Friday, February 24, 2023

Losing Weight with Recovery from Binge Eating Disorder

hi! trigger warning: binge eating disorder

female|5'4"|sw: 189|cw: 189|gw: 156

i've been seeing a therapist and a registered dietitian for fighting through binge eating disorder. i was in an unhealthy relationship with my ex and dietwise, i would restrict too much (around 1400 calories during the weekdays) and then basically bingeing on sundays in secret. i am no longer bingeing after getting out of my relationship and working through some of my issues and i'm really proud of myself, though i've gained close to 20lbs since September.

the main thing i've been focusing on with my registered dietitian is eating on a consistent schedule and incorporating a well rounded meal with protein, carbs, and veggies. i no longer go 4 hours without eating. according to loseit, my tdee is around 1700-1800. i currently go to orangetheory (HIIT/circuit style workout with the treadmill, rowing machine, and free weights) and burn about 400-500 calories each session. i'm currently averaging around 2100 calories most days, which is why I am of course not losing weight.

my question is - for those who have been in my position of recovering from an eating disorder, how do you lose weight? i have been on my weight loss journey since the beginning of january and have lost no weight so far and have also not been able to cut any inches when doing physical measurements. i'm trying to incorporate 3 meals and 2 snacks, but i can't for the life of me get to 1700 calories and be satiated. i don't want to get back into the eating disorder spiral, but don't know how to make my meals more satiating and keep me full. i'm also having trouble with falling asleep hungry, which is a massive struggle for me. would love some tips and suggestions on what y'all do! thank you so much!

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Thursday, February 23, 2023

I gained all the weight I’ve lost

Just like what the title says, I gained all my weight (and even more) that I’ve once lost.

I’ve been on my real weight loss journey again for a week now, starting to count calories again. I’m starting to realize I have an unhealthy addiction with food. I always think about what I’m going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner even though I literally just ate. I eat even when I’m full. I hate myself so much right now for not being able to resist it.

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what is more important to lose like body fat or weight loss?

I'm 27 and about 151 pounds but I just don't like what I'm seeing in the mirror. Idk I just kinda look chubby and usually I'm like around 142 pounds but this past year I just been home and eating too much calories especially carbs and junk foods. So I don't know really how to lose weight. I don't like exercising especially cardio. But I do like taking long walks and stuff. In terms of food, is it good to cut down on salt and sugar ?

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Feeling less wide

(25f)5”7 starting weight: 117kg Down to 109kgs This has been the first time I’ve lost weight properly as I’m doing this as a whole life style change not just weight loss but creating healthier habits. I have been prioritising weight training with slowly building up cardio. I train with a pt 5 times a fortnight & had my first appointment with a dietitian this week.

I’ve been losing weight since November this week is the first week I’ve noticed and felt a huge change with how less wide I am & can noticeably see it I’ve been lighter than this and have been a lot wider than I am now…my question is what was your mindset when you got to this stage of not just seeing small changes but vase differences? Like I feel so good but weird at the same time, I can’t describe it

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I started counting calories and it's...fun?

I got the Lose It app and first enjoyed how tailored the daily calorie amount was with all the questions it asked. Then as I started adding food, instead of being boring, annoying or even scary, I just think it's interesting. It makes me really think about what I'm eating. And adding food onto the app, trying to stay below the alloted calorie number, is like a game. So it's like gamifying my weight loss. Being able to add workouts which subtracts from my total number is also cool. I'm sure after a while I will either get tired of it or get used to it, but I'm glad I decided to start counting calories.

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Dramatic drop in blood pressure

In Dec ‘21 I was put on a diuretic for high blood pressure. It was finally the kick in the pants I needed to take my health more seriously. It wasn’t until Aug ‘22 I started CICO earnestly, but my blood pressure didn’t really start going down. Last month it was 150/90 and I weighed in at 345 lbs (I had lost almost 40 pounds at this point). I had another appt today and was still expecting my blood pressure to be sky high, but it was 130/86! Obviously still high but way better. I was so afraid my doctor was going to say I needed another med. I think the craziest thing is the difference in weight between today and last month was only around 7 pounds so it’s kind of crazy to see a big difference with that small of a weight loss.

Anyway I’m looking forward to my bp getting back to normal soon!

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It just feels like it's forever to go.

I might be falling into a depression or something, but I feel overwhelmed with guilt about running my weight up so high, and I can't erase that guilt until I'm a normal weight, until I can be a normal person.

I'm afraid of falling into a disorder, because when the rest of my life hits a lull, weight loss feels like a form of pennance that I must do for my failure.

I'm going to weigh myself in a couple days and I hope to see some success. I expect to given the way clothes feel on me. But I also want to cry. I'm a year from my goal even in the best case. I know my life went to shit, I gained this weight because I lived on fast food under a ton of stress, that I should let go, that some guy telling me to "put down the video game controller" didn't really get that my mom died and her illness exhausted me, but I don't know how if I'm working on it like this. I'm taking every negative comment to heart. One of my friends jokes about my lack of fashion sense, but even that's ringing in my ears now.

I'm four months into losing weight, about three from when I first had the courage to weight myself, and I feel like I'm cracking from everything I'm not. Like the more I focus on my faults and try to correct them, the more they hurt me. I don't have creative outlets, so I take an art course, but I'm an absolute beginner; I applied for a higher paying job, but I feel inadequate; I tried my hand at online dating and got a few early matches, but I got bored when they steered the conversation to interview-style questions.

I should feel good that I'm trying. So many people never do. But I don't. I feel absolutely terrible.

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