tricks you found out about? i would really appreciate the help.

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This "marathon" feels endless...

30f, 6feet tall. sw approximately 430, gw 170, cw 257.

Ive been overweight my whole life, except for a year when i was 15 y/o. Was at my highest at 20 y/o, with my highest measured weight at 430 (after a cuople of weeks of dieting). Back then i had given up on everything and just drowned my depression in anything tasty. As it spiraled into chaos, the more i thougt it didnt matter, that i had reached the point of no return. Truth is, i was so scared of living, i thought trying to turn everything around wasnt worth it.

I have gotten help for my mental problems and for dealing with the weight loss. I am in a good place now - just need to vent.

Lost about 135 pounds in 10 years, including yoyoing, bingeing and maintenance. Last year i got my bingeing under control but when i turned 30 this winther, i knew it was time to step it up. Found this sub (this is my first post), started IF, moved on to OMAD, and am down 38 pounds in 2019.

I know i am on the right track, i am stronger, healtier than ive ever been in my adult life, and that i am going to reach my goal!

... but sometimes i just get so tired of it all...

the journey in itself is hard enough, without the wellmeaning weightloss/health advise, the everchanging wardrobe, the skin, the looks in my danceclass and gym because flubber is loose...

I try not to give a f*ck, but sometimes it all just gets to me.

Today i realised that i have to donate my favorite pants because they look like a sack of potatoes on me, didnt know wether to laugh or cry..

I know everything is changing to the better! and i know it is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes it just feels like its never going to end..

Can anyone relate?

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Hit 305lb, decided it was enough and now I'm getting in the best shape of my life.

A year after moving to the states and getting dumped by my manipulative ex. I was depressed, I hit 305lb, the heaviest I've ever been, not a crazy noticeable on my 6'2" frame.

But I had had enough, I decided I was going to take positive steps to improve my health, get my weight down and become more active; so a friend of mine suggested I try something he's been doing to manage his autism for the past 5 years.

  1. Late Jan this year I went keto; I was super strict for the first 3 weeks. Got over the flu, only had symptoms for about a half a day (Thanks MCT oil). My goal was simply to make it for 28 days, to turn it into a habit; If my health deteriorated, like my blood glucose acted up or my cholesterol tried to kill me I'd deal with it when it became an issue. I was not ready for what came next.
  2. . I learned to ski 2 years ago, but had only been maybe 3 times since then. I decided I would take it up for real, my goal was 10 ski days this year. I made a group at work, welcomed everyone to join as beginners, and pushed it. I was passionate, because I really do love skiing; It made a huge difference. It became an obsession.
  3. 3 weeks into keto, it kicked in hard. I was cooking at home, avoiding carbs politely, no cheat days. I had 1 cup of coffee at 7:30am, and I was wired all day; I swear if I had another I'd no-clip through walls. I had energy, focus, and I was driven. I've lost 20lb at this point, and I'm all in, I have no intention to stop.
  4. I started skiing twice a week, I drove 1hr each way to my nearest hill. I bought boots, still renting skiis (but next season I'll buy skis). I got really good at it. I though: "Hey I'll start by doing all the greens at this mountain, that's my goal, work slowly, have fun." 14 days of skiing in, I was doing every Intermediate (Blue) trail, and was about to do my first Black Diamond trail when disaster struck.
  5. It's been 9 weeks of keto at this point, some Thursdays I fast and eat burgers, fries, beer, and have ice cream (that's the day the guys hang out at my local bar). But next morning I'm back strictly to my diet. I've lost 25lb at this point, weight loss has slowed, but is still going and is happily sustainable.
  6. I took off work a half day to go skiing on a beautiful bluebird day. I was doing my 2nd warmup run and I bit it hard on ice. I sprained my ankle, I just knew it. I've never had a broken bone or serious injury, and I knew it wasn't broken, it was just going to swell up and be a pain for a while. I skied down, because at this point I'm not a quitter and I had taught myself to ski on 1 leg for shits and giggles, that's a useful skill now. Left the mountain early on the day I was going to do my first Expert run (Black Diamond). But no big deal. I had Ice cream and celebrated, why? You'll see.
  7. Keto does funny things to you, I get home and when I used to lay around, nap or watch tv and fall asleep. On keto, I got home and cleaned, ran around doing things, had way too much energy, so I started making an app for my local game store to run their tournaments. On the day I fell and sprained my ankle I finished the first release of it, it was a bad day, and then it was a great day.
  8. It's been 11 weeks, I'm on my 12th now since I started this journey. I have no intention of stopping, all the carbs, save for fiber and cat food are gone from my house. I purchased a mountain bike, as I need something to do while it's warm out, and this seems like fun, even if it's just cross-country. I'm buying a house this year, looking for a real estate agent this week. And I've lost 31lb so far. I'm in better shape than I was when I move to the states, even though I only weigh 5 or 6lb less than I did when I moved. I've made a ton of friends, and I can see the end of the tunnel. Hell, I'm considering weight lifting, we'll see.

What's my next goal? Mountain Biking, once a week for now; twice a week later. Keeping keto going. And buying a house.

What I learned from all this, is it all starts with one stupid suggestion from a friend, but more importantly, don't be vague with your goals, set SMALL, ACHIEVABLE, and MEASURABLE goals. Eventually, over time, they become bigger and bigger. Get out of bed earlier, even if it's just 5 minutes, for a week, for 2 weeks, for a month, eventually that tiny rolling rock can't be stopped.

Don't compete or compare yourself to other people, only worry about if you're doing better than you were yesterday, or last week, or last year.

See you on the slopes!

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SV [M/23/5’11”] 415lbs to 240lbs = 175lbs Lost!

Let me preface this by saying weight loss is not a cure all... I thought weight loss would cure my depression. It didn’t. I thought weight loss could stop me from hating myself. It didn’t. I thought weight loss would help my self esteem. It didn’t. It helped (a lot) in these areas, but I still struggle with all of them.

Hey guys, hope y’all are doing well today! Just wanted to share some before and after pictures from my recent weight loss journey!

Before we get into that, let me tell you a little bit about myself.

I’ve always been a big guy, I’ve struggled with depression and drug abuse since I was about 13 years old, which lead me to become a full fledged Xanax/benzo and cocaine addict at the age of 18.

What really got me to 400+ pounds was when I went to college. I was in a deep depression and all I did all day everyday was lay in bed, eat shitty food, drink beer, and sell pills. I never attended class and was kicked out after my second year.

Now, I didn’t even realize how out of control my weight had gotten until my friends started expressing how worried they were about me. I took their concerns to heart and ended up deciding to pursue weight loss surgery.

I ended up getting a Vertical Sleeve done last September and it has single handedly been the best decision I’ve ever made. I can now enjoy all the things I once loved. I can go on multi day hikes again, I can fly fish all day, I can go on RUNS!!!! I never thought I’d be the kind of person to go out for a run!

Their are problems with going the bariatric route though. I feel weak most of the time, I have TONS of extra skin since I lost so much so quickly, and a lot of people look down on me once they realize I lost weight through surgery. With that said, the pros outweigh the cons ten fold. If any of you are considering bariatric surgery, I’d say go for it. It changed my life

Thanks for giving me a place to vent some of my feelings guys. I don’t have many people to talk to about this kind of stuff!

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Another Day 1 post, but also some venting and history

Full disclosure, I've been lurking in /r/loseit for years. Literally years at this point I've been thinking about making a change. Well today I'm finally doing it, and these are the reasons why.

I'll just get right to it. I have been fat my entire life. And I don't mean just kinda fat, I mean really fat. When I was a baby my mom was depressed and on anti-depressants that made her...evened out emotionally. I call it her zombie days. I wouldn't breast feed, I didn't bond to her very well and to this day I don't really like being touched. Whenever I would cry, she would feed me. I was given a binge/emotional eating disorder before I could ever choose for myself what to eat.

As I grew up this lead to sneaking food from the pantry and fridge, eating whatever I could to calm down when I was emotional, or frankly just eating because I felt like it. It didn't really matter, I would just eat. I was the fat kid by a lot at ever school I ever went to. And I have spent every day of my life wishing that I was normal.

Well now, I'm almost 30. I'll be 30 on Saturday and I weigh a whopping 370 pounds as of this morning. I am only 5'3, so you can imagine this is terrible for me. For most of my 20s I hovered around 320-330. I was still pretty sedentary but I worked in a city so I walked daily to and from the bus stops, through transfer stations etc. For 320 pounds I was pretty active. There was even a period a few years ago where I lost about 30 pounds in 6 weeks through CICO, working out 3-4 times a week for about 30 minutes each (cardio mostly, a tiny bit of lifting) and eating a lower carb diet. I wasn't exactly on keto, I just knew if I was avoiding carbs I wouldn't be so tempted to eat all the burgers and fries (my true weaknesses).

This is already getting kind of long so I'll try to speed through this next part. Since my hatred of myself due to my weight/looks has always been so huge (heh punny!) I took to catfishing online to feel any kind of love. I'm not at all proud of it, in fact more ashamed than you could imagine. Being in love is amazingly addicted and for someone love starved even from family, it was the most addicting feeling I have experienced. The last person I catfished decided to stay with me for some reason after finding out the truth. But when we video chatted for the first time, of course I was way bigger than he thought I would be. I knew it would be the case but I just wanted to believe what he said that it really wouldn't matter. Because who doesn't want to be loved for who they are inside instead of hated because of what they look like outside? He was honest with me though that things changed for him because I was too big. I don't know what will happen there. We're still "together" but all the stuff he was planning to do with me is on hold I guess until I reach a more suitable weight I guess.

That's really neither here nor there, though. There are so many things I want to do just for myself. Things I've always wanted to do. Hiking, camping, travel, exploring new cities! These are all things I can't weight almost 400 pounds to do, and those aren't contingent on whether or not my boyfriend stays with me. So, today is my day 1. I'm going to do exactly what I did before, work out, keep under a reasonable calorie limit for healthy weight loss, and finally start living my life. Because I just can't be this person any more. I want to know who I am without this meat shield around me keeping everyone away. It's gotta be better than this right?

Thank you for reading if you made it this far. I mostly needed to just get the truth out there for once. I've spent my whole life hiding from everything and everyone, including myself. It's time to let it go!

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