(long post, sorry. TLDR at the bottom if you don't wanna read)
(P.s. mods I'm sorry if this doesn't go here I've never posted in this group idk where else this would go)
So quick background, I've lost about 75lbs and I'm aiming to lose about another 10lbs. I lost it through good old fashioned calorie counting and exercise—VERY healthily. It took me 2.5 years (lots of breaks and slip ups along the way lol). I walk my dog 30 minutes a day, I strength train 3x a week, I eat about 1700cals to lose, and I've also implemented maintenance breaks now that I'm getting close to the end.
Anyways, I started seeing this therapist about 4 months ago because decided after spending so long fixing my physical health, I really should stop ignoring my mental health. She's been really great and has helped me through a lot of stuff. That is, until my last session.
I had been really avoiding talking about my weight loss because I don't really trust people with that information. Almost everyone has some kind of agenda and will tell you that either you're doing it wrong or you're wrong for doing it. However, I had built up such a rapport with her that I felt comfortable to just bring it up casually. I can't even remember how it came up, but I just offhand was like "I've lost 75lbs" and she raises her eyebrows and goes "ok stop, let's talk about that". She spends the next 45 minutes talking about how counting calories is bad for me, that I'm ruining my metabolism, that I should be intuitive eating, that I could be obese/overweight and healthy. I try to explain to her that as an obese/overweight person I was severely depressed, anxious, always sick, and afraid of living my life, that now I feel so much better and that I really have a healthy relationship with exercise and food where I didn't before. She didn't really believe me, and the conversation ended with "I see your point of view, but I'm not going to validate this. You were good enough then and you're good enough now. We'll put a pin in this and you can come to me if ever you're ready".
I left the session feeling really angry at first that I had spent my time and money on someone lecturing me about something I didn't feel was a problem, but then I realized it was something more. I had been deeply hurt by someone that I trusted. As I said, I don't usually bring it up because the people in my life are not kind about it. When I told her, I thought I would finally have someone who would tell me they were proud of me for bettering my life, for facing a problem head on and fixing it. But instead I was met with even more negativity as disapproval.
My problem now is that I can't stop thinking about it. I can't help thinking that maybe she's somewhat right, and that maybe all these years of weight loss—all the days of saying no, working out when I wasn't in the mood, ignoring a grumbly stomach until mealtime—was for nothing, that I've wasted my time and should just go back to where I was before. I have been shovelling food into my mouth for two days to try and quell the emotional discomfort, but so far this hasn't worked. I fear I will continue trying.
So here's where I'll put the TLDR and get to the point:
TL;DR: My therapist treated me like I have an ED when I know I don't, pushed her HAES agenda on me, and now I'm really hurt by it wondering if all my weight loss is worthless, all the benefits are made up in my head, and whether it's worth it to keep going.
Has this happened to anybody else? Am I being dramatic? Where do I go from here? How do I stop feeling upset about this and start getting back to a place where I feel excited and motivated by my weight loss goals? SHOULD I even do that??? Ugh.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3qJ7E3p
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