Committing to intentional weight loss after HAES

Hello!

I’ve browsed this community for a long time, just now joined and really feel like sharing to solidify what I’m doing - if I share it, I’ll have to keep doing it!

I’ve been overweight/obese for probably the last 6 years, steadily climbing higher. I struggled with some mildly disordered eating in the past, then got into a relationship that turned into marriage, and found HAES along the way. I thought it was the answer and I really clung to it for a long time. In the end, all that happened was that my spouse and I are both overweight and I’m now prediabetic. I thought HAES was healing me, but really I just began using food in a different disordered kind of way - primarily to quiet my anxiety.

I debated on and off if I should leave the HAES community and abandon the mindset. I tipped over the edge back to intentional weigh less once my spouse joined Noom secretly. I tried intermittently when using the Noom app and decided to abandon it and jump back onto MyFitnessPal and CICO. I’m now down about 13lbs from my highest weight around 285, and my next goal is to see 269 or below. I don’t know how much weight I’d like to lose, but I do know I’m not happy or healthy at this size, and I’m starting to experience significant limitations because of it. I’m so thankful to have my spouse joining me on this journey too.

Overall, I’m just relieved I took a step back from HAES but I’m sad it took me a 100+lb weight gain to get there. I don’t wish them ill, and I think there can be grains of truth in their philosophy, but I also believe it is deeply flawed.

So, please share your best tips, resources, and encouragement for me and my S.O.! I’m feeling a little down over a cheat meal tonight, but I am trying to remember it’s a marathon 😉. If you have any wisdom about breaking the habit of using food for comfort I’d love to hear it because that’s my biggest hurdle!

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Down 31 pounds this year and I've learned so much about my body and my relationship with food. Here's some things that's been on my mind that I hope helps others :)

1. I don't need or want to partake in fad diets because food isn't "bad" or "good". It's just food. This one is a big one and directly contributes to my success. I found that if I limit myself to the things that I can or can't have, I not only am teaching myself poor eating habits but I am also far more likely to binge on the things I miss when I do put them back in my diet. I eat food now to gain, lose, or maintain the weight I want with zero restrictions outside of whatever my weekly caloric goal is. I work full time, go to school full time, and raise my children. Worrying about if I'll have access to the food I'm "allowed" for my diet, or making sure to meal prep with ingredients I never seem to have is not something I have time for. Also there's nothing more embarrassing for me then telling a host/friend/ family member that I can't eat something specifically against my diet. Now I just eat less if I know it's extremely calorie dense (looking at you pizza). The folks over at r/CICO have been instrumental in assisting me with this journey so thank you guys!

2. Cheat days taught me to treat food as a reward for not eating it and nothing more. I identified that using food as a means to reward myself made food far too important to me. Now I no longer have cheat days. I always eat what I want and adjust accordingly. If I know I'll be going to a birthday party and will be having beers or calorie dense foods like pizza, I make sure to not eat up all my calories that morning. It's much better to say "I'll skip the donut/bagel and just do coffee and a light lunch".

3. I HAD to change my mindset about food. Dieting isn't about shedding the weight and popping back to your old lifestyle. For some reason I subconsciously thought that all would be fine after I lost the weight. WRONG. Yo yo dieting galore. Couldn't get under 200lbs to save my life. The one time I did I maintained for under a week at 199. Now I understand the importance of "eating things in moderation". I now know that expecting to go back to my lifestyle of eating and drinking everything without thought is long gone if I want to be at my ideal weight. I knew this time I had to change my mindset about food and not jump into #1 on this list. I had to remind myself that just because someone was super successful with their weight loss by only eating my favorite things (bacon and butter) doesn't mean I had to do it as well to see the same success.

4. I realized It's okay to take a break from dieting. Nobody said you had to maintain a caloric deficit (which is really the foundation of all weight loss) all the way until your goal weight is achieved. I've taken multiple breaks where I've increased my caloric intake to maintenance level because I knew that week was a couple of fun events, or more recently big "eating" holidays. I remind myself that this is a lifestyle change and not just a diet. I'll be easily back over 200 again if I think I can't handle coming off it for a week or two, not to mention never being able to maintain my ideal body weight. I'm happy to say that I really enjoyed Thanksgiving and didn't say no to a single dish or drink that day:)

5. I didn't need to have a $50 gym membership I never had or wanted to make time for to reach the goal weight I wanted to be. Now I'm not saying there is no reason to workout...no no no. I'm saying that my particular weight loss journey is not about setting goals for flexibility or strength. It's about hitting that specific number on the scale (175btw!:)). For a long time I convinced myself that I could never be the weight I wanted to be because there's no way I'd find myself working out 3-4 days a week, all while meal prepping foods found only in cavemen days (sorry that was the fad diet flavor of the week when I thought about the gym and failed meeting my weight loss goal shortly after joining). I realized that there were plenty of lean people at the weight I wanted who hadn't worked out in years! I now realize how silly I was to think the only lean/thin people were ones who worked out. Pro Tip: On the flipside...You will lose weight more quickly and/or may increase the amount of food you get to eat if you do choose to workout alongside the added health benefits!

6. Similar to number 5 I learned to not do too much at once. Every pound I lost was me making a single better decision than the alternative. Someone in another sub I can't remember said it perfectly when they said you gotta take the "ands" out of your food choices. Enjoy a beast of a burger! Just not a burger, AND a fry, AND a shake. Have yourself some delicious pasta! Just not pasta AND some garlic bread AND that wonderful cheesecake. It's absolutely okay to take things a little slower.

7. The final and most important lesson I've learned (I have more but this is already too long sorry) is to do it for me and nobody else. This time I didn't start my diet with a friend for "moral support". This time I didn't make a loud announcement regarding my diet plan (you should see the people you work with everyday try to figure out what the heck is different about you and that moment it hits them haha) to all of my friends and family to "hold myself accountable". This time I didn't go in with the plan that all I have to endure is "drinking two meal replacement shakes, eating a low carb dinner, and making sure I took all of my weight loss supplements within a specific time frame each and everyday" to achieve my goal. And this time (the one good AND mind you;)) I didn't wait for some trivial date just because this month "has too much going on", or " it's the holiday season"....because guess what!? I know that every month has something going on. I'm a parent! I'm a student! I'm a staff member! I'm not here to meet my goal weight and return to my starting point. These things will be here year after year and I will continue to remind myself that life and the growing pangs associated with change will always, always, ALWAYS! be difficult, and that tomorrow is never guaranteed. But hey... when tomorrow does come...I'll be at least a little more comfortable in my skin;) Thanks for reading!

Tl;dr- It's not about saying yes or no to "good food" or "bad food". It's about changing your entire mindset. It's about remembering why you're doing what you're doing, and asking yourself what you will do differently than last time after your goal is reached.

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Figuring out how to kick the crash diets. Down 60lbs and taking my time doing it to make it last.

• I’ve done yo-yo diets my whole life

• I’ve done swings of 80 pounds before

• I’ve now been doing intermittent fasting for 32 weeks and I feel strong with my commitment and here’s what I’m doing:

• Now that I’m older and tired of the yo-yo I understand that long-term weight loss is not about following strict guidelines but legitimately building habits

• I got to 265lbs by years of building bad habits

• So what the 32 weeks have looked like for me is for the first three weeks I did nothing but fast 16:8

• I did not change my diet I did not track calories I did not do any crazy workouts

• Focused on building the one habit of fasting

• After three weeks I started Tracking my calories. With my fitness pal My username is IFwithRyan If you send me a request on there you can see what I eat every day

• At the three week mark I also started some light exercise mostly weightlifting. Three days a week

• Another reason I hadn’t changed my diet is it’s just too much takes too much will power

• And at about the six-week mark after I had been tracking calories consistently for three weeks, I started to try to hit a calorie target so I would know that I was in a deficit every day

• And I would say for probably about the last 23 weeks I’ve just been doing the same thing:

1) workouts 2 to 3 days a week

2) trying to hit about 2400 cal a day.

3) I’m not following any specific diet

• I still have fast food once a week sometimes twice a week

• But the biggest thing is…. I don’t feel mentally drained

• If I feel strong and want to add another healthy habit I can do that

• I would say in the last-few months I’ve easily had 20 days where I was eating more than 4000 cal a day

• But there are also days where after a cheat day in order to balance it out I’ll do like a 20 to 23 hour fast and only eat 12 to 1500 cal to balance it out for the week. And that keeps me mentally strong

• I don’t feel deprived

• So I would say if you’re just starting intermittent fasting do nothing else for the next three weeks but fast for 16 hours a day eat what you want when your time is up. Once you have a habit of fasting and it’s like second nature then start tracking your calories

• You will eventually have to track calories to lose weight but don’t try to do it all today

• And once you start tracking calories eat the same but track, so you know where you’re at

• Then start making adjustments. It’s going to take longer but if I were to tell you you can lose a half a pound to a pound a week for the next year and a half but then you’ll maintain that weight for the rest of your life, versus going crazy and losing 75 pounds in three months but then two years from now being right back where you are which would you do?

• Weight loss is much more about habit building than it is knowing the perfect way to do it

• Don’t get overwhelmed by taking on too much... will power is a limited resource

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My one month term of service has started, thankfully space command has prepared all the food I'll need.

Hey everyone, I'm TastyCinnaRoll and I am addicted to food. I'm not at a healthy weight or body fat percentage and I've struggled to get it under control for years.

So here's the deal. I've prepared (most) of the food I'll need to eat for the next 31 days ahead of time and it's all neatly packed into my freezer and cupboards. Serving sizes measured out, ready to pop open or throw in the microwave.

I was inspired by several posts I came across where people were talking about treating the quarantine like a space mission, like they were Mark Watney living in a little outpost on Mars. It inspired me to think about my food consumption the same way.

So, with that being said. I am in charge of maintaning this outpost for the next 31 days. As the title says though, I've got everything I need to survive. Individually packaged and measured out food rations.

Here is the list:

4 x Minestrone & ciabbata buns 148 calories each, 592 total

4 x Vegetable soup & ciabbata buns 108 Calories each, 432 total

4 x Onion soup with cheese & ciabbata buns 178 Calories each, 712 total

4 x Almond chocolate trail mix 300 Calories each, 1200 total

5 x Dried fruit and nut mix 230 calories each, 1150 total

3 x Bean vindaloo with naan and quinoa 585 calories each, 1755 total

3 x Bean chicken masala with naan and quinoa 563 calories each, 1689 total

6 x Chicken korma with naan 631 calories each, 3786 total

9 x Beef with carrots and potatoes stew 354 calories each, 3186 total

4 x BBQ sauce chicken breasts with creamy chive pasta 652 calories each, 2608 total

8 x Mushroom onion pasta casserole 394 calories each, 4728 total

10 x Hearty vegetable stew 454 calories each, 4536 total

12 x chocolate covered peanuts 320 Calories each, 3840 total

11 x In shell roasted peanuts 300 Calories each, 3300 total

62 x morning coffee & evening tea (not pre assembled) 134 calories each, 8308 total

10 x Shakshuka (fresh egg added when cooking) 259 calories each, 2590 Cal's total

8 x Cinnamon rolls 335 calories each, 2680 total

For the mission, space command would also like me to run at a calorie defecit. So they've limited my intake to 1750 calories per day. Though it's up to me how I consume them and when. I've come up with a distribution where some days I have fewer and some I have more.

The eagle eyed among you will have noticed that this doesn't add up. I'm still 8182 calories short for the month. That's because I messed up and also because my freezer is full. Looks like I'm going to need to arrange a supply drop near the end of the mission.

So here are my base stats:

Age: 32

Sex: Male

Level of activity: Medium

Height: 6'/ 183cm

Weight:198 pounds / 89.9kg

Neck Measurement: 16.9" / 43cm

Waist Measurement: 39.96" / 101.5cm

Body Fat Percentage: 23.7%

Calculated here

Maintenance Calories Per Day: 2766

1kg/week weight loss Calories Per Day: 1766 ( Rounding down to 1750 to makes calculations easier)

My goal:

Is to go through the month eating nothing but what I've pre-prepared. With the exception of the 8182 calories that will likely come from further meal prep when my freezer starts emptying out.

If the 1kg a week weight loss amount holds true, I should be down to roughly 85.9kg by the end of it. Though the weight loss is secondary, the most important thing I want to do over this month is reset my cravings and my relationship with food. To better get used to portioning things correctly for myself, and to resist the urge to binge. By the end of it, I want to be prepared to keep going until I'm at my desired weight and then maintain that weight through healthy lifestyle choices and a better relationship with food.

I'm going to include before pictures here. I'm hoping the comparison with the after will make me happy.

Also, I'm posting here because I feel like it's really going to help keep me focused and in line. This is the grand gesture, the extra little push to remind me to be good. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for taking the time to check this out, expect updates!

Here is all of my food laid out

Here are my before pictures

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When should I start to lose weight slower?

Hi, Kodek here (not enough people introduce themselves on reddit) so my question is kinda weird heres my info OW: 255 lbs CW: 217 lbs GW: 170 lbs current BMI: 32.0

So im STILL on the obese section but in a month or so im likely to go down to simply overweight so when should I start to change things up for my slower weight loss, currently I lost 13, 16 and now my 3rd month 9 lbs i can already see my weight loss slowing down which is because of my weight getting lower = harder to lose it

So at WHAT weight should I go into the 2lbs a week rule? I'd assume it would be once I left the 200's and the overweight bmi category right?

I do know that BMI isn't as important as body fat percentage but currently I can ONLY really base myself of my bmi cause of quarantine, hopefully someone has asked this to their doctor cause I surely forgot to.

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Sometimes you need to remind your body you're not actually starving

27F 5'4" SW 218 CW 172 GW: 170, then 160, then who knows.

I was at a 3-week plateau before Thanksgiving. I was so hungry and grumpy and frustrated-- at my height and weight, I was eating 1310 per day (I'm in grad school and it's finals season, so exercise isn't really happening). For Thanksgiving I thought aw, fuck it, I don't want to think too hard about it. I'll just eat what I want and worry about it next week.

The day after Thanksgiving I had an extra 4lbs. The day after that was my lowest weight to date, and I realized that I wasn't either hungry or grumpy, and that I hadn't been since the holiday. Looking back on it, I think my body needed the extra food to remember that it's not actually starving. Sustained deficits for a long period of time can really stress a body out and convince it that it needs to keep as much fat as possible.

This is the value of maintenance days. In my case, it's going to be a maintenance month-- I'm burned out on weight loss right now and stressed out with school. Dieting through finals, especially at such a low number, was making me unhappy and hurting other parts of my life. So, for right now, the plan is to maintain through the end of the year, and pick it back up in January.

I am so excited to be excited about weight loss again. To not be burnt out, but be energetic and driven. It is okay to take a break and maintain for a while. For me, right now, I think it's exactly what I need.

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361 to 302: Weight slowed down but still steady - 59.7% to 100 pound loss

During April, March, may, June, July, and august I steadily lost about 8 pounds a month. September went to 6 and October and November have been like 2-4 pounds. It’s demoralizing.

But there are a few high points: trendweight produces the graph of my weight loss trend. On a day to day basis it goes up and down. But over the multi month long term the graph goes down. Moreover I’ve tracked every calorie since April and I eat better food, more vegetables, and fewer calories by a significant number. I’ve also maintained a significant exercise habit.

This group has assisted me in innumerable ways. I come here to reassure myself — just keep putting one foot after another. Focus more on food than exercise all else being equal. My next challenge is doing some tucking (walking with a weighted backpack basically).

I hoped to lose 100 pounds in 12 months. I’ve lost ~55 pounds in 8 months. I need to lose another 45 pounds in four months—which would be about 11.25 pounds per month. Alternatively I may just extend the timeline a few months.

(And once I get to 260 then I’ll set a different goal, but probably more focused on body fat than weight — I’d love to get to like 185-195 with like 10-15 % body fat but that seems like a wild dream in this moment though (which is why I thought I’d start at the 100 pound loss).

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