Can someone tell me why I can’t just vent to my boyfriend about how my way of trying to lose weight isn’t working without him offering a solution? In fact, I can’t even talk about other peoples’ weight loss without him trying to push their method on me.
For context, we’re both trying to get back in shape. He wanted to lose 30ish pounds, I wanted to lose 25lbs, but apparently I need to lose 40 according to the body assessment I had (but that’s a story for another day).
He recently started intermittent fasting… eating only between 1p and 9pm, but otherwise not really changing what he consumes (except both of us are eating less sweet treats). Paired with his IF he takes the dogs on a walk for 30 mins a few days a week and has a more active job. He’s done a great job at dropping weight, and is over halfway to his goal in a month.
My method has involved just trying to make smaller sustainable diet changes, drinking more water, and going to the gym 4 times a week. I work a fairly sedentary job. I’ve been doing this for the past 3 weeks ish and there’s been no change at all in my weight. I’ve been a little discouraged but I’m still trying, but not making any radical changes.
Anyways recently I mentioned I haven’t lost any weight and he suggested IF. He said it’s working for him so I should try it. I tried to explain that when I don’t eat until late in the day, I gorge myself and can’t stop eating. He said he didn’t think it matters how much you eat during that time, as long as it’s only within those hours. I disagreed and we ended the convo with him still saying I should try it.
Today I told him a friend of mine is down 35 lbs. He asked how. I told him what she told me - her dr. prescribed her phentermine and she eats under 1200 cals a day. I made a comment about how i won’t be doing that because I feel like I’d be worsening my mental health by feeling like I was starving myself, to which his response was “well isn’t that kind of the point?” I said no, it’s not really a healthy calorie intake for most people, and that the “point” is being in a calorie deficit which most people accomplish without cutting that drastically. I also mentioned that my friend is also on a pretty powerful weight loss aid. I got a little irritated and it led to him saying we just shouldn’t talk about this anymore, but I’m irritated because sometimes I just want to express my frustration without him pushing some fad solution on me.
I’m not without blame here, I know, but when he says these things it feels like he’s telling me or thinking I’m just not trying hard enough. Thanks for listening!
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