I dont' care.
I was absolutely taken aback when I stepped on the scale and it was the highest it had been in years..... After spending the last month meal prepping macros by weight and in a calorie deficit, getting steps 5-12,000 steps a day in depending on the day,,100+oz of water and lifting heavy 2-4 times a week. I wasn't expecting a 20lb weight loss, but I sure as hell wasn't expecting the scale to go up.
I laid back in bed just to process what has just happened and tears filled my eyes for a second. I scoured through what I could be doing wrong.
As someone with a former eating disorder I know how to track calories/macros. Counting grams of everything from protein to condiments. I hadn't been perfect 100% of the time but it was consistently ~around~ that goal number, and a HELL of a lot better than the boxes of 4 Crumble cookies in a setting, or Tex Mex delivery for two, I had been consuming in the months or previous. I wasn't expecting something unrealistic. But I was absolutely not expecting the scale to go up by several pounds.
But I decided within a half hours time. I do not give a shit. This would be a fantastic opportunity to quit.... which will get me exactly no where. But I I KNOW I am doing all the right things. I can't explain the scale, but I am going to continue doing exactly what I'm doing.
My mental health has been fabulous the past month because of all these things. I have done all of these things in the past and achieved a body I wish I still had. So scale me dammed. Maybe it's just not enough time for the measuring tape to show anything. I am positive I am moving in the right direction.
So I guess I'm posting for accountability and to speak into the eather of the internet ---- this time, I'm not quitting.
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