Apologies for the long post incoming, but I want to give the appropriate context. Just for clarification, I am currently 29 years old (about to turn 30), 6’4, 325 pounds (down from 425).
I’ve struggled with weight my entire life, and I’ve been at most weight stages (from lean and athletic to morbidly obese), and I understand the struggle very well.
My latest bout of weight gain started around 2022, not get to much into it but a relationship I had been in for years fall apart and it was the start of me not caring about myself. I don’t want to blame it all on that, I’ve had a bad relationship with food and struggled with depression and anxiety forever, but I think that was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Fast forward to 2024 and I was deep in depression and putting on weight like crazy. I was doing nothing except drinking, vaping, snacking and eating fast food. It got so bad where I was only eating fast food for about 2 months straight.
Every facet of my life had gotten demonstrably worse. My joints hurt, my body felt awful, I was breaking out, losing hair, getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night, libido and sexual performance were nonexistent, constant panic attacks, I was avoiding any and all social contact, and I constantly thought about death and felt like I would be off dead (my therapist later described me as ‘passively suicidal’).
Mid 2024 I was missing work coming in late, and my manager brought me in to a private room and asked me is everything was okay. He talked to me about how he was worried about and at that moment I realized I needed to change because it must’ve been incredibly obvious if he was noticing.
I’m lucky enough that my health insurance covers mental healthcare, so I started attending therapy and got put on antidepressants. We worked through a lot of past trauma and understanding why I was addicted to these destructive habits and coping mechanisms, but admittedly I was kinda just going through the motions and I didn’t take it too seriously to start with.
Come mid November 2024, my father (who is diabetic) has a heart attack. This was incredibly hard on my family, especially my mother and sister, and my mom sat down with me and told me she was really worried about me as well. I promised my mom at the new year I would go see a doctor and get a health exam.
January 2025 I was at a very low point (arguably my lowest), I was deep in debt and then come to find out I was under investigation at work for missing and being late to work so much the year before (this would get resolved a month later but I was put on probation for 9 months). I felt like I was at the end of my rope, and I didn’t know what to do. Luckily my mom was there for and helped me stay strong.
I kept my promise and got a health exam from my doctor. At this point I was 416 pounds and I found out I was pre-diabetic… This was very devastating to me as diabetes has killed multiple people in my family, and I decided I finally need to start seriously trying to change.
The first few months were rough. I tried hiring a personal trainer and although I liked the guy I just did not enjoy the experience (I’ve always worked better on my own). I also fell on and off the wagon and I actually put on 9 more pounds for a peak weight of 425.
Come June, I had gone to the dentist and they took my blood pressure while there. They took it multiple times with different devices and I asked what was wrong, and they informed me that my “blood pressure was way too high for someone my age”.
This was very scary to me and the final straw. I made the decision to start going to the gym the very next day. I signed up for the one down the road from me (a Gold’s). This wasn’t too hard of a choice since I had always enjoyed lifting weights (I was fairly lean and athletic in high school/college), however the night before I was so nervous and anxiety ridden about going that I had a panic attack and wandered around my neighborhood for 2-3 hours starting at midnight trying to calm myself down. I got maybe 2 hours of sleep that night, but I still went the next day.
I was very nervous but the gym staff were incredibly friendly and accommodating, and I realized people weren’t judging me. I started going 3-4 days a week and eating better, but I realized that my diet needed some serious work. Luckily I found out my health insurance also fully covers a nutritionist, so I started seeing them and I’ll be honest, I think this is the thing that really changed my results.
The nutritionist helped me form a nutrition plan and get my calories and macros in check, as well as explaining to me the importance of a calorie deficit and protein intake, and this is when the weight really started to melt off for me. Just so we’re clear, I don’t believe a nutritionist is necessary for weight loss at all, as most of the stuff they taught me is just freely available online, but since it was fully covered by my insurance I thought why not.
I also started seriously strength training and doing 30-40 minutes of light cardio (walking around my neighborhood or work office), and it felt like a light switch flipped in me internally.
It wasn’t an easy or linear process by any means, I learned motivation is the most fleeting of fuels for making a lifestyle change, and that weight/strength fluctuations in the short term are completely normal, but I just kept going and consistent, sticking to training and nutrition plans.
Fast forward to today; I’m 100 pounds lighter, I’m no longer pre-diabetic, and I feel more hopeful and ambitious than I have in years. I knew something had changed when I no longer fear public outings or seeing my reflection. I could finally dress for fashion as opposed to comfort. My pain is almost completely gone, my sleep is much better, and I look better than I have in years. No panic attacks in months, and no alcohol in half a year.
This time last year I was wondering if I would be better off dead, now I finally feel like I can do anything. I’ve still got a long way to go to reach my goal weight, but it’s never felt more possible.
I do recognize how privileged I am to have my mom and friends as a support structure, and that my health insurance covered the therapies I needed, but I just want you to know change is possible.
If you have any specific questions about nutrition, training methods, how to stay consistent, etc., I’ll try to answer them in the comments.
In the meantime stay strong guys, it’s absolutely possible to change, you guys got this.
