What's working for me, Casino psychology.

So a lot of apps employ the same psychology that casinos do. If you ever played mobile games I'm sure you've come across the games that give you a badge for hitting level 25! Good job, 5 more levels and you get a gold star! A lot of these apps are designed with fake achievements that give a small release of dopamine and it makes you feel good.

Now I personally have an addictive personality, and I have always had massive problems playing videogames for way too much time. I'm kind of lazy, and I started my weight loss journey (well restarted... For like the 5th time) at 345lbs (6'0) It's actually the biggest I've ever been. But I started thinking, taking inspiration from podcasts like JRE and other places, what if I used my biggest flaws to my advantage. Specifically my addiction to technology.

I've downloaded 2 apps that I love, and I'm open to reccomendations for other similar apps if you guys have any you'd like to reccomend. I have "Pedometer Step Counter," "Myfitnesspal" and "Pokemon go" now on my phone. See now I'm "addicted" to hitting 10,000 daily steps for step counter. I like keeping my daily calorie intake somewhere between 1200-2000 calories. And pokemon go rewards me every monday if I walk 50km in 1 week. And it's worked! In two months time I'm down to 309! That's ~36 lbs lost and all I've done is count calories and walked.

Here's the thing, if I didn't have these apps to log everything everyday I wouldn't be able to hold myself accountable. Now essentially my addiction to the apps holds me accountable. I'm walking between 10k-12k steps a day (previously I doubt I had many days over 4000) and I'm looking at the achievements like "Hiker badge" on the step counter app, 20k steps in 1 day. That is now a goal of mine for this weekend, I'm gonna hit 20k. I just got rewarded with a 13 day in a row badge (not sure why it was 13 and not 14) and much like snapchat snapstreaks I'm addicted to keeping this going so I don't break my streak.

I'm intending on, once I get a bit lower, adding another app, or maybe just creating an excel spreadsheet with my own goals and achieving them, but something for weight lifting. I am getting a used squat rack and bench press for my basement. I got to get a 45lb bar still but once I do I'll find some way to get myself addicted to getting streaks or maybe setting strength goals etc. But like I said, I'm gonna wait until I get to a bit of a healthier weight first.

I also plan on running a 5k by April next year, unfortunately, walking my daily 10k steps still makes my back a bit sore, and I definitely don't have the king capacity yet to get even close. But I have been able to jog 1 mile without stopping a few times since I've started this. Its time for me to find an app that requires me to either A run a mile every day or something like that to use to hold myself accountable with.

Thanks for reading if you got this far, and Please if you have some great apps you think I or others could be using like this drop them below!

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20 Healthy Recipes You Can Make for the Whole Family

Cooking up delicious, nourishing meals for your family is one of the best ways to keep everybody at home healthy and happy. It’s surprisingly easy to make dishes that every member of the family will enjoy while you stay on track to your weight loss goal. To inspire you, we’ve gathered 20 of our favorite healthy family recipes that are Nutrisystem-approved. They’re made with ingredients you can find in any grocery store and they don’t require hours in the kitchen to prepare. Some of them are sure to become new favorites for your family.

8 Healthy Living Tips for the Whole Family

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Here are 20 healthy recipes the whole family will enjoy:

1. Cauliflower Breakfast Hash Skillet >

Calories per Serving: 164

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel, 2 Extras and 1 Vegetable

A warm and hearty family breakfast is the perfect start to a busy day. However, it can be hard to find the time in the morning to cook for your family. When you are all home, you can treat everyone (and yourself) to a skillet full of savory flavors that features everybody’s favorites, bacon and eggs. We made ours with turkey bacon (no one will notice it’s lower in fat than the usual kind) and fragrant peppers and onions. The base is fiber-rich cauliflower rice—now found in the produce and frozen food sections at many supermarkets. It absorbs the rich flavors of the other ingredients and leaves you all feeling full for hours after breakfast time ends.

Bonus: You begin the day with one of your daily four servings of vegetables already done.

2. Three-Step Chicken Zucchini Nuggets >

Calories per Serving: 138

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel, ½ Vegetable and ½ Extra

The tempting aroma of fresh-from-the-oven chicken nuggets is sure to bring the whole family into the kitchen. With just six healthy ingredients and three easy steps, you can whip up a batch of these nuggets as a delicious meal idea or quick snack recipe your gang will love. The tasty little bites are crispy on the outside and, thanks to the grated zucchini, they stay tender and moist on the inside. You can make them on your stovetop or in the oven.

Bonus: You get to enjoy a serving of six, which has just 138 calories.

3. Bell Pepper Nachos >

Calories per Serving: 141

On Nutrisystem, Count As: ½ PowerFuel, 1 Extra and 1 Vegetable

Crunchy peppers, creamy cheese and zesty salsa come together to create this fresh take on classic nachos. Each colorful mini pepper is stuffed with avocado, salsa and beans, then topped with cheese. Pop this healthy nacho recipe in the oven for a few minutes to melt the cheese and you’ve got a bite-sized snack for the whole family. These nachos could even be an appetizer before making a low calorie Cinco de Mayo dinner! The kids won’t mind this serving of vegetables and its immune-boosting nutrients.

Bonus: Spice up these nachos with a dash of chili powder to pump up the flavor and boost your metabolism. Learn more about the benefits of spicy food. >

17 Excellent Family-Friendly Meals Every Dieter Will Love

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4. Creamy Clam Chowder >

Calories per Serving: 240

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel, 1 SmartCarb, 1 Extra and 1 Vegetable

Even when you’re not at the beach, you can bring a little bit of the seashore to your table when you make a batch of this homemade clam chowder. Look near the canned tuna in your supermarket to find minced clams that will give your soup that authentic flavor. For even fewer calories and fat, you can make the soup with unsweetened almond, soy or coconut milk instead of the usual dairy milk.

Bonus: Double up on the recipe and freeze half of the soup to enjoy on a day when you don’t have time to cook.

5. Sweet and Sour Chicken >

Calories per Serving: 440

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, 2 PowerFuels, 3 Extras and 1 Vegetable

No need to call for takeout to enjoy this popular Asian-style dish. Make some homemade sweet and sour chicken with tender chunks of lean chicken breast, sweet bell peppers and a tangy sauce that’s simple to whip up. We kept all of the flavor you love but cut out all the excess calories and fats. That way your family will ask for more and you’ll stay on track with your Nutrisystem weight loss plan.

Bonus: Serve this dish over brown instead of white rice for a healthy dose of belly-filling fiber.

6. Five-Ingredient Buffalo Cauliflower Breadsticks >

Calories per Serving: 116

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel and 1 Vegetable

Once your family tries this savory cauliflower breadsticks recipe, they’ll ask for it again and again. The base is a perfectly chewy foundation for gooey melted cheese and zesty buffalo sauce. Only you need to know the dish starts with fiber-full cauliflower rice, which you can make yourself or find in the produce or frozen food sections of many grocery stores. The preparation takes a few minutes and these cauliflower breadsticks come out of the oven warm and fragrant in less than 30 minutes.

Bonus: For a different flavor, season these breadsticks with olive oil, garlic and oregano instead of the buffalo sauce and cheese.

5 Ways Family Meals Help Your Children

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7. Air Fryer Honey Mustard Bites >

Calories per Serving: 144

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel and 2 Extras

An air fryer is a powerful tool for cooking homemade dishes that everyone will be happy to dig into. For instance, you can use it to make these crispy chicken bites paired with the sweet and tangy flavors of honey mustard. The air fryer cooks them quickly and easily but doesn’t load you up with the extra calories and fats you get from deep-fried foods. Each batch makes six delicious servings.

Bonus: With the air fryer, there’s no messy oil to splatter in your kitchen.

8. Eggplant Margherita Pizza >

Calories per Serving: 120

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel and 1 Vegetable

Yes, you can enjoy family pizza night and stay on track to your weight loss goal. With this healthy pizza recipe, firm slices of eggplant are the substitute for the carb-heavy dough. They’re topped with zesty marinara sauce and melted cheese and come bubbling out of the oven with just 120 calories per serving. Best of all, you get four (yes four!) slices per serving of this pizza.

Bonus: Eggplant is rich in polyphenols, phytochemicals that can help reduce your risk of diabetes, according to the International Journal of Molecular Sciences.

9. Buffalo Blue Cauliflower Mac and Cheese >

Calories per Serving: 169

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel, 1 Vegetable and 2 Extras

Vegetables can be a hard sell at many dinner tables. However, we all need the immune-boosting vitamins that you can only get from foods like cauliflower. So, here’s the plan: heat cauliflower florets until they’re as tender as cooked macaroni, then mix them in a cheesy sauce spiked with that spicy Buffalo wing flavor. Wait for the vegetable-haters to ask for seconds.

Bonus: You can use fresh or frozen cauliflower to reduce the carbohydrates in many family recipes.

16 Tasty Soup Recipes the Whole Family Will Love

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10. Zoodle Mac and Cheese with Roasted Veggies >

Calories per Serving: 156

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel, 1 Extra and 1 Vegetable

Zoodles are spiralized zucchini and they’re as much fun to slurp as your family’s favorite spaghetti. You can find zoodles in the produce or frozen foods sections at many supermarkets, or you can make them yourself with a simple tool known as a spiralizer. In this recipe, we tossed zucchini noodles or “zoodles” with melted cheese and sweet and savory vegetables like onions, broccoli and peppers to make a filling dish for hungry families.

Bonus: Make your family recipes even more colorful with noodles made from spiralized carrots or beets.

11. Roasted Chicken with Rainbow Carrots and Potatoes >

Calories per Serving: 253

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, 1 PowerFuel, 2 Extras and ½ Vegetable

Is there any place cozier than a home filled with the aroma of chicken slowly roasting in the oven? Maybe that’s because everybody loves tender, juicy chicken, whether it’s the drumsticks and wings or the lean breast meat (AKA the healthiest choice for you). Add carrots and potatoes and you’ve got a meal that will satisfy the hungriest of appetites while leaving plenty of delicious soup options for leftovers!

Bonus: Prepping the whole meal takes minutes, then you get to relax while it all cooks at once.

12. Instant Pot Smoked Brisket >

Calories per Serving: 139

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel and 1 Extra

Brisket is the meat lovers’ choice because it is so flavorful and tender. Plus, it’s loaded with protein, so everyone leaves the table feeling well-fed. A conventional version takes just about all day to cook. But with a handy instant pot and this epic dinner recipe, you get the deep, smoky flavor that meat lovers want in just over an hour. When buying the meat, ask for the leanest option available to keep the saturated fat to a minimum.

Bonus: Leftover brisket is delicious on sandwiches, salads and other family recipes.

8 Chicken and Rice Recipes the Whole Family Will Love

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13. Sweet and Savory Spaghetti Squash Bowl >

Calories per Serving: 288

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, 1 PowerFuel, 3 Extras and 1 Vegetable

When everyone is craving a big, filling bowl of spaghetti, cook up the squash that looks like pasta but comes with less than 25 percent of the calories and carbs you get from conventional noodles, says the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA). The squash blends in with any flavors you add to it, whether it’s classic tomato sauce or this version served with melt-in-your mouth roasted sweet potato chunks and creamy goat cheese.

Bonus: Make extra spaghetti squash and freeze it for the next time spaghetti is on the dinner menu.

14. Sweet Potato Hash Power Bowl >

Calories per Serving: 242

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, 1 PowerFuel, ½ Vegetable and 2 Extras

Potato hash makes a filling breakfast to start your day. We took it up a notch by starting with super-nutritious sweet potatoes, along with savory peppers and onions. For a topping, add slices of creamy avocado and an egg made any way you’d like—poached, scrambled or sunny-side up. Season to your family’s taste with chili powder and gather the gang for a sit-down breakfast in the morning.

Bonus: There are no rules against eating breakfast favorites at dinner time.

15. Chicken Lettuce Wraps >

Calories per Serving: 198

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel, 1 Extra and 1 Vegetable

If your family likes Asian flavors, they’ll wolf down this tasty chicken lettuce wraps recipe. Inside the crunchy lettuce leaves they’ll get bites full of tender chicken, crispy water chestnuts and spunky green onions, all bathed in a tangy dressing made with fresh garlic and ginger. The lean chicken breast keeps the calorie count low without skimping on the satisfaction.

Bonus: For those in the family who don’t care for lettuce wraps, just spoon the filling into any tortilla or wrap.

How To Get Your Family to Support Your New Lifestyle

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16. Three-Step Tuna Patties >

Calories per Serving: 125

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 PowerFuel and 1 Extra

Fresh seafood can be costly when you’re feeding the whole family. Consider using tuna packed in water, which can create these tasty tuna patties that are crispy on the outside, flaky on the inside and delicious from the first bite to the last. Just mix the tuna with zingy mustard, creamy mayonnaise, an egg, a few herbs and spices and breadcrumbs, then form it into patties. Sauté them for a few minutes and they’re ready to eat on a sandwich, salad or as a dinner entrée like a crab cake!

Bonus: You can make these with canned salmon instead of tuna, if that’s your family’s preference.

17. Avocado Tuna Melt Panini >

Calories per Serving: 344

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, 1 PowerFuel, 3 Extras and 1/2 a Vegetable

When your gang is wishing they could go out to the local bistro for a hot lunch, treat them to this grilled sandwich packed with flavorful tuna, melted cheese and juicy tomato. Instead of high-carb bread, use sandwich thins that get perfectly crispy on the griddle. Look for tuna that’s packed in water and low in sodium to avoid extra oil and salt.

Bonus: If you don’t have a panini maker, you can make this epic tuna melt on your stovetop or grill.

18. Broccoli and Cheese Breakfast Muffins >

Calories per Serving: 247

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, 1 PowerFuel and 1 Extra

Tired of the same old family recipes for breakfast? These cheese-laden muffins just might become a new go-to breakfast for your family. Made with high-fiber whole wheat flour, they are as filling as they are delicious. Using reduced fat cheese and fat-free milk keeps the calorie count down, so you get to eat two muffins per serving.

Bonus: Bake these muffins when you have the time and store them in the refrigerator (for up to a week) or in the freezer to heat up when you’re ready to eat them.

Easy One Pan Recipes for Busy Weeknights

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19. Cashew Cream Veggie Pasta >

Calories per Serving: 272

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 1 SmartCarb, 1 PowerFuel, 1 Vegetable and 1 Extra

Many families today include a vegan or two around the table (maybe it’s you), so you need good meal ideas that will please everyone. This pasta dish is made with cashew cream that’s easy to prepare and high in healthy fats from the nuts. Add a few herbs and spices, toss with whole wheat fettuccini, fresh cherry tomatoes and spinach, then get ready to listen to the sound of lips smacking.

Bonus: Add a PowerFuel such as chicken or shrimp for those that crave animal protein.

20. French Onion Stuffed Chicken >

Calories per Serving: 225

On Nutrisystem, Count As: 2 PowerFuels, 1 Vegetable and 1 Extra

Sophisticated family recipes don’t have to take hours to prepare or require expert chef skills. You can transform ordinary chicken breasts into an entrée with the robust flavor of French onion soup in less than 45 minutes. You probably even have the required ingredients in your kitchen! Just slice open chicken breasts, fill them with mozzarella cheese and onions, sear them quickly and bake until the chicken is done.

Bonus: Chicken breast is a family-favorite protein, making this a dish that everyone will enjoy.

21 Breakfast Recipes for a Flex-Approved Start to Your Day

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The post 20 Healthy Recipes You Can Make for the Whole Family appeared first on The Leaf.

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My therapist invalidated my weight loss, and it upset me more than I thought

(long post, sorry. TLDR at the bottom if you don't wanna read)

(P.s. mods I'm sorry if this doesn't go here I've never posted in this group idk where else this would go)

So quick background, I've lost about 75lbs and I'm aiming to lose about another 10lbs. I lost it through good old fashioned calorie counting and exercise—VERY healthily. It took me 2.5 years (lots of breaks and slip ups along the way lol). I walk my dog 30 minutes a day, I strength train 3x a week, I eat about 1700cals to lose, and I've also implemented maintenance breaks now that I'm getting close to the end.

Anyways, I started seeing this therapist about 4 months ago because decided after spending so long fixing my physical health, I really should stop ignoring my mental health. She's been really great and has helped me through a lot of stuff. That is, until my last session.

I had been really avoiding talking about my weight loss because I don't really trust people with that information. Almost everyone has some kind of agenda and will tell you that either you're doing it wrong or you're wrong for doing it. However, I had built up such a rapport with her that I felt comfortable to just bring it up casually. I can't even remember how it came up, but I just offhand was like "I've lost 75lbs" and she raises her eyebrows and goes "ok stop, let's talk about that". She spends the next 45 minutes talking about how counting calories is bad for me, that I'm ruining my metabolism, that I should be intuitive eating, that I could be obese/overweight and healthy. I try to explain to her that as an obese/overweight person I was severely depressed, anxious, always sick, and afraid of living my life, that now I feel so much better and that I really have a healthy relationship with exercise and food where I didn't before. She didn't really believe me, and the conversation ended with "I see your point of view, but I'm not going to validate this. You were good enough then and you're good enough now. We'll put a pin in this and you can come to me if ever you're ready".

I left the session feeling really angry at first that I had spent my time and money on someone lecturing me about something I didn't feel was a problem, but then I realized it was something more. I had been deeply hurt by someone that I trusted. As I said, I don't usually bring it up because the people in my life are not kind about it. When I told her, I thought I would finally have someone who would tell me they were proud of me for bettering my life, for facing a problem head on and fixing it. But instead I was met with even more negativity as disapproval.

My problem now is that I can't stop thinking about it. I can't help thinking that maybe she's somewhat right, and that maybe all these years of weight loss—all the days of saying no, working out when I wasn't in the mood, ignoring a grumbly stomach until mealtime—was for nothing, that I've wasted my time and should just go back to where I was before. I have been shovelling food into my mouth for two days to try and quell the emotional discomfort, but so far this hasn't worked. I fear I will continue trying.

So here's where I'll put the TLDR and get to the point:

TL;DR: My therapist treated me like I have an ED when I know I don't, pushed her HAES agenda on me, and now I'm really hurt by it wondering if all my weight loss is worthless, all the benefits are made up in my head, and whether it's worth it to keep going.

Has this happened to anybody else? Am I being dramatic? Where do I go from here? How do I stop feeling upset about this and start getting back to a place where I feel excited and motivated by my weight loss goals? SHOULD I even do that??? Ugh.

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Tracking my resting heart rate stops me from over-eating

I (28F) have always had a high resting heart rate, even when I've been eating well, working out daily, and at a healthy weight. Doctors would always ask if I was nervous (a joke that got old quick) but never really talked about it beyond that. I'm also an anxious creature with a bad coffee habit so I figured that didn't help things. When I went to my doctor in July for a well-check, my resting heart rate was at about 90. My doctor wasn't concerned and said so long as it stuck below 100, some people just have high resting heart rates and I shouldn't be worried. Since mine had been high my whole life and I didn't pay too much attention to it on my Fitbit, I just kind of took it in stride.

Then I started asking my friends with heart rate trackers what theirs were. The highest anyone told me was around 65 which I thought was crazy; in all my time having a fitness tracker (probably ~ 5 years) I had NEVER had a consistent resting heart rate that low. The lowest I ever reached was 69, and that was when I was able to hit the gym every day and be active at work. I decided to keep an eye on it just in case I noticed any patterns.

And I did. I have a problem with over-eating which was triggered by a recovery from anorexia in college. And again... anxious creature, with a coping mechanism of eating too much food. I noticed that when I over-ate, sometimes I would be sitting on the couch, completely still, and my resting heart rate would be at 104-105. It wasn't much higher than the doctor's "be worried" limit, but it scared me to death. I looked it up and sure enough; your heart has to work harder when you eat, and especially hard if you over-eat.

I'm still not at a healthy weight for my height (5'0, ~ 143lbs.) but I've stopped over-eating for the last week and my average resting heart rate has already gone from 80 to 74. It's an incredibly stressful time at work right now for me and I haven't been able to work out as much as I'd like but I'm coping in other ways and seeing my heart working less hard primarily because of my eating decisions has really improved my mental health.

I thought maybe this could be helpful for others. It's not often that I think about weight loss in terms of why I need to do it to keep my body healthy (which I know should be the main reason, but it never has been for me before), but now it's THE most important thing.

Edit: a word

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Take care of yourself, even if you're trying to lose weight

So I had been in a plateu-ish place in my very slow and steady weight loss of .75-1lb per week, and I was losing only .5lbs now, which I was happy with because even if it was slow, my life style changes were sustainable and I was happy with the muscle I was putting on;

However, I just had exam week, and it only took a few days to fall off the wagon of healthy living. I had become a little terrified of weight gain, as I was weighing myself 2 times a day now, and I knew that exam season is usually a time when people tend to overeat the stress away. I did the exact opposite. I wasnt even eating 1000 calories a day, I skipped 2 of my four small meals, i forced myself to do my 2hrs of walking everyday and to continue working out, studying, and getting barely any sleep. My bmi dropped to 21.3, I lost 8 pounds in 4 days, I did poorly on my exams, and my strength in the gym plummeted. It was miserable to not be able to bench anywhere near my working weight.

I realized that weight loss isnt just losing weight. I probably lost mostly muscle, and although the scale went down, so did my mood and strength. You have to find a balance that works for you. For me, that was half a pound a week. Even if it was slow, it helped me get disciplined to walk everyday and lift weights and eat healthy, and more importantly, to be happy with my way of living. Losing weight isnt reaching a certain number, but it's making yourself a better person physically and mentally. You have to be happy with your life. If you hate how hungry you are, how tired and sore you are from workouts you dont enjoy, then you need to reevaluate your journey. The hardest part of your journey shouldnt be the parts you are supposed to enjoy! If you go the distance everyday, then you will see results. Dont try and lose too much weight in little time because I am telling you it is miserable. I look worse after losing the 8lbs actually.

Just as you shouldn't eat to compensate for stress, dont under eat( in extremes, be at a healthy calorie deficit of 100-500cals) for the sake of reaching a specific number. You deserve to be healthy and happy, whether you are 400lbs or 90lbs. Dont punish yourself by skipping meals or forcing exercise to burn off all your calories. Workout hard to feel good, eat enough to fuel yourself. Dont do what I did :)

I am excited to have a break from school and eat healthy and train harder everyday!!! Enjoy your holiday guys!

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I've mastered mornings. Evenings are a whole other beast.

I have a lot of challenges with my eating habits. I am not obese, but do have 15-20 lbs to lose. I know that a big part of weight loss is breaking habits and creating new ones. OK, I'm on board. Mornings I have down, and actually look forward to them.

Wake up>>> Coffee!!>>> Banana>>> Run (3-10 miles)>>> Second coffee>>> My morning oatmeal (300cal)

This is my routine every morning, and it works. But as the day goes on, things get harder and harder. Cravings hit. Temptations linger. I'll usually eat dinner and be riiiiiight at my cal goal for the day, but then at some point after dinner sabotage the day by convincing myself I'm still hungry.

I don't know if anyone has advice, or if I'm just looking to vent- but it's hard to start each day to on point but then ruin it at the end of the day. I know the answer is 'don't give in to cravings at night, and learn new habits'. Damn- if only it was that easy to stop my brain from yelling at me "It's 7:30pm!! You won't sleep if you go to bed hungry! You need more food! There are chips in the pantry!!"

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327.6 to 189.4 in 2 years (-17 days) - ALL the lessons (Loooooong but hopefully helpful advice)

I started this at my heaviest ever, 327.6, in January of 2019. I mapped this out as a three year journey. Goal for the end of 2020 was 196lbs. I chose that number because a) under 200 b) no longer obese (am 5'8) c) it meant 0.5lb a week for 52 weeks in year 3 to hit my goal weight d) while it wasn’t a small amount of weight at 131.6 it seemed achievable when done over 104 weeks at just over 1.25 lbs per week.

So 199 was goal 1, followed by 196 as stretch goal, then 189.4 (see below) followed by 187.6 (-140bs) as the final probably not achievable but might as well have it as a goal anyway, goal.

I hit 189.4 today which means I am now (at age 45) at my lowest adult weight ever! While there are 17 days left to go in my year (I weigh in Sundays so Dec 27 is the last weigh in, I just really felt it this morning and decided on a rare mid-week weight check) I thought I would post this earlier than I had planned and share some lessons learned from my 3rd and, hopefully, final go around at this.

Lessons from failure #1 1999-2001 (269 to 189.5)

• Don’t let day to day life get away from you. This was the classic “100 extra calories a day on average over time” gotcha. It took 6 years to go back up to the low 240’s and 14 years to hit 294 (attempt #2). I wasn’t eating six chocolate bars a day or guzzling 17 beers at a time, I was just eating moderately poorly most of the time and that just gets you over time. Weigh in weekly FOREVER. “Our” natural eating regime is what got us into this in the first place, I’d accept that you just have to monitor this continually.

• Don’t think “I’m done” and stop doing what got you down in the first place. I hit 189.5 and was like HA HA DONE! And then proceeded to go on a million dates (with high calorie dinners), largely stopped going to the gym (I still played squash but always found a reason to bail on the pre or post-match workout, and didn’t go on days when I didn’t have a game planned) and otherwise threw all my good habits out the window. As per above, I didn’t regain it all in a week but month by month I packed on the pounds and undid all that brutal effort.

Lessons from failure #2 2014-2015 (294 to 237)

• Stress workout, don’t stress eat. Long story short my father went over a cliff (dementia, angry Alzheimer’s, pancreatic cancer) and 2015 was just a nightmare of stress and all that work went poof (it started just as I hit 230) as I grabbed every burrito and burger I could on the way home from the hospital. Some weight gain, sure, ALL the weight gain and then some? Should never have let that happen. It took four years to get the oomph back to restart and by then I was my heaviest ever.

• Don’t rely on others for motivation. I was in a weight loss group at the time (of friends) and they saw me eating terribly and nobody said one f’ing word. No “Gee, Alex, I know times are really stressful but maybe don’t eat a giant burrito and a bag of chips for dinner every night”. I think part of me (from my history with my shitty father) ended up trying to spite them for their lack of caring by eating shittier (dumb hunh?). If you allow others to fuel your motivation then what do you do if they let you down?

Lessons from success #1 2019-present (327.6 to 189.4)

• You have to want this for more than vague reasons. While I’d like to think that “not die of a heart attack at 50” is a great reason, it’s very hard to stay motivated and suffer today for the possibility of some future negative reality. How many people floss furiously two days before going to the dentist and then not again until two days before the next appointment? How many people make a Jan 1 vow to “lose weight” and stick to it? My rationale was this trip that I REALLY want to do that requires a level of fitness. That’s literally it. I want to see Mount Everest with my own eyes and do this 18 day hike in Nepal. I can’t tell you why that hit the right spot for me but it does. So, if you can, find a compelling reason to change your life and make it so compelling that it is always going to outweigh the instant gratification of eating junk or not working out.

• Start weight training right away. I frequently see (terrible) advice that you should get down to your goal before adding weight training. I see so many benefits it’s not funny. Not only does muscle burn calories at rest, it fills up loose skin, has made me more confident and I look WAY better at this weight than if I hadn’t done any resistance training.

• A huge amount of progress can be made with relatively low amounts of effort. I lost the first 52.8lbs averaging 2017 calories a day and doing less than 2 hours of exercise a week (over 26 weeks) while being sedentary otherwise. Nothing gets me madder than seeing “I eat 1200 calories a day as a 6ft 25 year old dude” posts. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF to get most of the way there. Sure, if you want 10% body fat and to be shredded then you have to live at the gym but you can get 60-70% to your goal running a reasonable deficit and doing some exercise.

• Make this a priority. Unless you died, are getting married or are having a baby, don’t call me on gym night. I am happy to re-arrange gym nights to make room for fun but the gym is going to happen four days of a week (pre-covid) so I am going to choose the gym over other stuff. Put yourself first.

• See this as a process not an end goal. You know what changed for me today? Nothing. A cute woman didn’t knock on my door to flirt. An amazing career opportunity wasn’t waiting for me when I checked email. I weighed in, went yay, and am moving on with my day. Know what happens when people win gold medals? They often get SUPER depressed. They have worked so hard to get it and now the goal is achieved and they have no idea what to do with themselves. The goal is not to hit X weight, it’s to live a fulfilling life and that’s a lifelong process. Don’t make hitting X weight the be all and end all because then you hit it and all that energy disappears. Maintaining X is never going to be as sexy as “losing” is.

• Or have the next goal queued up! Goal is 170 by end of 2021. Next goal after that Is Everest base camp hike end of 2022, then Kilimanjaro 2023 then something else. Keep that carrot out there. If I can keep a goal that intrigues me and requires fitness then I can stay engaged and keep going.

• Related: I think people have this lottery like feeling for weight loss. One day you are poor the next you win and you are filthy rich. It’s taken 713 days to go from day 1 to today. 713. So, when you hit your goal it’s important to know that if you feel underwhelmed by your own response that’s natural. You aren’t going to jump around and go crazy because when you started the goal was to lose say 100lbs but achieving your goal actually just means losing slightly more than last week, if that makes sense.

• Do the work once. I keep a “calories per gram” bible on top of my microwave. It has pretty much everything I regularly eat in terms of its calories per gram. For every recipe or dish, do the work to create the calories and then you never have to do that work again. Whether you do it on MFP or some other website or manually (like me), future you will thank you for doing the math and writing it down. Anything you can do to make this easier on yourself is going to be a good call long term.

• Willpower is limited. I always say it this way. It’s not getting through 24 hours that’s the problem. Dieting is a breeze 23:45 a day. It’s those 15 minutes worth of moments over the course of the day that get you. I can eat 600 calories of twizzlers in 4 minutes and poof a great day goes to mediocre, 600 more and it’s a bad day. So, where possible, put yourself in a position not to have to need to use any willpower. Pre-plan meals, cut up your veggies the night before, don’t have junk in the house etc..etc… make your life as easy as possible to stick to good habits.

• In the same vein, use your time wisely. Know what I am doing when veggies are roasting for dinner? Doing any advance prep I can for the next night’s dinner. When I make burgers (from scratch, obvs this would not make sense with burgers that you are buying pre made) I make like 6-8 and freeze them so I have an easy dinner for when I don’t want to cook. One of the big problems with losing weight is that it absolutely adds work to your day and if you arrive home at 6pm and have to cut up butternut squash and do this and do that then you are more likely to grab crap on the way home. I am always thinking about tomorrow and using whatever dead time I have while cooking to do advance work for the next day.

• Put it on the schedule. Exercise is not something I love every day but it is on the schedule so I (mostly) do it. If I am feeling really ragged then sure I will take a day off but it’s far easier to just do it because it’s a thing you do as part of the schedule than trying to be motivated every single day.

• Build up to it. We are heading into Jan which is the land of “I am going to lose all the weight by TOMORROW” when people go hog wild and come up with insane plans that are doomed to fail. You are simply not going to do 7 hours of cardio in your first week. Set realistic goals and increase the exercise load slowly. The point is not to have you set a goal that you can only fulfill on a day when you are crazy motivated but a goal you can gut through on a day when you aren’t. The largest amount of cardio I’ve ever done in a week is six hours on the bike. It took like 90 weeks to get to that level. My first week I did three 15 minute sessions on the treadmill at 3mph.

• Map this out. My goal for the end of this year was based on 2lb per week for 6 months, then 1.5, 1 and 0.5. Which is 130lbs in two years and then 0.5 for all of year three to get me to 156 (actual goal 157.6)…that’s fully HALF of three years at a 0.5lb per week average. What that does is a) give me some breathing room calorie wise b) means that on day 1 I knew this would going to be a looooong slog but it also set short/medium and long term goals that put me in a realistic mindset. This is not going to be solved tomorrow and you are way more likely to stick with it if you map it out as a realistic project. And if you are ahead of plan then bonus.

• Be kind (but fair) to yourself. If you had a shitty day then buck up and don’t make it worse but negative self talk doesn’t do you any good. You are not a piece of garbage for having a bad day or even outright failing, this is crazy hard. BUT don’t give yourself outs. “I had a bad day” is not a reason to eat garbage. “But I am lazy” is not a good reason not to make a healthy dinner. The habits do not develop overnight and you have to work at it.

• Limiting apocalyptic days is more important, imho, than anything else. In two years I’ve had EIGHT days over 3000 calories. That’s 1 every 98.5 days (and that’s two birthdays, two Christmases, one NYE, two thanksgivings and one random crap day) The math is simple...6 1700 calorie days and 1 5000 calorie day is worse than 7 2000 calorie days. I am a firm believer that this is best accomplished not with feast/famine but with a regular moderate deficit, plus training your body that 2000 calories (or whatever for you) is normal is better than starve starve starve EAT EVERYTHING starve starve starve.

• Understand who your allies are (and who they aren’t). Lots of people end up surprised that their friends or family aren’t supportive. People don’t like change and you changing threatens the status quo. Do not let people sabotage or guilt you. Anyone who demands you eat the apple pie they cooked is not on your side. Be strong.

• Understand that most people, frankly, don’t care about your journey. So many people want affirmation and cheers and I understand that, but your getting married, buying a house, going on a trip etc… is a you thing. If you let yourself be governed by what others say or don’t say then you are giving away all your power. If somebody says you look great then yay, but don’t expect people to be invested in your trying to lose weight.

• Don’t only think about the end goal. There is a looooot of weight between 170 and 327.6. Even hitting 250 would be of huge benefit. If I stopped at say 225 I’d still be overweight but at a 38 waist I could shop in every store, I could fit XL’s etc…etc…. the point is don’t just focus on the end goal, focus on the progress along the way and it will make you happier.

• So many people worry about like loose skin before they have even lost a pound. That’s the equivalent about stressing about what Ferrari to buy when you win the lottery. You have to focus on today so stop worrying about hypotheticals a year from now. You can always stop losing weight or regain it if you really want to. Stop giving yourself reasons not to do this!

• Think about what works for you. Personally, I love data, I track everything I have goals mapped out, I have gamified the entire process. But you are different, so come up with things that work for you. There are lots of ways for different approaches to all hit the same result.

• Give it a chance. I can’t say I love calorie counting but, at this point, it’s just a thing I do. I don’t know that I even think about it much. I know the calories per gram of most of the meats and veggies I eat by heart. It’s not going to become a habit overnight and so give an approach an adequate amount of time. You may find that once you’ve gotten it down (whatever that is) that it isn’t as onerous as it first seemed. Maybe 30 min of cardio while listening to podcasts will become the best part of your day.

• Don’t let slow progress get you down and/or expect certain results for a weigh in. Weight loss is weird. Some weeks you are going to eat well and exercise and lose nothing. Others you are going to eat mediocre and lose 3lbs. Over time eating poorly is not going to result in weight loss, obvs, but on an individual week the results are not going to be 1:1 what you expect. Try to emotionally distance yourself from the scale. And that’s hard, at every major goal point I get really angry when I have a good week and can’t crack it. But that anger doesn’t do anyone any good. So, instead, reflect on how far you’ve come and give it another week (or two). You will get there!

• Find a food regime that is going to work long term. Anyone can go a week (if necessary) on an all Twinkie diet of 1500 calories a day. The key to this is to create food habits that work long term. I have discovered that roasted butternut squash, green beans and broccoli are great. I have 25 different spice rubs for fish and chicken in my pantry. I am never not going to love a pub burger, fries and a beer but it is entirely possible to eat clean five days a week with food I enjoy and then have a pub burger on the 6th or 7th day and have it even out on the week calorie wise.

• “Nobody’s coming for you”. Seriously, this is a you thing. A lot of people post for advice and this community, including me, is happy to help…but…you are going to do this…I, and everyone else, have their own shit to deal with…if you need somebody to show up at your door every day to push you to exercise then what happens when they get the flu? You no longer exercise? What happens when your supportive partner isn’t there that night and you have to make yourself dinner or order in? You have to own this.

• You have to change your mindset. So friends (a couple) of mine posted pics on twitter about her birthday and they showed the birthday cake he got her. Two years ago I doubt I’d have thought anything but “looks yum”. Now? I thought “what are they going to do with all the leftovers?”. i.e. it’s COVID, they weren’t sharing the cake with 8 people, they were going to have a slice at like every meal for 3-4 days until it was gone. Which is fine if you’re doing crazy athlete level exercise but not so good if you aren’t (and I love them but they aren’t). The smart move would have been to just get two slices of cake rather than an entire cake. My point is you have to think about everything in new ways.

• Start fresh every four months. One of my middle journey mistakes (talking 13 weeks to get through the 230’s when every other 10lb block had taken 6 or fewer) was that I was still thinking of myself as a 330lb guy trying to lose weight rather than a 240lb guy. Every so often you have to reset your calorie targets and goals based on what you weigh now. Every lb you lose means you no longer need calories to maintain that lb. So recalculate your TDEE and go from there. I think most plateaus are, frankly either poor tracking or poor goals in relation to your current weight. Once I dropped my calorie targets I started busting through the 10lbs blocks at a decent speed again (7.25 week average to get through 220, 210, 200, 190).

• Listen to your body. I take every 10th week off from exercise because eventually I just break down. I looked at my stats and noticed that about every 10 weeks my output crashed so now I just schedule the break. Exercise is wonderful but everyone needs rest to both recuperate and let your muscles rebuild stronger. My set schedule is four days of exercise a week with an optional cardio 5th day if I am feeling up to it.

There you have it...hopefully some of this resonated and is helpful.

So…if wondering, I am shooting for 187.6 over the next 17 days (-1.8) and will hopefully hit that. The plan for year 3 is pretty simple. Lose 0.4 lbs a week / get fitter. Obvs I'd love to come out of the gate strong and hit like 175 by end of June but every lb now is going to be a grind and I think setting a reasonable goal is better for now, so cracking 180 seems reasonable.

Last point. If I a 45 year old crazy sedentary guy who woke up every morning walking like an 80 year old (my achilles tendons were in rough shape) and had bad knees and a bad back and was single (still am lol) and depressed out of his gourd can figure out a way to drop 138+ lbs and still be crazy motivated, then you can too!!!

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