Mental spin out after weight loss?

First time ever posting… 47 year old man who has been over 300 lbs since I was a young teenager, unable to buy cloths in “normal” stores since junior high, that big and tall life. In the last three years I have lost over 240lbs thru diet and hard exercise, with 110 of it being in the last year (590lbs to 350lbs) . I feel like I’ve hit a good feedback loop now where I’m trying to eat better to workout harder and I’m feeling like a million bucks compared to the pain of just being that big, I know this time I might have a chance to actually reach goals I could never think to before. However I have had some real mental hurdles thru this, I still see the fat guy, In the mirror and in my mind. Today was a weird milestone, for the first time in…ever, I went to Walmart and tried on a 3xl shirt and it fit comfortably, I broke down and cried in the changing room for 10 minutes. I cannot accept the person in the mirror as me, no matter how much I tell myself or others tell me how good I’m doing. Just random strangers or people who haven’t seen me in forever telling me how good I look makes me feel worse. No one complimented me ever on my looks, just “ you have such a great personality” and now it happens a lot and it’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s almost is starting to feel like a slap in the face. I actually feel less confidant in this new body I’ve worked so fucking hard for and it’s starting to drive me crazy a bit. Maybe this was a rant I need to get off my chest… maybe I’m asking for advice.. I don’t know anymore.

Thanks for listening.

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Losing 1lb per week but Personal Trainer wants more and I feel defeated

I, 27 F (5’7”), have gained about 30 lbs, reaching my heaviest at 260 lbs over the past 2 years. I've struggled with weight and body image most of my life but this year I’ve had enough. The last couple of years were especially stressful, and I coped with food (more than usual), which led to the increased weight gain and lack of motivation.

Three months ago, I decided to put my health as a priority. I hired an online personal trainer to help me build structure and stay accountable. When I started, I wasn't going to the gym, barely hit 3,000 steps a day, and ate without much thought. Now, I go to the gym 3-5 times a week, walk 7,000-9,000 steps a day, do cardio 2-4 times a week, and track calories/macros almost daily.

Program Overview: Started at: 1968 calories | P: 172g | F: 60g | C: 250g Steps: 9k/day Cardio: 3x/week, 15 mins @ HR >135 Strength: 4x/week

Now: 1826 calories | P: 145g | F: 55g | C: 190g Steps: 10k/day Cardio: 4x/week, 25 mins Strength: 5x/week

What I Actually Average: Food: On track with current macros Steps: 7k–9k/day Cardio: 2–4 times/week Strength: 3–5 times/week

I’m doing a lot better with food and consistency, but I struggle to hit all movement goals. I work a full-time desk job and try to stay active, but a lot of the time, I feel like there just isn’t enough time to accomplish everything.

For the first 1.5-2 months, I didn’t lose scale weight, but I noticed fat loss and muscle gain from progress pictures. My trainer said I was likely doing a body recomposition and losing fat/gaining muscle at the same time. Over the past month, I’ve consistently lost about 1 lb per week (about 6 lbs total now) and I feel so much better. My clothes fit better, I’ve gone down a belt notch, and I’ve only used food to cope once, which is a huge win for me.

The Issue: Lately, my trainer has said things like “If you’re not hitting cardio, the least you can do is walk,” and “You get the results from the work you put in, if your happy with where you’re at we can just maintain. If you want to lose more, you need to put in more effort” This has made me feel kind of defeated. I was feeling proud of how far I have come, but now I’m second-guessing everything. Like, why am I spending all my free time in the gym if it’s never enough? Evey week I still am losing weight (1lb) but for some reason, my trainer keeps upping my cardio keeps and decreasing my food…. I already was having trouble meeting initial goals but now I’m expected to do more.

I always thought 1–2 lbs/week was healthy weight loss. To clarify: I don’t necessarily have a goal weight or timeline. I just want to feel healthier and build sustainable habits, but it seems like my trainer expects faster progress and burnout.

To clarify, I work a full-time desk job and try to be intentional about moving throughout the day but it doesn’t always happen as much as I would like. After work, I am usually slammed by meal prepping, going on a walk, going to the gym or normal household chores.

Question: Am I wrong for feeling this way? Should I suck it up and meet every single goal? Or what would you do?

Thank you for taking the time to read this!!

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Have you ever had a friend try to sabotage your weight loss?

Since I actively started losing weight, my friend started behaving strangely, for example, saying that she ate something tasty or unhealthy like burgers and pizza as if bragging that she can afford that, saying that I look good anyway and I don’t need a diet, while it feels like a lie. She also does such a tricky thing as premature praise so that I relax and give up losing weight, she says that have a thin face and “stick legs”. Which is impossible, again, with my extra pounds. Why does she do this?

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Plateau for 3 weeks on significant deficit.

M/43/205lbs, 185lb goal. I’m at a bit of a loss here regarding my weight loss. I started mid-April and went from 235 to 208 in about 40 days or so, I’m assuming some of its water weight but weighing myself at the same time each day tracked a bit under a pound per day loss. TDEE calculators peg me at about 3200c/day maintenance and I was around 1300.

This is doing the 75 hard program, so I’m running a 4 day split 5-3-1 boring but big with some core and auxiliary work on the 3 non-program days. I also walk/jog 4 miles every evening and have been doing a lot of masonry work around the house.

My diet specifics I set for myself were low carb 20/4 fast (eat from 5pm to 9pm) with an allowance for my morning latte. Loose measuring gave me 190 calories for my coffee then 900 - 1200 calories for my dinner. About a month ago there was a change to my goal date and I tweaked things a bit.

Every day I have two protein shakes: Breakfast - 130 calories 12oz water 33g ghost coffee ice cream protein powder (120c) 4oz ice cubes 1.5oz 0 calories Carmel pecan syrup 2oz espresso (10c)

After dinner (8pm)- 160 calories 12oz water 4oz ice cubes 5g sugar free chocolate pudding mix (15c) 34g ghost Cinnabon protein powder (130c) 5g benefiber (15c)

Last night my meal was 755 calories. 200g trimmed tri tip (315c) 28g blue cheese crumbles (100c) 100g baby spinach (100c) 30g black olives (40c) 30ml pomegranate dressing (40 calories) 28g crushed pistachios (160c)

I’m also drinking between 1 and 1.5 gallons of water per day. I am only getting about 6 hours of sleep but that’s normal for me.

The only thing that changes daily are my dinners but everything is measured, normally before cooking then divided equally after it’s done. I know I’m on the low side but I don’t understand how my weight isn’t dropping and my lifting isn’t being impacted (1rm is going up for each).

I’ve lost another few inches from my waist but the scale hasn’t changed. My fiancé is dropping weight as well (not as drastic) and the scale is reporting this correctly so it’s not the scale.

I’m just confused and wondering what could be going on. I’m pusing a 2000+ calorie deficit and should be down to almost 190 instead of the 205 I’ve been stuck at for 3 weeks. Is there any reason the weight isn’t going away or anything specific I should try? If it’s an imbalance of some kind, should I get bloodwork done and what would I be looking for?

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Feel bigger even though i’m consistently losing weight

Hi everyone, not really sure what I want from this post (advice, others feeling the same, some brutal honesty etc etc) but I just need to get my thoughts out.

I have been losing weight since the start of the year but have been doing well for about three months. I’ve started walking 10k steps daily, lowering my portions, calorie deficit all the good stuff. I haven’t lost tons on the scale yet, i’ve been eating what I want in moderation and i’m happy with slow consistent weight loss. I’m used to fad diets and wanting to lose all the lbs in 2 weeks and I know it just doesn’t work like that.

Anyway, as the title says, I feel like since i’ve started losing weight my insecurities about my body have heightened. I have taken the progress pics, i’ve got some pairs of jeans that i’ve been tracking how they feel and it’s going well. All of my clothes feel looser, I have more energy, everything seems to be going how I want it to except visibly how I look.

I feel like the biggest i’ve ever been (I’m not), I feel like nothing suits me, everything looks frumpy and I feel horrible in myself. It’s making me lose motivation and my discipline is slipping. Has anyone else felt this? Is there a name for it? when I think about my progress I’m proud of myself for sticking to this for even three months which I know in the grand scheme of things isn’t a lot but when I was doing fad diets I was lucky to stick to 2 weeks!!

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What am I doing wrong? 270 pounds & morbidly obese (26F) in need of tough love

I started taking my weight loss seriously in February, but it is so discouraging when you don’t see any momentum down on the scale. I was 280 pounds, 5’7” and morbidly obese on Feb. 20. I started cutting processed foods, cutting down on takeaways, and increasing movement. The first week I went walking my thighs were sore after 30 minutes. But then it got easier. I can honestly say I’m more mobile and have a healthier diet now than I did before. Not perfect by any means, but much improved.

That being said, I’ve only lost 10 pounds. I’m stuck at about 270 no matter what I do, and it makes me want to give up and turn back to food. I feel fatter than ever, because I took off my beer goggles while trying to get healthy. I have really started looking at myself, and I can’t believe how bad it has gotten. I’m so young but in the 98-99th BMI percentile nationally. I don’t know how I let myself get like this.

How do I push forward when the results haven’t been there?

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Calories deficit and lifting weights

Hello all. I am 21 years old Female weighs 142 lbs and 5’2” . I look plumpy and fluffy for my height and my goal is to be around 110-115 lbs and look slim. I dont really care about muscle gains or whatevs. I am on a calorie deficit diet eating 1200-1500 calories everyday and lift weights 6 days a week. Been hitting gym for 3 weeks and i am now at 137 lbs.

Some say lifting weights while trying to lose body fat make you gain muscle causing weight not drop significantly or making it slow weight loss process (body recomp or whatever from what I read). Is that true?

Should i just quit gym and just keep focusing on strict dieting with calorie deficit + maybe 10k steps everyday

Or should i renew my gym membership and go for more weight lifting

And i dont wanna do cardio it makes me so tired And yes i already know weight lifting or any workout in general makes me healthy and i should do it but For now i just wanna clearly know If i should go for dieting alone or diet + weight lift to get my goal of 110-115 lb body

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