How do you work through the lows - after a large weight loss.

Hello LoseIt,

I've been floundering a little, and thought I would take a few minutes to write out my experience and possibly seek some anecdotes from folks (so thank you in advance, if you share). I would say advice, but I am at the park in my journey where I have all the knowledge and education I need to be a healthier and better person, but, right now, for the first time, I am back up to a place I don't want to be.

Backstory / Almost 7 years ago, I was edging on 300 lbs. and something inside of me shook awake and I joined a weight loss program with some friends. I ended up sticking with it, really hardcore, and lost about 110 lbs. I went from doing nothing to running races (eventually to a marathon), joined CrossFit and did competitions, entirely changed my diet (from eating pizza, fried chicken, and lots of soda) to eating paleo, etc. This was a slow and gradual change that took about 2 years or so (so I didn't go from eating like trash person to eating paleo overnight). I am usually a very extreme kind of person, and go ALL out when I do something, which helped me in this department.

Maintenance has been a different story - and I know this is the hard part because it is the long haul, but about 4 years ago, I graduated college, started my first full-time job, came out of the closet and started dating, was dealing with my new identity as a fit individual, had a very first tumultuous relationship, eventually left my college-town that I lived in for a decade and moved to a place I knew only a few people, bought my first house, dated - dated - dated, met a wonderful man and asked him to move in with me with his 5 -year-old daughter (so became a parent), and recently just bought a house with him and am dealing with moving.

That's the quick and dirty of the central stressors over the last 5 years, that I know have contributed to my up and down. I've participated in several work weight loss programs and won them each time - so I go down about 20, but then within the next 4 months, I am back up. Currently, I won't even weigh myself because I know I am the heaviest I have been since I started losing weight.

It's all in the motivation, I just feel tired and fatigued (partially because of the food I am eating - I know, but when you are stressed, eating food you like is calming at the time).

I've told myself that I won't get back to where I was, and I am certainly not at this point, but a large portion of my clothes don't fit, and I refuse to buy new ones, but it's becoming a problem. My boyfriend loves me however I am, but I am starting to not feel comfortable with my clothes off (which was something that took me my entire life to get over). It's not inhibiting my actions so much so far, but the way I feel about myself and, in turn, that will eventually reflect in my behavior. I haven't been to the gym in a couple of months, and I am going to try and get there today, but I thought I was just put this out there and see what people have to say - if you have been in a similar situation after losing a large amount of weight. I don't want my story to be the person who lost it and then gained it back. I feel happiest when I at my comfort weight (about 175), and am probably about 50 lbs. from there now. I feel healthy and good about myself. It's not a matter of being lazy either, as, with the move, I've been working on projects all the time, but I need to focus on this as well, but when the time comes to get up and go to the gym, it just doesn't happen.

The biggest problem is the food though. Even last night, we had grilled chicken and mashed potatoes, and I ate it so fast, you wouldn't know it was ever on the plate. At a certain point, my boyfriend got up, and I grabbed two more pieces and more, and ate half of that before he even returned. That's the part he doesn't seem. I told him because there is shame in overeating, and it's not something I am proud of, but it also feels as if I am satiating something in me. I know my speed is a huge issue in eating, it's almost as if my brain is telling me to eat so fast that I can't think about what I have eaten until it's too late (and then feel guilty). My old therapist says I need to be kinder to myself, but that part is hard when you really want to stop eating, but something inside you won't' let you.

I've tamed it before, but over the last 5 years, it's been up and down, and each time, the pendulum swing is greater.

How have folks who have had significant weight loss been able to get back on track (long-long term)? I know we all stumble and fall, but I think the constant gaining and losing weight isn't healthy either.

​

Thank you for taking time out to listen to my story and thank you in advance for any anecdotes/tips you have - this sub was one of the primary motivating factors I would rely on during my initial weight loss!

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I have Aspergers and an eating disorder and have recently lost a lot of weight, and a big portion of my friends are on diets - what are some things I can say to them in encouragement without encouraging ED thoughts when we discuss healthy weight loss?

In the midst of my disordered thoughts and already problematic communication skills, I feel as though I’m struggling to respond to things they say about weight loss such as I wish I could do what you did. Hhowever I didn’t do it healthily and don’t know how to healthily motivate people that ask for it, because I myself do not think these healthy, good, sensible weight loss thoughts and I recognise it to be a problem but I wouldn’t want to accidentally lead my precious friends towards eating problems, over exercising and undereating just because I buggered up my words.

Specific things (modified ever so slightly bc I can’t remember exact wording) I’ve not known how to respond to are

“I wish I could be a fly on the wall and live with you so I could achieve significant weight loss too”

“My diet is going well!” I struggled knowing how to congratulate without coming off like they were ugly or bad before, because of how I see my own self at bigger weights and I wouldn’t want it to come off like “great, you fat fuck, now keep losing so you’re more acceptable to me” because that’s not at all my intent but a lot of my immediate responses could seem like it

Noticing people’s weight loss, am I meant to mention it or am I meant to stay quiet, as I myself love and hate it at the same time and wish it wasn’t my sole focus of myself. I wouldn’t want it to come off like “ooh you finally lost the flab then” or come off insulting / patronising

As a result of my not knowing what to say I fear I may come off as insensitive/ insincere, but I think I’m just, struggling generally so any and all suggestions are welcomed and appreciated with thanks

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Dieting in Dysfunction

tl;dr-Did anyone else live in a house where everyone else was obese and refused to change? How did (or would) you overcome a dysfunctional home life and upbringing in order to lose weight? Do you think I should just try not to worry about my weight for a couple of months until I'm hopefully out of my crazy house and on my own? When money is an issue, what do you do about only owning unhealthy food?

How does one have a proper diet amongst a dysfunctional family? Especially a dysfunctional family that struggles with obesity. I just graduated High School and I've been thinking a lot about my weight, and how I didn't think I'd still be fat after High School. I don't know, I guess I had the idea that'd I'd grow out of my weight. I'm 6 ft tall and weigh around 300-320 lbs (I don't own a working scale.) I've lost a good amount of weight before, around 50 lbs, but I'd eventually gain it all back because of a diminishing homelife. My mom was an abusive alcoholic, now she's just an alcoholic. She's still crazy, she just can't lay her hands on me. My dad is a bit of a derp, to be honest. He has a minor form of dementia and has lots of physical pains that restrict his movement. He and I are close, but I can't really go to him for any kind of advice because of his strange nature and inability to communicate sometimes.

Both of my parents are or were obese. My mom was since she was a child, but my dad used to be a bodybuilder in his prime. He's retained a lot of his muscle mass but eats poorly. My mother had gastric bypass, and she has lost a substantial amount of weight, but because of her alcoholism, she's gained back some of it. My family is definitely on the poorer side. We make around 25,000 dollars a year combined, so we really only eat cheap garbage food. I know a ton about what goes into making a good diet, but I never had the right food at my disposal.

It doesn't help that my parents will sometimes harass me for wanting to eat better. My dad unintentionally, but my mom will become offended if I ever ask about eating healthier because she assumes it's an attack on her as a mother. I also believe my mother has purposefully bought unhealthy food when I was losing weight. That's something my therapist talked about. How people in a dysfunctional environment will try to bring others down if they see them making better choices.

I don't know man, I've been running on the elliptical every day for the past three days, but I haven't been eating the healthy food I'd like. I might be going away to college soon, and I've been thinking that I can just wait until then to focus on my weight. But this is my last summer before the big world. I don't have a lot of friends, I don't talk to anyone really (not that I don't want to.) I want to make the most of this summer before I leave, even though the odds are against me, I live in the middle of nowhere. I'm planning on going to an Al-Anon meeting tonight to talk about my mother's drinking with strangers, just desperately looking for communication, not even answers. I thought about "blogging" on here with the whole day 1, day 2, kind of posts but I don't know how far that'd go. IN CONCLUSION, I was wondering if anyone else dealt with similar things during their weight loss journey? Did anyone else live in a house where everyone else was obese and refused to change? How have you overcome a dysfunctional home life and upbringing in order to lose weight? Do you think I should just try not to worry about my weight for a couple of months until I'm hopefully out on my own? When money is an issue, what do you do about only owning unhealthy food? Thanks for reading, Chunk.

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Start Today

Hi everyone!

I’ve been a lurker here for a long time but am active on fatlogic and other boards. I find people’s stories and “whys” such a huge inspiration.

I thought it was time to throw myself out there, as this weekend was my 6th anniversary of when I decided to make my change. I also wanted to use this as a chance to remind myself (and others) that weight loss is not a linear path. You WILL have ups and downs. The challenge to us all is to rise above the setbacks and persevere.

I have been overweight or obese my entire life. Long story that comes down to not being taught proper eating and bad habits established early in life. I went off to college and BOOM! Blew up with access to buffet cafeteria food, sedentary hobbies, and social ineptness (no adult friends for a long time). I finished school, married a great guy, and life continued on.

About a year after I was married I attended the wedding of my best college friend. It was a great night. Then I saw pictures of myself the next day. I was floored. Did I really look that bad? I decided to go step on the ancient scale in our bathroom that gathered dust when we were too lazy to move it when cleaning.

318 pounds.

BMI 49.8

To say I was floored was an understatement. I knew I had PCOS, but I was managing it through meds and we weren’t trying to have a kid, so I never gave it much other thought at the time. I knew we wanted to start trying soon, but it was always this thing we were going to do at some point, the way you get to 30 years old yet not really realize that yes, you’re an adult and need to be fully functioning.

I decided then and there that things needed to change. MFP at the time was intimidating to me, but I knew people that had success on weight watchers, so I signed up that day for their online only program. The next day was my birthday, and we celebrated by going to The Cheesecake Factory 🙄

Alright, if you’re serious scoutiesteph, you have to figure this out even with bad choices in front of you.

I blew all my treat points in one meal. Awesome first week.

People who have never been that obese don’t understand sometimes that it’s not easy changing your habits. They’re used to self-regulating, dieting for a week or two, or using some crash program and then fitting into their jeans again. I was and will forever be battling a food addiction. I have no sense of “full;” I have hungry and stuffed. I don’t have a My 600 Pound Life story- I wasn’t traumatized or molested. I have a NPD mother, but a supportive family who helped me through my childhood. I’d like to think I’m a well adjusted adult.

I just love food.

Yesterday I celebrated six years and my 31st birthday. In this period I have dropped 142 pounds, had two wonderful kids, and became a group fitness instructor (Body Combat for life!!)

I still struggle. I will always love food.

I have 25 pounds to go to my goal weight that my doctor asked me to hit all those years ago. I really want to do it this year. But I have gained so much. Strength. Confidence. Physical ability I didn’t know I had. I would love to pick up another teaching certificate. Maybe one day I’ll even be in a place where I could look at switching careers- I found a love of fitness and want to give that to others.

My point is this. If you’re debating making the change, don’t wait. Start now. You don’t know where you’ll be a year from now, or six. Don’t expect perfection. Expect every day will be hard.

Put in the work, because your future deserves it.

My friend’s wedding

2 years in, 100 pounds down

Post Body Combat selfie, 25 to go

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stuck at almost 30lbs down, I have another 50 I want to go but the weight wont budge

So I'm not going to BS you, I'm not perfect and I cheated 1 full weekend and on the 4th I ate some carbs. However this issue has been around for a while.

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So far my weight loss in May a whopping 20 lbs! I went from 278.8 down to 258 even. June came around and keeping the same methods that I did in May I got down to 252 around the third week of June. And I havent been able to get the weight to budge.

The few things I changed in that time is I am currently on my third week of weight lifting. I currently do a 3 day heavy lifting program, and about 2 hours of cardio every Tuesday. With this new lifting I have incorporated protein shakes and creatine.

I'm frustrated because I haven't seen weight loss and I really wanted to be down more weight at this point. Any tips or advice?

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NSV: Ran 50 miles

First, stats 22 year old M, 5'11 SW: 220 CW: 168. I took a different path through this weight loss thing. Everyone here says diet is way more important than exercise to losing weight but I love eating, and I wanted to see if I could lose weight through exercise only. In college, the freshman 15 became the freshman 40 and I realized on vacation when I couldn't keep up with a 70 year old on a hike that I was pretty out of shape and overweight. So I started running. At first it would be run a mile walk a mile then run another and these miles would be really slow. But I ran 6 days a week and slowly pushed myself further and further. After4 months my long run on Saturday got up to 15 miles. After 6 months I was able to get to a 50k, albeit very slow. Yesterday, I ran for 11 hours 6 minutes and finished my first 50 miler. I cant walk right now and am in excruciating pain. But I still can't believe that I went from struggling on a 10mi hike to running 50 mi and wanted to share my accomplishment with other people. Strava pic for proof: https://i.imgur.com/uKrTzBw.jpg

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Cheat meals are killing your progress

I think most of us when we start dieting or weight loss, we automatically result to the “food deprivation” mentality where we only stick to healthy (and usually bland) food.

This mentality will kill your progress.

It will lead us to think that we can have a cheat meal at the end of the week/month but all that is doing is telling your brain that your current way of eating isn’t sustainable and you need a cheat meal as a form of motivational boost. This is unfortunately the reason that most of us put on weight after we lost it.

The way to truly approach it is to eat in a way that you are happy and satisfied with for the long term. Eat in a way where you’re consistently satisfied and not have to resort to a cheat meal to continue dieting.

At the end of the day, the key point isn’t to diet but rather it’s to change your lifestyle and relationship with food.

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