This is going to be a bit of a rambling post.
I'm a 28 year old male and I weigh 300 pounds. Not only that, but I think I may be experiencing the start of peripheral neuropathy, with slight numbness in my toes that comes and goes, sometimes becomes painful, and sometimes feels cold. I've been overweight for pretty much my entire life, and I want to finally fix that before I suffer some permanent physical damage. But I'm not sure how. I have clinical depression, so finding the motivation to actually do something about this is difficult. Dieting doesn't come easy, since I think I use food as something of a coping mechanism. Though I do try to keep track of calories with myfitnesspal. And the only exercise that I do really well with is walking. Not on a treadmill, but outside. There’s something about covering actual distances and being outside that makes it really enjoyable to me. I often walk for 1-1.5 hours after work when I can, and 3+ hours on my day off, if the weather isn't too bad. But now that it's Winter and it's getting colder outside, I don't know if that'll be feasible anymore. At least until Spring. And I really don't want to have to wait that long.
I've tried to improve my health and lose weight many times in the past, but I can never manage to stay with it. My depression always seems to get in the way. I'll make a little progress, but then when that progress doesn't continue or I gain the weight back, I get so discouraged that I give up entirely. Which led me to being 330, the most I've ever weighed, earlier this year. I've managed since then to get down to about 300, but getting below that has proven difficult.
What makes it worse is that I don't really know who to ask for help, or how. Whenever I try to, even when asking random people online, I always have this feeling in my mind that they're judging me for being so overweight. My weight is a very sensitive issue for me, and my self-consciousness makes it hard to seek help about it. Especially when some people just give basic advice like "eat less, exercise more". I know it should be that simple, but it's genuinely difficult for me. And my inability to properly lose weight and keep it off makes me feel even worse about it.
At this point, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make this weight loss attempt any different from the dozen other times I've tried and failed.
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