Hello everyone! I hope you are all well? I am 5'3 and have always been a "small" person until my depression got bad and I stopped leaving the house as much. Before then I used to weigh around 115lbs yet I never watched what I ate and never gained much weight at all until the past few years. Because of my small frame I want to lose the weight but have no idea how to, I now weigh between 130-140lbs (I am too ashamed of even checking but I know it's between these figures) and I look a lot different than I did before! The last time I checked my BMI I was in the healthy range but was borderline overweight, this was a shock and killed my confidence. The thing is my health is very bad and it's not going to be easy. My anxiety is so bad that I basically stay indoors most of the time and never go out, my depression has left me tired all of the time and sleeping in the day. I eat anything that's accessible and find myself too tired to cook for myself, I have lived on microwave foods and instant food mostly over the last few years. I don't feel like I eat much to even put on this amount of weight, I can't eat in the day and mostly eat in the evening and at night. My morning and afternoon calories are always missed out. It feels like with everything I eat, I store it. People may say that I am not that big, but I've noticed the change in my body, muscle fine and shape ect and I do not look healthy - at all!
I don't know what to do because my appetite is too messed up to eat regularly and I am so tried all of the time to even achieve any kind of exercise. What makes it worse is that my periods leave me extremely drained and I can't exercise before and during my period due to my hormone levels, I also suffer from Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder so any heavy exercise can leave me extremely drained and makes my hormone levels go crazy. I've gone through the process of joining gyms, setting at home workouts and failing to stick to it due to my tiredness. My muscles even tense up over a few squats and sit ups which makes it hard for me to stick to this daily (this is how unfit I am). So I am stuck in this Miss and have no idea how to get out.
I was thinking of joining a gym but don't want to end up wasting my money. I also suffer from body dysmorphia and REALLY want to change myself for the better and feel good about my body and take my life back. I am also stuck because the last time I went to the gym I was picked on by a female personal trainer who was pushing me to book personal training sessions. She made me get by body fat percentage read by holding a device and it was freakishly high (It was like 35%) - that alone killed my confidence and put me off self improvement and gyms. When I googled that body fat percentage I was freaked out, I saw extremely obese women and thought, "is this how I look to others"? And just gave up since. If I do join a gym I'll maybe mention the fact that I have body dysmorphia so this doesn't happen again. But it honestly ruined my confidence, at the time this was post-breakup and I already felt unsexy and then had a personal trainer tell me that my body fat is off the charts! The hard part is that I have a Fitbit and have short boosts of motivation, but I'd do one or two sessions of cardio or strength exercises only to NEVER stick to it.
Rant over anyway. I REALLY want to change. I'd love to hear from people who was in a similar position and would like to know how you got started to get out of this mess. My mental and physical health has been at its worst and I've had enough and have to change. Any advice would be appreciated so much as I've been stuck in this mess over the past 2-3 years!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Ua6n51
