Freaking Out About This Setback..

So, I ate 2500 calories today. My maintenance is 1300 andd at my “optimal weight loss deficit” according to that tdee calculator app thing, I should be eating around 800. I eat 800-900 calories per day, but today I messed up and had around 2500. Ugh. So how bad of a weight loss setback is that? What should I do? Continue deficit as usual orrr cut it back a little to make up for the binge? (For anyone concerned about those calorie counts, 5’3 and pretty petite so my needs are small.)

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feeling a lot better about the task ahead after meeting the right Dr today.

I am a 33yr old guy and only a few weeks into my weight loss journey. I realistically need to lose around 30-40kg. I had to go to the Dr today which i always dread as they always bring up my weight even if it's not related to my visit and my previous interactions with medical staff have left me fearful about going for check-ups ect. But I've recently moved to a new town which meant a new medical centre and the Dr was awesome. I've never been so relaxed around a gp before and aside from the separate issue for which I was there we had a really good conversation about weight loss and in the end I felt totally fine letting her take all my measurements (weight, blood pressure ect ect) and she has given me a referral and convinced me to talk to someone about ongoing anxiety issues which are related to my weight issues. So if you are struggling and need any type of professional help, don't be afraid to look around until you find the right person to help.

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Exercise and calories?

M, 28, 5’-11”, 228lbs. ~ 4-8 hrs of exercise per week.

So I’ve recently started to work out again at the gym, doing weight lifting about 5-6x per week. After each session I usually do high resistance cardio. I’m either throwing the elliptical to max resistance and aim for 3.5mph average or do the stairmaster for a decent speed. I do this anywhere from 5-10min since it winds me extremely fast and gets super intense.

On my “off” days I usually try to play tennis for minimum 1 Hr. Usually it lasts longer because I enjoy playing. I’ll rarely have a true off day because I like to stay active, but I’m going to start actually including them more. If anything I’ll skip cardio and play some tennis to sub for cardio.

For my exercise for the day I will usually log it in total as 350ish calories(weight lifting and cardio combined). If I play tennis I’ll log more, because I know I burn a ton of calories playing tennis. My band tracks it usually at 750 calories average for 1.5 hour session, give or take. I’ll assume it overestimated and log it around 450 to 500.

My calorie intake I had going for the past 3 weeks (1600 calories + whatever burned from exercise) felt like way too little. It was so bad that I felt extremely tired and weak, my weight lifting was affected a lot, I couldn’t even imagine doing anything I was doing previously before counting my calories, my warm up reps were tiring me out and I couldn’t add too much more weight past that. I absolutely lost weight, but it felt too fast and I gave up tons of energy and lifting performance doing so.

With that said, this week I finally decided to up my calories. With my weight, height, age, and activity(4-8 hours of exercise weekly) I am supposed to be eating roughly 2,020 calories daily to loose about 2lbs per week. So i decided to up my calories to around 2020 and not log my exercises. Just eat 2020 no matter what. Off days, extra calories burned days etc. I def feel a bit better, but now I’m worried that I am now overeating.

I don’t want to eat so little that I greatly affect my weight lifting, but I also don’t want to eat too much that I slow down my weight loss dramatically. Just looking for some guidance.

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Torn on what to do: switch to maintenance despite not reaching my goals or power through?

I'll try to keep it short. I went from 155lbs to ~200lbs from late 2019 to 2021. Then for 1 year and 4 months now, I've been on a weight loss journey. It's been tough because I was fixing a million things in my life at the same time but through some ups and down I managed to get down to 165lbs now and packed on a fair bit of muscles. My routine generally consists of 15k steps/day, 1800 calories average (lower during weekdays so I can eat more on weekends), weight training 4-5 times/week.

After a pretty long journey, I'm very tired of being at a deficit especially that my routine consisted of 15k steps a day to supplement my loss and in very cold weather where I live it has been a challenge. My plan for winter 2023 was to aim to eat maintenance while continuing to work out so I can do a body recomposition. That changed when I did a dexa scan in early January when I was around 170lbs and it showed I'm at almost 28% body fat which meant I'd need to lose a lot more fat to get to where I want to be. I decided to power through and keep losing.

My goal based on what my body looks like now is 160lbs with 16-18% BF so I'll need to lose 10-15lbs of fat and put on more muscles.

Based on how much I slowed down the last 2-3 weeks. I believe to continue at a rate of 4lbs/month, I'd have to cut alcohol again and not eat out on weekends. Unfortunately, continuing that means I'm isolating myself quite a bit socially, much more importantly eating around 1600 cals and spending up to 3h a day walking + gym leaves almost no energy or time to devote to ramping up on my new job. So far I prioritized weight loss but with the pressure I started having anxiety issues again for the first time since 2021 and I think I might need to reconsider my approach.

At the same time, if I don't power through right now, I won't get to my goals before summer because I'll need at least 3 months of fat loss at 4lb/month to get to where I want to be.

Thank you for reading through all of this. Happy to hear any suggestions!

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Can any recommend me any decent women tiktok weight loss and fitness influencers?

Weird one I know. My Mrs wants to start working out and losing weight again, she used to be crazy athletic but when covid hit like many people all fitness and stuff fell apart. She's been saying for a while now she wants to get back into it but she just doesn't have the motivation or discipline to be consistent

She finds videos and stuff motivational, she'll watch something on YouTube and she'll want to hit the gym or she'll track all her calories for a bit but eventually she'll run out of steam

She spends hours doomscrolling tiktok so I had the idea to maybe reccomend some influencers she could follow and maybe that'll help but also fitness tiktok is 99% scams, and toxic bullshit.

Are there any women influencers on tiktok that are pure positivity and motivational?

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35lbs/15.8kg down in 16 weeks! Am wondering if weight loss is still needed for health.

Just for context, I'm an Asian, 20M who just started his weight loss journey 16 wks ago and I have a few questions about health and weight and am wondering if losing more will make me healthier when I'm finally in the "acceptable" zone or am near it as you know the range of healthy BMI, Fat %, Waist to Height Ratio and Waist to Hip ratios are pretty big, you can be anywhere near the underweight end or the overweight end. I'm mostly wondering about the health within/near the healthy ranges. I started my weight loss journey with health being the main reason and priority so I can extend my average lifespan by around 4-6 years.

My stats when I started (Take the metric standard for largest accuracy)

Height: 1.68m/5ft6inch

Weight: 81kg/178.5lbs

Waist: 94cm/37inch

Neck/Hip Circumference & Fat % : Unknown

My current stats

Height: 1.68m

Weight: 65.2kg/143.7lbs

Waist: 77.5cm/30.5inch

Neck : 33cm

Hip: 89cm

BMI: 23.1 (Overweight by Asian standards, 17.5-23 for Acceptable, 0.3-0.4kg off Acceptable)

Waist to Hip Ratio: 0.87 (Acceptable for Asian Males, Under 0.90)

Waist to Height Ratio: 0.46 (Acceptable)

Fat % Calculated by BMI/Navy Army standards in the US : 16.2-16.3%

Fat % Calculated by a Medical Appointment using some electrical current machine measurement : 17.2%

Notabale Fitness: (Context: Long Distance Runner with 1x a week Bodyweight Exercise and Brisk Walking cross training and running 4-5x a week)

5K Personal Best: 28:06

10K Personal Best: 1:00:39

15K Personal Best: 1:36:55

21.1K Completion (Once) : 2:34:48 (Will attempt again next month, was too conservative with my pace)

Push Ups in 60s without Resting : 26

Sit Ups in 60s without Resting: 48

Covered a Total Distance of 432.6km from Running since I started

Longest Distance Brisk Walked: 24km in 4 hours

Weight Loss Strategy:

I ate 1600-1700kcals/day (2 meals a day) and ran very regularly, my weight loss was approximately 0.8-1.1kg/wk but has since slowed since Wk 15 & 16 to around 0.4-0.7kg/wk

I wouldn't say I ate very healthily, I still ate fast food 1-2x a week but accounted that as my allocated meals and calories. I still love sinful food but I now love running and it has became a lifestyle for me. The rest of the meals can be considered decently healthy, e.g. 1/2 a bowl of rice with 1 serving of Tofu/Eggs, 1 serving of boiled/stir fried vegetables (Cabbage, and most Asian vegetables like Kai Lan/Chinese Spinach) with 1 serving of meat (Usually braised/stir fried/baked and fried on occasion, I hate steamed meats istg). No snacks allowed with the exception of Chocolate Milk or 85% Dark Chocolate Post and Pre Runs if I'm tackling the 15k or 21.1k.

My question that I have is that, is it "healthy" for me to get off my deficit right now to eat 3 meals a day so I can run further and properly fuel myself for my runs to actually see my max potential in long distance running. I don't have much muscle mass like a resistance training main/weightlifter/calisthenic main but my runs are definitely improving and my calves and thighs are pretty defined. My upperbody isn't lean imho with some slight handlebars on my waist but a flat stomach, no definition of abs.

Or should I up my deficit further (likely by more exercise) and upping my distances to 60-65km/week to burn more calories while eating the same currently. Personally I feel like the 4500-5500kcal deficit I create every week is really stifling my ability to really improve my runs, it's improving but I feel like I could do much better if I actually ate more and it's lowkey annoying me, the extra meal would really make me happier and satiated (literally and figuratively with my performance).

I have 2 options right now and it's either.

1. Cut down further to 59-60kg (21-21.5 BMI) and extend my cut further by another 4-5 weeks which I guess is fine it's not that bad.
2. Moving into Calorie Maintenance mode after Wk 17/18 (Ideally around 63-64kg) and eat 3 meals a day to actually see larger jumps in my run performance (22-23 BMI)
3. Cut down to 55-56kg (Still acceptable for Asians, 19 BMI) and extend my cut by a whole 2-3 months more that will make me feel miserable af.

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How do you fight the self-hatred?

I'm struggling with the mental aspect big time. I've always fueled my weight loss attempts from the point of self-loathing which has just resulted in a sense of urgency and body dysmorphia/fixations and subsequently a past with disordered eating. i want to pursue good nutrition, fitness, strength, and some physique goals, which i know all take time to be sustainable. i want to focus on genuinely improving my relationship with my body and food while coming from a place of love and respect for my body but I can't help but go down the same cycles of turning on myself the second something becomes hard. How have you fought the sense of urgency / the self-loathing / etc?

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