How do I get out of this cycle?- Any advice appreciated!

Any advice is appreciated! Sorry its long.

A little background on me: I'm a 20 year old female, 5'6, HW: 220 LW: 167, CW: 173

I've struggled with my weight. my entire life; there is not one point in my life that I can think that I was completely happy with my weight. I've basically yo yo dieted my whole life. Usually I can stay consistent for about a month or two, eat one bad meal that then turns into another month or two binge. Repeat this cycle.

This past summer I became really strict on my fitness. I felt amazing; I was working out consistently, eating in my calories, losing weight, and had the willpower to say no to any meal. This soon became a slippery slope. It started with my eating in my calories, but eating junk food. Then it became trying to get my calories down dangerously low. Then I would be so hungry that once it turned midnight, I would eat my calories for the next day and by 3am all my calories would be gone. Then I began binging again, followed by guilt. Then, I would try to counter this by doing like an hour and half of HIIT.

I lost about 10-15 pounds this summer. Then, I came back to college and it's been a mess. I tried to stop calorie counting and intuitively eat, but once I ate something bad, I would binge the rest of the week. Now, I've been binging basically everyday. I feel like complete shit. But my friends want to fo out for dinner tomorrow, and this weekend we are going to the city and just eating food basically, AND then I go home and it's thanksgiving. I just don't know what to do. I think I'm also struggling because I have no workout schedule like I did at home. Here, I'm scared to go to the gym with people my age because I feel like I lost all my fitness.

I just don't know how to accept that food is a part of life. I know I need to learn how to handle myself around it because it is always around and never going away, but I literally just have been binging so bad. And it's super hard because I really want to lose weight. So I feel like I have to restrict and calorie count because I want to lose about 20 more pounds. It's like I'm depressed and binging when I'm gaining weight, but I'm also depressed and binging when I'm losing weight. I also have this fear that I'm wasting my youth not being completely happy with my body. I know that if I would've just stuck to a weight loss plan YEARS or even MONTHS ago, I could've lost the weight.

What has really been bothering me is the way food has ruined experiences in my life. My friends and I are vacationing next month and I'm literally dreading it because I have to decide what to eat. This summer I cancelled so many plans and stressed about what I was going to eat so much. I didn't go on a family vacation because I was worried about my deficit. This summer, I cried on the Ferris wheel after a week long vacation because I ate a slice of pizza. Last Christmas break, I felt miserable and wanted to leave the whole time when we visited family because I was eating like shit. I know its self inflicted because I'm always like I either it good or bad, no in between.

So, any advice on changing my relationship with food, but also losing weight? Thank you!!

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How did you, or how are you, losing weight?

I love how this sub is a mixture of all different types of people, living different lives and adapting different life styles.

I am aware that weight loss ultimately comes down to a caloric deficit, but I’m curious what worked for you?

Fasting, keto, small meals throughtout the day, one large meal a day, CICO through excercise?

Any foods in particular that REALLY helped you? Any tips or tricks?

For me potatoes really help. So much tasy food for very little calories

Please share your story and what worked for you :)

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Any tips to lose weight in the first month? Reality versus expectations?

23F H: 5'2 SW: 80kg CW: 78kg GW: 55-50kg

I'm 23F (turning 24 next January) and wanna be fit before I hit 25 years old. I think that's an ample time for me to get in shape.

I'm not a first timer when it comes to weight loss, but I feel like I've forgotten what it's like to get up in the morning to run after so many months of inactivity.

Can somebody give me helpful tips to restart? Usually the first month of weight loss is the most vital part becuase it determines what else to improve along the progress.

Any tips and recommendations are appreciated. Thanks!

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Family thinks I have Orthorexia

So I’ve been on my weight loss journey for almost a year (lost 35 pounds, wanting to lose the last 10-15). I’m 5’3 and in college, so don’t have much time to exercise other than walking around campus. I never thought I’d be able to eat less than 1500 cals. But ever since I’ve learned about volume eating, it’s been a GAME CHANGER and I feel satisfied after my meals by eating whole meals. The downside is that, my family thinks i have orthorexia as I always eat whole foods, but I have to because of health issues and overall focusing on lifestyle change, because I was a TOTAL junkie like 5 months ago lol. But like, I still have a small piece of chocolate literally every night and banana pancakes)….Ugh. I’m just trying to fix my relationship with food & found this to be the most sustainable after having binge/restrict cycles. Just feeling frustrated.

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The Thing Behind the Thing Behind the Thing

I think most of us here have experienced realizing that the key to weight loss both includes and transcends just eating less. What often starts with wanting to eat healthier and move more turns into deep diving how to hack our behaviours and build virtues of discipline and self-care: it starts with adding more vegetables and progresses to focusing on stress reduction, building habits that support an exercise routine, avoiding situations that cause overeating, and getting in touch with our hunger / fullness cues.

But the longer I’ve been trying to kick my binge / stress / emotional eating, the more I’ve realized that it goes even a level deeper. Hopefully this sounds more insightful than discouraging, but it’s taken a surprisingly intense exploration into who I am as a person and the way that I move through my life in general to learn what I’ve needed to tackle my issues with food. Here’s a few examples:

1. BODILY AND EMOTIONAL AWARENESS

I’ve been incredibly over-cerebral and disconnected from my body my entire life. Recently in counselling I was shocked to learn that not only does every emotion manifest itself in your body as a physical sensation, but that many people seem to be naturally in touch with this lol. The worst of my binge-eating habit developed mainly out of a need to disconnect from my physical self: the more aware I’ve become of my body and emotions, the less I’ve tried to stomp those sensations out with food. Not only that, but I more aware of and willing to prevent the uncomfortable feeling of overeating and eating things that don’t serve my body well.

1. AVOIDANCE

I have an avoidant personality. My natural inclination is to ignore (but still stress about) a problem until it absolutely MUST be dealt with. Need to make an uncomfortable phone call? I’ll panic about it but continue to do nothing until I’m getting in trouble at work / need my medication right this minute / it’s been three months since they’ve heard from me and I’m freaking out about how terrible of a person I am. It took me years to realize the common thread here, but dealing with my to-do list promptly and not having a million stresses about things I really ought to be doing has probably reduced the number of times I feel the urge to distract myself with a binge by 80%

1. EMBRACING CONSISTENCY

I still don’t understand why, because it sounds awful on paper, but there is a not-insignificant part of my brain that really likes having a pattern of highs and lows in various areas of my life. I first noticed it in how I deal with housework: I’ll spend every spare minute cleaning one week and then let the dishes form a mountainous pile the next. I used to go to the gym six days some weeks, but then be too burnt out to go at all the next. When things are just fine and I’m making steady progress I feel like I’m getting nowhere: even in my marriage I sometimes find myself picking little fights because I just don’t like things being the same all the time. Although I’ve always intellectually known that it’s counter-productive to weight loss, I really prefer to restrict hard and make rapid progress and then eat everything in sight when I inevitably fall off the wagon. It’s taken a lot of mental adjustment to learn the type of moderation where I don’t feel cheated if a special meal doesn’t include a second or third plate, or that a day of eating “only” 100 calories under my TDEE means I’m getting nowhere.

What do you think? Have you had any other similar personal revelations that have impacted your weight loss journey?

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It’s Time

I’ve always had the thought of being overweight just lingering in my mind. But I always made excuses for why I should be okay with it. I’ve always suffered with self esteem and love.

My boyfriend and I booked a trip to Japan for April. I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb, and I want to be able to hike while we’re there without passing out. So today starts day one of hitting the gym and counting calories. I started small with 20 minutes inclined on the treadmill and 15 minutes on the recumbent bike on the “weight loss” trail.

I can do It! You can do it! Let’s all do the damn thing!!!

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I feel like sometimes this sub is too critical against exercise

First, I want to admit that yes, CICO is the key to weight loss. This is true, I’m not arguing it. I also fully admit that if someone is eating well over their maintenance/binge eating/eating out of feelings and not hunger, then ultimately changing their diet will be the key for the majority of weight loss. That being said, I feel like the importance of exercise is often pretty understated, especially towards the end of a weight loss journey for those last 20/30 pounds.

Personally, I love food. It’s one of my favorite things, I love cooking and baking, and I love eating. Until last year, I was also pretty sedentary, and on average I probably ate around 2000cals a day (last year I weighed 160 at 5’2, and I was slowly gaining at that amount). Now, I weigh 130, and I still eat 2000 calories a day. It’s been a huge lifestyle change, and not everyone has the privilege to add exercise to their daily routine, but if you’re like me and really like food, you’re on the smaller side, and just generally don’t want to have to cut back, finding a sport/hobby that’s active and helps you stay active can really make a difference. I started walking 6 to 7 miles a day, going on biweekly 5k runs, and I’ve honestly never felt better, and by my basic calculations I’m burning 500 to 600 extra calories per day. And I eat exactly the same amount. I realize that if I ever stop exercising I will have to change my diet again or gain more weight, but I’m ok with that.

All of this isn’t to say that you can’t or shouldn’t lose weight by changing your diet, and again I realize that not everyone has the privilege of being able to exercise consistently. But for the people who really love eating food and really don’t want to change their eating habits, there are still options.

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